一起单身（2018）

-轻轻收笔 -轻轻收笔
- Ease the pressure. - Ease the pressure.
写得不错
Nice. Very nice. Not bad.
你在学写花体字吗 真有用
Learning calligraphy? It's a useful skill.
你帮我写封情感炽烈的信给托马斯·杰斐逊[美国开国元勋之一]吧
I need you to write a strongly worded letter to Thomas Jefferson, please.
做梦吧你 我正在给要来聚会的姑娘写名牌呢
Benji, no, I'm actually finishing up the name tags for my all-girl sleepover weekend.
你不是那种聚会型女生好不好
Come on. You're not a group-of-friends type of gal, okay?
你交朋友 都是从别人朋友堆里挖角个最弱的来
I've seen how you thrive, and it's when you find the weakest one in the herd and poach.
这次不一样 去年我在莉茲的单身周末派对上认识了她们
This is different. Last year, I met these girls at Lizzy's bachelorette weekend,
我们相见恨晚 迸发感情
and we just clicked, there was something there.
我策划了一年才邀请她们过来
I've been waiting the whole year to invite them over,
联络感情 稳固我在她们闺蜜圈中的地位
and reconnect and secure my spot in their friend group.
所以你们都要去城里
And you're all going out on the town
让他们的孩子玩你的玩具吗
while their kids stay here and playwith your toys?
很明显你不了解女孩子过夜是怎么一回事
Clearly, you've never been to a girls' sleepover, okay?
我们要挖掘内心的童真
We are going to tap into our inner child,
好好放松 相互了解
and let loose and get to known each other.
我们还准备了彩胶 金粉 身体乳 辣妹组合的专辑
We've got puffy paints, glitter, body shimmer, Spice Girls.
都比上次更有趣 更年轻 更性感
Each thing more fun and youthful and flirty than the last.
老铁 要是你把吸引这些路人甲路人乙的一半精力
Dude, if you put half the energy you put into getting random girls to like you
用来剃剃腋毛 去去狐臭...
into shaving your happy trail or...
这些妹子不是路人
These girls are not random.
她们是莉茲的闺蜜
These are Lizzy's best friends,
莉茲是我们的女王 是我们的领袖
and Lizzy is our queen and our leader,
是她发现了我
and she discovered me, okay?
她是雪儿 我就是苔
She's the Cher and I'm the Tai.
独领风♥骚♥: 讲述每天穿着不同的名牌服装上学的雪儿替穿着不够时髦的转学学生苔改头换面
是电影"独领风♥骚♥"里的梗 我们今晚要一起看
That's a Clueless reference. We're gonna watch the movie tonight.
-你就好好待在房♥间里 -什么鬼
- Stay in your room. - What?
你在我家还安排我的活动 瞎说什么呢
You're not allocating my own house to me. What are you talking about?
感谢遵守之前我们商量好的住房♥活动安排
Thank you for abiding by the rules of the house calendar, as we previously agreed upon.
我就没答应过什么东西
I never agreed to anything.
-太蠢了 -我会向你发邮件确认 并抄送给我自己
-This is stupid. - I'm gonna e-mail you to confirm, CC myself.
不要
No!
这是在干啥
What is happening?
不好意思 这是非公开的私人舞蹈排练
Excuse me, this is a closed, private dance rehearsal.
你有事吗
Can I help you?
你不先拉伸拉伸 踝关节怎么有力气跳这些舞
You don't have the ankle strength to just dance like that without stretching first.
我知道我一直嘲笑你脚踝胖
I know I joke and say you have cankles but
但你还是很瘦弱的
but you're frail.
我不需要拉伸
I don't need to stretch,
因为我的身体从五年级舞蹈课起 就牢牢记住了这套动作
because my body knows this routine by heart since the fifth grade talent show.
今晚我要叫来聚会的闺蜜跳舞
And tonight, I'm teaching it to all my girlfriends
所以你别打扰我
who are coming over, so no interruptions.
我今晚有安排了 你就别操心了
I've got plans tonight, so don't worry about it.
你也别来打扰我们 对 我们
You don't bother us. Yeah, I said us.
我前女友凯特琳要来几天
My ex Caitlyn's in town for a few days.
你不能因为你参加夏令营的时候很想亲人家 就说她是你前女友
You can't call someone your ex just because you really wanted to kiss them at summer camp.
你没看见我和她之间的化学反应
You didn't see our chemistry, alright?
夏令营爱恋就是一触即发
Summer camp love is really intense.
你不理解 是因为你为父母离婚焦虑
You don't understand that 'cause you have mom-dad separation anxiety.
我小时候也有夏日韵事好吗
I had my own childhood summer fling, okay?
公共泳池那个高大的救生员马特
Matt the husky lifeguard in the public pool
总是给我免费的鸡腿 炸鸡和冰淇淋
always gave me free drumsticks, chicken and ice cream.
这感觉是个坏救生员啊 他很结实
Sounds like a bad lifeguard; he's husky, and giving people food
还给游泳的人吃东西 都不太好
while they're swimming. Double no-no.
