一起单身（2018）

You went to church as a kid.
没错 可你有必要吗 又没人受伤
Yeah, man, but come on, nobody got hurt.
别纠结这事儿了
Let's just move on.
什么叫没人受伤 我就受伤了
What do you mean no one got hurt? I'm hurt.
我现在就很受伤 我在表达自己
This is me hurt. I'm expressing myself.
-你好 我很受伤 -你要知道
- Hi, I'm hurt. - You need to realize
谎言有很多不同的等级
that there are different levels of lies, okay?
这个只是可忽略不计的谎言
And all this was was a lie of omission.
是最低等级的
That's all the way down here,
然后还有半真半假 开玩笑
and then you've got half-truths, JKs,
大大的小谎 小小的大谎
big little lies, little big lies.
谎言等级不同 你生气的等级也不能相同 不能这样
Okay, you can't get the same amount of mad for all those. You just can't.
行了 我要订个高级酒店
Look, guys, I'm gonna get a fancy hotel
你们不能跟我一起住 也休想上我的车
and you can't stay with me and you can't come in my car.
-就这样 -要不这样
- We're done. - Hey, hey, you know what?
如果你需要推荐的话
If you're looking for some recommendations
我知道有个很好的地方离这里很近
I know a boutique place real close to here
后面还有个木球场
that has a bocce court in the back.
伯克利的酒店都订满了
Every hotel in Berkeley's sold out.
校友聚会嘛
Alumni weekend.
我要走了
I'm leaving.
这附近有个健身房♥
Look, there's a gym close to here,
可以买♥♥当日通票
and it's got day passes and everything.
你可以在那儿洗澡
You can take a shower there.
健身房♥的沐浴露怎么样
What's the body wash situation at that gym?
我送你一瓶沐浴露做生日礼物
I'll get you body wash for your birthday.
-问题解决了 -好吧 我们走
- Problem solved. - Fine, let's go.
-行 -太好了
- Fine. - Great.
班吉 快点吧
Benji, come on, okay？
你说来这儿洗个澡就走
You said you were just gonna shower and then we would go.
买♥♥了今天的票 就得让它物有所值
I got a day pass. I'm getting my money's worth.
你们也应该锻炼一下
You should exercise, too.
有氧运动能减压
Cardio is a great stress reliever.
杰夫里 你是哪边的
Jeffrey, whose side are you on?
我不知道 我也不在乎
I don't know. I mean, I don't even care.
我只想赶快到表演的地方去
I just wanna get to the show, all right?
我想... 我想赶紧结束
I wanna... I wanna end this thing.
班吉 我也就跟你说一下
And just so you know, Benji,
你在这锻炼的时间太久了
you took too much time working out here.
我们没法去所有的目的地了
We're not gonna make it to all our stops.
得超级艰难地抉择几个地方
We're gonna have to make some really difficult decisions.
跟我有什么关系 骗子
It's not my problem, liars.
快点洗 好吗
Be quick, okay?
洗洗重点区域就行了
And just wash your hot zones.
真是场灾难
This is a disaster.
你好
What's up?
你好
Hey, what's up?
你看起来有点低落 小个子
You seem down, little buddy.
我在洗头而已
I'm just, I'm just washing my hair.
我很好 兄弟
I'm okay, man.
装得挺好 但别骗我
Nice try, dude. Don't lie to me.
我懂肢体语言
Okay, I'm a body language expert.
上法庭时很有用
Helps me out in the courtroom.
你新来的吗
You new here?
我天天来健身 没见过你
I work out here all the time. Never seen you.
到底咋了
What's up?
-说来话长 -怎讲
- It's a long story, man. - Yeah?
我要刮毛 时间多得很
Well, I gotta shave up, so all I got is time.
说吧
Hit me.
-好吧 今天是我生日... -生日快乐
- All right, so it's my birthday, and... -Happy birthday!
兄弟们 今天是他生日
Everybody, this man's birthday is today!
谢谢兄弟
Thanks, dude.
我一般不过生日
Yeah, I'm not usually a birthday person.
也不很在乎过生日
I really don't even care about them.
我朋友邀请我来一场公路旅行 一路从洛杉矶...
My friends invite me on a road trip, all the way from LA...
我不知道 他们很混♥蛋♥
So, I don't know. They're dicks.
但也许是我反应过度
But maybe I'm overreacting.
没有 你生日这天
No, unh-unh. On your birthday.
是唯一可以为自己庆祝的一天
This is the one day you can celebrate you.
你的感觉最重要
Feelings are feelings.
