脆莓公园（2012）

Steve, come in, Steve, I got good news. - Go ahead.
被你摩托艇撞了的那家伙不打算起诉了
That guy you hit with a jet ski decided to forget the lawsuit.
因为他脑部受损 现在什么都记不起来了
'Course he forgets everything now 'cause of all the brain damage.
多谢提醒
Thanks for that information.
不如把无线电关上吧
How'bout a little radio silence?
先别关 Malloy想和你聊
Hold on, Malloy wants to talk to you.
不 不要 - Steve
No, I don't want... - Steve.
Steve Steve? - 说
Steve. Steve? - What!
还记得那次你喝醉 把碎纸机当成女人♥大♥屁♥股♥不?
Remember that time you got drunk and thought the paper shredder was a vagina?
这混小子
Bastard.
清静多了
That's better.
Steve
Steve.
Malloy 新食谱如何? 小伙子
Malloy, how's the diet going, son?
起先我不是很喜欢 但现在感觉清爽多了
I didn't like it at first, but I feel really healthy now.
这样就好 小伙子
That's great, little buddy.
这是你两份带热奶油脆皮的超大号♥馅饼
I got two large supreme pies with melty-cheese-filled butter crusts,
三份特制香辣鸡翅
Three dozen wings with extra ranch,
两升可乐 还有一杯鸡油
two-liter coke, and a cup of fried chicken fat.
总计42刀 - 先拿车垫着
That'll be 42 bucks. - How'bout a car?
棒极了
Sweet.
Malloy
Malloy!
我为你感到羞愧 新食谱是为了你的健康
I'm ashamed of you. This diet is for your own good.
我不知道没有你我该怎么办 小宝贝
I don't know what I'd do if I lost you, snuggly bear.
知道在你来之前 我有多严重的心理创伤吗?
You know how bad my post-traumatic stress was before you moved in?
快扣扳机 快扣啊
Pull the trigger. Do it.
你这个胆小鬼 你妈从来都不爱你
You don't have the balls. Your mother never loved you.
不扯淡了 我回去工作了 已经给你准备好午餐了
Anyway, I got to get back to work. But I already made your lunch.
我的车上哪去了?
Where's my car?
Denzel
Denzel!
Woody 看 我救了个登山客
Woody, look. I saved a hiker.
他已经翘辫子了 Steve
He's dead, Steve.
可我发现他时还活着 - 这绝对不能容忍♥ Steve
He was alive when I found him. - This is unacceptable, Steve.
知道我要做什么吗?
You know what I'm gonna do?
我要取消你一颗金星
I'm gonna take away one of your gold stars.
不
No!
我看到亮光了
I saw a bright light.
显什么摆啊
Friggin' show-off.
干的不错 Ethel 你因救活那个人多得一星
Good work, Ethel. You get one star for saving that man's life.
附带一星奖励你的魔鬼身材和凑合脸
And one star because you have a nice body and a okay face.
只是凑合看吗?
Okay face?
减星 态度不端正
Minus, one star for attitude.
她还是比你强啊 Steve
She's still kicking your ass, Steve.
得了吧 你又有多少星? - Woody给我三颗星
Well, how many stars do you have? - Woody, give me 3 stars!
行为可嘉
Affirmative action.
严格说这不是嘉奖行为 只是钻福利的空罢了
Technically, that's not affirmative action. It's more like star welfare.
好吧 我想我低估你了
Well, I guess I underestimated you.
现在我不会跟你客气了 我要让你玩完
Not anymore. I'm going to destroy you.
听着 我对你的破勋章没任何兴趣
Listen, I didn't want your stupid little medal.
但现在 我要用能力证明我能拿到它
But now, I'm going to take it just because I can.
顺带一提 我叫Connie - 我们自我介绍过了
I'm Connie, by the way. - We already met.
我要淹死了 救命
I'm drowning, help!
救命
Help!
请勿喂熊
喂熊 赢直升机
濒危秃鹫栖息地
证件拿出来我看看 宝贝儿
Can I see some I.D. please, honey?
驾照
我看这不是你本人
I don't think this is you.
还有人靠"本能猜测"来干工作 真是骇人听闻
It is shocking that someone with your instincts is working here.
他劫店 劫店啊
He robbed me! He robbed me!
上帝啊
Oh, lord!
不要啊
No!
苍天啊
Oh, God.
不了个是吧?
Seriously?
芝士条
Oh, a cheeto.
总算有个完美结局
Oh, that actually had a happy ending.
你特么知道自己在干嘛吗?
What the hell do you thing you're doing?
上头来命令了 这边换贴热辣林警
The order came in. We're putting up this hot ranger.
那边换《Rosie O'Donnell访谈》广♥告♥
And taking down this ad for The Rosie O'Donnell Show.
2002年就已停播的日间访谈节目
拜托啊 - 在找这个吗?
