鲍勃心动

Bob Hearts Abishola S02E08

Part 2 Feb. 25, 2021, 5:55 p.m.

Mommy, I wanted to talk to you about Tayo.
我都听说了
I have heard all about it.
好样的
Well done.
什么好样的
Well done?
用订婚逼迫塔约回到你身边
Getting engaged to force Tayo to come back for you.
非常聪明
Very clever.
不我还是想嫁给鲍勃
No, I still want to marry Bob.
别犯蠢了
Don't be stupid.
你已经有一个丈夫了
You already have a husband,
你们俩在一起非常快乐
and you two are very happy together.
但我们不快乐
But we are not.
但我和别人说你们很快乐
But I have told people you are.
-为什么 -为了保护你的名声
- Why? - To protect your reputation.
我的名声很好
My reputation is fine.
因为我的谎言
Because of my lies.
稍后
你们要见我们
You wanted to see us?
是的进来关门请坐
Yeah. Come on in. Shut the door. Have a seat.
听着我们有一个问题
Listen, we've got a situation.
是因为那个自动售货机吗
Is this about the vending machine?
它自己给我两包奇多的跟我没关系
It gave me double Cheetos. There was nothing I could do.
不是工作上的事
This isn't about work.
我们找你们来是以我们家朋友的身份
We need to talk to you as friends of the family.
好吧
Okay.
-请继续 -你们也知道
- Please proceed. - As you know,
艾比希拉的丈夫现在有些棘手
Abishola's husband is causing some issues.
这家伙就是没点眼力见
The dude can't take a hint.
她是鲍勃生命中最美好的事
She's the best thing that ever happened to Bob,
对我们来说也是我们不能失去她
to us, and-and we can't lose her.
据我所知
From what I understand,
她的丈夫不可能和她离婚的
her husband will never grant her a divorce.
没错所以我们要怎么办
Exactly. So what are we gonna do about it?
-我们 -你们俩是尼日利亚人
- We? - You guys are Nigerian.
你们了解这种事我们要怎么办
You know how this stuff works. What can we do?
-合法的吗 -或者
- Legally? - Or...
不合法的
...illegally.
把背心穿起来
Put your vest on.
冷静点我们只是想帮助鲍勃和艾比希拉
Take it easy. We're just trying to help out Bob and Abishola.
我觉得我的办法还是有希望的
I think my solution still has some merit.
别再提那个愚蠢的主意了
Knock it off with that cockamamie idea.
也许我们应该让尼日利亚人来决定什么才是愚蠢
Maybe we should let the Nigerians decide what's cockamamie.
好啊
Fine.
古德温科福你们也知道
Goodwin, Kofo, as you know,
尼日利亚人都是
Nigerians are a noble,
拥有超高道德标准的高尚之人
honorable people with high moral standards.
我们想要利用这一点
We'd like to exploit that.
密鹳计划分为两步
Operation Secret Stork is a two-part process.
艾比希拉假装怀了鲍勃的孩子
Abishola pretends to be pregnant with Bob's child.
我们准备假验孕棒
We get a phony pee stick,
伪造的超声波检查各种结果
counterfeit sonograms, the works.
塔约会非常憎恶妻子犯下的通奸罪
And Tayo, so disgusted by his wife's sins of the flesh,
要求离婚
demands a divorce.
有什么意见
Thoughts?
科福
Kofo?
不你来
No, you go right ahead.
你要毁掉这个女人的名声
So, you would destroy this woman's reputation
以及她在家庭和社区中的地位
and standing within her family and community?
是的
Yes.
但是她还有我们
But she'd have us.
科福
Kofo?
我觉得古德温想说的是
I-I think what Goodwin is trying to say is,
虽然你们的心是好的
while your heart is in the right place,
但你们的做法让人难以理解
your actions are beyond reprehensible.
看愚蠢
See? Cockamamie!
好吧但是我们拿出
