脆莓公园（2012）

脆莓公园十周年纪念洗版

脆莓残障失明露营周
好了 孩子们 今天我们的队伍很大 拜托一定待在一起
Okay, boys, we've got a really large group today, so please stay together.
Steve 感谢上帝
Oh, Steve, thank goodness.
我需要你帮我领这些孩子沿石鹰路下去
I need you to help me lead these kids down The Rock Eagle Trail.
光我一个人很难跟得上他们
I'm having a hard time keeping up with them myself.
我也希望能帮你 但我在忙啊
I wish that I could, but I'm busy.
忙什么?
Doing what?
更新状态啊
Updating my status.
中午饭吃了个热狗
"Had a hot dog for lunch.
有木有辣芥茉酱的粉丝?
Any spicy mustard fans out there?"
Lucas 别
Uh... Lucas, no!
和大伙待在一起
Stay with the group.
行行好 Steve 我真的需要帮助
Come on, Steve, I really need some help here.
现在光线正好
This light is perfect.
正好我也想更新个头像
And, I need a new profile photo.
来 帮哥照一张
Here, take it for me.
拜托和大伙待在一起
Please stay with the group.
超爱今天的发型哦
Loving my hair today.
Steve 除了自己 你还能考虑一下其他人吗?
Ugh. Steve, do you ever think about anybody but yourself?
你是世界上最自恋的人了
You are the most self-centered man on the planet.
继续 你觉得Steve还有哪些迷人之处呢?
Go on. What else about Steve do you find fascinating?
我不仅没有这样想
Ugh. Not only do I not find you fascinating,
而且我怀疑世上没有女人会这样想
but I doubt there is a single woman alive that would.
实话告诉你 Denzel和我今晚要去闪电速配
For your information, Denzel and I are doing speed dating tonight.
我敢打赌今晚有戏 - 今晚你绝无可能...
I bet I'll score. - There is no way that you're...
天呐
Oh, God!
快来 孩子们 咱们去乘摩天轮
Come on, kids. Up into the ferris wheel.
免费糖果
大家都可以上哦
There's room for everybody.
嘿 这事儿我也遇过 我不也还好好的
Hey! It happened to me, and I turned out all right.

