脆莓公园（2012）

What was that?
是黑烟怪
It's the smoke monster.
其实他们更愿意被称作"非裔美国人"
You know, they really prefer to be called African-American.
rise也有勃起之意
被告请起立
Will the defendant please rise?
起来了 亲
Done, baby!
好过瘾
right there.
爽呆了 我成功打入了法官大人的内庭
Yeah baby, I'm all up in the Judge's chamber!
对啦 哥就喜欢这样玩... - 我就知道你喜欢
Oh, yeah, that's how I like it... - I know you do!
没事 是我啦
It's okay, it's me.
我知道是你 所以我才惊叫啊
I know it's you, that's why I'm screaming!
我跟Connie一起的时间里 我发现我爱的是你的文采
All this time I spent with Connie, it was your words I fell in love with.
什么情况? - 给我电♥话♥哟 爱人
What's going on here? - Call me, lover.
Denzel 你怎么能这样? - 我怎么能? 是她强♥奸♥我好吧
Denzel, how could you? - How could I? She raped me!
骗子
Liar!
她是世界上唯一一个喜欢我的人 你却把一切给毁了
She was the one person in the world that liked me, and you ruined it!
我再也不要见到你
I never want to see you again!
Connie 听我讲道理嘛
Connie, listen to reason.
至少让我翻个面 我那玩意儿快被蹭没了
At least flip me over, you're road-rashing my dong!
都吃掉哦 妈妈的小宝贝们
Eat up, my little babies.
你们要长得壮壮的 才好重新繁衍
You need to grow big and strong to re-populate the species,
因为虽然你们现在是兄妹
because even though you're brother and sister today,
但我把你们逼为夫妻的那一天 总会到来的
the day will come when I will force you to be husband and wife.
没什么难为情的 - 必须没有啊
No shame in that. - No shame in that at all.
喂 领主 我们快饿死了
Hey, leader! Uh, we're starving!
是哦 这是最后的苹果了
Yeah, and this here's the last apple.
苹果味太浓了
Ugh! Too applely.
养活我们是你的职责所在 傻X国王
It's your job to feed us, King dickhead.
是啊 傻X国王 快给吃的
Yeah, King dickhead! Feed us!
等一下 现在头领还是我?
Wait, am I still the leader?
我建议咱们吃了他
I say we eat him.
他看起来肥嫩多汁 就像个感恩节大鸡一样
He looks plump and juicy, like a Thanksgiving rooster!
嘿嘿 别急 大家伙
Hey, hey! Hold on, fellas.
食人非法 而且也不道德
Cannibalism is illegal and immoral.
不过话说回来 史蒂夫王国本就不讲规矩
But, on the other hand, there are no rules in Steveland.
大伙不要慌 我有个点子
No one panic. I have an idea.
我们乘皮划艇去文明世界 搞点食物回来
We'll just take the rowboat to civilization, and get some food.
Steve 你个傻子 皮划艇早被你劈了
Steve, you idiot. You chopped up the rowboat.
没关系 我还有个点子
Okay, I have another idea.
你可别扯什么时光机
It better not involve a time machine.
还有第三个点子
I have a third idea!
搞毛啊? 没门
What? No!
你怎么忍♥心吃我的小鸟
You can't eat my birds!
不是 你误会我意思了
No, you misunderstood me.
我不会吃你的小鸟啦 我是喂它们...
I'm not gonna eat your birds, I'm gonna feed your birds...
给大伙
To people.
死了也别想 它们是我的孩子
There's no way in hell! These are my babies!
别扯了好不
Oh, come on!
好像领养孩子真是自己孩子似的
That's like saying adopted kids are people's babies.
他们不过是人们领回家用来猥亵的流浪娃
They're just homeless children people raise to have sex with.
快别叨叨了 赶紧拔毛开奸吧
Enough yip-yap, time to pluck 'em and [Bleep] 'em.
我是说... 开吃
Uh, I-I mean, eat 'em.
Denzel 我俩命定要在一起的
Denzel, we're meant to be together.
我们是灵魂伴侣
We're soul mates!
听着 姑娘 咱俩没戏的
Look, girl, we ain't happening.
不过跟拉拉乱搞真的蛮酷
Although it is pretty cool I flipped a lesbian.
Trudy 他不是你想的那种尤物 他打女人
Trudy, he's not that much of a catch. He hits women.
胡扯 我哪有?!
What? I would never!
Connie 真是乱...
Connie, that's messed...
别惹我...
Don't make me...
别以为拿你没招
See how you like it.
干
Damn.
话说 Steve小命暂保哈?
So, Steve came through, huh?
嘿 我有个主意 要不咱们今天克制下冲动
Hey, here's a thought, what if we didn't give in to our impulses today,
等这俩鸟下了蛋再吃?
and waited until these birds had eggs?
这样咱就不会断粮了
Then we'd never run out of food.
你们对 你们对 濒危鸟啥的常年都有的吃的
You're right, you're right, there will always be endangered birds to eat.