Come on. - Looking for this?
薯条
进来兄弟 我这儿有薯片 糖果 小甜饼 要啥有啥
Come on in, man, I got tater chips, candy, moon pies, whatever you want!
你不会想强♥奸♥我吧?
You're not gonna rape me, are you?
你看我长得像强♥奸♥犯吗?
Do I look like a rapist to you?
你长得完全就是一强♥奸♥犯
You look like exactly like a rapist.
就因为是个土老帽儿 我就像强♥奸♥犯了?
Oh, just 'cause I'm a redneck, I'm a rapist?
我就是个坏到家的大强♥奸♥犯
I'm a big, bad rapist.
那我身上带着胶布和氯仿也就顺理成章了 是不?
I guess that explains why I got this duct tape and chloroform, right?
你还真是越抹越黑
You're really not helping your case.
不不不 是你觉得我是强♥奸♥犯
No, no, no, you think I'm a rapist.
我可是有法♥院♥强制执行法令
It's a good thing I got this court order mandating
说我不可以靠近青少年和小动物的哦
that I stay 50 yards away from young'uns and small animals.
我的大名就签在这里
With my name on it right there.
好吧 我还是回去好了 - 我刚才有提巧克力吗?
Okay, I better be getting back. - Did I mention I have chocolate?
我想我能进去呆个分把钟
Well, maybe I can come in for a minute.
我擦 - 你来Ethel的小屋干嘛?
Holy shit. - What are you doing in Ethel's cabin?
我... 等下 你又在她房♥里干嘛呢?
I'm... wait. What are you doing in the Ethel's cabin?
尾♥行♥她
Stalking her.
我是来打枕头仗的
I'm here for the pillow fight.
搞毛啊?
What the hell?
哎哟天哪 刚才太险了
Oh, my God, that was close.
但也很棒哦 我们之间有共同点了
But it's so awesome, we have something in common.
哪点? - 咱俩都喜欢Ethel啊
What? - We both like Ethel.
等下 你会爱死这个的
Hold on. You'll love this.
我把它叫作"知味盒" 看着啊
I call it my sniffy box. Check it out.
脚趾甲
你来爽一下? - 那啥... 时间不早了
You want a hit? - You know... it's getting kind of late.
好吧 那 你想讨论Ethel就随时过来
Okay. Well, come by any time you want to talk about Ethel.
我觉得她好完美哦
I think she's perfect.
除了她是酒鬼这事之外
Well, except for the fact that she's an alcoholic.
她是什么?
She's a what?
她日记里有写
It says it right here in her diary.
而且酒品也相当差
She's a bad drunk too.
她就是因为这个被黄石公园开除的
That's why she was fired from Yellowstone.
这是棵树 另外我还堕过11次胎
This is a tree, and I've had 11 abortions.
干嘛?
What?
你来干嘛?
What do you want?
听着 我们开始没搞好关系
Look, we got off on the wrong foot.
我是来和解并向你道喜的
I came over to bury the hatchet and say congratulations.
看起来我们有了个顶级林警了
It looks like we've got a new top ranger.
来庆祝吧
Let's celebrate!
我不喝酒的 - 我也不喝
I don't drink. - Me neither.
这是无酒精的伏特加
This is non-alcoholic vodka.
知道吗? 我才不想跟你一起庆祝呢
You know what? I don't want to celebrate with you.
自从你发现我的确胜任这份工作之后
Ever since you found out that I'm actually good at my job,
就对我表现得很混♥蛋♥
You've been a total jerk to me.
那... 我把酒留这儿 你可以自己庆祝下
Well, I'll just leave the bottle so you can celebrate by yourself.
我靠啊
God damn it.
苏格兰威士忌 杜松子酒 兰姆酒
Connie Ethel什么时候来大姨妈?
Connie, when does Ethel start her period?
3小时12分钟22秒后 问这干嘛?
In 3 hours, 12 minutes and 22 seconds. Why?
龙舌兰酒
你还好吗? - 走开
Are you okay? - Go away.
听着 我不该对你那么刻薄
Look, I shouldn't have been so hard on you.
我知道多了我这么个同事很烦人
I know it must be tough having a new ranger like me around.
我愿意不计前嫌化敌为友
I'm willing to forgive and forget.
要不再拥抱下?
How'bout another hug?
知道吗? 我觉得还可以抱得更好
You know what? I want to get this hug just right.
Steve 这样很傻... - 抱我 臭女人
Steve, you're being silly... - Hug me, bitch!
敬脆莓
To Brickleberry.
我特么在哪啊?
Where the hell am I?
松饼屋怎么还特么没到? 口臭男
Where the [bleep]'s that waffle house, shit-breath?
Ethel?
Ethel?
嘿 姐为了炸薯饼 宁可揍扁小屁孩的脸
Hey, I'd kick a baby in his face for some hash browns.