脆莓公园（2012）

什么... 奇迹发生了
What the... It's a miracle!
感谢老天
Thanks, Jesus.
什么? 还有松兔宝宝?
Oh! Baby Squabbits?
塞翁失马焉知非福啊
The Lord taketh and then he giveth a shitload.
哈利路亚
Hallelujah!
所以你醒来 发现有六只松兔了
So you woke up and there were six Squabbits?
而这一切都因Malloy把第一只劈成两半?
And this all started after Malloy cut the first one in half?
一点不错 - Malloy哪去了?
Exactly. - Where's Malloy?
他就像我已故的老婆 在林中某处徘徊
Oh, he's like my dead wife. In the woods somewhere.
它们繁衍太快了 肯定是基因组合发生变异...
What a rapid gestation period. It must be their mutant DNA combin...
给我打住
Shut up!
Ethel是对的
Ethel's right.
你不觉得它们繁衍的速度有些可怕?
Aren't you concerned about how fast they're reproducing?
是啊 你当然护着你女朋友咯
Yeah, of course you agree with your girlfriend.
我才不管呢 松兔越多 游客越多
I'm not concerned at all. More Squabbits, more tourists.
游客越多 创收越多 对吧 Denzel?
Mo tourists, mo money, right, Denzel?
Denzel死哪去了?
Where's Denzel?
好的 想要哪件? 我有"我爱松兔"
All right, which one you want? I got, "I heart Squabbits,"
"皮条松兔" "拉斯特法里派松兔" "对耶稣鱼尿尿的松兔"
"Squabbitude," "Rasta Squabbits," "Squabbit pissin' on a Jesus fish,"
"OX持久战松兔" 你要哪件 我就拿哪件
"Squabbits [Bleep] longer". What you want? I got it.
就要那件白色的吧
Oh, I'll take that one in white.
Denzel
Denzel!
见鬼
Oh, shit!
冷静点 我老板来了
Yo, be cool. It's my boss man.
看 松兔更多了
Look, more Squabbits!
明天得加大游客限流力度了
We're gonna need extra crowd control for tomorrow.
这不错 伙计
Uh, that's cool, man.
我正准备带这些游客去转转...
Yeah, I was just about to give these folks a tour of, um...
那条开不进车的泥巴路呢
That dirt road that's too small for cars.
你是说登山路吗?
You mean the hiking trail?
是啊 航行路 管它叫什么呢
Yeah, the hyper-sail. Whatever.
好吧 回去工作吧
Okay, get back to work then.
别担心 我来处理
Ooh, don't worry. I'll take care of that.
让我算算 T恤衫10刀 手指套5刀
So, let's see, you owe me 10 for the shirt and 5 for the finger.
谁要Woody捧着? 我一个人就能在森林里过活
Who needs Woody? I can make it in the forest.
我可是熊呢
I'm a bear!
Siri 帮我预约一份热石按♥摩♥
Siri, I need to schedule a hot stone massage.
你好啊 小熊哥们儿
Hey there, brother bear.
看上去我发现新朋友啦
Looks like I found myself a new friend.
新记录哦 不到三秒我就开始烦你了
New record. Three seconds,and I already hate you.
天啊 你今天是不是过得不爽?
Gosh, are you having a bad day or something?
熊是不是在森林里拉屎? [显而易见]
Does a bear shit in the woods?
对啊 还用问
Yes, we do.
我一直以为这话只是种表达法而已
I always thought that was just an expression.
希望你们擦屁♥股♥用婴儿浣臀湿巾
I hope to God you guys have baby wipes.
不啊
Uh, no.
那你们就只用干卫生纸咯?
So you just use dry toilet paper?
卫生纸是什么玩意?
Now, what the heck is toilet paper?
你个脏杂种
You are a nasty bastard.
是不是好棒? 我们入园费翻倍 他们居然照付不误
Isn't it great? We're charging double for admission, and they're paying it!
笨蛋衰货啊
Stupid suckers!
Woody 这些松兔快啃光公园里的植被了
Woody, these Squabbits have eaten nearly all the vegetation in the Park.
我们得... - 看看这个
We have to get... - Look at this.
礼品店里能卖♥♥20刀
20 bucks at the gift shop.
我卖♥♥才10刀 - 10刀你就卖♥♥?
Oh, man, I sell those for ten. - Ten?
单一种群过量繁殖是个问题 Woody
Overpopulation of one species is a problem, Woody.
女性穿紧身裤时显出的阴♥部♥形状
是是我知道 你"骆驼趾"也是个问题
Yeah, I know. So is your camel toe.
站在我身边的是松兔创造者Woody Johnson
I'm standing here with Woody Johnson, creator of the Squabbit.
在我看来 松兔永远都不嫌多
As far as I'm concerned, there can never be too many Squabbits.
而且我想和你OX 马上的 现场直播
And I'd like you to make love to me, right now, on the air.
没问题啊
Well, all right.
怎么...
Oh! What the...
你是地球上最聪明的人
You are the smartest man on Earth.
这是三百万美刀钢蹦儿
Here's $3 million in pennies.
再发你个诺贝尔奖
And a Nobel Prize.
