我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst S03E13
Part 2
Oct. 14, 2020, 4:46 p.m.
Have a seat, Mr. Benson will be right with you.
请坐 本森先生马上会见你
Oh, uh, hey.
对了
What happened to the other assistant?
之前那个助理呢
She died.
她死了
Mugging in broad daylight.
光天化日之下抢劫
Fortunately, the guy she mugged is gonna be fine.
幸运的是 她抢的那个人没有大碍
It's a joke.
开玩笑的
It was stomach cancer. She went quick.
是胃癌 她死得很突然
Hey, can I ask you a question?
我能问你个问题吗
Do you like your job?
你喜欢你的工作吗
It's pretty great.
非常棒
It really suits my lifestyle.
很符合我的生活方式
I just sit around all day, answer some calls.
就整天闲坐着 接接电♥话♥
You're supposed to throw away your personal food at the end of the week,
你应该在一周后把没吃完的食物都扔掉
but a lot of people don't.
但很多人都不会扔
Gwen might be done with that açaí bowl,
格温也许不会再吃甜品碗了
but Dutch isn't.
但达奇可不会
Well, would you ever give up your job for a relationship?
你会为了一段感情放弃自己的工作吗
Well, that is completely out of the blue.
这问题可真是太突然了
Edgar.
埃德加
Come on in. Thanks.
进来 谢了
What's up?
还好吗
Uh, listen, Doug.
是这样 道格
I can't do the show.
我没法做这个喜剧了
My girlfriend... Sloppyblowjob Dorothy?
我女朋友... 口♥交♥贱女多洛希吗
W-What? Um...
什 什么...
A-Anyway, she's...
总之 她...
she's been going through a really tough time,
她在经历一个很艰难的时期
and I feel like my having this opportunity
我觉得我得到这次机会
is making her feel worse.
会让她更不好受
I see. Well, I'll be sad to see you go.
明白 你退出我会很惋惜的
Dutch, can you get me UTA?
达奇 帮我联♥系♥下联合人才公♥司♥
I need some lower level writer résumés.
我需要一些低水平编剧的简历
I don't know, maybe I'm making a mistake.
我也说不好 也许这是错误的决定
I'm supposed to be supporting her, but really, by quitting,
我应该支持她 但如果真的退出
I'm not standing up for my needs,
我就没有维护我的需求
which is ultimately bad for our relationship.
这最终对我们的感情也很不好
So, maybe I shouldn't quit.
所以 我或许不该退出
Oh, cool!
很好
So, you just came into my office to not quit.
所以你来我办公室就是说不想退出的
That's a pretty good use of my time.
真是完全"没有"浪费我的时间啊
So now I get to go to your house with a sandwich
所以现在我该拿个三明治去你家
and be like, "I don't want this sandwich."
然后说"我不想要这个三明治了"
But then say, "I want this sandwich," And then explain why?
接着说"我想要这个三明治" 然后解释缘由
So, I get to do that now? Sure.
所以我可以这么做了吗 当然
That's actually a really great bit.
那其实是个很不错的桥段
Get a camera, shoot it over the weekend.
找个摄像机 在周末把它拍了
I'll get Andy Richter to play the sandwich
我会让安迪·瑞切特出演三明治
and I'll see you on Monday.
我们周一见吧
All right.
好的
Cool.
很好
All right, man.
好了 伙计
I just e-mailed Doug my letter of resignation.
我刚把辞职信发给道格了
What? I'm willing to try this with you, dude.
什么 我愿意和你试一试 哥们
I really don't think I'm gay,
我不觉得我是同性恋
but is my life so perfect
但真是因为我的生活太完美
that I can afford to be closed off?
足以让我一直思想封闭吗
And when you think about it,
其实仔细想想
homosexuality really suits my lifestyle--
同性恋真心符合我的生活方式
sitting around,
闲坐着
chugging cold ones, playing vids... What? No.
喝喝啤酒 打打游戏 什么 不
Assume you got to suck a dick once in a while, but whatever.
可能时不时得舔个鸡♥巴♥ 不过也无所谓
I've put weirder things in my mouth.
我含过更奇葩的东西
I-I-I was talking about me and my girlfriend.
我说的是 我和我女朋友
What?
