Sometimes we sit too close to each other on the bench,
有时候我们在琴凳上坐得太近了
and our side-butts touch.
屁♥股♥侧面会贴在一起
It's ac... it's actually my friend Jimmy's house.
这其实是我朋友吉米的房♥子
He let me sleep here because I was homeless...
他让我住在这因为我无家可归
Dude, this is fantasy.
老兄 这是角色扮演
Oh, right. Uh...
对哦
Yeah, this is my house.
没错 的确是我的房♥子
Which I bought with a mortgage... money loan.
我用抵押贷款买♥♥的
Yeah, well, I just moved to town to be a YouTube star.
我搬到这里来是为了成为网红
Don't you love my widdle baby voice, Daddy?
难道你不爱我的娃娃音吗 爹地
Oh, shit. Sorry.
该死 抱歉
Hey, troopmate.
喂 大兵
What happens in the foxhole stays in the foxhole, right?
发生在散兵坑里的事都留在散兵坑 对吧
Shit. Sorry. Ugh.
该死 对不起
I'm not very good at this, which is weird,
我不太擅长这个 按理说不应该
because my character work
因为我就是因为擅长角色扮演
is what got me very close on three different basic cable
才差点上了三个不同的基本有线电视台的
hidden camera prank shows.
隐藏摄像机整人节目
Let's try again.
我们再试一次
No, no. It-It's okay.
不 不 不用了
Is it me?
是我的错吗
Is this because I farted in front of you the other day?
是因为我那天在你面前放屁了吗
Some of my new medications
我吃的一些新药
apparently can have libido-interfering characteristics.
很显然有影响性♥欲♥的药性
Well, can't you just get them to switch them?
你不能让他们给你换种药吃吗
They have been switching them
他们已经给我换过了
and switching them and switching them and switching them.
换来换去 换来换去 好多次了
Well, your body probably just has to get used to it.
大概只是你的身体需要一段适应期
I mean, they wouldn't have you on something
他们肯定不会给你吃
that makes you unable to have sex forever.
让你永远无法做♥爱♥的药
Of course not.
当然不会
And, until you figure it out,
在你找到解决办法前
there's probably a pill you could take...
你也许可以靠吃药来...
No, I'm not taking another pill.
不 我不想再多吃一种药了
I can't keep taking more pills and more pills
我不能再继续吃更多的药了
and more pills, okay?
不能吃了 好吗
Never mind. I'm sorry.
算了 很抱歉
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
对不起 对不起
It's just hard.
真的太难熬[硬]了
No, it's not. Bad, Dorothy.
不硬啊 烂梗啊 多洛希
This door list is as white as your ass!
这清单空白得跟你的白人屁♥股♥一样
Where's all the goddamn people on this bitch, bitch?
清单上的人呢
You told me not to publicize it!
是你叫我不要宣传的
To normal people, stupid!
不要对普通人宣传 蠢货
Where's all the media dudes and the influencers?
那些搞媒体的和有影响力的大腕呢
Our actor and athlete fans?
我们的演员和运动员粉丝呢
Where the hell is CP3 and Marcelo Huertas
克里斯·保罗和马塞罗·胡尔塔斯呢
and Bradley Cooper? Bradley Cooper loves us!
布莱德利·库珀呢 布莱德利·库珀爱我们
We got hella wasted with dude backstage of Elephant Man.
我们在《象人》的后台和他喝得醉醺醺的
You remember that? Mmhmm.
你还记得吗 嗯
Where is Bradley Cooper, Gretch?
布莱德利·库珀在哪 格雷琴
Where is Bradley Cooper?!
布莱德利·库珀在哪
You forbade me from inviting anyone!
你不准我邀请任何人来的
Not important people!
没说不让你邀请大腕
I hate you! This is sabotage!
我真恨你 你这是怠工
Quick! Social media tsunami!
快点 发挥社交媒体的力量
Yo. What's up, fans?
你们好吗 粉丝们
It's your boy, Sam. Come down to the Smear, now.
我是你们亲爱的山姆 快到污迹酒吧来
Secret show. Hella shrimps!
秘密演出 有好多虾吃
I love you.
我爱你们
It's no use. We only got 20 minutes!
没用的 我们只剩20分钟了
I cannot have snaps of an empty-ass show all over the Internet!
