脆莓公园（2012）

脆莓公园十周年纪念洗版

要赶不上了
I'm late!
LESB-O's麦片 (谐音女同): 味道超赞 让你连包装都不想放过
刚好
Right on time.
看那火♥辣♥的小屁屁
Mmm... feel the burn.

脆莓公园
嘿 Malloy 运动衣真赞 看着就跟紫连衣裙似的
Hey, Malloy, nice jersey. Looks like you're wearing a purple dress.
戴易拉得领带 穿老妈仔裤 还来指点我的品味
Yeah, I'm gonna take fashion critiques from a guy in a clip-on and mom jeans.
这不是我妈的仔裤 她穿不下了 早就归我了
These aren't my mom's jeans, she couldn't fit into them anymore, they're mine.
嘿 Malloy只是为了呼应今天的大赛罢了
Hey, Malloy's just showing his spirit for the big game today.
我都等不及和你一起看了 小伙子
I can't wait to watch it with you, little buddy.
见鬼 我的饼干
Aw, damn it! My cookie.
五秒规则 - 五...
Five second rule! - Five...
食物掉在地上五秒内拾起可食用的规则
我抓不到 - 四...
I can't get it! - Four...
Connie 帮我一把
Connie, help!
天呐 差点就没得吃了
Oh, my God. That was a close one.
多谢了 Connie
Thank you, Connie.
不客气 - 行了 Connie
No problem. - Oh, come on, Connie.
这么谦虚干嘛? 你本是自然界的奇葩
Don't be so modest. You're like a freak of nature.
Steve
Steve!
我们都知道Connie动作笨拙 身形巨大
We all know Connie's a lumbering, hulk-like affront to humanity,
但说出来就不好了
but it's not nice to say it.
这就是为什么我要学手语
That's why I learned sign language.
我这是夸Connie呢 Ethel
I was giving Connie a compliment, Ethel.
是老天赐予她超自然的女同神力
God blessed her with unnatural lesbian strength.
女同? 注意言辞 Steve
Lesbian? Watch your mouth, Steve.
这可不是什么敬辞
That's a hate word.
我看是时候和你们谈谈包容了
I think it's high time I speak to you all about tolerance.
我们应该包容所有人 不管他取向正常 还是同性恋
We should be tolerant of everyone, be they straight, be they gay,
还是今天要来公园集♥会♥的"耶稣恨基佬"教会成员
or the Jesus hates homos church who are having a rally at the Park today.
耶稣恨基佬? 真是无知透顶
Jesus hates homos? They're an ignorant cult.
你看 这就是不包容
Well, that's intolerant.
如果人家说你坏话 你又作何感想?
How would you feel if they said bad things about you?
他们就在说我坏话 我知道因为...
That's all they do! I know because...
我曾是他们中的一员
I used to be a member.
大概在15年前
It was 15 years ago.
我只是常人眼里平淡无奇的小女孩
I was your average, everyday little girl.
我很想做妈妈的开心果
I wanted to please my mother so much.
但她却选择无视我和我的女同欲望 直到最后忍♥无可忍♥
She just ignored me and my hankering for hoo haa untill she couldn't anymore.
爸爸和教会成员制♥造♥了一台"同性恋矫正机"
My father and the church members made a "gay curing" machine.
取名"同性洗♥脑♥仪"
They called it "the homo eradicator."
喜欢他们吗 罪人? 喜欢吗?
You like that, sinner? Do you?
1989年电影
我猜《救命下课铃》里的Slater会让你尖叫
I'll bet Slater from Saved by the Bell would make you Screech.
美国名演员
难道Pat Sajak也不能让你回心转意?
Doesn't Pat Sajak hold your gay back?
美国名演员
现在试试情种Ted Danson
And try romancin' Ted Danson.
看够没? - 没
You had enough? - No.
我想看她们怎么收场的
I wanna see how it ends.
因为治疗失败 爸妈遗弃了我
When it didn't work, my parents disowned me.
他们买♥♥了一条圣伯纳德犬 叫它Connie
They bought a St. Bernard, named it Connie,
还把我从所有家庭合影里P掉了
and photo shopped me out of all the family pictures.
那以后我就没和他们联♥系♥过了
I never spoke to them again.
靠 真是乱套
Man, that's messed up!
想养叫Connie的狗 留着你不就行了?
If they wanted a dog named Connie, they could've just kept you.
闭嘴 痴呆
Shut up, idiot.
Connie 我不知道你经受了这么多坎坷
Connie, I never knew you'd been through so much.
Woody 你不能把那些充满敌意的教♥徒♥们放进来
Woody, you can't have that hate-filled church here.
是啊 是啊 或许我得重新考虑要不要把这些反♥动♥派放进来
Yeah, yeah. Maybe I should reconsider having these hate mongers at our Park.
人家可付过门票钱 - 结了
They paid cash. - Cha ching!
欢迎你们 反♥动♥派们
Welcome, hate mongers!
我们得让这些家伙顺心点
We need to make these people feel comfortable.
是时候把同性恋之风清出公园了 Connie 把这裙子穿上
Time to de-gay the Park! Connie, put on this dress.
天呐 这可不养眼 试试这个
Yow. That's a tough sell. Here.
接下来的24小时 你的身份是一个叫...
For the next 24 hours, you're gonna be a straight guy
Chester Beefbottom的直男
named Chester... Beefbottom.
你不觉得我是怪胎 对吧?
