一起单身（2018）

今晚对艾丝特很重要 看她布置得多用心
Tonight means a lot to Esther. Look around.
她有你这么个关心她的朋友真好 但...
It's sweet that you care about her, but...
我必须关心她 她就像我救回来的小动物
I mean, I have to care about her. She's like a rescue animal.
如果对她不好 不摸摸头 不喂好吃的
If you're not nice to them and pet them and feed them,
他们就在家里随地尿尿 还咬人
they pee on the floor and bite you, you know.
我也说不清 万一晚上会好玩点呢
I don't know, maybe tonight will get better.
该交换工作了哦
It's time to rotate.
-受不了... 再见 -等下 等等
- Okay... Bye.- Wait, wait, wait.
给 拿着这个
Here, take this.
吃了你们就会开心了
You'll have a lot of fun with this stuff.
这是什么
What is it?
可能是吃完会"互相按♥摩♥"的那种药
I think it's like a "let's massage each other" type drug,
我不是太懂
but I'm not really familiar.
本来是想用来勾搭一个喜欢摇滚乐队的妹子的
I was just trying to impress a girl who likes jam bands, to be honest.
-谁要 -我
- Who's in? - Me.
我一般不嗑药
I don't do drugs that often,
但我想如果你们想嗑 选这药没毛病
but I think, if you wanna do drugs, you wanna do that stuff.
我们替你保密
Secret's safe with us. Sh!
对了 谁是爱思芙啊
Who's Asif, by the way?
我的天
My God.
我好喜欢这个糖果钢琴
I love this candy piano.
好可爱啊
It's so freakin' cute.
你刚刚摆得很走心呢
And you did such a great job building it.
真的 你该休息一下了
Honestly, someone should give you a break.
是的啦
Yes, yes.
天了噜 你用花体写了"花体"吗
My God, you wrote "calligraphy"in calligraphy?
-相当腻害 -谢谢
- That's amazing. - Thanks.
好啦
Yes!
杰茜 你的贴纸簿也太棒了吧
Jess, your sticker book page looks awesome.
相当不错 对吧
It's insane, right?
如果你一定要我提意见 我只能说猫猫有点多
If I were to give you any criticism at all, I'd say it's a little kitten heavy,
但你如果喜欢这个风格 大胆做咯
but if that's your taste, go for it.
我感觉自己又变成小孩子惹
I just feel like I'm a child again.
-是那种特别... 回到童年的感觉 -对
- Like, but in a really... like, I'm a child again. - Yes.
我感觉努力搞创作搞了这么久
And I just have been fighting this creative part of myself for too long,
现在的我已经回不去了
and I'm not going back to who I was before.
这就是现在的我 都是你的功劳
This is who I am now. I honestly owe it to you.
而且我们都没喝酒 简直锦上添花啊 是吧
And you're sober, that's what makes this so much better, right?
不过 讲真的
Okay, for real, though,
该穿上运动衣
I think it's time for us to put on our movement clothes,
进入今晚的舞蹈部分咯
and get to the dance portion of the night.
好耶
Yeah!
天哪
My God!
艾丝特 艾丝特
Esther, Esther, Esther!
没事 继续
Okay, okay.
很好喝诶 里面有什么
This is good. What's in it?
一点欧芹 姜黄根粉 还有脱水鸡高汤
Um, some parsley, turmeric, some dehydrated chicken stock.
我体内的萨满法师可能觉醒了
I pretty much accessed my inner shaman,
把所有香料都倒进一杯热水里
and poured my whole spice rack into a hot cup of water.
我感觉好点了 所以还不赖
Well, I feel better, so that's a good sign.
虽然我不是国家橄榄球联盟的医生
Yeah, I mean, I'm no NFL doctor,
但我想你应该没得脑震荡
but I don't think you have a concussion,
所以继续下一项活动吧
so on to our next activity.
对你我一点招没有
I have no idea what to do with you.
刚你不在的时候 我瞄了眼里面的睡衣派对 要不我们也参加吧
While you were gone, I looked through the window at the slumber party. Do you wanna join in?
去取笑她们是吧 跟在咱们夏令营一样
And, like, make fun of them, like summer camp.
对啊 或者 和她们一起聊聊能量核心
Sure. Or maybe, they wanna talk about their energy centers.
你不是说你有有大学学位吗
I thought you said you have a college degree.
因为我 大家都磕了药
Everyone's on drugs 'cause of me.
现在我就像个合法夜♥总♥会♥大老板
I'm pretty much like a legit club promoter now.
就差条巴巴多斯围巾
All I need is one of those Barbados scarves
史蒂芬·泰勒[美国著名摇滚乐歌♥手]最喜欢绑在话筒上的那种
that Steven Tyler's mic stand wears.
好了 姑娘们
Yes, you guys, yes.