什么
Oh, no!
糟了
I just told Doug Benson I quit
我刚告诉道格·本森我不干了
and to kiss my gay ass!
还叫他舔我的基佬屁♥股♥
He's been nothing but nice to me!
他一直对我很好啊
Why do I keep doing this?
我为什么总是这样
Hey-hey, Doug.
听我说 道格
What the hell is going on?
这他妈怎么回事
It was I'm not gay. Are you kidding?
这...我不是同性恋 开玩笑吗
I mean, I might be gay, but I'm not-- I don't think I am.
我是说我可能是同性恋 但我...我应该不是
I can't get an Uber to pick me up.
叫不到优步车来接我了
I think my rating's too low. What's yours?
应该是我的评分太低了 你的呢
Oh, bad. Apparently, they don't like it
很糟 显然他们不喜欢
when you call multiple companies
你同时叫多个公♥司♥的司机
and make them race to pick you up.
叫他们比赛 看谁最先到
Becca's gonna be the worst mom.
贝卡将是最糟糕的妈妈
You can tell just by looking at a kid,
你只需要看看孩子
if they have good or bad parents.
就能知道他们的爸妈是好是坏
Well, how?
怎么看出
Okay.
好吧
See that kid-- black dress socks,
看那个孩子 黑丝♥袜♥那个
stained shirt?
脏兮兮的T恤
His parents don't give a shit.
他的父母一点都不关心他
Now, that one with the perfect fade, pressed shirt, he's totally hot.
再看那个 发型完美 衬衫平整 帅呆了
His parents care a shit ton.
他父母肯定相当关心他
When I'm a mom, my kid is gonna look fly as hell
我要是当妈妈 我的孩子一定时髦炸了
'cause I'm gonna care the shit out of that kid.
因为我会关心死那个孩子
That kid's not that hot.
那孩子没多帅
Now, that kid,
再看那个孩子
he's tanned a perfect bronze,
晒了一身完美的古铜色
his bod is banging.
身材超棒
He doesn't even have a six-pack.
他连6块腹肌都没有
Check out midriff.
看那个露腰的
Oh! That ass!
哇 这美臀
Like it was carved out of marble.
仿佛是大理石雕琢出的
I think you two should leave.
我觉得你们两个该走了
How dare you? Who even becomes a thirdgrade teacher anyhow?
好大胆子 什么人才会去当三年级老师啊
This has nothing to do with you.
这和你没有一点关系
Oh, I'm not nurturing enough to be a Kindergarten teacher,
我不够关怀孩子 当不了幼儿园老师
This is between us and the urchins.
这是我们和孩子间的事
but I can quite master compound sentences.
但我对复合句相当了解
Why don't you just go back to your job, you old cow?
何不继续做你的事去 你这个老母牛
Where do I belong?
我属于哪里
Hey, my therapist is at Edendale.
我的心理医生在伊顿代尔呢
Want to come watch me yell at her?
想不想去看我吼她
You mean, instead of going to the murder place?
你是说不去犯罪现场了
Oh, hell no. On the way.
当然不是 顺路去看
I just need you to see how awesome I've gotten at heckling her.
我就是想让你看看 我在黑她时有多棒
I found out she has diabetes--
我发现她有糖尿病
really opened things up,
真是茅塞顿开
high-ass sugar-having bitch.
高血糖的婊♥子♥
Huh, then we'll stop by the house and pick up the car.
那我们顺便回下房♥子把车取上
Can you at least give me some money up-front to get started?
你能不能至少先给我点钱让我起步
Please.
拜托了
Did you just actually open up a bank app and deposit it
你刚刚是打开银行应用把钱存了
or did you just take a photo of it?
还是单纯地拍了张照片
What are you talking about?
你在说什么
Did you observe people using e-check deposit
你是不是看过别人用电子支票存款
and now, as a result,
结果 现在
think you can just take a photo
你觉得你只需要拍个照片
and it magically goes into your bank account?
钱就会神奇地进入你的银行账户
Oh, my God.
我的天啊
This is so freeing.
真是太解脱了
I can finally say it.
我终于可以说出来了
You are so stupid!
你真是蠢爆了
Why does no one talk about how dumb she is?
怎么没人谈论她有多蠢呢
我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst
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