大城小妞（2014）

Broad City S04E01

Part 2 Oct. 14, 2020, 10:19 a.m.

to my one free coffee a day for employees.
喝一杯员工的免费咖啡吧
You made that up.
这是你自己编的
There is no one free coffee a day for employees.
员工并没有每天一杯免费咖啡
You're just a thief.
你就是个小偷
Wow, did you just call me a queef?
你刚说我是酷儿小偷吗
That's sexual harrass--
这可是性骚扰
Get out, go.
出去滚
Fine.
好
Yeah, I'm so excited.
我超激动
First week in New York, I love this city.
来纽约的第一周我爱这城市
Hey, Mel?
小梅
Melody, are you home?
梅洛迪你在家吗
Is this the famous Abbi Abrams?
这位是著名的艾比·艾布拉姆斯吗
Fierce 'do!
发型真劲爆
You must be Matt.
你一定是马特了
All my friends call me Bevers.
我朋友都叫我贝弗斯
It's nice to meet you, Bevers.
幸会贝弗斯
Nice to meet you, Abbi.
幸会艾比
Ever since Melody got a job at the law firm,
自从梅洛迪在律所找到工作后
it's like I never see her.
我就再也见不到她了
I almost forgot what it's like to have a roommate.
我都快忘了有室友是什么样的感觉了
Well, don't get ahead of yourself.
别这么操之过急
It's not like I'm moving in or anything.
我又不是要搬进来什么的
Right.
对
I've been looking for places all week.
我这周都在找房♥子
I gotta find something by the weekend, fo' sho.
我得在周末前找到必须
You know, in the meantime, make yourself at home.
与此同时你请自便
And I just went food shopping.
我刚去买♥♥了食物
I'm gonna make you a snack plate.
我给你做份小吃拼盘
Uh, are you sure?
你确定吗
I mean, I don't wanna be an imposition around here or anything.
我不想在这骗吃骗喝什么的
No, it's fine.
没事
I mean, I can't eat a whole wedge of cheese on my own.
我自己也吃不完一整块奶酪
Okay. Can I give you money?
好吧我能给你钱吗
No. Come on.
不拜托
Okay... I mean, if you ever want me
好吧如果你哪天
to do chores around here or anything...
需要我做家务之类的
Listen, I'm the host, you're the guest.
听着我是主人你是客人
I wanna make my host feel comfortable,
我想让主人自在点
so as a guest, the rules of the house are
所以作为客人家里的规矩是
I never pay for food,
吃东西永远不给钱
I never do chores, is that correct?
永远不做家务是这样吗
No, that'd be weird.
不那就太奇怪了
Okay. Got it.
好的明白了
Hey, Madisons.
麦迪逊们好
Eww, I am having, like, a salty, wet diarrhea
我今天狂拉肚子
of a fucking day!
又咸又湿
What's going on with you guys?
你们在干嘛
We're actually having our weekly suite meeting.
我们在开每周例行的套房♥会议
Why would you have a suite-ing without me?
为什么开会不叫上我
Okay, um...
那个
we should just go on with it, even though she's here.
我们应该继续开下去即使她在场
Elizabeth Buton-Bates, will you please resume the PowerPoint?
伊丽莎白·布顿-贝茨你能重启PPT吗
Madison, what the fuck is this?
麦迪逊这是什么鬼
Number 27-- you call all of us Madison.
第27条你把我们都叫成麦迪逊
What are you talking about, Madis...
你在说些什么麦迪
Right, that is rude.
好吧这很无礼
I acknowledge that is rude.
我承认这很无礼
Parker Luxton?
帕克·拉克斯顿
The wall.
墙
What wall?
什么墙
The wall of graphic pornography above your bed.
你床上方的情♥色♥写实墙
Oh, come on!
拜托
I contribute a lot of culture to this suite.
我对这套房♥有很多文化方面的贡献
You're always making us watch videos of animals
你总是让我们看动物和人的
having sex with people.
性♥交♥视频
Oh, my God, again! I showed you one video.
我的天我就给你们看了那一个视频
Many times. ? Of a man fighting
看了很多次视频讲的是一个男人
for the sensual pleasure of his life,
为了体验极致快♥感♥
only to die later from internal bleeding.
后来死于内出血
It's Mr. Hands!
那可是手先生
It's literally bestiality,
那是人♥兽♥交♥配♥
and it is literally a crime to watch.
观看也是罪
I see... because if it were a lady horse and a man,
我懂了因为要是那是一匹母马和一个男人的话
no one would have a problem with it.
没人会有意见
They can get married for all I care.
他们甚至能结婚
But gay dudes can't get married yet, huh?
但是男同还不能结婚
Gay dudes can't get married, so a horse-dude
男同不能结婚所以马男
and a dude-dude can not fuck.
以及男男不能操
Jessica Merkel-Keller.
杰西卡·默克尔-凯勒
Jesus!
老天
We know this one is just mean.
我们知道这条很刻薄
But when your hair is curly, it looks like pubes.
但如果你头发是卷发看上去就像阴毛
You're a fucking bitch,
你个婊♥子♥
but I'll go over it with the iron again.
不过我会去再烫烫
Good job.
干得漂亮
That's what a throuple is.
这就是三角恋
Again, I love your hair curly.
我再说一次我喜欢你的卷发
Thank you so much!
谢谢
Okay, okay, if you had to be a throuple
如果你必须和一对现有的对象组三角恋
with any current couple, who would you pick?
你会选哪对
Michelle and Barack Obama, hands down.
绝对是奥巴马夫妻
Yes, they are so hot as a couple
是的他们作为夫妻
and as the leaders of the free world.
以及自♥由♥世界的领导人超性感
I mean, I am so relieved
我感觉很安心
that we have a hot black guy as president.
我们有一个性感的黑人总统
I mean, I feel like we're finally moving forward.
我感觉我们终于在前进了
And it's just the beginning.
这还只是开始
I mean, never backwards. Only forwards!
永不后退只前进
Next is a woman.
下一位就是女人
And so, finally, that brings us to...
最后我们要讲的是
the three principles of natural selection.
自然选择的三大♥法♥则
These are in your textbook, but I just outlined them here.
课本里有但我在这稍作概述
Mm, hi.
嗨
Aye, no, did you get kicked in the face
不会吧你又被地铁表演者
by a subway performer again? Oh, ow. Yeah.
踢中脸了吗是的
And now, we are going to open the floor
现在我们来听听
to some of our presentations.
大家的演讲
Did you bring your presentation?
你带了演讲吗
And first, we'll have... What presentation?
第一个什么演讲
Ilana Wexler?
阿♥拉♥娜·韦克斯勒
Jaime, can you pull the fire alarm again?
海眉你能再拉响火警吗
I really want to, but I'm trying to become
我也想但我希望有天能
a citizen one day. It's illegal.
成为公民这是违法的
I understand.
明白
Ilana Wexler.
阿♥拉♥娜·韦克斯勒
Yes, Professor!
我在教授
I am present and attending.
我到了
What class is this?
这是什么课
Professor...
教授
Is this French? Hm.
是法语课吗
Glasses on, phones off, please!
戴上眼镜放下手♥机♥ 拜托
Fake an emergency in 30 seconds.
30秒后伪造一个突发事件
Welcome to my lecture.
欢迎来到我的演讲
The day is Thursday, the time is one o'clock.
今天是周四现在是下午1点
Gotta stop you there.
我得打断下
It's Friday and it's 4:00 p.m.
今天是周五现在是下午4点
But please, continue.
不过你继续
I stand corrected.
我承认我错了
We shall commence our lecture... ...presentation...
我们应该立刻开始我们的