一定要扭胯 记住没
My God, really remember to snap that hip, remember?
扭过去 卡希蒂 我看到你了
Snap. Cassidy, I see you.
我也感觉你看我了 真的
I feel seen, I do.
走走走 咱们也去跳舞
Let's go, let's dance. Let's join.
我不想去 别这样
I don't wanna. Come on.
我不想给了姑娘药 又让她们跳舞
I can't give a bunch of girls drugs and then have them dance.
这是南海滩灯红酒绿的做派 不太适合我
That's a little too South Beach for me.
你去跳吧 别被我扫了兴
But go dance. I don't wanna hold you back.
好好玩
Have fun.
干得不错啊
Nice work out there.
是啊
That's right.
这就叫领导力 看到了吗
Now this is leadership in action, okay?
上位 小婊砸 到处都是我负责
Lean in, bitch. I'm leaning everywhere.
到处都能闻到你
I can smell you everywhere.
体味重是重了点 但又不难闻 懂我意思吗
I know your body odor is strong, but it's not, like, bad, you know what I mean?
体味就是很难闻啊
It's body odor, it's bad.
艾丝特 我超爱这首歌♥
Esther, I love this song.
当年我最爱跳这首
It was my jam back in the day.
我现在也最爱跳这首 所以...
It's my jam still, so...
她在那儿干嘛
What is she doing out here?
玩啊 这样多好
Having a good time. This is all positive stuff.
你的睡衣趴很火 还有新人加入
Your slumber party's a hit, you got a new girl in your squad.
不可以 不能随便加人
No, no, no. You can't just throw in a new person.
这样会打破队伍平衡
It ruins the equilibrium.
虽然我不想评论她跳舞
And I don't wanna make this about the dance,
但她很明显没踩到节奏
but, like, she clearly doesn't get the tone.
我看她跳得挺好啊
She's killing it.
好了 请大家继续进行刚才分配的分项运动
Okay, everyone, let's go back to our respective sanctions in the house, please.
你指的是活动不是运动吧
I think you mean sections, not sanctions.
运动听着更官方一点
Sanctions made it sound more official somehow.
两个词都能用吧
I think both work.
艾丝特 凯特琳和我只有在夏令营才合得来 你的派对就很像夏令营
Look, Esther, Caitlyn and I can only connect in a camp-like setting, and your party's just like camp.
我在一边看着 大家开心地玩小学生活动
Everyone's having pre-teen fun while I stare.
你不可以一直吐槽我的派对
No, you do not get to shit on my party all night,
又在它巅峰的时候加入
and then join in right when it's peaking.
我说过 吸毒嗑药的去你屋
Like I said, users and abusers in your room,
我的朋友在这屋
and my friends get to stay out here.
你说我和凯特琳 我们可没嗑药
If you're talking about me or Caitlyn, we didn't do any drugs.
那就好 如你所见 无药派对才是最好的派对
That's good. As you see, a drug-free party is the best kind of party,all right?
我可没说 没人嗑药哦
I didn't say nobody took drugs.
等等
Scu me?
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
到底怎么回事
What?
只有这样她们才愿意留下来
It was the only way to get them to stay
-陪你过小学生贴纸周末 -什么
- at your pre-school-themed sticker weekend.- What?
对不起 为了拯救你的派对 我给她们嗑药了
I'm sorry. I gave them drugs to save your party.
不
No!
各位
Hey, guys.
艾丝特
Esther!
眼罩不要摘哦 可别破坏了惊喜
Keep your blindfold on. You wouldn't want to ruin the surprise.
你不能开我哥的车
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't take my brother's car.
不然他又要把我房♥间租出去了
He'll sub-lease my room again.
我必须冒这个险
It's a risk I've gotta take.
她们需要我帮忙
These ladies need my help,
我一定要领导她们
and I have to be their leader, okay?
这才是今天最重要的事
That's just the name of the game.
我的方式也许不算传统...
My ways may be unconventional...
艾丝特 你要做什么 她们安全吗
Esther, what are you doing? Are these girls safe?
有谁是真的安全吗 想想吧
Is anyone ever really safe? Think about it.
真有意思 班吉 我们也去吧
Now that sounds fun. Let's go, Benji.
好吧 我和凯特琳也去
Okay, cool. Me and Caitlyn will come with.
-不行 -求你了
- No. - Please.
我一整晚都想和她打好关系
I've been trying to connect with this girl all night.
我们没有任何共同点 这是我最后的机会了
We have nothing in common, this is, like, my last chance.
好吧 不过只因为你们今晚能从我身上学到很多
Fine, but only because you guys could learn a lot from me tonight,
说不定能拯救你们的人生
and I could potentially save your lives.
好 谢了 我欠你一次
Okay, thank you. I owe you.