我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst S03E12
Part 2
Oct. 14, 2020, 4:46 p.m.
There's literally a part for you in every script that's ever been written.
可以说现有的每一部剧本里都有你们的角色
Not Glengarry Glen Ross or 700 Sundays.
《拜金一族》和《700个星期日》就没有
Besides, don't you read?
况且 你不看新闻吗
People just, like, they hate women now.
现在大家似乎都憎恶女人
You don't even have to hide it anymore.
你没必要再掩饰这一点
Yeah, well, you never read,
是啊 你没在剧本中看到过
"Cut to funny brown guy with perfect features."
"切到五官精致的搞笑棕皮肤人的镜头"吧
You have the advantage. Yeah.
你就是有优势 是啊
Because it's such an advantage to be constantly sexually harassed.
因为不断被性骚扰真是个大优势啊
And it's so advantageous to only be cast
优势大到只能出演
as "Pretty Girl Number 3" Or "Overworked Mom."
"漂亮女孩3号♥"或"过劳的母亲"
I thought you didn't book "Overworked Mom."
你不是没预约试镜"过劳的母亲"一角吗
And it's such an advantage to be slut-shamed for six years
被人视作荡♥妇♥羞辱了6年也是种优势啊
because I accidentally sucked Brian Dunkleman's dick
就为我不小心舔了布莱恩·唐科曼的鸡♥巴♥
'cause I thought he was Chris Hardwick.
因为我以为他是克里斯·哈德维克
Look, can we at least agree
我们能不能至少一致认为
that the true enemy here is the white male?
白人男性才是真正的敌人
Not me. I'm an immigrant.
不包括我 我是移♥民♥
Our story is so tragic.
我们的故事很悲惨
Do you know how many of us drown every day
你知道每天我们有多少人
trying to get over here?
为了来这里而淹死
And the true villain is the white American male.
真正的恶人 是美国白人男性
Bad things happen to white American men, too.
美国白人男性也会遭遇不幸
Real bad things.
非常不幸的事
You know, why don't I let you white people
那我何不让你们这些白人
tell me how bad you all have it.
告诉我你们的遭遇到底有多糟
Jesus!
天啊
Oh, look, wife.
看啊 老婆
I'm about to rip my lung tissue asunder with the devil's tobacco
我要用恶魔的烟草把我的肺组织撕碎
because my life has been destroyed by the woman I love!
因为我的生活被我心爱的女人毁了
Your body, your choice.
你的身体 你做主
You know, I almost left you.
我和弗南在丛林迷路时
When Vernon and I were lost in the woods,
我差点就决定离开你了
he wanted to bail and go live in Mexico.
他想离开这里去墨西哥生活
I should have gone and started my life anew,
我早该一走了之 重新开始生活
like John McAfee, software millionaire!
就像约翰·麦卡菲 软件巨头
Shouldawouldacoulda! Right.
该做而没做 没错
Can you two idiots do this at your place?
你们两个白♥痴♥能不能回自己家吵去
No! If you send them home, her wishy-washy ass
不行 如果让他们回家 不到中午
will be lured back into that suck-butt marriage by lunch.
她个不长记性的家伙 就会被引诱回操蛋的婚姻里
Shut up, Gretchen!
闭嘴 格雷琴
You shut up! Aw, shit!
你闭嘴 你奶奶的
Fine. Then just go and fight in my room. Our room.
好了 那去我的房♥间吵吧 是我们的房♥间
But don't touch anything, don't sit,
但别动任何东西 别乱坐
and hands off the bed booze.
别碰我床边的酒
What?!
怎么了
Nothing. I just...
没什么 就是...
Sometimes I look at you and I think,
有时候我看到你 就会想
"How did this person get in my house?"
"这个人是怎么进我房♥子来的"
It's like I've lost the thread of a novel,
就好比我的小说没有了头绪
and all of a sudden, there's this messy short woman
忽然之间 一个凌乱的矮个女人出现了
who's clearly important to the story.
她显然是关乎故事大局的重要人物
So, I'm flipping back, thinking,
然后我往前回想
"I don't remember that character being introduced."
"我不记得引入过这个角色啊"
Tell me about it!
可不是嘛
Some days it's like I un-blacked out from a week-long bender,
有时候就像我狂喝了一周酒后突然清醒
and now I'm in this weird-ass house with sharp corners.
发现我在这个到处都是尖角的奇葩房♥子里
My mate was supposed to be so different.
我的伴侣本该大不一样
Classy, unbruised,
优雅 没有心理创伤
a first-chair violinist for the Philharmonic.
是交响乐团的首席小提琴手
God, can you imagine it?
天啊 你能想象吗
Me in the wings of Disney Hall.
