我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst S03E11
Part 2
Oct. 14, 2020, 4:45 p.m.
I can't get through that.
这下我拿不到了
Fine.
好吧
I'm gonna go shake gifts, see if anything sounds expensive.
我去晃一晃礼物盒 看有没有值钱的
Jimmy.
吉米
This is my wife, Jaclyn.
这是我妻子 杰奎琳
Hi!
你好
What a dick. Don't worry, he's an asshole.
真是个混♥蛋♥ 别在意 他是个混球
Priscilla!
普莉希拉
Look at you!
瞧瞧你
What do you think? Amazing!
好看吗 美极了
Oh, thank you.
谢谢
Shitstain in the house!
施斯坦驾到
I love weddings.
我喜欢婚礼
Friends coming together.
好朋友欢聚一堂
Old couples falling in love again.
老夫妻重拾爱的滋味
Plus, you can totally steal a chair at a wedding.
而且你完全可以借机偷把椅子
I've done it so many times.
我试过很多次了
Most of my chairs are wedding chairs.
我家很多椅子都是婚礼用椅
What's going on?
怎么了
It's Doug Benson.
是道格·本森
He wants me to come up with five sketch ideas by tomorrow.
他想让我明天之前想出5个喜剧创意
I guess I better start brainstorming.
我最好开始集思广益了
Wait, you're gonna work at a wedding?
什么 你要在婚礼上工作
I don't have a choice, Dorothy.
我别无选择 多洛希
I mean, this is a huge opportunity.
这是一个绝好的机会
I-I got to nail it.
我必须抓住
Okay, let's see.
让我看看
Weddings, weddings.
婚礼 婚礼
Bride. Groom. Broom.
新娘 新郎 扫帚
Here comes... the broom?
扫帚闪亮登场
This might not take long after all.
也许不用花多少时间
Cool. So just go do your very important work,
好 去做你重要的工作吧
and I'll just wander around by myself, like a loser.
我自己四处游荡 像窝囊废一样
Hey! Lindsay!
嗨 琳赛
He has a job.
他有工作
How'd he get that?
他是怎么得到的
All right, I fired him to hire you.
好吧 我开除了他 选择了你
These aren't your words you're writing.
你写的不是你真心实意的词
What is that?
都是些什么鬼
How'd you get that? What?
你是怎么得到的 什么
I-I don't know what you're talking about.
我 我不知道你在说什么
Listen one more time.
再仔细听一遍
My client wants 100% ostrich feathers.
我的客户要纯天然的鸵鸟毛
I don't care. Just wait until they stick their heads in the ground
我不管 就等它们把脑袋扎进沙子里
and then slit their throats.
然后割破它们的喉咙
Hey, how'd you get that?
你是怎么得到的
My job?
工作吗
Well, I started a fashion blog.
我建了一个时尚博客
Then Tavi Gevinson retweeted me.
后来泰薇·盖文森转发了我的文章
Then I dressed Parker Posey for the Good Wife premiere.
我又为帕克·波西设计了《傲骨贤妻》首映礼服
Before I knew it, I was a stylist.
不知不觉 我竟成了造型师
I love your jacket, by the way. Thanks.
顺便说下 我喜欢你的外套 谢谢
My trick is I just buy a cheap jacket,
我的秘诀是买♥♥件便宜的外套
replace the buttons with doper ones,
然后把扣子换成更屌♥的
and tell everyone I got it in Italy.
再跟别人说是在意大利买♥♥的
But not Little Italy. The big Italy.
不是"小意大利" 是正经的大意大利
That's brilliant.
太厉害了
I really like your pocket square, too.
我也很喜欢你口袋里的方巾
Thanks. Those are my panties.
谢谢 那是我的内♥裤♥
I'm not joking.
我没开玩笑
What's up with you?
你们干什么呢
Hi, Gretchen.
嗨 格雷琴
Got fired as the best man.
不让我当伴郎了
Not that I care.
我又不在乎
Group's turning into a bunch of pussies anyway!
反正这帮人都快成一帮孬种了
Honey Nutz is getting his knuckles waxed
蜜蛋为了上《深夜扑克》好看
for his appearance on Poker After Dark.
