脆莓公园（2012）

Did I enjoy that so much?
Steve 如果两年内你能坚持每天接受若干臀部注射
So, Steve, after two years of taking multiple daily shots in the buttocks,
就可以从无毛怪胎摇身一变...
you can expect to go from this hairless freak...
成为帅气的情种
To this handsome devil.
这算啥玩意 就四根毛吗?
What is that, like, four more hairs?
是最多四根毛
Up to four more hairs.
仅需"生毛灵"
Growitol.
需咨♥询♥医生是否对己适用
Ask your doctor if Growitol's right for you.
你就是我医生 我就是来找你咨♥询♥的
You are my doctor. That's why I'm here.
是吗? 知道不 Steve 我一直都更把你当朋友
Am I? You know, Steve, I always saw you more as a friend.
顺带说一句 几年前我就被禁止开业行医了
Besides, I was banned from practicing medicine years ago.
我可没开玩笑
I'm not kidding.
你就没别的东西给我吗?
Isn't there anything else you can give me?
没有头发 我什么都不是
Without hair, I'm nobody.
我既不灵光 又不像看起来那么壮
I'm not smart, I'm not as athletic as I look,
几乎没什么个性 但又不招人喜欢
my personality is non-existent, yet somehow grating.
好吧 Steve 这是我用的生发油
Well, Steve, there is the hair tonic that I use.
是我从中国黑市上买♥♥来的
I purchased it on the Chinese black market.
或者说是黑中国市场?
Or was it the black Chinese market?
反正这东西是拿老虎精♥液♥提炼的
Anyway it's made with tiger sperm.
记住 朋友 只要每个礼拜往头皮上擦一点...
Now remember, friend, just rub a thimbleful on your scalp once a week...
这可不妙
Ooh. Not good.
不过好在我还是个无证律师
Lucky for you, I'm also a malpractice attorney.
这是我的名片
My card.
天呐 怎么一下热起来了
Man, it's hot all of a sudden.
我怎么了?
What happened?
天呐 我肯定是喝太高了
Man, I got a wicked hangover.
老天 我到底怎么了?
Oh, God. What have I done?
祈祷吧 大灰熊
Say your prayers, grizzly bear.
你将为咬死我邻居的猪付出代价
This is for killing my neighbor's pig.
那猪下西洋棋能下赢我
That pig beat me in checkers.
它们比狗都要聪明
They smarter than dogs, you know.
不 拜托不要杀我
No, please don't shoot.
他能说话 别开枪 Bobby 他可不是熊
He talk. Hold on, Bobby. That ain't no bear.
美加地区发现但未证实的巨型怪兽
这货是大脚怪
That right there is Bigfoot.
大脚怪? 我想你们搞...
Bigfoot. Ha. I'm afraid you're...
我的老天 我们正站在奇迹的面前
Holy shit, we're in the presence of greatness.
嘿 大伙们
Hey, everybody!
他是大脚怪 活生生的名人
It's Bigfoot, a real-life celebrity.
你毛发好漂亮 手感就像丝绸
Your hair is beautiful. It's so silky.
能跟你合张影吗?
Can we get a picture with you?
听着 大伙们 你们真让我受宠若惊 但...
Listen, people, I'm flattered by the attention, but...
大脚怪 能在我大奶♥子♥上签名吗?
Bigfoot, will you sign my gigantic breasts?
大脚怪乐意为您效劳
Bigfoot would love to.
大脚怪英文bigfoot含2个字母O
刚好我知道该把两个o签在哪
I know just where I'm gonna put the os.
乳♥头♥上
The nipples.
嘿 谁看到我订书机了?
Hey, has anyone seen my stapler?
很可能在你桌子上
It's probably on your desk.
谢谢 - 我桌子上哪去了?
Thanks. - Where's my desk?
在它一直在的地方啊 复印机旁边
Where it always is. By the copy machine.
复印机又特么跑哪去了?
Where's the goddamn copy machine?
就在那儿啊 Denzel 你能看到 对不?
It's right there. Denzel, you see it, don't you?
当然能啦
Of course I do.
这可不妙
This isn't good.
目测你马上会迎来新一轮抓狂期
You're probably having another one of your episodes.
你刚是不是拍死一只苍蝇? - 我想是的
Did you just kill a fly? - Huh. I guess I did.
这可一点都不像你 Ethel - 没什么大不了啦 一只苍蝇而已
That's not like you at all, Ethel. - Ah, it's no big deal. It's just a fly.
我之前"动物救星"的立场似乎有点太极端了
My old "savior to the animals" stance may have been a little extreme.
好吧 你能想明白我还是蛮高兴的
Well, I'm glad to hear you've come to your senses.
谢谢
Thank you.
瞧瞧你 居然还活着
Oh, look at you. You're still alive.
这娘们儿魔怔了
This bitch is crazy.
好吧 我只有回答你们最后几百个问题的时间 各位
Okay, I only have time for several hundred more final questions, everybody.
你好 大脚怪 我是"Timmy油管频道"的Timmy
Hello, Bigfoot, Timmy from Timmy's YouTube channel.
为什么在数世纪躲藏之后 你选择在公众跟前露面?
Why now, after centuries of hiding, have you chosen to go public?
因为 Timmy 我想要出名嘛
Because, Timmy, I wanted to be famous.
名人总会受到很牛X的待遇
And famous people get a shitload of ass.
大脚怪万岁
Yay, Bigfoot!
我没看错吧? - 是真的吧?
