我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst S03E13
Part 1
Oct. 14, 2020, 4:46 p.m.
"Simon and Kitty stood before
"萨蒙和凯蒂站在
"Pauline's crumbling fieldstone marker.
波琳的碎石墓碑前
"Moments later, in a nearby crypt,
片刻过后 在附近的一个地窖里
"Simon repeatedly plunged into Kitty,
萨蒙不停地进出凯蒂的身体
"The sounds of their passion
他们激♥情♥欢爱的声音
"Mixing with the wet summer air
与湿润的夏夜晚风
and the cicadas' desperate, deafening, doomed song."
以及夏蝉绝望喧扰又凄惨的歌♥声交织在了一起"
The end.
全书终
I inspired the ending!
结局是受我启发的哦
You should put in the part about pulling out
你应该描写一下他是体外射♥精♥的
so she doesn't have a ghost baby.
这样她才不会怀上鬼胎
Just kidding.
开玩笑的啦
I think it's perfect. I am so happy with it.
我觉得这简直完美 我非常满意
I mean, a theme that I hadn't planned on exploring
我原本没有打算探索的一个主题
was the fallacy of the very concept of the familial paradigm in art.
就是艺术中的家庭范式这一概念的谬误
I mean, the idea still persists
我是说 这个观念仍然坚称
that family, somehow, automatically prescribes closeness.
家庭就必然地与亲密相关
Family is portrayed as a safe harbor, but nay,
家庭被描述成安全的港湾 其实才不是
it is often the very Charybdis that yanks us to the fathoms.
它往往是神话里的女妖 会把我们拖下水
But not you, buddy. Not me.
但你不会 老兄 我才不会
I am post-family.
我是个后家庭主义者
You are looking, finally, at a truly free man.
你眼前的这位 终于成为了一个真正的自♥由♥人
Like Thoreau.
就像梭罗一样
Or the Unabomber.
或是大学炸♥弹♥客
So...
所以...
are we okay?
可以开始了吗
Oh, my God, do we really have to do thi...?
天呐 我们真要做这...
Nope, nope, just checking.
不不 只是问一下而已
Did you hear about this murder off Mulholland?
你有没有听说穆赫兰道上发生的一起谋杀案
What?
什么
It was four days ago.
就发生在4天之前
They found this girl.
他们发现了被害的女孩
And-- oh, that is gruesome!
而且...哦 太可怕了
"Murder, She Tweeted"?
@女博主与谋杀案
How do I not follow this account?
我怎么会没关注这个账号♥呢
Her head was chopped off.
她的头被砍下
Her blood was drained?
鲜血流干
Bloody symbols on the rocks?
石头上有血迹画成的符号♥
Jimmy!
吉米
This happened right near our house.
这就在我们家附近
It could've been me!
受害者也可能会是我
Can we go look? No way!
我们能去看看不 没门
It sounds very scary.
听上去挺吓人的
Jimmy.
吉米
Please?
求你了
Please.
求求你
Please?
求你了啦
Fine!
好吧
You creepy, creepy murder girl.
你这个变♥态♥的凶案痴迷者
Yay!
好耶
They say, when a murder scene is fresh,
有人说 如果凶杀刚发生不久
you can still smell the fear in the air.
你仍然可以在空气里嗅到恐惧的味道
And afterwards, we can swing by Echo Park and get paletas.
然后我们还可以绕道回声公园买♥♥点水果冰棒
Anyway, the show's called Doug Loves Sketches,
总之 节目的名字叫《道格爱喜剧》
and it's a full-time gig.
并且这是个全职工作
Like, this is what I'm doing for a living now.
现在这就是我的生计了
I'm a comedy writer.
我是名喜剧编剧
Can I get some salty black sauce for this egg rice?
能给我点酱油配这个鸡蛋饭吗
Yeah. Where's your food?
当然 你的早饭呢
Oh, I only have enough left for Jimmy.
剩下的只够给吉米吃了
Anyway, I'm super excited,
总之 我超激动
but I'm also kind of nervous to tell Dorothy.
