脆莓公园（2012）

脆莓公园十周年纪念洗版

技术支持 有什么能帮您吗?
Technical support. May I help you?
我正在Netflix上看《无敌当家》结果掉线了
Hi, uh, my Internet went out right in the middle of watching Beethoven on Netflix.
我得知道那条狗到底睡没睡着
I need to know if that dog gets put to sleep or not!
那条懒狗啊? 它最有意思了
Oh, the slobbery dog? It is most funny.
我最爱看它从Charles Grodin那里偷鸡腿 然后...
My favorite is when he steals the turkey leg from Charles Grodin, and...
打住 打住 打住
No, no, no, no!
别再剧透了 修好我的网就行了
Please don't ruin it! Just fix my Internet.
那是当然 先生 首先 重启你的猫
Of course, Sir. First, power cycle the modem.
拔掉以太网线和交流电源适配器
Unplug the ethernet cord and the AC adapter.
以太适配器? 啥?
Ether-dapter? What?
我真受不了你这缺根筋的口音
I'm struggling with your stupid accent.
你家美国哪块的?
What part of America are you from?
我叫Mukund 来自印度孟买♥♥ 先生
My name is Mukund. I am from Mumbai, India, Sir.
印度孟卖♥♥ 真是操蛋的外包
Moon pie, India? Goddamn outsourcing!
偷走我们所有的工作 毁了我们的经济
Stealing all our jobs, screwing up our economy.
我的国家这么破烂都是因为你们国家
My country is in the shitter because of your country.
就是因为你们这群强♥奸♥山姆大叔的反美...
This is a bunch of anti-American, Uncle Sam-raping bullsh... Oh.
能上网了
Oh, it's back on.
谢了 孟卖♥♥ 真是谢谢你了
Hey, uh, thanks, Moonpie. Thank you so much.