脆莓公园
汽车旅馆 今日速配日
就这样朝鲜人逮住我 把我偷偷运过了边境
So the North Koreans grabbed me, and smuggled me across the border.
我被迫在劳工营里呆了九个月
I had to spend nine months in a hard labor camp,
当时前总统卡特正为此事交涉
while former President Carter negotiated my...
抱歉 你有说啥吗?
I'm sorry, did you say something?
我刚列了个名单 看谁能在电影里演我
I was just making a list of people who could play me in a movie.
我有点像克鲁尼 又神似皮特
I'm a... Kind of a cross between Clooney and Pitt.
clit含阴蒂之意
你可以说我是个"克撸特"
You might say I'm a "Clitt."
那...
So...
我们是活塞一下还是怎样?
Are we gonna get it on, or what?
Denzel 这些女人怎么都这样?
Denzel. What's with these women?
老兄 问题在你 你不会倾听她们
Man, you the problem. You don't listen to 'em.
你了解我 我喜欢的妞儿都像变质牛奶...
Now, you know me. I like my women like spoiled milk...
惨白惨白的 过了保质期那种
White, and past the expiration date.
学着点
Watch and learn.
他打来电♥话♥说 奶奶 我被录取了
So he calls and he says, "grandma, I got accepted."
我了个天爷 你说你孙子
Oh, my goodness, you're telling me your grandson
杜兰大学是新奥尔良州的私立大学
进了杜兰大学还拿全额奖学金?
got into Tulane on a full scholarship?
恭喜
Mazel tov.
不如我们去你家帮你的蝙蝠洞掸掸灰怎样?
Now, how about we go back to your place and knock the dust off that poontang?
就等你说这个呢
Ooh! Thought you'd never ask.
正如莎士比亚所说
It's just like Shakespeare said...
自讲自话没个完 蛋蛋憋到蓝
"If you yak about you, your sack will turn blue.
耐心观察听她讲 胯下放光芒
But if you watch and listen, her crotch will glisten."
这是威廉•莎士比亚说的? - 谁?
William Shakespeare said that? - Who?
不是 我兄弟杰马♥克♥思♥•莎士比亚说的
Nah. My boy Jamarcus Shakespeare.
他在底特律拆车卖♥♥零件
Ran a chop shop in Detroit.
他掏出"水管"的次数比消防队还多
Brother pulled more hos than a Fire Department.
Ethel和Denzel都不知道他们自己说些什么
Ethel and Denzel don't know what they're talking about.
我才不自恋呢 对吧?
I'm not self-centered. Am I?
对啊 不要这样说自己 你是最棒的
No. Don't even say that. You're amazing!
谢谢 总算啊 终于有个明白人说话了
Thank you. Finally, someone who makes a little sense around here.
我看得出来你是最棒的哦
I appreciate how amazing you are.
要不要把你的点点滴滴都讲给我听?
Why don't you tell me everything there is to know about you?
说我自己? 我最擅长了
Me? My favorite subject.
最早啊 我是蛋蛋里游得最快的精♥子♥...
My earliest memory was being the fastest sperm in the balls.
哟 这不是那头家熊吗?
Well, if it ain't the house bear.
你要去哪儿? 你个娇生惯养的胆小鬼
Where you going, you spoiled little pussy?
进去啊 我住里面
Inside, where I live.
也祝你哥俩刨垃圾愉快啊
You guys have fun digging through the garbage, though.
忘了说 我们在盖上压了石头 真是悲剧啊 两位
Ooh, I forgot, we put rocks on the lids. Tough break, guys.
哟 这个拿来 - 嘿 那是我的
Yo, gimme those. - Hey, those are mine!
行 行 你们赢
Okay, okay, you win.
我给你说啊
Tell you what.
我从家拿点吃的出来 你们在这儿好好等着啊
I'll bring you some food from inside, just wait right here.
Malloy 你这是干嘛?
Malloy, what are you doing?
拿枪啊
Getting a gun.
关于枪 我之前告诉过你什么?
What have I told you about guns?
在杀人之前 先把枪上的序列号♥刮花
To scratch the serial number off before you murder someone.
不是
No.
在国家公园里只有林警才允许配枪
Only rangers can carry guns inside of a National Park.
那规定烂得可以
That rule sucks.
我只想在附近获得点尊重而已
I just need to command a little respect around here.
相信我 尊重什么的不需要枪就能得到
Trust me, I don't need a gun to get respect.
做啥呢 干♥你♥娘♥的老胖...
What's up, you fat old mother...
帅哥 壮男
Handsome, strong...
二货 傻缺
Stupid, ignorant-ass...
360度无死角大好人
All-around nice guy.
行吧 也许你说得对
All right, maybe you've got a point.
然后我们去了她家 开始准备那啥
So then, we get to her place and start going at it.
真是干柴遇上烈火啊
Everything is getting hot and heavy.
她闻着就像薄荷脑 还夹杂着雌性的饥渴
She smells like menthol rubs and female excitement,
突然间客厅的门打开了
when all of a sudden the parlor door opens.
妈... - 你妈还活着?
Mom... - You got a mom?
你马上给我回房♥间去 小姑娘
You go to your room at once, young lady!
差点被90高龄捉奸在床 很是牛逼吧?
Cock blocked by a 90-year-old. Ain't that some shit?
我真心后悔问了你昨晚怎样...
I am really sorry I asked about that.
都给我听清楚了 你们所谓的自恋狂
I will have you know that my self-centered ass
刚跟世界上最热辣 最性感的女人上了床
just scored with the hottest, sexiest woman in the whole world!
打死我也不信
I don't believe it.
而且 她只想谈关于我的事
And, she only wanted to talk about me.
根本没浪费时间讲她的破事
She didn't waste my time talking about her.
我们OX时那种狂野 你们想也想不到
Oh, yeah, and we had the wildest sex you could imagine.
直到事儿办完了 她才开口为自己要点东西
It wasn't until it was all over that she finally asked for something for herself.
要的啥? - 500刀咯
What was that? - Five hundred dollars.
我猜是打车钱
I'm assuming it was for cab fare.
我猜出租车是要送她去别的州
And I'm assuming the cab had to take her to a different state.
我猜 应该是墨西哥
I'm assuming, Mexico.
Steve 我觉得那女人是...
Steve, I think that woman was a...
该怎么说呢?
How should I put this?
那婊♥子♥是个鸡
That bitch was a ho!
添加利是一种酒的品牌
不准这样说添加利女士
Don't talk about Lady Tanqueray like that!
而且 如果她是妓♥女♥ 为毛我没戴套?
Besides, if she was a prostitute, why didn't I wear a condom?
对吧?
Right?
Kuzniak医疗中心
Steve 警告过你多少次了 不要参加高危活动
Steve, how many times have I warned you about taking part in high-risk behaviors?
天哪
Oh, my God.
有人居然把这乱扔在这儿?
Someone just left this laying here?
刚好现在是流感高发季节
Well, it is cold and flu season.
是腌牛肉的吗?
Is that corned beef?
我给你三刀让我咬一口
I'll give you three bucks for a bite of that.
双方把割开的伤口凑到一块 血流进别人体内
谁想歃血为盟当兄弟啊?
Who wants to become blood brothers?
大家都想? 好啊
All of you? Okay!
老实说 你没染病简直就是统计学上的奇迹...
Frankly, it's a statistical miracle that you haven't gotten sick yet...
我说没事吧
See?
现在... 有事了 - 什么?
Until now. - What?
Steve 医学上已经没词能形容你染上的病有多可怕了
Steve, medicine doesn't have words to describe how horrific your illness is.
我见都没见过 但...
I've never seen it before, but...