Is it? - Could it be?
一点都不错
You damn right it is.
星球大战里的种族 千年隼号♥为星球大战里的飞船
哟 丘巴卡 能带我到千年隼号♥上走一遭吗?
Yo, Chewbacca, you got to give me a ride in the Millennium Falcon.
错了 他是大脚怪 光靠这一种神秘的生物
No, it's Bigfoot, the mythical creature that's responsible for
探索频道都做过无数小时的垃圾节目了
countless hours of shitty programming on the Discovery Channel.
Connie 快看谁来了 - 随便啦 你好 大脚兄
Connie, look who's here. - Yeah, nice to meet you, Bigfoot.
大家 我还是担心Steve 他从昨天开始就没露过面了
Guys, I'm worried about Steve. He's been missing since yesterday.
Steve可以去死
Ah, screw Steve.
大脚怪才是真正的旅游亮点
Bigfoot's a bona fide tourist attraction.
但Steve是咱的朋友啊 我担心他遇到危险了
But Steve's our friend. I think he could be in danger.
你对他真是关心有加 素未谋面的陌生人
That's very sweet of you, stranger who I've never met,
可以再把注意力回到我身上吗? 大脚怪 如假包换
but let's not draw attention away from me, Bigfoot, because that's who I am.
"脚"先生 脆莓就是你的家啦
Mr. Foot, please feel welcome here at Brickleberry.
只要别撒野把俺们脸都撕下来就行啊
As long as you don't go all chimpy and rip our faces off.
丫不会真想使这招了吧
I think I just gave him an idea.
不用怕 类人族 大脚怪是你们朋友
Fear not, humanoids. Bigfoot's your friend.
尼斯湖位于苏格兰 盛传水怪传说
不会像那个反犹太的尼斯湖水怪
Unlike that Jew-hating Loch Ness Monster.
老子恨死犹太人
I hate the Jews!
我只求你们取悦我
All I desire is your adulation.
那谁给我准备点橡皮手套
Somebody give me some rubber gloves.
就算要取悦这货 我也不想弄得一手酸奶糊糊
If I'm gonna adulate this guy, I don't want to get that gunk all over my hands.
嘿 Steve
Hey, Steve.
我不是什么Steve 我的林栖动物小伙伴
I'm not Steve, my fellow woodland creature.
我可是声名狼籍的... 大... 啊...
I'm the notorious B-i-g...
脚嗷... 怪...
F-o-o-t...
拼对没?
E.
管你有毛没毛 你闻起来就像土耳其佬的蛋蛋
Hair or no hair, you smell like a Turkish man's balls.
求你了 Malloy 别拆穿我啊
Please, Malloy, don't blow this for me.
Steve的死活没人在乎 这是我改头换面的机会啊
No one gives a damn about Steve. This is a chance to reinvent myself.
Polamalu原是橄榄球员 后转型拍广♥告♥和跑电影龙套
放心吧 转型男 我不会拆穿你的
Take it easy, Polamalu. I'm not gonna blow your cover.
这里面可有钱赚 我当你的经纪人就行
There's money to be made here. And I'll be your manager.
好吧 5%听着可以吧?
Okay. 5% sound fair?
行啊 就给你5% - 成交 靠 熊孩子真会算
Sure. I'll give you 5%. - Deal. Wow, you're shrewd.
还好你是我这边的
I'm lucky you're on my side.
大脚怪体毛 如假包换
寻人启示
大脚怪摔角锦标赛
大脚怪浓情朱古力 导演: Malloy
你个可怜的小宝贝
Oh, you poor baby.
Ethel会让一切都变好的
Ethel will make it all better.
你特么这是干嘛?
What the hell are you doing?
情非得已啊 Denzel 这萌人小崽子被它妈抛弃了
I have to do it Denzel, this cute little guy was abandoned by his mother.
人家才没被妈妈抛弃
He wasn't abandoned by his mother.
它妈就在旁边呢
His mother's right there.
我滴个天爷 让你打死了 - 我别无选择啊 Denzel
Oh, my God. You shot it! - Well, I had no choice, Denzel.
一看幼崽要死 她就失去理智了
It was distraught its baby was about to die.
别说了 Ethel 你特么哪根筋抽了?
All right, Ethel, what the hell is going on with you?
好吧 是这样的
All right, here's the thing.
杀鹿那天 我享受到了一生中最棒的高♥潮♥
When I killed that deer, I had the best orgasm of my life.
之后我就走上了这条不归路
I've been chasing that dragon ever since.
Ethel 你糊涂啊 女人才不会有高♥潮♥呢
Ethel, you're confused. Women don't have no orgasms.
你可别杀生了啊 妹子 - 可能你说得对 Denzel
And you got to stop this killing, girl. - I guess you're right, Denzel.
我答应你 不再杀生
I promise, no more killing.
从现在开始
Starting now.
北美对大脚怪的官方称呼
萨支科奇人
Sasquatch!
我可在菊花处纹了你的脸哟
I got your face tattooed on my anus!
超爱你 真心希望我可以停车啥的
Much love. Wish I could stop.
我们来谈谈宏大前景吧
Let's talk big picture here.
星球大战里长得像大脚怪的种族
"森林里的伍基人"这出到底要演多久?
How long we gonna milk this Wookiee in the woods routine?
你说些什么呀? Steve已经是历史了
What are you talking about? Steve is dead.
我要做一辈子大脚怪
I'm gonna be Bigfoot forever.