我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst S01E03
Part 1
Oct. 14, 2020, 4:28 p.m.
Let's go.
快走
Oh, I love your shower.
我好喜欢你家的淋浴
Yeah, it's a good one.
是啊 豪华高档
Me and this hand nozzle thingy have gotten very close.
我和这个手持喷嘴"超亲密接触"了一下
You're S.O.L, but trust me, it's amazing.
你是个小傻♥逼♥ 但相信我 这真的好爽
Oh, I use it.
我也用过的
How?
怎么用的
I shoot it up my butt.
我把管子插♥进♥菊花里啊
You do?
真的吗
Sure.
是啊
Oh, yeah!
好爽啊
What do you know?
真是意想不到
What?
怎么
You missed a step in that process.
你似乎漏了一步擦屁♥股♥的程序吧
Oh, no, it's just pee.
不 我只是撒个尿而已
Look.
你看啊
You-you sit to pee?
你坐着撒尿吗
Yeah, I sit whenever I can. I love sitting.
是啊 我想坐就坐 我就爱坐着
Sitting's definitely in my top five favorite activities.
坐着绝对是我最爱的5项活动之一
What are the others?
其他的最爱是什么
Eating things.
吃东西
Shutting stupid people down verbally.
用恶毒的语言让蠢货闭嘴
Bubble baths.
洗泡泡浴
Masturbating.
以及打飞机
Where's sex?
你把做♥爱♥置于何地
Eighth probably.
可能排第8吧
What about sex with me?
那跟我做♥爱♥呢
Seventh, maybe sixth.
排第7吧 可能第6
Yeah, no, sex with you, then sleeping.
没错 跟你做♥爱♥排前面 接着是睡觉
Unless I have a flying dream.
除非我做的梦是关于飞翔的
Then you're seventh.
那你就得排第7了
What's your day like?
你今天有什么安排
Oh, you know, tedious interactions with awful people.
就是跟烂人们无聊地交流下
Weird. Mine, too.
真奇怪 我也是
When are you gonna be home?
你什么时候回家
My clothes from last night are still in your dryer.
我昨晚的衣服还在你家烘干机里
On the late side.
很晚吧
Want to give me a key so I can get in?
能给我一把钥匙让我自己开门进来吗
Jimmy?
吉米
You using the hand thingy?
你在用喷嘴给肠子洗澡吗
Edgar can let you in.
埃德加会给你开门的
But in case he's not home.
但他万一不在家呢
I-I just meant a key to get my stuff;
我想要钥匙只是为了拿我的东西而已
I didn't mean a key like... like that.
我不是为了以后 常住你家
Okay.
好吧
I didn't.
我不是那么想的
Okay. Okay. Good.
好吧 好吧 很好
But, I mean... God's sake!
但是 那个... 老天啊
Seriously, what if I had--
说真的 如果我真想要钥匙
would that be any reason to shit yourself?
你有必要因此而生气吗
Yes.
是的
We've spent the last five, six nights in a row together?
我们都连续在一起度过5到6个春宵了吧
'Cause you fall asleep after sex!
因为你做完爱就呼呼大睡了
You're like a fat guy in an American sitcom.
你就像是美国情景喜剧里的大胖子角色
It's a key. It's a way to get in.
就是把钥匙而已 不过是进门的工具
No, it's not.
不 才不是呢
It's... it's my freedom melted down into a metal totem.
那是我的自♥由♥熔化形成的金属图腾
It means that there are rights granted
那意味着有些权利是被维护的
and designations...designated.
有些规定 是限制死了的
No, it doesn't. It's a...
不 才不是呢 那就是个...
Oh, my God, you're right.
天啊 你说得对
I am?
是吗
I must still be hungover.
我肯定是宿醉还没醒
Thanks for calling me out. Momentary lapse of sanity. Jesus.
谢谢你敲醒我 我偶尔会失去理智 天啊
Right, so, uh... are we gonna hang out later or...?
好吧 那我们晚些时候还要再见吗 还是...
I actually have plans.
我已经有安排了
Okay.
好吧
Well, as my grandma used to say,
就如我奶奶以前常说的
"It's only a walk of shame
"如果说这是羞耻之行
if you're capable of feeling shame."
