一起单身（2018）

我要随时都能看到这些照片
I need to own this at all times.
用如今的标准来评判这个MV太不公平了
It's not fair to judge it by today's standards.
根本没有价值
The production values are weak.
我的评判标准是中学生才艺秀
I'm judging it by middle school talent show standards,
真的很烂
And it's terrible.
天哪 怎么了
No. what happened there?
我们没把视频拍完
We never finished the video.
我们一直没决定好专辑的名字
We couldn't decide on a name for the album.
他们想叫"赞扬斯卡短裤"[赞扬短裤 90年代电视剧]
They wanted to name it ska-lute your shorts,
我想叫"哈利波特与火焰斯卡杯"[哈利波特与火焰杯]
I wanted to name it Harry Potter and the ska-blet of fire.
别再笑我了
Stop laughing at me.
天哪 难怪你们乐队会因为这个分♥裂♥...
Man, I could see how that would really tear the band apart...
这两个名字真是太难选了
Those two red-hot options there.
那时候是我的黑暗时期
Guys, this was a dark time for me.
因为创作我不得不退乐队
I had to quit the band for creative reasons,
我的歌♥也不能问世
And my song never got out there.
他们都转了哥特风
They all went goth,
我还沉迷扫雷不能自拔
I developed an unhealthy relationship with minesweeper.
真得很糟
It was bad.
要是以后"音乐背后"这节目要介绍你们乐队 可别提扫雷的事了
Listen, when they do the behind the music for this band of yours, leave out the minesweeper part.
不然你们粉丝该自杀了
You don't want your fans killing themselves.
杰夫 我要的设备你到底借不借
Jeff, are you gonna let me borrow the equipment or not?
当然不借 我是非常认真地对待摄像经理这份工作的
Absolutely not. I take being AV manager very seriously,
虽然我做这份工作是因为喜剧俱乐部里没人愿意干
Even though I only got this job because no one else in the comedy club wanted it.
我就很想做啊
I would've done it.
不管怎样 这设备是拿来录俱乐部里的表演的
Regardless, this equipment is for recording people that perform at the club, okay,
不是拿给那些富二代炫耀的
Not some rich kid's vanity project.
好吧 杰夫 小班吉有些细节没告诉你
Okay, jeff, Here's the thing that Benji boy isn't telling you.
我才是这支MV的女主角
I am actually the star of this music video,
而且严格来说 你把设备借给我们完全不违规啊 因为我也是这个俱乐部的演员
And technically, you won't be breaking any rules by lending us the equipment because I am a performer of this club.
你们之前有合作过吗
Have you guys ever worked together?
-有啊 一起点过午餐... -我们的想法挺一致的
- Yeah. Lunch orders... - We share a creative thread, you know.
只要她不要再因为手工船上没有扭扭薯条而唧唧歪歪 就还挺好
As long as she doesn't freak out when the craft doesn't have curly fries, we're cool.
扭扭薯条的那种调料那么好吃 应该给各种薯条都配上啊
Okay, well, that spice on curly fries should be on all fries, it's so good.
等等 这可以写一首歌♥
Wait. That is a song.
绝对可以写首歌♥ 快来个人记一下
That should be a song. Someone write that down.
♪ 扭扭薯条的调料包 坠坠好吃应该配给所有薯条 ♪
♪ Ain't nothin' better than a curly spice. On straight fries would be erreally nice ♪
"坠坠"
"Erreally"?
-坠坠 对啊 -没有这个单词
- Erreally, yeah. - That's not a word.
什么叫没这个单词
What do you mean, it's not a word?
单词是活的 会呼吸的 这才有意义啊
Words are living and breathing things. That's how words work.
这不是这么用的
No, that's not how words work.
你只要张嘴 就在说单词
If you're speaking, and you're saying it,
-这就是法律意义上的单词 -你又不是作词人
-That's a word, by law. -You're not a lyricist.
要是我不尝试怎么能当作词人呢
How can I be a lyricist if I don't try?
-我可是学嘻哈的 -你学了什么课啊
- I study hip-hop. - What course do you take?
街头风格
The streets.
肯定是场大灾难
Yeah, this is gonna be a disaster.
-我加入 -不用谢
- I'm in. - You're welcome.
是你在唱歌♥吗
That's you singing?
我还以为是有人在给野猫打乳洞呢
I thought a feral cat was getting its nipples pierced.
真搞笑
Ha ha ha. Very funny.
给动物穿洞是违法的
It's actually illegal to pierce an animal.
五年级的时候我带着达斯蒂去商场 结果他们说不能给动物打洞...
I took Dusty to the mall when I was in fifth grade and they told me not to pierce animals...
这是到底是什么地方
What exactly is this place?
感觉这里住着中产阶级宜家爱好者的鬼魂
It feels like it's haunted by the ghost of middle-class ikea shoppers.
每次我爸妈要赶走房♥客的时候
When my parents evict somebody,
就会把他们的行李全丢在这儿
They take all their stuff and dump it here.
看 还有个孩子呢 开玩笑的
Look, a baby. Just kidding.
我们要不要在外面阳光下拍摄啊
You know what? Maybe we should shoot outside in the sunlight,
感觉这里光线对我不太友好
'cause the lighting in here is not working for me.
绝对不行
Absolutely not.
我已经想好怎么拍了 按我的方法来
I've got a vision for this, and it's gotta happen my way.
行 用你的视角 大导演
All right, your vision, Scorsese,
但这套设备可贵了
But this equipment is very expensive,
所以不要把食物和饮料放得太近
So I don't want any food or drink near it.