You don't think I'm a freak, do you?
随你怎么说 别再把我塞进裤裆就行
Whatever you say. Just don't stick me in your crotch again.
Connie? 亲爱的 把那东西摘下来
Connie? Oh, Sweetie, take that off.
真不敢相信Woody冷漠到这个份儿上
I cannot believe how insensitive Woody is.
我已经把假胡子拿掉了
I already took off the fake one!
抱歉 - 谢谢你能理解我 Ethel
Ooh! Sorry. - Thanks for understanding, Ethel.
你知道同性恋只是天生的 - 这一点略有争议
You know I didn't choose to be this way. - Well, that's up for debate.
但你真是个非常棒的人
But you are an incredible person.
你可爱体贴 人又美 不管是心灵美 还是...
You're sweet, you're considerate, you're beautiful, inside and...
还是心灵美
Well, inside.
我都不知道你这样看我 - 我当然是这样看你啦 过来抱抱
Oh. I didn't know you felt this way. - Of course I do. Come here.
上吧
Go for it!
Connie... 不要 天呐 恶心死了
Connie... no! Oh, God, gross!
Connie 别走 我不是说恶心 我只是说...
Connie, wait! I didn't mean gross. I just meant...
有点想吐 我只是觉得有点不适
Slightly nauseating. I just feel a little sick.
我很可能不会吐出来哦
I probably won't vomit!
耶稣憎恨同性恋 同性恋不能再多了
同性恋死回老家去 友好睦邻-同性恋除外 别问-去死吧
欢迎来到脆莓 请别拘束
Welcome to Brickleberry. Make yourselves at home.
同性恋标志的七彩旗颜色
哪来的彩虹?
Who put that there?
Woody 这是旅游费的余钱
Woody, here's the remainder of the payment.
付现钞没问题吧 - 现钞?
I hope cash is okay. - Cash?
我爱死现钞了
I love cash!
但比不上我对女人花蕊的爱
But not as much as I love vagina.
你不觉得女人花蕊比男人菊花好得多吗?
Don't you think vagina's much better than a dude's butthole?
我是这么觉得
I do.
咱们这是去哪儿 Connie?
Where are you taking us, Connie?
躲开全世界
Away from everyone.
Woody非要把那些教会傻瓜弄进来 Ethel还觉得我有点恶心
Woody's having that stupid church here, and Ethel thinks I'm slightly nauseating.
岂止有点?
Slightly?
嘿 公园内禁止吸烟 先生
Hey. No smoking in the Park, mister.
这可怎么进去呢?
How am I ever gonna get in here?
他们或许是白♥痴♥ 但他们的银子照样白哗哗
Ooh. They may be ignorant Morons, but their cash is green.
我盘算周末用这笔意外之财打打高尔夫
Think I'm gonna play golf this weekend to celebrate the windfall.
Denzel 你还想开高尔夫球车吗?
Denzel, do you wanna caddy again?
Pez: 一种玩具糖果 如Steve手中所拿
他可没空 我俩有约在先 一起去Pez糖派对
He can't. Denzel and I have plans. We're going to Pez Con!
Pez糖派对? - 一点不错
Pez Con? - Uh, yeah!
我这种Pez糖收集者的盛会
For pez collectors. Like me.
你能再说一遍让我录下来不?
Will you say that again, so I can record it?
哪天我忘了为什么恨你 就有的提醒了
Then I'll have something to play back when I forget why I hate you.
Denzel 你去那破地方干嘛? 你又不像Steve那么傻里傻气
Denzel, why the hell are you going? You're not a dork like Steve.
他和我去是出于兄弟仗义 这情谊千金不换
He's going with me because we're friends. Something money can't buy.
你肯定忘了一件事 Steve 那就是老子想要的 必须得手
You must have forgotten, Steve, that I always get what I want.
Denzel 跟我走 工资翻番 - 翻番? 太棒了
Denzel, I'll pay ya double. - Double? Oh, hell, yeah.
拜托 Denzel 我不能一个人去Pez糖派对
Come on, Denzel. I can't go to Pez Con alone.
那些Pez粉会以为我是个衰货
The pez heads will think I'm a loser!
那些Pez粉会以为我是个衰货
The pez heads will think I'm a loser!
搞定
Got it.
同性恋机智风趣 同性恋讲究干净
Gays are witty. Gays are clean.
他们礼貌谦和 还跳得一手好舞
They are polite, they are good dancers,
穿着得体 拥有非常大的升值空间
snappy dressers, and raise property values.
但请诸位牢记我的话...
But you got to take my word for it...
同性恋者都是罪人
Homosexuals are evil!
谢谢 世上没有比同性恋更让耶稣厌恶的东西...
Thank you. There is nothing that Jesus hates more than a gay...
杀人犯比不上 强♥奸♥犯比不上 就连犹太人都比不上
Not a murderer, not a rapist, not even a Jew.
但耶稣不就是犹太人吗? - 砸死他
But Jesus was a Jew. - Stone him!
放轻松 士兵们 只不过是个林警
At ease, soldiers. Just a Park Ranger.
很抱歉吓到你了 Beefbottom先生
Sorry about that, Mr... Beefbottom.
这是什么地方?
Wow. What is this place?
你正身处最高机密军事研究所
You're inside of a top-secret military research facility.
最高机密? - 没错
Top secret? - Yes!
因此你必须承诺对我们的最高机密进行保密
So you must promise to keep our secret a secret.
拉勾勾
Pinkie swear!
这就够了
Good enough for me.
几十年来 政♥府♥一直都把脆莓公园当挡箭牌