脆莓公园（2012）

我们可没准备什么种族战争
We ain't preparin' for no race war.
还别说 Bobby 我真准备着呢
Speak for yourself, Bobby, because I am.
他在说我们的压轴好戏 痴呆
He's talking about the big finale, numb nuts!
就这个
This!
我来教你怎么样从手铐里脱出去
Now I'll show you how to escape from the handcuffs.
厉害啊 没想到你还是个魔术师
Wow. I didn't know you were a magician.
魔术师? 我又不是魔术师 黑人而已
Magician? I ain't no magician. I'm just black.
北约标准军事通讯术语 为避免听错 使用词语代替字母
Victor Bravo Foxtrot Tango
Victor, Bravo, Foxtrot, Tango.
搞什么 等等 差点忘了
What the... oh, wait, I forgot.
能帮我们吹下这个不?
Can you blow into this for us?
Ethel 救救我
Help! Ethel! Help!
Woody 抓紧了
Woody! Grab hold!
要滑下去了 快腾那只手抓我
Slipping. Give me your other hand!
不行啊 你再用点力气
I can't, just pull harder!
你大爷啊 到底哪个重要 是我还是那些天杀的蛋
God damn it, who's more important, me or those [Bleeping] eggs?
哎呦 你滑下去了 - 你个贱...
Whoops, you slipped. - You biiiii...
贱...
Iiiii...
你个天杀的贱♥人♥
You goddamn bitch!
上帝啊 我们被冲到鸟不拉屎的无人荒岛了
Oh, my God! We're marooned on an uncharted desert island!
Steve 我们就在停车场旁边的山上
Steve, we're on the hill by the parking lot.
那么说...
So, there's...
美剧《迷失》里的怪物
没什么黑烟怪 - 扫兴
There's no smoke monster. - Damn it.
运气真好
Oh, just my luck.
公园像被飓风整得底朝天 我还和特大号♥拉拉捆在一起
The Park goes all Katrina, and I'm handcuffed to The Superdome.
无意冒犯 - 洪水把钥匙冲不见了
No offense. - We lost the key during the flood.
Woody上哪去了? 他肯定有招
Where's Woody? He'll know what to do.
伙计们 Woody没挺过来
Guys, Woody didn't make it.
我已经尽力救他了 但他可能太弱了吧
I did my best to save him, but I guess he was too weak.
还太蠢 太缺德 你们知道的 太肥了 挺不过来的
And too stupid, and too assholey, and, you know, too fat to live.
天呐 - 太可怕了
Oh, my God! - That's terrible.
真可怜
Poor guy.
Malloy 你居然活下来了
Malloy, you survived!
差点就没淹死 幸好找到这条皮艇
Barely. Luckily, I found this pontoon boat.
有谁想吃东西不?
Anybody hungry?
开玩笑的 她八成有艾滋病
I'm kidding. She probably has AIDS.
Woody挂了
Woody's dead.
早点吃啥?
What's for breakfast?
你一点都不难过? - 废话 难过啊
Aren't you sad at all? - Yeah, I'm sad.
我哀悼他的方式就是吃早点
And how I grieve is by eating breakfast.
我们该怎么办? 山中无老虎啊
What are we gonna do? We don't have a leader.
不 我们有
Yes, we do.
Woody总是说我是二当家的
Woody always said I was second in charge.
其实呢 这才是他说的
Actually, this is what he said.
如果我哪天翘辫子 希望Steve能接手这一切
In the event of my death, I want Steve to be in charge.
你们都被耍啦
Ha! You're all [Bleeped]!
都听到他说的了吧 我现在是你们的新领袖
You heard what he said. I'm the new leader.
我们支持你 百分百支持 Steve
We're behind you 100%, Steve.
Ethel 你可不能让他得逞
Ethel, you can't let this happen!
放心吧 Denzel 就让Steve去唱戏吧
Relax, Denzel, let Steve play leader.
他不可能比Woody还操蛋 况且我还要照顾这些蛋呢
He couldn't be worse than Woody. Besides, I need to look after these eggs.
是啊 相信我 伙计们 我不会把事情搞砸的
Yes! Trust me, guys, I won't let it go to my head.
过来吧 我的人♥民♥ 我就是你们的新国王 Steve
Gather 'round, my people, I am your new King, Steve!
我们将齐心协力创造一个社会 就叫它史蒂夫斯坦 不...
Together, we will create a new society called Steveistan! No...
史蒂夫王国 就是它啦
Steveland! That's it.
听着 史蒂夫王国的居民们
Now, Stevelanders!
我知道你们已经饥肠辘辘 让我们一起去找些食物吧
I know you are hungry, so we are all going to forage for food.
听起来太麻烦了 - 那黑乎乎的牛仔说得没错
That sounds like a lot of work. - The chocolate cowboy is right.
谁也甭想让我Jorge去找东西
No one makes Jorge forage!
没错 或许我们得换个领袖
Yeah, maybe we need a new leader!
不如你吧 你让我想起肯尼迪总统了
How about you? Why, you remind me of a Kennedy.
只因为你醉醺醺的 早先我还看见你淹死一个女的
Only because you're drunk, and I saw you drowning a woman earlier.