Okay, but if we took out
这些道德感放在盒子里
the morality, put it in a box,
把这个盒子放在一个小羞耻洞里
buried that box in a little shame hole,
这个计划可能吗
would the plan work?
-我想理论上可以但是... -谢谢
- I suppose in theory it could, but... - Thank you!
但是她的家人可能以后再也不会和她说话
But her family may never speak to her again.
那没关系因为她是我们的家人了
Well, that will be okay, because she's our family now!
与此同时
我的儿子扶我坐下时
When my son sat me down,
我以为他要告诉我他是同性恋或者共和党人了
I thought he was gonna tell me he was gay or Republican.
那是哪个
Which one is he?
都不是他恋爱了
Neither. He's in love.
和一个男人吗
With a man?
不是女人
No, with a woman.
无聊
Boring.
和你儿子说别急着结婚
Tell your son not to rush into marriage.
他只会失望觉得自己愚蠢
He will end up disappointed, feeling foolish,
最后很可能孤独一生
and most likely alone.
谁惹了你啊
Who tinkled on your toast?
塔约他把底特律全部惹了一遍
Tayo. He left a trail of tinkle all around Detroit.
我就不该蠢到以为这样行得通
It was stupid of me to think this could work.
我为什么要说我愿意
Why'd I say yes?
我为什么要给鲍勃希望
Why did I give Bob hope?
抱歉你刚刚说鲍勃希望[鲍勃·霍普喜剧演员]
Sorry, you said "Bob Hope."
是的她给了鲍勃希望
Yes. She has given Bob hope.
很快鲍勃的希望就要死了
And soon Bob's hope will be dead.
他已经死了懂笑点了吗
He already is. Get it?
算了算了
Never mind, never mind.
鲍勃不明白的
Bob does not understand.
不管我们做什么
No matter what we do,
塔约都不会改变主意的
Tayo is not going to change his mind.
他当然不会了
Of course he's not.
他那么固执吗他是金牛座吗
He's that stubborn? Is he a Taurus?
他是尼日利亚人
He's Nigerian.
也是金牛座
And a Taurus.
尼日利亚人会非常任性
Nigerians can be very headstrong.
还报复心强
And vindictive.
我的朋友侄女
I had a friend whose cousin stole
偷了她的食谱开了一家成功的餐饮承办公♥司♥
her recipes and opened a successful catering business.
我的朋友就给她侄女寄了一盒有问题的香菜
My friend then sent her cousin a tainted box of cilantro,
让她所有客户都得了严重的痢疾
which gave all of her clients violent dysentery.
厉害啊
Damn.
等等你的侄女不就是做餐饮承办的吗
Wait, doesn't your cousin have a catering business?
现在不是了
Not anymore.
第二天
鲍勃
Bob.
你好塔约我要向你介绍
Kaale, Tayo. I'd like to introduce you
我的律师阿尼·古德费舍
to my attorney Arnie Goldfischer.
很荣幸
Pleasure.
怎么回事
What's going on?
我尝试过用尼日利亚的办法解决了
I tried playing this the Nigerian way,
现在我们要用美国人的办法了
but now we're gonna play it the American way.
雇得起最贵律师的那一方能赢
Whoever has the most expensive lawyer wins.
我可是很贵的
And I'm very expensive.
过了一会儿
你怎么知道我会来这里
How did you know I would be here?
我瞎猜的
Took a wild guess.
我们昨天也来了可你没来
We also came yesterday-- you never showed up.
我喜欢这汤很辣
Oh, I love this soup. It's very spicy.
把我身体掏空了不过是好的那种
Cleared me right out, but in a good way.
你说不说
Do you mind?
抱歉
Sorry.
听着
Listen...
阿德班博先生
Mr. Adebambo,
我的委托人已经准备好
my client is ready to go to great lengths
从尼日利亚获取法律文件
to acquire the legal documentation from Nigeria
来证明你和
to render your marriage
艾比希拉·阿德班博夫人的婚姻是无效的
to Mrs. Abishola Adebambo null and void.
我们没在和你开玩笑塔约