那前提也得是你能感觉到羞耻"
See you later. Thanks for doing all the sex stuff on me.
稍后再见 谢谢你跟我做♥爱♥
That's a frittata.
那是意式菠菜烘蛋
It's an egg-based dish
是一种以鸡蛋为主材的食物
similar to an omelet.
跟煎蛋饼很像
I know what a frittata is.
我知道意式菠菜烘蛋是什么东西
This one has leeks and goat cheese.
我在这里面放了韭菜和山羊奶酪
I saw the recipe on Rachael Ray.
我是在瑞秋·雷的节目上看到这菜谱的
You're not supposed to watch her.
你不能看她的节目啊
The doctor said that your obsession with her is unhealthy.
医生都说了 你对她的痴迷是很不健康的行为
I know, but every minute that I'm watching her,
我知道 但只有当我在看她的节目时
I'm not doing heroin.
才不会吸海♥洛♥因♥
Except sometimes I'm also doing heroin.
其实有时候也是会同时吸海♥洛♥因♥的
You know, she asked for a key.
她竟然找我要钥匙
Who?
谁
Rachael Ray.
瑞秋·雷
Who do you think?
你以为会是谁啊
Rachael Ray could have a key.
瑞秋·雷是有钥匙的
Can you believe she would do that?
你敢相信她竟然提出了这种要求吗
Well, I mean, keys open doors.
门是需要钥匙才能打开的啊
It's not a key. It's a symbol.
关键不在钥匙本身 而在其象征意义
Of what?
象征什么
Of the unceasing, inexorable march of everything
象征着一切东西无休止地
towards predictability, blandness and mediocrity.
走向一个平庸无奇的温柔乡
It's the Rachael Raying of the world.
就像是整个世界都是瑞秋·雷的风格
A cozy world full of home-cooked meals
一个舒适的世界 满是家常菜
and graceful weight fluctuation?
以及不令人伤心的体重波动
I'd live in that world.
我倒想活在那样的世界中
I honestly cannot sit there
我真的无法坐在那儿
and pretend not to be horrified by things as unthought-out
假装没有被那个欠考虑的无聊问题吓到
and unspecial as "Can I have a key,"
因为她问的是 "能给我一把钥匙吗"
Ruled by nothing more interesting than animal instinct
那完全是动物本能控制之下的行为
to the point that I might as well be sleeping with
让我觉得 我倒不如跟
a migratory bird or a leatherback sea turtle.
候鸟或是棱皮龟睡上了才好呢
I'm gonna eat your frittata.
我打算把你的菠菜烘蛋吃掉
"Can I have a key?"
"能给我一把钥匙吗"
I'll tell you what...
我跟你说
How can you see this shit happening
你如何眼见这种烦心事的发生
and just smile and be okay with it?
然后一笑而过呢
How do you look at the person you're with and not just know that
你怎么会看着跟你在一起的那个人 却不知道
there's another person inside who's boring and lame
她的内心深处还有一个人 那个人无聊又差劲
and will eventually ask for emotional support
最终会找你索要情感依靠
and to shop together for decorative sconces at Williams-Sonoma.
并一起去威廉-索拿马卖♥♥场选购装饰壁灯
How can you just ignore that shit?
你叫我如何无视这种不能忍♥的情况呢
I don't know.
我也不知道
Because you like them, I guess.
因为你喜欢吧
I don't know how to do that, so...
我也不知道该怎么做 所以...
Well, it makes sense she'd be emotional today.
她今天有点情绪化也是正常的
I swear, if you're charting her menstrual cycle...
我发誓 如果你在记录她的月经周期
It's her birthday.
今天是她生日
It is?
是吗
Why didn't she tell me?
她怎么没告诉我
It's Gretchen's.
是格雷琴的手♥机♥
I better bring it to her.
我还是赶紧拿去给她吧
Hand it over.
交给我
What?
什么
I'm not gonna snoop.
我不会偷看的
I'm not!
我真不会的
Aw, this is stupid.
这也太愚蠢了吧
Y-You are stupid.
你太愚蠢了
I'm living with the stupidest person in America.
我的室友是全美国最愚蠢的人
我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst
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