脆莓公园（2012）

脆莓公园十周年纪念洗版

哟 熊仔 - 我们可盯着你呢 衰货
Yo, pooh bear. - We watching you, sucker.
靠 咱整得丫服帖的 - 可不嘛
Man, we run this bitch. - Yeah.
而且和最好的朋友工作 都不像在工作了
And when you work with your best friend, it's not even like work.
我也这么觉得 哥们 要是工作太难 我直接撂挑子
I feel the same way, bro. When working is hard work, I stop working.
知道咱缺点啥吗?
You know what we should do?
想一个口号♥ 再干刚才那种屌♥事 我们就有的说了
Come up with a catchphrase, so we can say it when we do something cool like that.
比如我们名字的结合体 或者...
It should be, like, a combination of our names or...
Ste-Zel - 就是这个了
Ste-Zel. - That's it.
你是怎么想出来的?
How did you just come up with that?
我是黑人 - 天啊 黑人还真酷
I'm black. - Man, you are cool.
救命 救命啊
Help! Help!
不 不 不要啊 拜托 快停下来
No, no, no, no! Please, no!
不要啊
Ow, ow, no!
天呐
Oh, my God!
滚 有多远滚多远 这儿发生了什么?
Get out of here! Go on! What happened here?
我正忙自己的事 这头麋鹿就过来把我上了
I was just minding my business when this moose sexually assaulted me.
我要报告给国家公园管理局和国会
I'm gonna report this to the National Park service, congress.
我要告你们...
I'll sue your...
你要干嘛? 不 不要 别来了 不
What are you doing? No, no, no, no. Not again, no.
现在再问你一遍 这儿发生了什么?
Now we're gonna ask you one more time. What happened here?
没事了 什么也没发生 啥事也没有
Nothing. Nothing happened. Nothing at all.
这是谁的错?
And whose fault was it?
我的 都是我不好
It was mine. All my fault.
你这是活该 不是吗?
You were asking for it, weren't you?
穿得像个婊♥子♥到处乱走
Walking around dressed like a whore.
对不对? - 你说啥是啥
Ain't that right? - Whatever you say.
我不该穿这身衣服
I should have never worn this outfit.
答得好
Good answer.
Ste-Zel
Ste-Zel.

