脆莓公园（2012）

脆莓公园十周年纪念洗版

美洲土著新闻 您的保留地内外消息来源
Native American news, your source for news on and off the reservation.
美洲土著新闻
诸位好 坏消息
How. Bad news today.
赌场利润下滑 酒类价格升高
Casino profits down. Liquor prices up.
土著人粗蛮无礼的刻板形象居高不下
Offensive Native American stereotypes at all-time high.
来看看天气 - 好像是晴
Now for weather. - Look like sun.
转阵雨
Make that rain.
想听听好消息? 看一下白人记者
Now, for feel good news, go to paleface reporter.
可爱动物诞生
你好 酋长 带来黄石国家公园现场报道
How, Chief. I'm live here at Yellowstone National Park,
一头罕见的白野牛今早在公园诞生
where a rare white buffalo was born this morning.
游客为一睹可爱动物风采纷纷涌入公园
Tourists are pouring in to see the adorable animal.
这也从另一个侧面印证了黄石...
This is just another example of why Yellowstone
作为最佳国家公园的魅力
is our country's greatest National Park.
狗兔崽子
Son of a bitch!
去他的 该死的科技
Hell yeah! [Bleep] Technology!

脆莓公园
黄...石... 黄...石...
Yellowstone! Yellowstone!
他们有可爱动物
They've got a cute animal.
他们园里这月没死25个露营者
They didn't have 25 campers die in their Park this month.
用不着担心黄石公园
We shouldn't worry about Yellowstone.
只要改善 我们也能好起来
We could just make some improvements.
从你开始
Here's one.
咱们受够一直屈居在狗屁黄石之下了
We are done playing second fiddle to that bastard Yellowstone!
Malloy 只要穿上这套小生日礼物
Aw, Malloy, if you'd only wear your little birthday present,
游客也会蜂拥而至来看你的
I'll bet tourists would flock to see you too.
我肯定你是为了看我紧俏屁♥股♥才让我穿 你个恶心的变♥态♥
I bet you'd like to see my tight ass in that, you creepy pervert.
好吧 知道咱接下来要干嘛吗?
Fine. Do you know what we're gonna do?
淹死个流浪汉?
Drown a homeless man?
不是 咱要找到比他们那个劣质白牛更可爱的玩意儿
No, we're gonna find something even more adorable than their shitty white buffalo.
我们不能为了盈利就滥用动物资源 别像黄石那样
We shouldn't exploit animals for monetary gain just because Yellowstone is.
我支持Ethel
I agree with Ethel.
谁能给我找个动物 让那些傻游客难以抗拒?
So, who's gonna find me an animal these dopey tourists can't resist?
我不行 我讨厌动物
Not me. I hate animals.
平心而论 多数动物也讨厌黑人
To be fair, most animals hate black people.
还有墨西哥人
And Mexicans.
我志愿去找最可爱的动物
Ooh, I would like to volunteer to find the cutest animal ever.
靠 还有别人么?
Shit. Anybody else?
还有么?
Anybody?
好吧 Steve 别给我搞砸了
Okay, Steve, just don't screw it up.
记得上次你志愿去养老院吗?
Remember when you "volunteered" at the retirement home?
动物疗法 山狮
Woody走着瞧吧
I'll show Woody.
找只可爱动物还能有多难?
How hard could it be to find a cute animal?
我来看看
Let's see.
太难看 太肥 太非主流
Ugly, fat, too ethnic.
找到了
Bingo.
打扰一下 朋友们
Excuse me, folks.
公园官方事务
Official Park business.
给我过来 捣蛋鬼
Come here, you rascal.
不好意思 不好意思 对不住 对不住
Excuse me, excuse me. Sorry, sorry.
抱歉 抱歉 - 离我远点
Sorry, sorry. - Oh! Get away from me!
不好意思 这就抓住了
Sorry. Almost got it.
抓住了 真走运 它卡到你内♥裤♥里了
Got it. Luckily, it got caught in your panties.
祝你们玩得愉快咯
You folks have a nice day.
Woody保准会爱上你的
Woody is going to love you.
这可真是史上最可爱的动物了
This is the most adorable animal ever.
瞧瞧你啊
Aw, look at you.
天啊 你还真是可爱
Oh, my God, you are cute!
哪个更可爱呢? 说不好啊
Which is cuter? I don't know.
游客们喜欢松鼠
The tourists loved the squirrel.
那个登山的 愿她安息 喜欢兔子
The hiker, God rest her soul, loved the rabbit.
两者兼备就好了 可怎么做到呢?
If only I could have both. But how?
有了 你俩XXOO一下就好了
That's it! You guys just need to [Bleep] each other.
好了 前戏做得够足了
Okay, enough foreplay.
好的 就这样 再加把劲
Yes! Work it! Get in balls deep!
用力 加油
Pound it! Pump it!
好了 大伙 听好了 我要宣布一件重要的事情
