我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst S03E01
Part 2
Oct. 14, 2020, 4:42 p.m.
without thinking about your penis.
且尽量不去想你的下♥体♥
Béchamel? Uh, I'm done.
白汁酱要吗 我不吃了
One, two, three. I already have...
一二三 我已经喝了...
Okay.
好吧
Let's do Lemon Drops next.
下一轮来柠檬汁鸡尾酒
Don't you have work?
你不用上班吗
Have you seen what I do?
你见过我的工作吗
Now that you mention it, I've never known.
说起来 我还真不知道
How does it work? Like, with Sam. Who pays you?
怎么运作的 比如你负责山姆 谁给你发工资
The company for which I work.
我效力的公♥司♥
A company hired you?
有公♥司♥肯雇你
They interviewed you and then offered you a job?
他们面试你 然后给你工作
Let's try Cosmos next, like ladies.
下一轮我们喝大都会鸡尾酒 像淑女一样
Cosmos.
大都会鸡尾酒
Why are you asking me questions?
你为什么问我问题
It's just funny.
说起来很好笑
With this insane revelation that,
当我有了这个惊人的发现
for some reason, you don't wash your legs.
不知为何 你竟然不洗大腿
No need. Water falls on them.
不需要 水会流过大腿
Oh, my God.
我的天啊
Anyway, had you not said anything,
总之 要是你什么都不说
I might have never known this fact.
我也许永远不会知道这个事实
So? Chug.
所以呢 干了
So? The unknowable is terrifying, Gretchen.
所以 不明的真♥相♥令人恐惧 格雷琴
That's why humanity explores.
所以人类才不断探索
To shine a light on the frightening dark that surrounds us.
给我们周围可怕的黑暗洒下一丝光亮
Thus, immediately upon learning that you don't wash your legs,
因此 在得知你不洗大腿的一瞬间
itself unimportant--
这本身不重要
I'm now thrust into wondering: what else don't I know?
我不禁想到 还有什么是我不知道的
About me? Ooh, okay.
关于我的吗 好的
I dated two of the Baldwins.
我和鲍得温兄弟中的两人约会过
I competed in the U.S. Teen Nationals for show jumping.
我参加了全国青少年越障赛
In horsery? Yes, horsery.
马术吗 对 马术
For ten months,
有10个月
I did ink work for a professional counterfeiter.
我给专业造假♥币♥的做过画工
I've never eaten a blueberry.
我从没吃过蓝莓
They are doll eyes. Think about it.
它们很像娃娃的眼睛 想想看
Drink.
喝酒
How do I not know any of this?
这些我怎么一无所知
I can't do a cartwheel.
我做不了侧手翻
An owl tried to kill me at Bible camp.
圣经夏令营时 一只猫头鹰要杀我
What? Big sumbitch.
什么 大杂种
Sluiced right through the night air, silent as shit.
在黑夜中掠过 一声不响
I think there's still a scar if you want... No, no, no, no.
我觉得伤疤应该还在 你要... 不不不不
What kind of camp did you say?
你说是什么夏令营来着
Bible camp. See, my real problem is
圣经夏令营 真正的问题是
I was wearing a headband with a cute little mouse on it.
我当时戴着印有可爱小老鼠的头带
Gretchen, are you religious?
格雷琴 你信教吗
No!
不
I consider myself more generally spiritual.
我觉得我只是存有精神信仰而已
Drink.
喝酒
I am hammered!
我喝大了
Are you hammered?
你喝大了吗
You're the best.
你最棒了
I'm so glad you're my boyfriend.
我很庆幸你是我的男朋友
Look, I know we weren't gonna say it,
听着 我知道我们说不出口
but... screw it.
但是 管他呢
I love you, Jimmy.
我爱你 吉米
I love you. I knew it.
我爱你 我就知道
Psyche! Nice try, dummy.
上当了 想得美 傻蛋
I've had five shots.
我才喝了5杯酒
I could fly a plane after five shots. Bye.
我喝5杯去开飞机都没问题 拜拜
He doesn't remember saying it. Little punk-ass bitch.
他不记得自己说过了 那个小贱♥人♥
I've done tons of stuff drunk, and it all counts:
我酒后乱做过许多事 我从没不承认过
my wedding, driving school,
比如我的婚礼 去驾校
all my dentist appointments.