脆莓公园
出了什么状况?
What's the emergency?
Woody不拉警报很多年了
Woody hasn't used the siren in years.
肯定出什么大事了
It's got to be something major.
最好有事 我正做大美梦呢
It better be. I was having a good dream.
天呐 我也做了这个梦
Oh, my God. I had the same dream.
Ste-Zel
Ste-Zel.
狗屎风暴之红色决战已到 各位
Condition red armageddon shitstorm, people.
内政部长今天要来突击检查
The Secretary of the Interior is coming for a surprise inspection today!
今日 视察日
其实不算突击检查 半年前我就写到日历上了
Actually, it's not a surprise. I put it on his calendar six months ago.
你在那狗屁日历上写 "注意查看日历"了吗?
Did you write "check calendar" on the goddamn calendar?
写了 - 你还真写了啊
Yes. - Oh, you did, huh?
好的 我们只有几小时把这一团糟整理干净
Okay, we only got a few hours to get this crap hole into shape
趁Sanders还没到
before Sanders gets here.
女警们 去把园里的死动物扫光
Ladies, sweep the Park for dead animals.
Sanders 你不是说Kirk Sanders 是吧?
Sanders? You don't mean Kirk Sanders, do you?
是啦 是啦 Kirk Sanders
Yeah, yeah. Kirk Sanders.
看 这才是鼓足干劲的态度
Now that's a go-get-'em attitude.
Steve 你去帮我放一场森林大火
Steve, I want you to start a forest fire.
保证完成任务 长官
I'll do it without question, Sir.
有个问题 为什么要去放火?
Quick question. Why am I doing this?
听好 傻子 等扑灭大火 我就成英雄了
Because, stupid, when I put the fire out, I'll be a hero.
然后升职
I'll get a promotion.
最次也能抵掉一点战争罪吧
Or at least get some of those war crimes expunged.
Woody 那我♥干♥啥? - 你啥时想干活了?
Yo, Woody, what's my job? - Since when do you want a job?
如果这儿被关了 我就没工资了
If this place shuts down, I don't get paid.
我可没想过征你的税 Denzel
I didn't want to tax you, Denzel.
你就笑笑 口齿伶俐点就好
Just smile and try to be articulate.
你"口齿伶俐"毛意思? - 抱歉 超出你理解范围了
What do you mean "articulate"? - I'm sorry. Way over your head.
意思是说点好听的
It means well-spoken.
我当然知道什么意思 你个无知的蠢蛋
I know what it means, you ignorant bastard.
我也要找点重要的事做 我来负责点火
I want something important to do. I'll be in charge of starting that fire.
好的 好的 我肯定你能干好 Denzel
Okay, okay. I'm sure you can do the job, Denzel.
抱歉 我对种族不太感冒 - 谢了
Sorry if I was racially insensitive. - Thank you.
你点火那绝对是一流
Of course you're qualified to start fires.
不然他要怎么庆祝NBA总冠军?
How else would he celebrate an NBA championship?
Wood-Loy
Wood-Loy!
去死吧 那俩货
Man, screw those guys.
我可不为了我的球队赢总冠军就放火烧东西
I don't burn things because my teams win championships.
我那么做是为骗保险金
I do it for the insurance money.
天呐 正儿八经的黑人
Oh, my God. A real black man.
希望这要求不会太过分
I hope it's not too much to ask,
但如果你能铆劲抽我一贱嘴巴 我会倍感荣幸
but I'd consider it an honor if you'd bitch slap me as hard as you can.
什么? 你快滚人吧
What? Get yo ass out of here.
Denzel 你太粗鲁了
Denzel, that's rude.
"抽贱嘴巴" 太没礼貌了
"Bitch slap. " That's offensive.
我真该抽死这贱♥人♥
I should slap that bitch.
Steve 你不懂作为方圆几英里内唯一的黑人 我啥感受
Steve, you have no idea what's it like to be the only black person for miles around.
谁都盯着我看 好像我是个罪犯
Everyone staring at me, like I'm a criminal!
当下美国
咋了? 我搞不懂你在气什么
What? I don't see what you're so mad at.
人们都喜欢盯着你看
So people enjoy looking at you.
你就像是...
You're, like, a...
动物园里的猴子? - 没错 你就像是动物园的猴子
Like a monkey in the zoo? - Exactly, you're like a monkey in the zoo.
类比得太好了
Perfect analogy.
你知道这是多严重的种族歧视吗?
Do you know how racist that is?
种族歧视? 得了吧 天知地知哪还有什么种族歧视?
Racist? Come on. We both know there's no racism anymore.
从马丁·路德·金登上月球那天就没了
It ended the day Martin Luther King landed on the moon.
靠 知道你在胡扯些什么吗?
Man, you don't know what you're talking about.
搁今天 我还巴不得做黑人呢
I would love to be black in today's society.
Nigger: 黑人蔑称 禁忌语 但黑人兄弟间彼此这样称呼
你们引领潮流 还可以说那个对黑人♥大♥不敬的词
You set all the trends, and you get to say the "N" word.
你可不知道我有多少次想说那个词了
You have no idea how many times I've wanted to say the "N" word.
知道吗? Steve 我得离你这个傻X远点
You know what, Steve? I need some time away from your dumb ass.
等下 你不是生我气了吧? - 哪的话 生什么气啊
Wait. You're not mad at me, are you? - Oh, no. I'm not mad.
好吧 你现在把我搞糊涂了
Okay, now you're sending mixed signals.
你有注意公园里的死动物比活动物还多吗?
Uh, have you noticed this Park has more dead animals than live animals?
可能和这棵树有关系
It might have something to do with this... tree.
高度辐射请注意
或致胎儿畸形或暴毙 不过通信中断减少了
Woody找人装了这个 这样他就能免费发短♥信♥了
Woody let them install it so he could get free text messaging.
永别了 濒危的朋友
Good-bye, endangered friend.
那个 Connie 你有坚持吃药吗?
So, Connie, have you been taking your meds?
因为我注意到你会比平时疯癫一些
Because I noticed you went a little more bat-shit crazy than usual
只要Woody一提... Kirk Sanders
when Woody mentioned the name Kirk Sanders.
Kirk Sanders
Kirk Sanders!
就像这样
Like that.
我有个不为人知的秘密
There's something about me you don't know.
来脆莓前 我本在接受海豹突击队训练
Before I came to Brickleberry, I was trained to be a Navy Seal.
Sanders是我的指挥官
Sanders was my C.O.
本来我在里面也算顺风顺水
I was actually really good at it.
但Sanders发现了我的软肋
But Sanders discovered my weakness.
而且利用这点对付我
And he used it against me.
我的老天爷
Holy Jesus.
这什么玩意? 这特么是什么玩意?
What is that? What the [Bleep] Is that?
报告 是四人份感恩节大餐 长官
Sir, a four-course Thanksgiving dinner, Sir.
为什么你把整份感恩节大餐藏在床脚柜里?
Why did you hide an entire Thanksgiving dinner in your footlocker?
报告 我一紧张就想吃东西 长官
Sir, I eat when I get nervous, Sir.
你喜欢吃感恩节大餐对吧?
So you like Thanksgiving dinner?
从现在开始 你就一周7天一天24小时不停吃感恩节大餐
Well, from now on, you will be eating Thanksgiving dinner 24 7!
我长胖不少 而肥胖似乎也影响了我的发挥
All the weight I gained sort of affected my performance.
这些人都是因你而死
These men are dead because of you!
吃吧 他们用生命买♥♥了单 现在轮到你"享用"了
Now eat! They paid for it. You eat it.
自那时起 我就有些体重问题
And I've had a slight weight problem ever since.
那家伙毁了我的前程
That man ruined my life.
你人生不算灰暗啦 还能在这儿工作呢
Oh, your life's not so bad. You work here.
这样烧起来又透又快 真棒
This should go up nice and quick. Whoosh!
婴儿睡衣 中国制♥造♥
嘿 Denzel 我想为之前的事道歉
Hey, Denzel. I just want to apologize for earlier.
我不知道身为黑人的感受 我们现在和解了吗?
I don't know what it's like to be in your shoes. We okay now?
是啊 无所谓了 - 我给你弄了个这个
Yeah, we cool. - Oh, and I got you this.
皮条客杯: 黑人刻板印象的一部分
是个皮条客杯 奇怪的是你居然没这玩意