脆莓公园（2012）

脆莓公园十周年纪念洗版

听好了 林警们 我们遇上问题了
All right, rangers, we have got a problem.
都知道这是啥吗?
Do you know what this is?
2009年的红花野蔷薇
Hmm. 2009 Baja Red.
闻起来气味超赞 搁嘴里上颚发干
Playful on the nose, very dry on the palate,
感觉也没准是桉树叶 核果或者黑橄榄
hints of Eucalyptus, Stone Fruits, and Kalamata Olives.
什么? 不是 这是大♥麻♥
What? No, it's marijuana.
天呐 我心想谁猜不出来 你也能猜出来呢 Denzel
God, I figured if anyone would know, it would be you, Denzel.
怎么? 因为黑人就爱吸毒?
Why? Because all black men love weed?
哪里 因为你喜欢吸毒 瞧你的底衫
No, because you love weed. Look at your shirt.
开心大♥麻♥ 咳咳
好吧 让你说着了 谁不爱大♥麻♥啊?
Ho, that's right! Who don't like smokin' up?
我不爱 因为我还没过成人礼 而且我很忙的
Uh, I don't. Because I'm not in the sixth grade, and I have shit to do.
我是从一个嬉皮男那里查抄来的 就在警站50英尺外
I confiscated this from a dirty hippie 50 feet from this ranger station.
谁能想个法子让这个日渐庞大的贩毒团伙现形?
Who's got an idea for how to smoke out these dope growin' draft dodgers?
给力啊 伙计们 开动大脑啊
Come on, guys, get creative.
我知道怎么找灵感
I know how we can get some inspiration.
哥们 哥们 哥们 咱得造个火箭
Dude. Dude. Dude. We have to build a rocket...
直接从外太空侦查那些嬉皮士 伙计
To spy on the hippies from outer space, man.
是啊 但是一定要造成带毛的恐龙大鸡鸡形状
Yeah! But the rocket's gotta be shaped like a big, hairy dinosaur dick!
再配一副翼手龙那样的紫色大翅膀
With giant, purple pterodactyl wings.
插翅膀的恐龙毛鸡鸡?
A hairy dinosaur dick with wings?
真是碉堡了
That is brilliant!
一个猛子扎下去就把那帮混♥蛋♥崩光光
We'll swoop down and laser gun the bastards!
主意有了
That's it!
我爱死大♥麻♥了
I love weed.
Connie 联♥系♥航♥空♥局
Connie! Call NASA.
我们需要侏罗纪火箭 再配一舱撑死不偿命的洋葱圈
We need a Jurassic [Bleep] rocket and a shitload more Funyuns.
完蛋了 我已经感觉不到脸了
We're dead. I can't feel my face.
我觉得我们完蛋了 浑身上下都是虫子
I think we're dead. I've got bugs all over me!