我不能让演出现场空无一人的照片 在网上流传
Get bodies in here.
搞点人过来
I don't care how!
我不管你用什么手段
Shit!
靠
And don't forget Bradley Cooper!
别忘了布莱德利·库珀
Lindsay.
琳赛
You look positively ethereal.
你看上去好优雅
I am so excited
我好激动啊
to open my special prize and find out
要拆开我的特别奖品
what we're doing tonight.
看看我们今晚要做什么
"Red Napkin"?
红餐巾
Paul, this dress doesn't have a butt.
保罗 这件裙子没有后面
It's an apron.
那是件围裙
A Napron?
围裙
Red Napkin is the finest in seasonal, pre-portioned meals
红餐巾是当季预先分装好的三餐中最好的
delivered fresh, thrice weekly,
运送新鲜食材 每周三次
that you cook at home together.
你们就可以一起在家做饭了
My present is cooking?
我的礼物是做饭吗
Cooking as a family.
一家人一起做饭
Family.
一家人
You don't seem excited.
你好像并不是很激动
I thought you were taking me out, like a fun party date.
我以为你会带我出去 参加好玩的派对之类的
We can't party anymore. You're pregnant.
我们不能再去派对玩了 你有孕在身
Like we talked about.
就像我们之前谈过的一样
This is the next phase of our life.
这是我们人生的下一个阶段
And we both want that.
而且我们都想要这样
Gracias. Gracias, mi hija.
谢谢 谢谢 我的孩子
You speak Spanish?
你竟然会说西班牙语
Who doesn't speak Spanish?
西班牙语谁不会说啊
Me. Edgar.
我啊 埃德加啊
Look, Jimmy, if you're that freaked out,
吉米 如果你这么不安
we can just unsay it, okay? Poof! Unsaid.
我们可以撤回那些话 好吗 撤回了
I'm not gonna start pretending.
我不会假装的
I might as well start pretending there's a person
我还不如假装有个人
who lives in the clouds who cares whether we survive cancer or not.
生活在云端之上 却关心我们的死活
We are strangers, Gretchen.
我们是陌生人 格雷琴
Bullshit. We know each other.
放屁 我们认识彼此
Well, not really.
并非如此
We live together, we trust, blindly.
我们生活在一起 我们盲目信任彼此
But it's based on what? It's actual madness,
但这是基于什么 这简直就是发神经
willingly living with a wild animal but one with thumbs
自愿和一头野兽住在一起 但它有利爪
who can steal your money and hurt you emotionally.
能窃取你的钱财 伤害你的感情
So what changed? Why are you suddenly so freaked out now?
是有什么改变了吗 为什么你突然吓坏了呢
What? I don't like that. Stop doing that!
搞什么 我不喜欢你这表情 给我打住
That's why you've been asking me questions all day?
所以你才会缠着我问了一整天的问题吗
You never cared enough to ask before.
你以前都不在乎 懒得问的
Sam was right.
山姆说的对
You are showing me, not telling me.
你在用行动对我表示 而非开口告诉我
Listen, those words--
听着 那三个字
they're like a-a verbal contract.
那就像是一份 口头协议
They're a promise.
那是种承诺
And I am not ready to make that promise.
我还没准备好做出这种承诺
If "I love you" Is like a promise,
如果"我爱你"算是种承诺
it's just a promise to, like, try real hard.
那只是一种 用尽全力去在一起的承诺
Doesn't mean you can't fail.
并不意味着你不能失败
It doesn't?
并不意味着吗
Have you met me? The only way I can stomach
你难道才认识我吗 我能忍♥受这一切的唯一原因
any of this is knowing I can just bail at any time.
就是内心清楚 我随时都可以退出
We can just... bail?
我们可以 退出吗
Yeah. I always have one foot out the door.
当然啦 我一直都有一只脚在门外准备撒腿跑
With everything.
对任何事都是这样
Especially with us.
尤其是对于我们
So you might just suddenly bounce?
所以你有可能会突然抽身走人
Any minute.
随时可能
I love you.
我爱你
Jimmy.
吉米呀
Come here.
过来
Listen,
听着
I'm sorry for earlier. I reacted badly.
我想为之前的事道歉 我的反应很糟糕
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