我从没和其他任何人说过这么真实的想法
Okay? And that is the realest thing I've ever told anyone.
是啊
Yeah.
-很棒 -我喜欢
- Great. - I like that.
-谢谢 -别客气兄弟
- Thank you. - Take it, man.
生日快乐 当作我送你的礼物
Happy birthday. That's my gift to you.
谢谢 兄弟
Thanks, dude.
♪ 祝你生日快乐 ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
总之 不论如何
I mean, I'm just saying that no matter what,
鸵鸟饲养场的体验肯定更特别
going to an ostrich farm is a more unique experience.
可是嘟嘟甜甜圈更好吃啊
Okay, well, going to dodo's donuts is a more delicious experience.
何况 杰夫 我搜索过"鸵鸟咬人"
Plus, Jeff, I googled "ostrich bite"
结果可吓人了
and what I saw really scared me.
他们没有牙齿 咬起人来...
They don't have teeth. It's just like...
-是这种感觉 -很疼的
- Like that. - That hurt.
朋友们 走吧
Hey, guys, let's go.
好 继续行程吧
Great, we are back on schedule.
我们刚决定要去吃甜甜圈
We just decided we're gonna go get donuts.
事实上 计划有变
Actually, there's been a change in plans.
现在起 所有计划由本寿星决定
Decisions now go through me, the birthday boy.
我刚才和一位新朋友聊得很开心
Just had a great talk with my new friend,
也就是肌肉男 他说我的感觉最重要
muscle guy, and muscle guy says feelings are feelings,
我感觉不想吃甜甜圈
and I don't feel like getting a donut.
我感觉想吃世界最棒的香蕉船
I feel like getting the world's greatest banana split.
好吧 但你可能还不了解公路旅行
Okay, well, I don't think you understand how road trips work.
所有事情必须提前计划好
I mean, these things have to be planned
提前几周 甚至几个月
weeks, if not months in advance.
是 没毛病 艾丝特
That's cute. That's real cute, Esther.
但你可能还不了解怎样给别人过生日
'Cause I don't think you know how birthdays work.
我倒觉得 你俩都不知道怎样做朋友
I don't think either of you understand how friendship works.
别生气了 吃点冰激淋
Come on, man, get some ice cream.
-你不是喜欢冰激凌吗 -我不饿
- You love ice cream. - I'm not really that hungry.
-谢谢 -能不能
- Thank you. - Hey, maybe we just
安静点吃东西 我偏头痛都要犯了
all eat quietly before my migraine really kicks in.
吃一口吧
Just take a bite.
最好吃的香蕉船
It's the best banana split ever.
别管我 行吗
I'm fine, okay?
我正在读比尔与苏西的故事
I've actually been reading all about Bill and Suzy
开这家店是他们的梦想
and how this place was their dream to open it.
恭喜苏西
Congratulations, Suzy.
不要对甜甜圈表现得这么饥渴 好吗
Will you stop acting like you're so donut horny, okay?
我看过你的愿望清单 全是甜腻腻的曲奇
I've seen your vision board. It's all sugar cookies.
我写的是肉桂奶油饼干
Those are snickerdoodles.
肉桂奶油饼干就是甜腻腻的曲奇
Snickerdoodles are sugar cookies.
不是 -它属曲奇科
They're not. -They're part of the sugar cookie family.
没有曲奇科这种东西
There's no cookie family.
但有一位曲奇天才
There is a cookie genus. Yes, there is.
将一块甜味曲奇
And if you take a sugar cookie,
撒上肉桂奶油调料
you put snickerdoodle seasoning on it,
-就做成了肉桂奶油饼干 -你是说撒上肉桂粉吗
- and then it's a snickerdoodle. - You mean cinnamon?
-你是不是在瞎编 -我真知道
- Do you even know? - I do know.
肉桂粉之外还需加入别的作料
It's more than cinnamon to make a snickerdoodle.
对啊 所以这是两种不同的饼干
Yeah, that's why they're two different cookies.
肉桂奶油饼干不只是用肉桂做的
It's not just one ingredient that makes it.
曲奇饼干是制♥作♥肉桂奶油饼干的基础
The basis of a snickerdoodle is sugar cookie.
得了 我走了
All right, I'm out.
我朋友快到了
My lyft's almost here.
我出去等伊格纳肖
I'm just gonna wait for Ignacio outside.
-我能和你一起去吗 -不能
- Can I come with you? - No.
那我和你走吧
I'm gonna come with you, though.
不行
No!
你俩就跟疯子似的