脆莓公园
这可好 咱们耗了12个小时
Great, we just wasted twelve hours,
得出的唯一靠谱点子居然是
and the only decent idea we had...
拿基因改良的猫火箭袭击他们
was attacking them with a genetically engineered cat robot.
我还是觉得能行
I still think it can work.
得了 我要请♥愿♥联邦调查局
No, I'm calling in the Feds.
何必啊? Denzel和我就能摆平那几个嬉皮士
Why? Denzel and I can take these hippies down.
另外 我一直挺想当个便衣警♥察♥
Besides, I always wanted to be an undercover cop.
给我滚开
Get off of me!
接下来缉毒局会接管此事
Now, the DEA is gonna handle this.
可是Woody... - 闭嘴
But Woody, I... - No!
打死我也不会答应让你过来搅事儿的
There's no way in hell I'm gonna let you screw this up!
你已经二到姥姥家了 再说Denzel...
You're way too stupid! And as for Denzel...
没事啊 我才不想当什么便衣警♥察♥
It's all good. I don't wanna be no undercover cop.
你不想? 便衣警♥察♥多酷啊
You don't? But it's so cool!
嘿 你们俩白♥痴♥要唱黑白脸 给我下班唱去
Hey, could you two idiots play good cop, black cop on your own time?
我要求助缉毒局
I'm calling the DEA.
Malloy 你这是干嘛呢? - 干电♥话♥啊
Malloy! What are you doing? - Phone sex.
帅爆了吧 你个没女人嗨不成的衰货
What's it look like, you crazy, co-dependent [Bleep] sucker?
喔 Malloy 这话你说都太损了
Whoa! Malloy, that's even mean for you.
再损也损不过你妈为了怀孕
Not as mean as your mom for getting pregnant
跑去松饼屋的寻欢洞作乐啊
by backing up to a glory hole in a waffle house.
寻欢洞: 透过木板或墙壁的洞口进行性行为
笑什么笑 你个臭女人?
What are you laughing at, you [Bleep]?
想偷摸溜走是吧? 你个带奶的大卡车
Nice try trying to sneak outta here, you dump truck with tits.
上帝啊 Malloy 你这是怎么了?
My God, Malloy. What is happening to you?
这阵子你可是超级刻薄啊
Lately, you've been incredibly mean,
而且还总干... 好吧 他又去干我的午餐了
and you've been humping... Ohh, he's [Bleeping] my lunch!
一分钟后你就能吃上了
You can eat this in a minute.
赶紧把手指插♥我♥屁屁 我就能射了
Now, stick your finger in my butt, so I can finish.
Ethel 能说会话吗?
Ethel, can we talk?
抱歉 这是胃在叫呢 - Connie 你没事吧?
Sorry, that's my stomach. - Connie, are you okay?
其实 我最近碰上点资金流动问题
Yeah, I'm having a little bit of a cash flow problem.
我都一个礼拜没吃东西了 能跟你借点钱不?
Haven't eaten in a week. Can I borrow some money?
买♥♥吃的? 当然能借
For food? Of course.
不是 呆子 是为了我的电♥话♥灵媒
No, silly, for my telephone psychic.
我一天到晚跟她聊天 她出价很高的
I call her all the time. She's very expensive.
Connie 我不会为了什么电♥话♥灵媒把钱借给你的
Connie, I am not loaning you money to throw away on some stupid psychic.
我可把你当朋友的 Ethel
I thought you were my friend, Ethel.
Connie
Oh, Connie.
现在才是阴♥道♥在叫
Now, that one was my vagina.
缉毒局
欢迎二位先生
Welcome, gentlemen.
我是本园核心林警 特别侦查执行员Steve Williams
I'm your point man here, Special Detective Ranger enforcer Steve Williams.
我已做好准备接手你们部署的
I'm prepared to handle any sort of secret combat
任何秘密战斗或侦查任务
or spying mission you require of me.
好的 Williams特别侦查员
Yes, um, Special Detective Williams.
你正是我们想见的人
You're just the man we want to see.
真的? - 没错
I am? - Oh, yeah.
我们有活儿拜托你
We got a job for you.
Denzel 联邦调查员着陆不到五分钟
Denzel! The Feds are on the ground for less than five minutes,
就部署我一件重要的运输任务
and I already landed a key transport mission!
你这是给人拉行李 衰货
You're carrying their luggage, dumb ass.
我听说机械战警上班第一天干的也是这事
I heard Robocop had to do the same thing on his first day.
你不会喜欢做条子的 相信我 Steve
You don't wanna become a cop. Trust me, Steve.
我们Jackson家祖祖代代都是条子
The Jackson family's always been cops.
我爸 条子 他爸 条子
My father, cop. His father, cop.
他爸的爸 条子
His father, cop.
他爸的爸的爸 奴隶
His father, slave.
可他那时候没得选啊
But he really didn't have a choice.
一窝子条子啊 你咋不子承父业?
Wow, that's a lot of cops. Why didn't you become one too?
因为他们都在执行任务时被人干掉了
Because they all got their asses killed in the line of duty.
我们要解决的只是一帮嬉皮士
It's just a bunch of pot-growing hippies.
要逮住他们很容易...
It would be so easy to just go...
真会分我神
Oh, that's disturbing.
Malloy 放开那个小背包
Malloy, stop humping the duffel bag!
人家是手提包 乡巴佬
It's a valise, you peasant.
不许你呵斥我
Don't you snap at me!
它这是闹什么邪啊?
What's wrong with him?
很正常 Woody 青春期闹的
It's normal, Woody. It's puberty.
它的蛋蛋正在分泌大量睾丸素 搞得它蠢蠢欲动
His testicles are producing large amounts of testosterone, hence the mood swings.
不出一晚他就进入成年期了
He'll be full-grown practically overnight.
不行 我不想它长大
No, I don't want that!
必须想个法子阻止这事
There's got to be some way to stop this.
我在哪?
Where am I?
还记得不 宝贝?
Oh, remember, honey?
老爹带你到兽医那儿去... 洗牙齿了
Daddy took you to the vet to get your... Teeth cleaned?
我蛋疼的要死
My balls are killing me!
看着来还好呀
Eh, they look all right.
Malloy的蛋蛋
你把我给阉了?
You had me neutered?
嘿 这样你就不会那么刻薄了
Hey, you won't be mean anymore.
美国演员 因外貌年轻被称作美国最老的青年
而且你将会青春永驻 就像Dick Clark一样
Plus, you'll be forever young, just like Dick Clark.
Steve 我怀疑你是不是骗我
Steve, I'm starting to think you lied to me
这里哪有什么游乐园
about there being an amusement park out here.
干嘛疑神疑鬼的?
Why are you so suspicious?
我从没听说脆莓有什么游乐园
Well, for one, I never heard of no Six Flags over Brickleberry.
第二 咱明摆着是在尾随那俩便衣警♥察♥
And for two, we are clearly following those undercover agents.
他们会为我们给他们的机密会议放哨
They are really going to appreciate us getting their backs during their...
感激得不得了的
top-secret undercover meeting.
什么? Steve 我说过不想卷进这档事的
What? Steve, I told you I don't want no part of this.
真棒 看看这是谁
Oh, great, look who it is.
我们最喜欢的林警 傻蛋和蠢驴
Our favorite tree cops, doofus and dick-breath.
对啊 一边凉快去吧
Yeah, piss off.
如果我们看到有树乱穿马路 会告诉你们的
If we see any fish or trees jaywalking, we'll let you know.
没问题 收到 明白
You do that. Affirmative. 10-4.
是时候找点当警♥察♥的乐子了
Here's our chance to do something police-y.
站住 不要进那边的小屋
Hold it! Stay clear of that shed over there.
两个缉毒局哥们正准备逮捕几个种大♥麻♥的
My two DEA buddies are about to bust some marijuana farmers,
他们可不好对付...
and they are tough...
厉害到连防弹衣都不用穿
So tough that they aren't even wearing bulletproof vests.
谢谢 你可真是个好心人