我在迪斯尼音乐厅的舞台一侧
And we wave good-bye to the other musicians,
我们和其他乐手们挥手告别
and I joke about what a drag it must be for Igor
我会开玩笑说 伊格肯定很苦逼
to haul that double bass home.
他得把那架低音提琴拖回家
And then Dudamel does a champagne spit-take
然后杜德梅尔笑得把香槟喷了出来
and shakes his head at me like,
边摇头边对我说
"Oh, Jimmy, you are too much."
"吉米 你真是个奇葩"
How am I not arm candy
那我为什么不是
for some international movie star with a giant dong?
某个大鸡♥巴♥国际影星的女伴
He's part owner of a cool tech company
他是高科技公♥司♥的股东
and invents apps when he's not dick-punching Peter Sarsgaard
在新电影里和彼得·萨斯加德对戏之余
in his latest movie.
发明一些应用
Sometimes, we talk about adopting a kid from a third-world country,
有时我们会研究收养个第三世界国家的儿童
but we never do it.
但没能真正实现
And we live in a legit-ass castle in Malibu
我们住在马利布一座屌♥爆的城♥堡♥里
with one of those big modern art pieces
还有一幅现代艺术大♥师♥作品
by the guy who does the big dots.
出自那个画大♥波♥点的人之手
What? Lichtenstein?
谁 李奇登斯坦吗
Yeah. A big old Lichtenstein.
对 就是李奇登斯坦
How very sophomore year art history of you.
你的艺术史真是二年级水平的
You definitely shouldn't decorate your own house.
你绝对不要亲自装饰自己家
Knock, knock.
敲敲门
White lady visiting from the Aryan zone. You still mad?
雅利安区的白人女子来访 你还生气呢
Maybe you only like me when I'm struggling.
也许你只喜欢在痛苦中挣扎的我
You think that I want you to struggle? Think about it.
你觉得我希望你痛苦挣扎吗 你想想
When we first met, I was your insecure student.
我们初见时 我是你不自信的学生
Then I was your vet boyfriend with PTSD.
然后我是你患有创伤后应激障碍的老兵男友
Then I was a stoner with no future.
然后我是个没前途的吸大♥麻♥者
But the second I get a tiny bit of success,
在我刚尝到一点成功的甜头时
you freak out.
你就慌了
You forced me to engage in acts of sexual deviance.
你强迫我参与你的性变♥态♥行为
But you started this!
但都是你引起的
You threw your bike onto the street,
你把自行车扔到街上
and said we were new people,
说我们成了焕然一新的人
and I put on that whole Napron-wearing, good wifey act,
然后我穿上那个围裙 表现成好妻子
even though I was dying on the inside.
哪怕我心里痛不欲生
You went along with it for 20 minutes.
你就穿了20分钟
And then you stabbed me!
然后你捅了我
You want me to hide my bees under a bushel.
你想让我藏起所有锋芒
You use your niceness to stifle me,
你用你的善良让我窒息
and then you make me feel guilty.
让我有内疚感
You stabbed me!
你捅了我
We both did things we regret.
我们都做过让我们后悔的事
Relationships are messy.
感情是复杂的
You're actually tearing apart my hypothetical fantasy.
你撕碎了我假设的幻想
Now you want to tell me what I can and can't imagine?
现在又来告诉我什么能想 什么不能想
You admitted that you don't like good things.
你承认过你不喜欢美好的事物
I'm just confirming that.
我只是在确证这一点
You should seriously shut up sometimes, Jimmy.
有时候你真该闭上嘴 吉米
Just shut all the way up.
彻底闭上嘴
I mean, what if I did make something of myself?
如果我真的有所成就呢
If I did rise up there to your level, why?
如果我升到了你的高水准 有什么不好
Why would that be so bad?!
那到底有什么不好
Because I am not up there! Okay?
因为我根本不是什么高水准 好吗
I am down!
我低得很
I am the downest that I have ever been.
我从没像现在这样跌进谷底
You want messy?!
你喜欢混乱
I'll show you messy!
我让你看看什么是混乱
Oh, no, Paul!
不要 保罗
Now you're going to have bad luck.
打破镜子会招致厄运的
I have bad luck!
我早就厄运缠身了
You're my bad luck!
你就是我的厄运
God! You're so selfish.
天呐 你太自私了
There is something seriously wrong with you.
你这人真的病得不轻
Why did I marry you?
我到底为什么娶你
Why?!
为什么
Look, if your fantasy is so fragile... Picking, pick, pick.
如果你的幻想是... 挑毛病挑个没完
...that I'm able to dismantle it...
如果我能轻易放弃...
Pick at everything I say and do.
我说什么做什么你都要挑毛病
我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst
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