但我也有点忐忑 不敢告诉多洛希
'Cause you're writing for an Internet show and nobody cares about that?
因为你在给一部无人问津的网剧写段子吗
She's been really low lately
她最近情绪特别低落
and this might hurt her feelings.
这可能会伤害到她
So what?
那又怎样
Brah, she's taking that "D" on the reg;
老兄 她就是个挨操的骚货
it's her job to support you.
支持你是她的责任
You got to speak up and tell people what you want.
你得把你想要的大声说出来 让大家知道
You are the master of your own destiny.
你就是自身命运的主宰
Don't be a martyr.
别做牺牲者
I was a martyr.
我以前就是个牺牲者
I almost martyred my husband,
我差点牺牲了我丈夫
but I didn't.
但我并没有
You're right, Lindsay.
你说得对 琳赛
I should put myself first.
我应该把自己放在首位
So,
那么
can I have some of your breakfast sushi?
能让我吃块你的早餐寿司吗
Sorry, I licked it all already.
不好意思 我都舔过了
This is gonna be so rad.
一定会超级刺♥激♥的
Maybe they marked where the body is
或许他们还标示了尸体的位置
and I can lie down in it
我能躺在那个轮廓线内
and experience her terror.
亲身体验到她的恐惧
Oh, my God, It's so ugly.
天呐 太丑了
It looks like the fox in the Nine Inch Nails video
看上去就像是九寸钉的MV里那只
that's being eaten by ants.
被蚂蚁蚕食掉的狐狸
It looks like it should be screaming at an old lady
它就像在朝奇异双胞胎乐团的MV里
in an Aphex Twin video.
那个老妇人尖叫
Why is its face so swollen?
脸怎么会这么肿啊
Did Becca give birth directly over a beehive?
贝卡是在马蜂窝上生的孩子吗
Even at an illegal baby mill, they'd be like,
即使在非法的接生作坊 他们也应该是
"Yeah, that's okay. We're good."
"没事儿 我们挺好哒"
Oh, shitsticks!
我靠
Jimmy, Five-O!
吉米 条子
Good spotting, Goose.
眼力不错 呆子 赶快跑
Yeah? 17 seconds. New record.
怎么样 17秒 新纪录
Okay.
很好
Okay.
好了
Page one-- preliminary settlement offer.
第一页 初步和解提议
You're supposed to write it on a piece of paper
你应该把它写在一张纸上
and slide it over.
然后进行滑动翻页
Watch.
瞧好了
Here's my initial offer.
这是我的初步提议
This is just a drawing of a cat.
你只是画了一只猫而已
It's just a starting point.
这只是个开始
It's called a negotiation.
这就叫"谈判"
Now, you go.
现在该你说了
My initial spousal support offer is $2,000.
关于配偶赡养费 我初步开2000美元
Accepted!
接受
$2,000 a month, Lindsay.
2000美元一个月 琳赛
I know, that's so much money.
我知道 好多钱哦
I accept.
我接受
Negotiations are over.
谈判结束
You know, you have to pay for your own apartment.
你得自己付公♥寓♥的房♥租
Great. How much are apartments, like two hundo?
很好 房♥租能有多少呢 两百块吗
So, that's good.
不错啊
No, Lindsay.
不 琳赛
It's bad.
很糟糕
It's really, really bad.
非常非常糟糕
I'm cucking you now.
现在是我对你不忠
I'm the hot wife.
我是性感人♥妻♥
I do not like this piece of paper.
我不喜欢这张纸
I'm finally getting what I want,
我终于得到自己想要的了
and what I want
我想要的
is to watch you burn.
就是看着你玩火自焚
Oh, yes.
没错
Burn!
燃烧
Okay. Page two-- 401K distributions.
好了 第2页 养老保险分配
Uh, hi. Uh, Edgar Quintero.
你好 我是埃德加·坤塔罗
I have a meeting with Doug. Oh, sure.
我和道格约好了见面 好的
我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst
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