要给手指做除毛
Shitstain getting married
施斯坦就要结婚
with no thought to how it will affect our careers.
完全不考虑这会对我们的事业有怎样的影响
I ain't trying to rap about kids or poker!
我才不想说唱关于孩子或扑克的歌♥
Ain't nothing rhyme with "Poker."
也没有词能和"扑克"押韵
So what are you gonna do?
那你打算怎么办
What can I do? He went and changed his whole life,
我能怎么办 他要去改变整个人生
and I don't even got a say in it.
我对此却连一点发言权都没有
Hey, you guys are a team.
你们是一个团队啊
If you feel like you're losing control of your future,
如果你觉得无法掌控你的未来
just talk to him.
就找他谈谈
Your actions affect each other.
你们的行为会相互影响
Yeah.
是啊
My actions do affect each other.
我的行为确实会互相影响
I don't like how you just repeated that verbatim
我不喜欢你眼里放光
with a glint in your eye, but, yeah,
重复这句话的样子 但没错
you got to take charge of your... future.
你必须掌控自己的...未来
Now you have the glint, too, bitch.
你眼里也放光了 贱♥人♥
Bitch, I ain't got no glint!
贱♥人♥ 我才没放光呢
Okay, how's this for a sketch idea?
听着 这个喜剧小品创意如何
A guy who takes everything literally.
有个家伙 只会理解每句话的字面意思
That's kind of the first sketch that everybody comes up with.
那差不多是每个人最先想到的喜剧创意
That or 50-hour Energy.
那个或是50小时超持久能量饮料
Oh, man. That'd be so much energy.
我的天 那能量可真是太劲爆了
Hey, look. It's Brian Posehn.
快看 是布莱恩·波塞恩
That is not Brian Posehn.
那才不是布莱恩·波塞恩
I took tickets for Brian Posehn's one-man show,
我买♥♥过布莱恩·波塞恩单人秀演出的票
like, a decade ago.
大概10年前吧
I used to party with all those comics.
我过去经常和那些喜剧演员一起玩
The one thing I know is who is who in comedy,
喜剧界演员我是能分清的
and I know that that is not Brian Posehn.
我知道那不是布莱恩·波塞恩
Oh. I guess it is him.
好吧 好像就是他
Haircut.
那个发型
I should go talk to him.
我该去找他搭个讪
Maybe I could bounce some ideas off him.
没准能让他帮我的段子把把关
Excuse me. Champagne?
不好意思 能再来点香槟吗
I'll leave it in the bathroom later under the soap.
我一会儿放到洗手间的香皂下面
Soap.
香皂
Excuse me, where's the restroom?
不好意思 请问洗手间在哪
Can I help you?
有什么需要帮助的吗
Yeah, um, uh, my boyfriend
是的 我男朋友
left his heart attack medication in his coat.
把治心脏病的药落在外套里了
Yeah, do you have a claim ticket?
好的 您有号♥牌吗
Uh, no, but...
没有 不过...
I got this.
我有这个
Ignore the bruise.
别在意那块瘀伤
I just needed a ticket to know which coat to get.
我要号♥牌只是想知道该取哪件外套
Oh, uh, yeah. It's the really ugly bomber jacket.
这样啊 是那件特别丑的飞行员夹克
Goddamn it.
该死的
Okay.
好了
Fine. Two can play at that game.
好 那我也来写
Yeah, whatever you say, Gr...
随你怎么说吧 格...
What? Hang on. What are you doing?
什么 等等 你在做什么
Um, I'm making a pros and cons list about you.
我也要列一个你的利弊表
No. No. You can't do that.
不行 你不能列
Pros and cons list is my thing.
利弊表是我独家的
Oh, another con: possessiveness of ideas.
又一个缺点 强行霸占主意
Right.
好吧
Just to balance it out.
两边都看才能平衡
Congratulations.
恭喜你
Thanks. Yeah, my parents thought 25 was young to get married,
谢谢 我父母觉得25岁就结婚太早了
but when you know you found the one...
但当你遇到真命天子...
25? Wow, that's... that's a good age.
25岁 真是...正当妙龄啊
I tested for Ugly Betty when I was 25.
我25岁时给《丑女贝蒂》试镜来着
我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst
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