All right, everybody, listen up. I have an important announcement.
我拿到你们眼前的这个箱子 装着本星球最可爱的动物
This box I hold before you contains the cutest animal on the planet.
它半松鼠 半兔子
It's half squirrel, half rabbit.
我命名它为 松兔
I call it the Squabbit.
老天爷啊 老天爷啊 老天爷啊
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!
太可爱了 我眼睛都移不开了
So cute, I can't take my eyes off him.
你们见过比这还可爱的动物吗?
Have you ever seen a cuter animal?
瞧瞧它呀 真想搂着睡觉
Look at that. Oh, I just want to cuddle him.
乡村音乐创作歌♥手
哪有那么可爱 一对儿Taylor Swift的大板牙
It's not that cute. It's got those Taylor Swift teeth.
你是怎么让松鼠和兔子交♥配♥的?
How did you get a squirrel and a rabbit to mate?
就像你和别人上♥床♥一样 我把松鼠打扮成了婊♥子♥
The same way you get laid. I dressed the squirrel up like a whore.
中枪了吧 - 闭嘴吧 Denzel
Dumb ass ho! - Shut your mouth, Denzel.
听着 整件事严重走偏了 Steve
Listen, this whole thing seems very wrong, Steve.
她说的有道理 这不自然
She's got a point. It's not natural.
就像是畸形人或者别的什么
It's like a freak of nature or something.
算了 这吐槽太手到擒来了
Nah, that one's too easy.
Woody 我知道你在想什么
Woody, now I know what you're thinking,
但拜托别让这个可怜的动物去表演节目
but please don't make a spectacle of this poor animal.
我绝不会那样做
I would never do that.
地球上最可爱的动物
欢迎来脆莓
都4000万点击量了
Wow, 40 million views.
松兔不愧是我想过的最好的点子
The Squabbit is the best idea I've ever had.
那个 其实吧 这点子是我想出来的
Well, actually, I kind of had the idea.
拜托 Steve 这世上有种东西叫谦虚
Oh, come on, Steve. There's this new thing called modesty.
有时你真的很缺它
You should try it sometime.
听着 我懂的
Look, I get it.
你想在松兔这事上分一杯羹 我特地给你留了点惊喜
You want to be a part of team Squabbit, well, I've got a special job for you.
去拣松兔屎 它拉的到处都是 床底下也检查一下
Picking up Squabbit shit. Oh, it's everywhere. Check under the bed.
有些是我拉的 但大部分都是它拉的
Some of it's mine, but most of it's his.
嘿 小朋友 想玩游戏不? 给 拿Malloy的去玩
Hey, fella, who likes video games? Here, you can have Malloy's.
得把我们的新宠伺候得开开心心的
Gotta keep our new star happy and entertained.
你天杀的在搞什么玩意?
What's that F.U. To God doing here?
谁? 他住这里了
Who? Oh! He lives here.
那你自己看着办吧
Well, now you have a choice to make,
我可不会跟那玩意睡在一个屋檐下
because I'm not gonna sleep under the same roof as that thing.
Denzel 你在搞什么飞机?
Denzel, what the hell are you doing?
我印了些松兔周边商品赚点外快嘛
I printed some Squabbit merchandise to make some extra money.
你不能卖♥♥那些玩意
You can't sell that stuff!
松兔是脆莓国家公园的独家产权
The Squabbit is the sole property of Brickleberry National Park.
怎么 你要付儿童抚养费还是怎样?
What, you got child support payments or something?
伙计 干嘛歧视我?
Man, that's racist.
事实上 我攒钱是为了买♥♥交响音乐会的票
As a matter of fact, I've been saving up for tickets to the symphony.
此话当真? - 我跟你扯淡的
Really? - Nah, I'm just messing with you.
我要付儿童抚养费
I got child support payments.
过来
Psst! Come here.
我才是这儿的宝贝疙瘩
I'm the cute guy here.
我了个... 这回合算你赢 死松兔
What the... You won this round, Squabbit.
看你还能熬过"烤土豆"档不成?
Let's see how you handle "baked potato."
咋回事嘛 Woody的仓鼠都没抗过这档
I don't get it. This worked on Woody's hamster.
为毛你就是不死?
Why won't you die?
得来全不费工夫
Huh. It was that easy.
我的小松兔 你怎么它了?
My Squabbit! What did you do?
你杀了我的松兔
You killed my Squabbit!
我刚才不是有意出手的
I did not mean to kill him that time.
滚出我的视线 我就当你死了 熊崽子
Get out of my sight! You're dead to me, bear cub!
滚出去
Get out!
天呐
Oh, God.
我的宝贝松兔
My little Squabbit.
为什么?
Why?
为什么要这样?!
Why!?
回答我 老天爷
Answer me, God!
为什么?
Why?
为什么要让无辜的松兔遭此噩运?
Why do bad things happen to good Squabbits?