-那... -没错 包括妙脆角
- What about... - Yes, that includes bugles.
这可是喜剧俱乐部的摄像机 百分百有人在上面吐过
I mean it's a comedy club camera. It's 100% been vomited on.
不要不尊重工作人员
Hey, don't disrespect our crew.
抓住了
Gotcha.
好了 好了
All right, all right, all right, and also.
请勿打闹 警告一次 艾丝特
No horseplay, and that's your warning, Esther.
-她先动手的 -你先动手的 警告一次
- She started it. - You started it. That's your warning.
好了 车间里有三成的意外都是因为追逐打闹
Listen, 30% of all workplace accidents are due to horseplay.
那剩下的七成呢 我从来没去过什么车间
What's the other 70%? I've never been in a workplace.
算得真快 佩服佩服
Quick math. I'm impressed.
是打架斗殴 好了 我们把设备装在那边吧
Roughhousing. Now, I think we should set up down there.
怎么没有安全出口的标记啊
There's no visible exit signs around here.
不行 不能改变场景
No, we're not changing the set, guys.
我说了 这是我的视角 没得商量
Like I said, this is my vision. No compromises.
随便 要是出事了 就等着去陪审团面前说吧
Fine. Maybe if someone gets hurt, a jury will see this thing.
好吧 开始吧
Okay, so, let's get started.
艾丝特 你先去妆发
Esther, I need you to get into wardrobe,
我去帕克的休息室确认一下
I'm gonna go to Parker's green room and check in on him.
帕克还有休息室 我也要休息室
Parker has a green room? I need a green room.
合约里我写得很清楚 要最惠国待遇
Dude, I put it in our contracts, most favored nations.
虽然不知道是什么意思
And I don't know exactly what that means,
不过"今夜娱乐"[美国娱乐新闻]里提过 那我就要
But I heard it on Entertainment Tonight, and I need it.
你别说我 你明明说要给大家准备饮料
Look, dude, you promised to get soda for everyone,
却没带 你还违约呢
and you didn't. That's a breach of contract.
你怎么知道我包里没饮料
How do you know there's not soda in my bag?
你违约 你违约...
Breach of contract, breach of contract...
我是为你们的健康着想才故意没带的
I forgot intentionally 'cause I care about your health.
帕克 怎么还没换好衣服
Parker, why aren't you in wardrobe?
经典的斯卡造型啊
Signature ska look, man.
格纹鞋 高尔夫袜 细领带
Checkered shoes, golf socks, skinny tie.
我们说好的呀 你现在怎么跟马龙·白兰度[影帝]似的
We discussed this. Why are you Marlon Brando-ing me right now?
马龙·白兰度是斯卡乐队吗
Is Marlon Brando a ska band?
不是 他在片场很难搞
No. He was just difficult on set,
特别是拍"拦截人魔岛"[1996年美国电影]那会儿
Especially on The Island of Dr. Moreau.
我就穿这身
This is what I'm wearing.
那我...
Let me just...
帕克
Parker.
-别舔我 -我没有要舔你
- Don't lick me. - I'm not licking you.
你这跟舔我没差
You're basically licking me.
好吧 算你走运 斯卡乐的第一要义就是随时都有多准备一套背带
Okay. You're lucky the first rule of ska is always have an extra set of suspenders.
现在没有人会知道斯卡了
Nobody knows what ska is anymore.
帕克 小家伙 他们会知道的
Parker, my baby, they will, okay?
听话 你新爹肯定会特别以你为荣 放心好了
Just help me out a little, and your new dad's gonna be super proud of you. Okay? All right?
我做什么罗德尼都喜欢
Rodney loves everything that I do.
都还好吗
Everything okay?
还好 不过得帮他穿下服装
Yeah, he just needed some wardrobe help.
连鲍威都有化妆师
You know, even Bowie had a makeup girl.
好了 要我去哪儿
Okay, where do you want me?
珍珠会不会太多了
Are the pearls too much?
这其实是我在宠物店买♥♥的猫玩具
They're actually a cat toy I found at a pet shop.
艾丝特 你的人设是道德败坏的摇滚迷妹 不是你这样的
Esther, the character breakdown said rock groupie with questionable morals. That is not this.
我知道 可我不能在12岁男孩面前跳艳舞啊
I know, but, I can't sexy dance around 12-year-old boys.
我要找个保姆的工作 懂了吗
I'm a babysitting entrepreneur, okay?
今天 我要扮演有责任心的看护人
Today, I'm playing the role of the responsible caregiver.
不好 这主意不好
I hate that. I just hate that idea.
多好啊 在场的家长都想雇我当保姆
It's gonna be great. All the parents will hire me to be their babysitter,
到时候我就能坐第一排听蕾哈娜演唱会了
And then, I'm front row at Rhianna.
拜托你 我想把MV拍得很酷
Come on, man, I'm trying to make my music video look cool, okay?
你这样我根本酷不起来 还弄得像支保姆广♥告♥
The way to not do that is by also making it a nanny commercial.
我立场坚定
I'm putting my foot down.
你才穿33码的鞋 能有多坚定
You wear a size four. Putting your foot down, what does that accomplish?
大♥法♥官金斯柏格就穿33码的鞋
Ruth Bader Ginsburg wears a size four,
她立场总够坚定了吧
And she puts her foot down all the time,
-从不动摇 -快开始吧 天快黑了
- And it never budges. - Gotta do this. Losing daylight.