脆莓公园
早上好 林警们 早上天儿真是太好了
Good morning, rangers. Isn't this a glorious morning?
伙计们 我想热茶 但微波炉上没有门啊
Guys, I'm trying to heat up my tea, but there doesn't seem to be a door.
本来也没有 Woody说门会增加开销
It's never had a door. Woody said doors cost extra.
照样能用啦 只要把刀弄湿塞进锁眼就好了
It still works. You just have to shove a wet knife in the door hole.
这不危险么 - 相当危险的说
Uh, isn't that dangerous? - Oh, very.
又流鼻血了
Another nosebleed.
Connie 你怎么了? - Woody让我去把狼都阉了
Connie! What happened? - Woody made me neuter the wolves,
但他太小气了 都不给买♥♥镇静剂
but he's too cheap to buy tranquilizer darts.
好啦 大伙谁先来?
Okay, who's first?
够了 我们必须做些什么
That's it, we've gotta do something.
必须的 在这贱♥人♥变成狼人之前
Yeah, before this bitch turn into a werewolf.
不是 我说Woody 他为节省预算狠命剥削我们
No, about Woody. He's totally exploiting us just to cut the budget.
我们没医保 没退休金
We have no health insurance, no pension,
并且这个员工休息室是我见过最烂的了
and this is the worst employee break room I have ever seen.
哪个无能是工会代表啊?
What incompetent moron is our Union Rep?
Steve
Steve.
嘿 我可不是无能 再说这休息室哪里烂了?
Hey, I'm not incompetent, and what's so bad about this break room?
他弄折我小♥弟♥弟♥了 冰箱里的山羊弄折我小♥弟♥弟♥了
He broke my dick! That fridge goat broke my dick!
爱熊有同性恋之意
喂? 是爱熊人网站吧 你们的网站被黑了
Yes. Is this bearlover dot net? Well, your website is broken.
我登陆想看萌人小熊
I logged on to see cute bears,
但站上到处都是满身长毛的肥基佬照片
but I just keep seeing pictures of fat, hairy gay guys!
好的 您的姓名 先生 - 等下 Mukund 你也在这里工作?
Okay, and what is your name, Sir? - Wait. Mukund? You work here, too?
是的 先生 我给四家公♥司♥打工 每天工作22小时
Yes, Sir. I work for four companies, 22 hours a day.
每天22小时?! 真是工作狂啊
22 hours a day! What a work ethic.
你生活虽一团糟 但最起码过得像上了膛似的 对吧
Well, your life probably sucks, but at least you're loaded, right?
我没上了膛 这把枪上了
I'm not loaded, but this gun is.
印度教中的神
我来找你了 Ganesh
I am coming to you, Ganesh!
我去 这哥们真搞笑
Man, this guy's hilarious.
喂? 喂?
Hello? Hello?
你不去开门么 - Mukund? Mukund?
You gonna get that? Ugh! - Mukund? Mukund?
Woody 有人在门口拉了坨屎
Woody, somebody left a pile of shit on the doorstep.
Malloy 见到Denzel Ethel和Connie了吗
Malloy, have you seen Denzel, Ethel, and Connie?
这听起来可能很刺耳 他们在秘密集♥会♥打算取代你
This is gonna sting, but they're having a secret Union meeting to replace you.
这一点也不刺耳 听起来挺好的
That didn't sting at all. That felt great.
遇难登山者公墓
taco night: 女多男少的派对
我说 这地方比妹子包围下的Connie内♥裤♥还吓人
Man, this place is scarier than the backside of Connie's panties on taco night.
好吧 我们要什么? 适当的医疗保险 安全的工作环境
Okay, what do we need? Proper health benefits, safer working conditions...
我擦
Ah, shit!
老兄 你吓到我了
Man, you scared me!
果真 你们背地里在想法儿取代我
So it's true! You guys are trying to replace me behind my back.
事实上 Steve
The thing is, Steve,
我们需要领导 但问题是 Woody并不尊重你
we need leadership, and the problem is, Woody doesn't respect you.
Woody并不尊重我? 但你们尊重我 不是吗?
Woody doesn't respect me? But you guys respect me, don't you?
我觉得你是个娘娘腔
I think you're a pussy.
我去反抗Woody 带着你们的要求去找他
I'll stand up to Woody! Let me go to him with your demands.
只求借此一战赢回你们对我的尊重
All I ask is for one more shot to win back your respect.
真不巧啊
Ooh, awkward.
听着 我们12点时要在这个墓地举♥行♥活人祭祀
Uh, listen, we've got the graveyard booked for a human sacrifice at midnight.
你不会恰巧是个处♥女♥吧 是吗?
Uh, you wouldn't happen to be a virgin, would you?
好了 我懂你们的意思 你们是对的 谢谢了
Okay, yeah, I get it. I think you made your point, thank you.
另外谢谢你跟我确认 真是太贴心了
And thank you for double-checking with me. That's so sweet.
你特么想干啥 Steve?
What the hell do you want, Steve?
Woody 正如你所知 我是本园全体林警的代表
Woody, as you know, I'm the representative for the rangers here,
我们要提一些要求
and we have some demands we'd like met.
要求? - 那个 也许是建议
Demands? - Well, maybe suggestions.
建议?
Suggestions?
事实上更像愿望清单
Well, more of a wish list, actually.
好吧 Steve
All right, Steve.
你想要谈判
You want to negotiate?
我就跟你谈判
We'll negotiate.
好消息 大家
Good news, guys.
跟那套蹩脚医保说拜拜吧
We don't have that crappy health insurance anymore.
真的? 那现在是何等医保?
Really? What insurance do we have now?
彻底没了 但这样我们就会更小心了
None, but this way we'll be more careful.
另外 知道我最恨什么吗?
Also, you know what I really hate?
当你干得正带劲 张罗这儿忙活那儿 突然之间...
When you're in your groove, rangering it up, and then boom,
有人跟你说 歇着吧 午休了
you get interrupted by having to take a lunch break.
所以Woody连午休都要取消了
So Woody's gonna get rid of those.
Steve 你真是个贱骨头 你还敢跟谁反抗啊?!
Steve, you're a spineless turd. You can't stand up to anyone.
谁我不敢?
Yes, I can.
给我坐下 - 遵命
Sit your ass down! - Okay.
这太难以接受了 我们也不会再忍♥了
This is unacceptable, and we are not going to put up with this.
不忍♥了? 也许我会找人取代你们
Oh, no? Then maybe I should just replace you.
是啊 好像你能找到比我们更能干的似的
Right, like you could find anyone who would work for less than us.
你这么说可真搞笑 我已经找到了
Funny you should say that. I already did.
你好 我的朋友们 - 你好 我的朋友们
Hello, my friends. - Hello, my friends.
大家万福
Thousand greetings.
他们通过Skype在印度操作 而且一天只收费三刀
They're Skyped in from India, and work for three bucks a day.
除了半岛电视台 还有别的台嘛
Do they get any channels other than Al Jazeera?
这回看你们怎么办
So what's it gonna be?
要么选我和Steve一致同意的A方案
You can "A" take the deal Steve and I agreed to,
要么B方案: 卷铺盖走人
or "B" get the hell out!
岂有此理 他怎么能把巡林工作外包给印度
This is ridiculous. He can't possibly outsource park rangers to India.
我才不买♥♥他的账 - 我和Ethel意见一致
I call his bluff. - I'm with Ethel.
去他的 我意见和Ethel还有阴吹女士一样 我不干了
Hell, yeah! I'm with Ethel and Andre the 'Gina. I quit.
Steve 你和我们一起辞职太让我引以为傲了
Steve, I am so proud of you for quitting with us.
是啊 这真需要些胆量 Steve
Yeah, that took balls, Steve.
好吧 都是一家人 不是吗?
Well, all for one, right?
是啊 我本以为你会把我们卖♥♥了呢
Yeah. I thought you was gonna punk out.
嘿 为啥你盒子里没有东西?
Hey, why don't you have anything in your box?
抱歉 伙计们 我不能辞职 能帮我把这回收了吗?
Sorry, guys, I couldn't quit. Could you recycle this for me?
叛徒 - 我早该知道的
Traitor! - I should've known.
你真该庆幸这道破门挡着我的路 不然踢烂你屁♥股♥
You better be glad this flimsy gate's here, or I'd whoop your ass.
我是Woody的人 伙计们
I'm with Woody, guys.
就算薪水减半 我也不会离开脆莓的
I couldn't leave Brickleberry even if I had to take a 50% pay cut!
听起来不错 Steve 我立马就裁掉你50%的薪水
Sounds good, Steve! I'm giving you a 50% pay cut!
谢谢 太英明了 老大
Thank you. Great idea, Sir.
见鬼
Damn it.
欢迎来到脆莓国家公园 朋友们
Welcome to Brickleberry National Park, my friends.
搞什么啊 我对天起誓 是它要看我的
What? I swear to God, he asked to see it.
看看这效率 这些机器人的效率真是惊人啊
Ooh, look at that! These dot bots are incredible!
人家卖♥♥力干活还没牢骚
They work hard and don't complain,
和你称为朋友的那些懒鬼是天上地下
unlike those quitters you call friends.
不过还是得给那些傻帽点尊重
Gotta respect those stupid assholes, though.
可算识相走人了
They stuck to their guns.
那我呢 我可是完全服从你的啊
How 'bout me? I did exactly what you wanted.
一点不错
Damn right, you did.
多蒂是90年代末轰动一时的机器人女佣 除了维护不花一分钱
嘿 多蒂 两杯柠檬汁