和旧相识重新联络感情真的很难
It's really hard to reconnect with people from the past
你有计划吗
Do you have a plan?
告诉她我当时的感受吧 说不定 她现在就喜欢上我了呢
Tell her how I felt back then, and then maybe, she'll like me now?
你要表白 你现在还没点这个技能呢
Communicate your feelings? You don't have that skill set.
也许吧 但我有超棒的迷幻药
I guess not, but I got really high quality psychedelics,
希望能帮我放松放松
and I'm hoping that'll loosen me up.
我看了她的色拉布[照片分享社交应用] 她好像去过很多摇滚乐团的演唱会
I saw on her Snapchat that she goes to a lot of jam band concerts.
天哪 班吉
My God, Benji!
她喜欢11分钟的歌♥
She likes 11-minute songs.
我想我可能比那好点吧
I figure I'm not as bad as that.
你知不知道九♥成♥嗑药的人都会死啊
Don't you know that 90% of the people who try drugs will eventually die?
我们就磕一点点
We're just gonna micro-dose.
没什么 就当是一支强力的抗抑郁药吧
It's nothing, it's like a strong antidepressant.
班吉 我在救你好不好
Benji, I'm trying to save your life, okay?
不好意思 这有个小鸭子的视频
I'm sorry, there's this baby duck video
这个网友发在Ins故事里的 超可爱
that this girl put on her Instagram story. It's so cute.
等下 我也想看
Wait, I wanna see the baby duck.
给我看下小鸭子视频
Show me the baby duck video.
欢迎啊 我还做了T恤
Hey, guys, welcome. I made T-shirts.
希望你们喜欢
I hope you guys like everything.
杰茜
Jess!
太棒了
My God!
你能来真的太高兴了 这是你的T恤
I am so happy you're here. Here's your shirt.
谢谢
Cool. Thank you.
我看你考过了律师证
Yeah. Um, I saw you passed the bar.
你太牛逼了
I'm so proud of you.
你怎么知道的
How do you know that?
我昨天才查到的
I just found out last night.
这些信息都是公开的
Well, that information's all public.
我大学选修了调查报道的课
I took a course in college on investigative journalism.
-那很厉害啊 -是啊
- That's nice. - Yeah.
-你真很漂亮 -谢谢 你也是
- You look really pretty. - Thanks. So do you.
-谢谢 -这里真有趣
- Thanks. - This is really fun.
谢谢 开米
Thank you. Cammy!
这是你的T恤
Here's your shirt.
你的歌♥唱事业怎么样了
How's the singing career going?
找到经纪人了吗
Did you get an agent yet?
我是会计
I'm an accountant.
我知道 只是当初在莉茲的单身派对上
I know. I just meant at Lizzy's bachelorette weekend,
你唱了首"宛如处♥女♥"[麦当娜歌♥曲] 太惊艳了
you sang "Like A Virgin," and it was so good,
我就跟第一次听这首歌♥一样
it was like I was hearing the song for the very first time.
就想处♥女♥一样... 算了
I was like a virgin to the... forget it.
税务季节要到了 你一定忙得晕头转向的
You're probably so swamped with tax season approaching.
没有 已经搞完了
No, it just ended.
他们不经常说吗 哪里都有税务季节
Well, you know what they say. It's always tax season somewhere.
好吧 我给你带了这个
Yeah. I brought you this.
把酒打开吧
Ooh, let's open that up.
是啊
Yes!
其实吧...
Actually, um...
其实我打算这周不喝酒的
Actually, I was thinking we would do a sober weekend,
这样的话会更好玩一点
just 'cause it's usually more fun that way.
我做了甜柠檬汁
Um, I made stevia lemonade.
所以这周不喝酒吗
So there's no drinking this weekend?
我只是不想这样
I just want to avoid that thing
前一晚还觉得自己结交了超好的朋友
where you feel like you made a super strong connection,
结果第二天 大家就都说
and the next day, people are, like,
"这根本不算什么 我们当时醉得很"
"That didn't mean anything, we were drunk."
大家应该都明白我的意思吧
I think we're all on the same page.
等等 还有谁没来啊
Wait, who are we missing?
你们谁能联♥系♥下莉茲吗
Um, can someone text Lizzy?
她一直没回我的电子邀请函
She never responded to my evite,
但我相信她一定会来
but I'm sure she'll show up.
我没她的电♥话♥ 我们更喜欢发邮件
I don't have her number, we're more email pals.
艾丝特 你在开玩笑吗
Esther, is that, like, a messed-up joke or something?
怎么了 好笑吗
Why? Is it funny?
莉茲去世了
Lizzy's dead.
说得跟真的一样
As if.
我没开玩笑
No, I'm not kidding.
她走了
She's gone.
什么
Excuse me.
八个月前的事
It was about eight months ago.
没人告诉你吗
No one told you?
我知道
No. I know.
我知道
I know.
所以我才叫你们来
And that's why I have brought you all here,