脆莓公园（2012）

我的天啊 你是真心欣赏我啊
Oh, my God. You must really like me.
接着好好干 你就出人头地了
Keep this up, and you will be a made man.
真的? 这比当卧底还酷啊... 不是说我是卧底啦
Really? That's even cooler than being an undercover cop... Not that I am one.
话说回来 同志们需要点啥? 为你们我在所不惜
Now, what do you comrades need? Nothing is too good for you.
我们都是草民 哪有什么要求
Aw, we're simple men. We don't need much.
Steve 这当卧底还真有意思
Steve, this undercover stuff has been fun,
但我有点担心是不是陷太深了
but I'm a little worried we're getting in too deep.
别犯傻了
Don't be ridiculous.
两位先生 按您要求的午餐
Uh, gentlemen, your lunch as requested...
濒危白虎尸裹麦片果
An endangered white tiger carcass full of crunch berries.
我说了把蓝的都给我摘出去
I told you to take out all the blue ones!
Steve 我们其实没做啥警♥察♥该做的事
You know, Steve, we aren't actually doing any police work.
你啥意思?
What do you mean?
我们为了铲除害人的毒品 不惜牺牲了一切
We've sacrificed everything to eliminate the evil scourge that is drugs.
行了 别说了 吸上两口放松下吧
Now, come on, let's do some blow and relax.
医生
Doc.
有没有可能给我再装一对蛋蛋?
Is it possible to reattach a pair of testicles?
没有
No.
有执照的医生只会这样告诉你
That's what a licensed doctor would say.
但你真够幸运 我变♥态♥地痴迷于实验类医学
But lucky for you, I have an unhealthy obsession with experimental medicine.
把你的生殖腺带来 我很乐意给你重装回去
Bring me your gonads, and I'll be happy to reattach them.
钱够多的话 在你脑门上缝鸡鸡都可以
Heck, for the right price, I'd even sew a dick to your forehead.
你好哇 - 你好 艾茜莉亚女士
Hola. - Hi, Madame Ethelia.
我能找到真爱么?
Will I find true love?
你好
Hola.
总汇三明治的新系列产品
下个月的五元特惠三明治什么口味?
What's next month's $5 footlong gonna be?
为什么我胳肢窝总有炸鸡味?
Why do my pits smell like fried chicken?
我现在伸着几根手指头?
How many fingers am I holding up?
机器人什么时候统治地球?
When will the robots take over?
给我停下 - Ethel 拜托
Ah! Stop! - Oh, Ethel, please.
再嚷嚷的话 我的车钥匙绝对找不到了
If you keep screaming, we'll never find my car keys.
Woody 那个大♥麻♥农场比我们想像的要大
Woody, that pot farm is bigger than we thought.
是俄♥罗♥斯♥黑帮在经营
It's run by the Russian Cartel.
我已经潜入了内部组织
I've infiltrated the organization,
他们今晚就要升我的职 让我加入高层
and they're inducting me into their inner circle tonight.
Steve 我真小看你了 有收集到什么证据吗?
Wow, Steve, I'm impressed. Did you gather any evidence?
当然有
Of course I did.
我是Nikolai 我是个坏人
I am Nikolai. I am a bad man.
我种毒草 然后拿去卖♥♥
I grow drugs. Then I sell them.
录音上那是你吧 Steve
That's you on the tape, Steve.
肯定啊 这叫场景重现
Duh, it's a reenactment.
我才不要带录音机去过去呢 他们会宰了我的
I wasn't gonna take a recorder in there. They'd kill me.
好吧 恭喜你了 Steve
Well, congratulations, Steve.
你就是地球历史上最傻X的王八蛋了
You're the stupidest son of a bitch in the history of Earth.
老子才不要受你的气
I don't have to take this.
老子回黑帮去好好做人了
I'm going back to the cartel for good.
他们尊重我 还觉得我是天才
They respect me and think I'm a genius!
喂 天才兄 你进的是茅坑好吧
Hey, genius. You just walked into the shitter.
Steve 知道Woody把我蛋蛋藏哪儿了? 我到处都没找着
Steve, do you know where Woody hid my balls, I can't find them anywhere?
蛋蛋? 什么蛋蛋? 我才没拿什么蛋蛋呢
Balls? What balls? I didn't take any balls.
我又没说你拿 但我得说衣服不错 看着真俏
I didn't say you took them. But I will say nice outfit. Looks snazzy.
我刚才说"俏"了? 好吧 我想去死
Did I just say snazzy? Okay. I wanna die.
走吧 Denzel 我们回去干活
Come on, Denzel. Let's get back to work.
Steve 我不走了 你也该留下
Steve, I'm staying here. You should too.
我们晕了头了 老兄 那个不靠谱啊
We're in over our heads, man. It's not safe.
真不敢相信你要放弃了
I can't believe you're giving up.
你真丢你那个姓的脸
You are a disgrace to your family name.
Jackson这姓? 我肯定不是我给这个姓丢脸的
Jackson? I'm pretty sure I'm not the one who disgraced that name.
怎么啦 马里奥?
What is matter, Mario?
要入会了 你不激动吗?
Aren't you excited about initiation?
我那傻蛋老板...
Eh, my stupid boss...
叫Woody 他不是我老板 因为我不是个林警
Er, Woody, who is not my boss because I'm not a Park Ranger.
