脆莓公园（2012）

脆莓公园十周年纪念洗版

拥有着自♥由♥和正义
With liberty and justice for all.
我真是三生有幸生活在这个国度
I am so grateful to be living in this fine country.
我也是 为奴隶制感谢上帝
Me too. Thank God for slavery.
别吃心 我现在嗨起来了
Don't mind me. I'm high as shit right now.
对Denzel做毒检
Drug test Denzel.
好了 正如各位所知
Okay, as y'all know,
今年 脆莓将有幸承办林警系统年度舞会
this year Brickleberry is proud to host the annual park service ranger ball.
我个人打算大醉一场
Well, I, for one, am looking forward to getting wasted
和一帮不同种族和性别的伴侣搞搞匿名性♥爱♥
and having anonymous sex with multiple partners of various races and genders.
对Ethel做毒检
Drug test Ethel.
希望我也能这么幸运
I hope I get lucky too.
我要带个朋友去约会 祈祷吧
I'm bringing a friend to be my date, so fingers crossed.
朋友的意思是妓♥女♥
By friend, he means hooker,
女性平躺假死 男性半跪做♥爱♥ 由恋尸癖发源而来
约会的意思是在铁路边搞浅坟体♥位♥
and, by date, he means shallow grave by the rail road.
真高兴每个人都能找到乐子
I'm glad everyone's gonna have fun.
我可能只会在汤碗旁边呆上一晚
I'll probably just spend the whole night by the punch bowl.
自己
By myself.
一人
Alone.
又一次
Again.
你不来打搅我们找乐子真贴心
That's sweet of you not to spoil our fun.
我都等不及了
I can't wait.
我要去挑一个女林警
I'll have my pick of the female rangers.
有时我不禁想你大象宝宝个头的脑袋有什么毛病
Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that baby elephant head of yours.
别嫉妒 Ethel
Don't be jealous, Ethel.
大家都知道我是这里最酷最帅的林警了
Everyone knows I'm the coolest and best-looking Park Ranger around.
咋了?
What?
又有人在我脸上画小鸡鸡了?
Did someone draw a dick on my face again?

脆莓公园
她脱下了纸尿裤 知道吧?
She takes out a diaper, right?
我就说 不行 我还没准备好呢
And I said, "not yet. I ain't ready for you yet".
他来了 - 早 伙计们
He's right there. - Hi, guys.
之前的事 如果你们守口如瓶 那我太...
Listen, about earlier, I'd appreciate it if we could just...
Steve 如果因为那么蛋疼的事就嘲笑你
Steve, if we teased you about something so obviously painful,
我们还算是什么朋友?
what kind of friends would we be?
谢了 Malloy 我正发愁... - 这是陷阱问题
Thanks, Malloy. I was worried that... - Trick question.
我可不跟秃子交朋友
I'm not friends with bald people.
不
No!
继续 笑大声点 一群没良心的混♥蛋♥
Go ahead. Laugh it up, you heartless bastards.
你们根本不懂谢顶的痛苦
You don't understand what it's like to be bald.
我从成年之后就一直承受着这种困扰
I've been dealing with this problem for most of my adult life.
很残酷 在我某处长毛的那天
Cruelly, the day I gained hair in one area...
别处就开始掉毛了
I lost it in another.
我努力掩藏这难以启齿的耻辱 但时不时都会被发现
I tried to hide my secret shame, but sooner or later I would always be exposed.
孩子们 安静 让我来
Kids, please, allow me.
最残酷的打击在高中舞会那晚
The cruelest blow came on prom night.
Stacy Blanchard答应与我同行
Stacy Blanchard agreed to go with me
只要我帮她做一学期作业
if I did her homework for the semester.
多亏有我 她上了一年高四
Thanks to me, she got to go to high school an extra year.
你今晚艳福大了
You are so getting laid tonight.
我们不是约好了吗?
I thought we had a deal.
是说好了 但协议取消
Uh yeah, the contract was void
因为我得了F 而且你长了一副屌♥样
because I got an "F" and you look like shit.
让我来
Allow me.
孩子们总是那么残忍♥
Kids can be so cruel.
大人也一样 你个秃老亮
So can adults, you bald mother [Bleep].
Steve 没有那么糟糕啦
Oh, Steve, it's not that bad.
美国演员 光头
你就跟Michael Chiklis似的
You kind of got that Michael Chiklis look.
真的? - 真的
Really? - Yeah.
如果他不是又秃又挫 我这就算是夸你了
And if he weren't bald and ugly, that would be a compliment.
我把他坑了
Oh, I got him.
他以为我要说什么好话呢
Oh, he thought I was gonna say something nice.
凭这颗秃头很难理解其中的讽刺意味吧
Must be hard to process sarcasm with that shitty chrome dome.
Ethel 我能理解Woody Denzel和Malloy拿Steve开涮
Ethel, I understand Woody, Denzel, and Malloy teasing Steve,
但你怎么也这样?
but you too?
当然了
Absolutely.
我一直是个关心动物胜过于关心人的家伙
I've always considered myself to be someone
我一直是个关心动物胜过于关心人的家伙
who cares more about animals than people.
去死 你个小混♥蛋♥
Die, you little bastard.
看见了吧 这就是个绝好的例子
See, this is a perfect example.
走吧 小家伙儿
There you go, little fella.
你安全了
You're safe now.
什么状况? - 你刚踩爆一只小猫脑袋
What was that? - You just crushed a kitten's head.
不
Oh, no.
不
Oh, no.
美国演员 魔戒中人类王子
我一直在想着你 Viggo Mortensen
I always have you, Viggo Mortensen.
即使在跟你搞基的春梦里
Even if it's only in my homoerotic dreams.
嘿 Steve 你在干嘛?
Hey, Steve, what are you doing?
没啥
Uh, nothing.
你不会是要走吧 是不?
You're not leaving, are you?
Connie 我倾尽十载年华
Connie, I spent the last ten years here
打造本园中最酷男子的形象
cultivating an image of the coolest guy in the park,
激起了女人和晕了头动物们的欲望
an object of desire for women and confused animals.
但现在我已经暴露了
But now that I've been exposed,
只能再找个地方 重新受到欢迎
I need to find some place I can be popular again.
因此我要去...
That's why I'm headed to...
伤膝河 南达科他州
Wounded Knee, South Dakota.
别了 那太冷了
Nah. Too cold.
就当是纽约费什基尔? [杀鱼]
Make that Fishkill, New York?
Steve 我能理解没吸引力的感觉
Steve, I know how it feels to be unattractive.
这确实很痛苦
It can really hurt.
所以你需要朋友来安慰你
That's why you need friends to make you feel better.
嘿 知道马上要开林警舞会了吧?
Hey, you know that ranger ball coming up?
我们可以一起去
We should go together.
当然了 作为朋友
You know, as friends.
我也能在喝多后给你撸一管
I'll even get drunk and give you a tug job.
不用了 谢了
I'm good, thanks.
Steve 你是个好人
Steve, you're a good person.
只要把心灵打扮得像你期望的外表一样美就好了
You just need to make your inside feel as beautiful as you want your outside to be.
所以你是想说 不管我内心多么龌龊
So what you're saying is make my outside beautiful,
只要把外表打扮漂亮就好了
no matter how ugly I am on the inside.
其实吧 我不是这个意思
Well, that's not really what I was saying.
我想说吧... - 真是个金点子 Connie
What I was saying... - Great advice, Connie.
要不是你天杀的丑 我都想亲你一口了
I'd kiss you if you weren't so goddamn ugly.
挺住啊 小猫咪 就快到兽医那儿了
Hang in there, little kitty. Almost to the vet.
每条生命都弥足珍贵
Every life is precious.
天父在上 亏您开眼
Thank you, Heavenly Father.
唯有您尊贵的圣灵和及时的恩典才让我...
Only by your blessed holy spirit and amazing Grace did I...
耶稣他大爷的基♥督♥啊
Ah, Jesus goddamn Christ!
Denzel政♥府♥盈余设备特卖♥♥场
Denzel's government surplus emporium.
来点啥? 我这儿有饮水机 制♥服♥ 步♥枪♥
What you need? I got water coolers, uniforms, rifles.
人工瀑布都有呢 但你得自己来提那玩意儿
I even got a waterfall. But you got to come pick that shit up.
Denzel 是Ethel
Denzel, it's Ethel.
你不会又在卖♥♥咱家的公物吧 是不是?
You're not selling off all our stuff again, are you?
才不是呢 问个和这无关的事
Hell no. In an unrelated question,
你觉得你的黑款连衫衬裤能卖♥♥多少钱?
how much do you think I can get for your black teddy?
Denzel 别扯了 我刚撞了一头鹿
Denzel, focus. I just hit a deer.
它看上去快不行了
I think it's gonna die.
你得帮那可怜的动物从痛苦中解脱
You got to put that poor animal out of its misery.
我下不去手
I can't do that.
这有悖于我每一根和良知相关的神经
It goes against every fiber of my self-righteous being.
Ethel 我是Malloy 宰了它
Ethel, it's Malloy. Kill it.
你知道我们在说什么吗?
Do you even know what we're talking about?
不知道 也不想知道 宰了就是了
Don't know, don't care, just kill it.
如果那动物在遭罪 相信我 这样做没错的
If the animal's suffering, trust me, it's the right thing to do.
那东西可没质保
Ain't no warranty on that!
太对不起了 小鹿儿
I am so sorry, little doe.
为什么...
Why...
我会如此享受这过程?