爷就知道 爷最棒 看见没 Malloy?
I know. I'm great! See, Malloy?
之前我就是对的 你是错的 承认吧
I was right, you were wrong. Admit it.
我没事啊
Uh! I'm okay.
又做了个春梦而已
It was just another wet dream.
听好了
Listen up.
松兔实在是太特么多了
We've got too many goddamn Squabbits!
观光客连门都挤不进来
The tourists can't even get in the gates.
日你大爷 Steve 都是你的蠢主意
Damn you, Steve, this was all your stupid idea!
谢谢啊 总算承认我的一点功劳了
Thank you. It's about time I got a little credit.
我要宣布 松兔狩猎季开始
I am declaring open season on Squabbits!
我要全州每个偷猎者都到这儿来射杀 捅死 辗过 砍头
I want every poacher in the state here to shoot, stab, run over, decapitate,
吃掉 拳打脚踢这些小杂种
eat, kick, or fist those little bastards.
或者迁移它们就好
Or we could just relocate them.
没错 我们把它们迁移...
We're gonna relocate 'em, all right.
下地狱
To hell!
大家都拿点弹♥药♥ 打发它们的时间到了
Everybody grab some ammo. It's killing time!
打发时间我最在行了
Pssh, I'm great at killing time.
不行 你不能宰了他们就算完 - 是啊 Woody
No, you can't just kill them. - Yeah, Woody.
你们说话就像嗑了药的自♥由♥党婆娘
Spoken like a couple of dopey liberal broads.
我都不知道你们对领导是...一颗红心 还是一片红月经
I don't know what bleeds more...Your hearts or your parts.
我们得阻止这个神经病
We have to stop that maniac.
怎么阻止呢? 他杀戮的时候最不喜欢有人打扰了
How? He doesn't like to be bothered during killing time.
人贱组织: 人比动物贱 (恶搞极端动物保护团体PETA)
你确定这是个好主意?
Are you sure that's a good idea?
我是说 是你想出来的 所以... 肯定是好主意
I mean, it's your idea, so it...It's gotta be good.
你好美 - 哪跟哪啊?
You're pretty. - What?
我想拿你的屁♥股♥当假胡须戴
I want to wear your ass like a fake beard.
啥? - 没啥
What? - Uh, nothing.
谁准备好吃晚饭啦?
Who's ready for dinner?
不是吧 今晚有蜂蜜吃
No way! Honey!
同胞们 我对蜜蜂过敏 而且没带过敏注射器
Guys, I'm allergic to bees, and I didn't bring my Epi-pen.
甜兮兮要进熊肚肚啦
Yummy to my bear tummy!
你们晚饭就吃蜂蜜?
You're having honey for dinner?
这特么只是调味品好吧
It's a goddamn condiment!
这帮家伙还真难杀光
Wow, these things are hard to kill.
我们走着瞧吧
We'll see about that.
以PITA的名义给我住手 - 好么 PITA也来了
Stop in the name of pita! - Oh, great, pita.
素食者 | 人贱 | 素菜比肉强
善待动物组织"PETA"? - 不是 是"人贱组织"
Peta? - No, pita with an "I."
完全不是同一个组织的
It's a completely different organization.
不知道你们听说了啥 但我们一只松兔也没伤害
I don't know what you heard, but we haven't harmed a single Squabbit.
干嘛 你们喜欢这身?
What, you like the duds?
单品也是批发价哦亲
I'll give you a good deal on one.
我就知道 你们再敢伤害一只松兔试试看
I knew it! We forbid you from harming one more Squabbit!
谁会敢阻止我们?
And who's gonna stop us?
你跟一帮好管闲事的"人贱"来的贱♥人♥们吗?
You and a bunch of picketing pita pussies?
开始松兔风暴
Commence operation... Squabbit Storm.
你们齐备陆海空三军?
You have a whole army?
你以为我们的钱会花到哪儿?
What do you think we spend our money on?
饥荒儿童吗? 那就是浪费
Starving children? That would be a waste.
听着 大家冷静点
Now, just stay cool.
这里没人会再伤害任何动物了
Nobody's gonna hurt any animals here.
只是个小强嘛
It was just a cockroach.
不要啊
No!
等一下 这家伙是哪位?
Wait. Who the hell was that guy?
你们对动物王国犯下了滔天大罪 唯有一死以偿
You have sinned against the animal kingdom, an act punishable by death.
我们是林警 我们在公园做的事都是为了动物的安全着想
We're Park rangers. Everything we do at this Park is to keep animals safe.
对 弄死他 咬这个死松兔子
Yeah! Get him! Bite that mother[Bleep]!
我赢啦 把老子的钱拿来
I won! Give me my goddamn money.
吃着还可以 这是啥?
This isn't that bad. What is this?
海狸的屁♥股♥咯
A beaver's asshole.
还有比这苦逼的么
This is a low point.
谢谢了 你救我一命 不知道拿什么偿还...
Wow, thank you. You saved my life. I do not know how I could repa...
稍等
Hold on.
老天爷啊 我想你 加个伤心表情
O-m-f-g. I miss u. Emoticon sad face.
我再也不要打滚儿笑话你了