一个物种之所以灭绝
An entire species wiped out,
就因为Steve太怂 谁都不敢反抗
just because Steve is too much of a pussy to stand up to anyone.
当初我真该救Woody一命的
Maybe I should have saved Woody's life.
Woody? 他没死啊
Woody? He's not dead.
那家伙在岛另一边抽风呢
He's on the other side of the island going crazy,
像汤姆•汉克斯那部电影似的 -《荒岛余生》?
like Tom Hanks in that movie. - Cast away?
不是 就他觉得朱莉娅•罗伯茨很惹火的那部
No, the one where he thinks Julia Roberts is attractive.
我是不是恶搞了《查理•威尔逊的战争》一把?
Did I just do a Charlie Wilson's war joke?
猜对了 搞的就是它
You're goddamn right I did!
Woody?
Woody?
Woody早就挂了
Woody is dead.
私语者叫我 酱酱脸少尉
The whispers have named me Second Lieutenant Leakycheeks!
我去 你可比松鼠屎还诡异
Whoa. You are nuttier than squirrel shit.
哥从没这么快活过
I have never felt more alive.
酱酱脸
Leakycheeks!
五体投地跪谢... 私语者
All thanks to the whispers.
无需多礼 去拿脑袋撞树
You're welcome. Now head-butt that tree.
遵命 - 你这是干嘛啊?
All right. - Why did you do that?
美国喜剧演员
涂花生酱的Jim Belushi咯
Peanut butter with Jim Belushi.
好吧 我找你有事 神经病 我们想让你回来
Okay. Here's the thing, psycho. We need you back.
Steve掌管大权 可情况一团糟
Steve has taken charge, and everything's a mess.
他们要吃我的小鹰 - 中国狼人咯
They're gonna eat my eagles. - Chinese werewolves!
你不是认真的吧 你以前不是很爱滥用职权嘛
Oh, you can't be serious, you used to love abusing power!
我已经找到真爱了 真爱 我被真爱包围啊
I have found love. Whee! Love, I'm surrounded by love!
我有蟹蟹先生 还有小石石
I got Mr. Crabby and Rock-Rock.
还有私语者 我爱你 私语者
And the whispers. I love you, whispers!
少扯淡 揪自己头发
Screw you. Pull your hair out.
这里爽翻了
I'm happy here.
好 再见 脸中尉 要是看见Woody 帮我转告生日快乐
Fine. Good-bye, Lieutenant Cheeks. If you see Woody, tell him Happy Birthday.
得啦 用不着再给Woody拍这种马屁了
Aw, you don't have to say that shit to Woody anymore.
他的暴君生涯已经结束了
His tyrant days are over.
我又不是被迫说的 我真心祝福他才这样说
I'm not saying it because I have to, I'm saying it because I want to.
没错 他是个冷酷至极 不顾人情的种族主义白♥痴♥
Yes, he was a cruel, inconsiderate, racist ass wipe.
但内心里 我一直把他看做...
But deep down, I considered him to be...
还没卑鄙到极致的屎货
Almost not a complete lowlife piece of shit.
这是别人对我说过最友善的话了
Wow. That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
我知道你怎么想 Woody
I know what you're thinking, Woody.
不要回去
Don't do it.
没用的 私语者 我天生是领袖
It's no use, whispers! I'm a born leader!
领袖就要拯救他那些烦人 政♥治♥正确 又假仁假义的臣民
And born leaders help their annoying, P.C., holier-than-thou co-workers.
Woody 别犯傻
Woody, come on.
忘了上回印度佬烧了你的蛋蛋
Indian burn your ball sack one last time.
别回去啊
Don't go.
真是的 好景易逝
Well, it was fun while it lasted.
我们要吃鹰
We want eagle!
我们要吃鹰
We want eagle!
我们要吃鹰
We want eagle!
本名Possumcods
力气都拿出来 Possum大人
Do what you do best, Mr. Possum-Gods!
嘿 谁敢动这俩鸟一条毛
Hey! No one touches those birds.
Woody? 你还活着
Woody? You're alive!
让位 Steve 老子要上场了
Back down, Steve. I'm running the show now.
遵命 老大
Yes, Sir!
先别着急 Steve是我们的首领
Now, just one minute. Steve is our leader.
我们想继续被他管 因为他啥都由着我们
And we like it that way because, well, we can walk all over him.
就是 我们要Steve
Yeah, we want Steve!
算了 大伙 没事的
Really guys, it's... it's fine.
算你大气 但是谁想抢老大的宝座 大伙都懂的
Well, that's great, but if anyone wants to challenge the leader, we all know...
他俩必须决一死战
They must fight to the death!
你从哪听来的?
Where are you getting that?
你自己写在《史蒂夫王国宪♥章♥》里的
You wrote it in the Steveland constitution.
该死 - Woody 干掉他
Damn it! - Woody, kill.
正合我意 私语者
Sounds good to me, whispers!
打 打 打 打 打 打 打
Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight...