我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst S03E09
Part 3
Oct. 14, 2020, 4:44 p.m.
Whatever.
随便吧
I'll build a fire.
我生个火
Shoot.
该死
This ground is pretty moist.
这片土地太潮湿了
It's going to make finding accelerant difficult.
会很难找到生火材料的
**I am a doctor*
*我是个医生
**I go snip snip*
*我会开刀
**I rock that body*
*我在人身上妙手回春
**or replace that hip*
*或者给人换个臀
Now your turn.
轮到你了
Come on, it's easy. Just --
来吧 很容易的 你只要
just sing your truth.
只要唱出你的真实情况就好
**My name is Paul*
*我叫保罗
**I am a human*
*我是个人
**I'm Vice President of Wealth Management and Investment Strategies*
*我是财富管理与投资策略协会的副♥主♥席♥
**Again my name's Paul*
*再说一次 我叫保罗
See, the blues is easy.
瞧 布鲁斯节奏很容易嘛
I am so hungry.
我饿死了
We got to get some food. I think I'm gonna die.
我们得找点东西吃 我觉得我要饿死了
Oh, great.
这下好了
My IBS is flaring up.
我的肠道易激综合征犯了
Oh, okay, this is quite dire.
好吧 还挺严重的
I bet you're regretting making me burn all those sweet paper towels.
我猜你后悔让我烧光那些纸巾了吧
Here. It's a receipt for gas.
给你 这是加油站的收据
Hope your poop's small.
希望你的屎小条一点
Stay away from my pit trap.
别踩到我的陷阱
Don't want you scaring any future food.
我可不希望你把可能出现的食物吓跑
**Paul's going to poop*
*保罗要去拉屎了
**That cough could be croup*
*他咳那一声可能是喉炎
**Salt and pepper same shoe*
*盐和胡椒牌的鞋
**My wife Bec is a stu*
*我老婆贝卡是傻♥逼♥
You sabotaged my car!
你故意搞坏了我的车
No!
不
I'm saying you sabotaged my car!
我说你故意搞坏了我的车
You put diesel in the tank!
你往油箱里加的是柴油
What's funny?
有什么好笑的
You didn't wipe your butt.
你没擦屁♥股♥
Gas was $3.27.
汽油每加仑3.27块
My car takes 18 gallons, max.
我的车最多可以加18加仑
Total price should be, at most, $58.86.
总价最多是58.86块
Your total was $6♥4♥.39!
你总共花了6♥4♥.39块
The only way that's mathematically possible
这样算起来只有一种可能
is if you put diesel in the tank!
就是你在油箱里加的是柴油
Fine!
好吧
Yeah, I put diesel in your dumb tank!
没错 我是在你的傻♥逼♥油箱里加了柴油
So what? I panicked.
那又怎么样 我慌了手脚
I don't want to go home.
我不想回家
This is, like, my last chance to get out of my house
这是我离开家的最后的机会
and you're trying to end it.
而你一直要终结这次机会
Why did I agree to come help you?
我为什么要同意来帮你
You and Becca are bad people.
你和贝卡都不是好人
We're bad people?
我们不是好人
Your wife stabbed you.
你老婆捅了你
I backed into the knife.
是我自己碰到刀上的
Why was she holding it directly at you, then, huh?
那她为什么拿刀直接对着你呢
Face it, she tried to murder you.
面对现实吧 她想谋杀你
You shut up, Vernon!
你给我闭嘴 弗南
You shut up right now!
立刻给我闭嘴
You shut up, Rumpleforeskin!
你才闭嘴呢 大傻屌♥
I hate you! Your sunglasses look so stupid!
我讨厌你 你的太阳镜看上去特别傻♥逼♥
You're not cool at all!
你一点都不酷
You're going to die out here, Vernon! You're worthless!
这就是你的葬身之地 弗南 你这废物
I will see to that! You suck at everything! You're gonna die!
我要弄死你 你一事无成 你去死吧
I'm strong! I'm a strong man!
我很强壮 我是个强壮的人
I've killed so many people, Paul!
我已经杀了那么多人了 保罗
I'm not afraid of it!
我可不怕杀人
I am going to throw you off this mountain!
我要把你从这山上扔下去
I'm going to feed you to a bear!
我要把你喂熊
Not my hands!
别打我的手
Never thought squirrel could be so delicious.
从没想过松鼠会这么好吃
Nuts are high in protein and fat.
坚果富含蛋白质和脂肪
Makes for tender flesh.
所以松鼠肉质才这么嫩
People forget I'm a doctor and I know shit.
大家都忘了我是位医生 我懂行的
Check out his little squirrel dick.
看它的松鼠屌♥
You dare me to flick it?
你猜我敢不敢舔
I didn't know we'd get lost.
我不知道我们会迷路
I was just trying to buy more time.
我只是在争取更多的时间
You don't understand.
你不明白
It's a nightmare over there.
我家简直是个噩梦
Becca makes me wear full pajamas
贝卡让我穿全套睡衣
so our skins don't touch.
那样我们的皮肤就不用接触了
Lindsay may have stabbed me intentionally.
琳赛可能是故意捅了我
I only get 20% of the TiVo.
我只能用电视录像机的20%空间
And Becca's always erasing my shows "Accidentally."
而且贝卡总是故意"不小心"删掉我的节目
I missed all last season of The Librarians.
我错过了上一季《图书管♥理♥员♥》的所有集
Lindsay order takeout for one.
琳赛只点一人份的外卖♥♥
One time I took a French fry
有一次我点了份炸薯条
and she made me give her a dollar
她还要我给她一块钱
even though it was on my credit card.
尽管刷的是我的信♥用♥卡♥
Becca once held my head in the toilet for a minute
有一回贝卡把我的头按在马桶里
when I forgot to flush a duke.
因为我忘了冲水
Lindsey's cucking me. Yeah, no kidding.
琳赛在给我戴绿帽子 别开玩笑了
No, seriously.
不 是真的
That guy I mentioned earlier, Raul,
我之前提到的那个人 拉乌
he's her bull.
他是她的种马
What? Whoa.
什么 天啊
What? So he porks her and you have to watch?
什么 他操她的时候 你还得看着
What?
什么
Damn, that's crazy!
该死的 那太疯狂了
Jesus, why doesn't anything cool ever happen to me?
天呐 为什么我身上就没发生过很酷的事
I was trying to be a good husband.
我努力想做个好丈夫
This is going to sound bonkers,
虽然这听上去有点疯狂
but why are we even going home?
但是我们为什么还要回家呢
We should drive straight to Mexico.
我们应该直接开到墨西哥
There's a thought. No, I'm serious.
倒也是个主意 不 我是认真的
We could just disappear, start a new life.
我们可以直接消失 开启新的人生
Things are cheaper down there,
那里的东西也更便宜
and I can find out what the seventh layer is.
我还可以知道第七层到底是什么
Seriously! We're both clearly miserable.
说真的 我们明显都活得太辛苦了
What's stopping us?
有什么理由不那么做呢
The impending children.
即将出生的孩子
No, that's bullshit.
不 那是胡说八道
If a dad is miserable,
如果父亲活得很辛苦
he's no good for his kid.
他对孩子也没什么好处
Look at Jimmy. He hated his dad so much,
看看吉米 他那么讨厌他爸爸
he's actually happier now that he's dead.
父亲一死 他还更开心些
Jimmy's dad did seem to be quite a miserable person.
吉米的爸爸看上去确实像个活得很辛苦的人
Picture it-- Casa Vernon y Paul.
想象一下 弗南和保罗二人组
Just the two of us eating shellfish
就我们两个 吃着海鲜
and drinking margaritas and wizards.
喝着玛格丽塔酒和威士忌
I could take bullets out of cartel members on the DL.
我可以私下帮黑帮成员取子弹
You can be their accountant or whatever.
你可以做他们的会计什么的
We only get one shot at this life, man.
人一辈子只能活一次 老兄
She is killing my spirit.
她在扼杀我的灵魂
This is our only chance.
这是我们唯一的机会
If we wait, it's going to be too late.
如果我们再等下去就太迟了
I'm in.
我加入
Seriously?
认真的吗
Seriously.
认真的
I can't go back to that house.
我不能再回那个家了
我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst
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