每次去看牙医
Getting vag-fected by Paul's wriggly little jizz monsters?
还有被保罗的小精虫们入侵了下♥体♥
No! Don't pinch me!
住手 别掐我
We are having this baby!
我们要把这孩子生下来
It's a fresh start. Stop!
这是个全新的开始 住手
You bitch! Quit it!
你个贱♥人♥ 别掐了
Stop it!
够了
We're supposed to be having a meeting
我们本该开会商量
about the secret reunion show tonight.
今晚的秘密重聚演出
You're early. It's still my lunch hour.
你们来早了 我午餐时间还没结束
I will eat those later.
我待会儿会捡起来吃的
You're not having this baby.
你不是真要把这孩子生下来吧
Unfortunately,
不幸的是
being keenly in tune with the human condition
我对人的身心状态感觉十分敏锐
means that after hearing this idiotic shit
那意味着在听你们叨逼叨这些屁话
for the past ten minutes,
整整十分钟后
I have thoughts.
我得出了结论
Bitch, he does not love you.
贱♥人♥ 他不爱你
Oh, goddamn it!
该死的
When you say "I love you,"
当人们说"我爱你"的时候
it's supposed to be romantic and/or highly sexual.
本该是很浪漫的 或者色♥欲♥满满的
Or when you're so overwhelmed
或者是你感到不知所措的时候
by what perfection is in front of you...
因为你面前的是这样一位完美的...
If you say the word "Jaclyn" one more time,
如果你再提起"杰奎琳"的名字哪怕一次
I will gag you with that raggedy-ass bandanna!
我就把你那块破头巾塞进你嘴里
I've never loved anyone.
我从没爱过任何人
I guess it's because I never felt worthy of love in return.
我猜那是因为我从未觉得自己值得被爱
Be the CEO of your own life, Gretch.
做自己人生的CEO 格雷琴
Don't wait for no one to say it to you.
别等着别人来说爱你
Every morning in the mirror, I purse my pillow lips up
每天早晨我都对着镜子 翘起自己丰满的双唇
and stare into my apple juice eyes, and I be like,
凝视自己苹果汁般的双眼 对自己说
"I love you.
"我爱你
"I love you, Sam.
我爱你 山姆
I love you!"
我爱你"
"Apple juice eyes"?
"苹果汁般的双眼"
Don't be trying to play like they ain't rich, delicious, apple juice.
别装作你不觉得我的双眼如苹果汁般甘醇味美
That's why no one loves you.
就是因为这样才没人爱你
Anyway, dudes don't say it with words,
话说回来 男人的爱不是用嘴说的
they say it with actions.
是用行动表现的
Other bitch, get out of here.
另外那个贱♥人♥ 给我滚出
We got to talk about the show.
我们得谈谈演出的事了
I am all over it, Sam.
我都搞定了 山姆
I have a press release ready to go.
我已经准备好了一份新闻发布稿
It's a secret show!
这是场秘密演出
No press release.
不许搞新闻发布
No industry whispers.
不许搞业内小道消息
Then how will people find out about it?
那人们怎么得知有这场演出啊
Real ballers' fans find out clandestine style and shit.
真正大牌的粉丝都会发现秘密演出的
Fetty Wap at the El Rey.
菲迪·瓦普在雷伊剧院的演出
Schoolboy Q on the roof of The Standard.
Schoolboy Q在标准酒店屋顶上的演出
Young Thug at Sufjan Steven's broth restaurant.
Young Thug在苏夫扬·史蒂文斯的汤馆的演出
No press. All packed.
没有媒体发布 却是爆满
Okay, but that's not actually how it works.
但实际上不是那么运作的
Gretch! No!
格雷琴 不行
It has to be pure.
必须是纯正的
It's a point of pride.
那涉及自尊的问题
Prove to the world we ain't never slipped.
向世界证明我们没走下坡路
Hello?
哪位
Hi.
你好
I was just babysitting next door,
我在给邻居家看小孩
and I got bored watching Hulu,
我看在线视频网站看得无聊了
like we millennials do.
我们千禧一代都这样
Oh, hi. Come in.
你好 请进
Geez, nice place.
你家房♥子真不错
Reminds me of my piano teacher's house.
让我想起了我钢琴老师家
我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst
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