换领袖 换领袖...
New leader! New leader...
史蒂夫国王逊毙了 - 等等 等等 我开玩笑呢
King Steve sucks! - Wait, wait, I-I-I was kidding!
大家都不必干活的 随心所欲就行了
No... no one has to work, just do whatever you want.
没有规矩
No rules!
新制度万岁 - 规矩什么的只配给我跪舔
Hail to the new regime! - Rules can suck my ass off!
我的臣民拥护我 等一下 你俩干嘛?
My people love me! Wait, what are you doing?
我们要脱个精光 让小鸡鸡亲个嘴儿
We gonna get naked and touch our dick-eyes together.
对 百无禁忌的国度嘛
Yep. Ain't no rules against it.
要是必须跟谁铐一块的话 我很乐意是你哦 Denzel
If I had to be handcuffed to anybody, I'm glad it's you, Denzel.
真窝心啊 Connie
That's nice, Connie.
在所有一起铐过的人中 我敢说你可以入围十佳
And of everybody I've been handcuffed to, I'd say you in the top ten.
你觉得这附近会有卫生间吗?
Do you think there's a bathroom around here?
想都不要想
Don't even think about it.
我特么更情愿咬断胳膊
I would gnaw right through my [Bleeping] arm.
但肚子好疼啊 - 两位好啊
But it hurts! - Hi, guys.
嘿 Trudy来了 - 你好
Hey, it's Trudy! - Um... hello.
Dyke既有河堤之意 又有女同性恋之意
嘿 你不是那个跟我讲"手指插洞"的妹子吗?
Hey, you're the girl who used that dyke-finger line on me.
我才搞懂槽点 真是又骚又妙
I just got it. It was hot and clever.
真的吗? - 我就知道这段子超猛的
Really? - I knew it was gold!
那... 你今天想出来玩玩吗?
So, uh... you wanna hang out today?
那是当然 好哎 好哎 好哎 好哎
Sure I do! Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!
其实我还有其它打算... 嘿
Well, actually I got other plans... hey!
看见没 子民们?
See, citizens?
你们在沙滩休养的时候 你们的主子找到了食物
While you were relaxing on the beach, your leader has found food.
请尽情享用
Help yourselves.
太酸了
Too sour.
太甜了 - 味道太刚好了
Ugh, too sweet. - Too just right!
大家伙 咱们食物有限 所以你们得...
Guys, we have limited food, so you may wanna...
我是说 请继续浪费粮食
I mean, please continue wasting our food!
只要你们高兴就行
Whatever makes you happy.
Jorge吃个苹果不用别人教
No one tells Jorge how to eat apples!
Connie 我还想听你那些华丽的段子
Connie, I want to hear more of your florid words.
虽然你面目可憎
Even though your face is heinous,
我的舌头还是会像跳水运动员一样蹦进你嘴里
I'll dive into your mouth like Greg Louganis.
这段子够爽 - Connie
Hell yeah! - Oh, Connie!
这堆猪肉裹在一起还真让人起腻
Ooh. Normally, I'm a fan of pigs in a blanket.
看到蜷缩的草民们围着将熄的篝火打哆嗦 朕心甚喜
It cheers my heart to see my huddled masses shivering around a dying fire.
我们冷死啦 柴火快没了
We're cold! Ain't no firewood.
关键是没人想去捡柴火啊
But no one wanted to get firewood.
当然没人想去捡柴啦
Of course no one wanted to get firewood.
这跟史蒂夫王国所代表的一切相悖
That goes against everything Steveland stands for.
天呐 他们快孵出来了
Oh, God! They're hatching!
目前仅存的两只费城小鹰
The only two known Philadelphia eagles in existence.
使劲 加油 你们俩没娘养的小孤儿
Push! Push, you little orphan bastards!
我当妈妈了
I'm a mother! Oh!
我父母还说玩"藏擀面杖"的女孩永远都不会当妈妈
And my parents said it would never happen after I played hide the rolling pin.
我小时候比较容易好奇
I was a curious child.
各位 好消息 我找到了冲到沙滩上的一艘划艇
Great news, everyone. I found a rowboat washed up on the beach.
太棒了 Steve 我们有救了
That's great, Steve, we're saved!
绝对的 我把它劈成了100多段
Hell yeah we are! I chopped it up into 100 pieces.
现在柴火够几个月烧的了
Now we'll have firewood for months!
得过且过 太赞了
Hooray for short-term solutions!
真希望Woody能看到现在的我
I only wish Woody could see me now.
无论他在何方
Wherever he is.
这里有人吗?
Is anyone out there?
哈喽?
Hello?
有人吗?
Hello?
不要啊 我不要跟脑子里的声音独处
Please, I can't be alone with my thoughts.
我恨那些声音
I hate my thoughts!
大家也恨你
Everyone hates you.
你就该一个人死掉
You deserve to die alone.
谁在说话?
Who said that?
你并不存在 去你的
You're not real, damn you!
你并不存在
You're not real.
我们要把你整疯掉
We're gonna drive you crazy.
疯掉...
Crazy...
疯掉...
Crazy...
刚才什么声音?