我是贩毒经理 咱是不是这个称呼法?
I'm a drug manager. Is that what we're called?
这个叫Woody的 对你不敬?
This Woody, he disrespected you?
我来教训他 - 多谢了
I will take care of it. - Thank you.
不说"祝你健康"吗 妈妈?
No "gesundheit," mama?
我们这一家子都是粗人
No one in this family has manners.
我没骗你 Malloy
It's the truth, Malloy.
我不知道你的蛋蛋上哪去了
I don't know what happened to your testes.
老天 我和你一样寝食难安啊
Jeesh, I'm just as upset as you are.
这礼拜挨阉的不是你吧 我才是挨阉的
Oh, have you been castrated this week? Because I have.
你已经没机会冒犯马里奥•兄弟了
You've played Mario Brothers for the last time.
马里奥 让你成为内部成员之前
Mario, before you're accepted into our inner circle,
你必须通过试炼
you need to go through rite of passage.
成啊 做什么?
Sure, what is it?
活吞金鱼? 枪打啤酒? 公开打飞机? 还是啥?
Swallow a goldfish? Shotgun a beer? Jerk off a mall Santa? What?
宰了这家伙 你将终生成为垄断组织成员
Kill this man, and you will be cartel member for life.
最棒的是 这可是你的宿敌
Best part is this is your mortal enemy.
超级马里奥兄弟游戏中的反派
Bowser?
Bowser?
Steve?
Steve?
谁是Steve?
Who is Steve?
我不知道 反正不是我 我肯定
I-I don't know. Not me, that's for sure.
没人敢把马里奥叫Steve
Nobody calls Mario "Steve"!
拜托做掉他吧
Please kill him.
Ethel 你看起来累坏了
Ethel, you look so tired.
怎么了? 是不是有心事?
What, do you got stuff on your mind?
你真该给艾茜莉亚女士打电♥话♥
You should totally call madam Ethelia.
我每日每夜都找她咨♥询♥呢
I talk to her all day and all night.
Connie 如果发现你咨♥询♥的那个灵媒
Connie, what if you found out that the psychic you've been talking to
根本不是什么灵媒
wasn't a real psychic,
而是你某个好心肠好身材的朋友呢
but just a good friend with a really great body?
我想想
Hmm, let's see.
我想我会崩溃到无以复加
I guess I'd be as crushed as I've ever been
可能会在自杀前杀一两个同事吧
and might even kill myself and a few co-workers too.
好吧
Hmm, okay.
如果她预测了... 比如 做了个大预测 但却预测错了
Well, what if she made, like, a huge prediction and, just got it way wrong?
这样你会不会不再相信这些个灵媒了
Would that make you stop believing in psychics?
我想是吧
Yeah, I guess it would.
或许你现在该给她打个电♥话♥
Well, you should call her right now.
Connie 很高兴你打来了 我有个非常非常大的预测要给你
Connie, so glad you called. I have a big, huge prediction for you.
老天 老天 老天 是什么?
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. What is it?
今天早上天色将会变得像深夜一样漆黑
Um... The morning sun will turn black as night.
鸟儿们将从天空中坠落
All the birds will fall from the sky.
还有 鲜血将会从...
Uh, also, blood will flow from...
你的前额 呃...
Your head and, uh...
还有你的左脚踝涌出
Your left, um cankle.
不 不要伤我的脚踝
Oh, no, not my cankle.
但愿大家都没事 我是不是该做点什么?
I hope everyone's okay. Should I do something?
不 不 Denzel 别落得和你爹一个下场
No. No, Denzel. Don't wanna end up like your daddy.
我明白了 你不想跟你老爹一样下场
Oh, I see. You don't wanna end up like the old man,
变成花肥 在泥巴汤里腐烂 - 不 伙计 我只是...
pushin' up petals, discoing with dirt? - No, pops, I was just...
怎么了 小子? 碰到麻烦就成怂包了
What's up, boy? You all 'fraidy like a house cat?
是 是 我就是个怂包还不行吗?
Yes, yes! I'm 'fraidy, okay?
因为我不想落得和你一样 老爸
Because I don't wanna die like you, pops.
这样和你说吧 孩子
Let me tell you something, son.
虽然我被街角阿飞杀掉了 但你知道不?
Them corner boys may have iced me, but you know what?
至少我是昂首挺胸 做我该做的事情
At least I went out doing the right thing with my head held high.
搏斗 奔跑 哭泣 奋斗 祈祷 蹒跚 诅咒 抱怨
Slammin', blammin', whammin', jammin', prammin', crammin', dammin', lammin'.
你能坦诚面对自己吗?
Can you honestly say that about yourself?
我没法面对自己 因为我根本不知道你在说什么鬼东西
I can't say that at all because I don't know what the [Bleep] you saying.
Steve 拜托
Steve, please.
别杀我
Don't kill me.
我不该说你是世上最大的蠢驴
I'm sorry I called you the stupidest son of a bitch on the planet.
我肯定这世上有不少比你更蠢的蠢驴
I'm sure there are plenty of assholes dumber than you are!
Steve 如果你杀了我 看我不解雇你
Steve, if you kill me, I'll fire you!
开枪吧 马里奥 你还在等什么?
Come on, Mario. What are you waiting for?
宰了他
Kill him!
很抱歉 这个人是对的
I'm sorry. That man's right.
我就是Steve
My name is Steve.