我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）

You're the Worst S01E01

Part 2 Oct. 14, 2020, 4:28 p.m.

Wait. What?
等等搞什么
Oh, relax. I'm just lazy.
放松我只是懒而已
I'll sneak out in the morning.
我明早会偷偷溜走的
No, there are no sleepovers.
不行炮♥友♥是不能留下来过夜的
Oh, too bad.
那太糟糕了
I have sleep apnea.
我患有睡眠呼吸暂停症
I have to wear a CPAP machine.
我得戴着呼吸机睡觉
Don't care. I'm a log.
不在乎我睡得很死
You look like Top Gun. Shut up.
你看上去跟《壮志凌云》中一样闭嘴
I'm so glad I'm not gonna remember any of this in the morning.
我真高兴明早起来我就会忘得一干二净了
"Never leave your wingman."
"永远不要抛弃你的搭档"
So stupid.
真够傻气的
Morning.
早上好
So, I've been thinking about ghosts.
我一直在想着有关鬼的事
Oh, the things that don't exist because there is no soul?
那些不存在的玩意儿吗因为根本没什么鬼魂啊
What a great use of your time.
你可真会好好利用时间
You know my great-grandfather Baldemar on my father's side, right?
你知道我曾祖父贝德玛吧我爸这边的
What? No. How could I possibly know your great...?
什么不知道我怎么可能知道你曾...
Oh, he was this crazy adventurer guy
他是一个极具冒险精神的人
who owned a ranch in Zihuatanejo,
在芝华塔尼欧拥有一个农场
and he sold arms and was a matador.
他是贩卖♥♥武器的并且曾是个斗牛士
What was his name? Voldemort?
他叫什么名字伏地魔吗
The coolest guy. Because I was thinking,
最酷的家伙因为我想着
he sounds like he had it all worked out,
他似乎已经参悟透了生死的奥秘
and maybe if I could learn his secrets,
如果我能知道他的秘密
then I could fix my problems.
那或许我就可以解决我的问题了
How would meeting your dead relative
见一见你死去的亲戚
help you move out of my house?
怎么就能让你从我家搬出去了
No, I'm talking about my real problems.
不我是在说我真正的问题
Like, the nightmares and the crying,
比如做噩梦大哭不止
and how I want to do heroin all the time.
以及整天想嗑海♥洛♥因♥
So, anyway, what do you think?
总之你是怎么个看法
What do I think about what?
什么怎么个看法
If I should hold a seance
我是不是该举♥行♥个降神会
to contact great-grandfather Baldemar.
来跟我的曾祖父贝德玛交流一下
No.
不要
I think I'm gonna do it.
我觉得我还是去办一场吧
Thanks.
谢了
Why did you let me sleep so late? I'm famished.
你怎么让我睡到这么晚我都饿死了
Nice place.
这地方真不错
Hi, I'm Edgor.
你好我叫埃德加
Gretchen. This is dynamite.
我叫格雷琴真是太好吃了
Oh, thanks.
谢谢
So, how do you guys know each other?
你们是怎么认识的
Uh, we met in college.
我们是在大学里认识的
No, we didn't.
不不是
Well, he was in college, and I sold weed to college kids.
他当时在上大学我是专门向大学生兜售大♥麻♥的
Then he started giving me books to read,
然后他开始给一些书给我看
'cause he saw untapped potential in me.
因为他在我身上看到了潜力
I gave you books that I stole from Borders
我把我从博德斯书店偷来的书给你
because I didn't have money for weed.
是因为我没钱买♥♥大♥麻♥
Semantics. Have you read his book yet?
意思都一样你读过他的书吗
Sales were flatter than expected,
销量比预计得要平淡些
plus he blew all his money on this house.
再说他把钱都花在这房♥子上面了
That's why he has to do more magazine work,
所以他不得不给杂♥志♥写稿
but you should read it.
但你真该看看这书
It's real good.
真的很精彩
Okay.
好啊
At least buy your own copy.
你至少自己去书店买♥♥一本支持我啊
Right.
好吧
So which one of you is giving me a ride to work?
待会儿你们谁载我去上班啊
I can't drive because I have PTSD
我不能开车因为我患有创伤后应激障碍
and mild to medium battlefield-induced psychosis.
以及轻度到中度的战场诱发型精神病
Bummer. Jimmy, you're up.
真不幸吉米你来吧
My car's at the reception. We took a cab.
我的车在婚礼接待处我们昨天打车回来的
We did?
是吗
Damn.
该死
I can't believe it.
我真不敢相信
Drive faster. I'm late.
开快点我要迟到了
You slept with Jimmy.
你竟然跟吉米上♥床♥了
Apparently.
显然嘛
Who used to date my sister.
他可是我姐姐的前男友
Yeah, I know.
是啊我知道
And on the night of her wedding?
而且是在她结婚当天勾搭上的
Why are you crawling up my ass about this, Lindsay?
你为什么这么叨逼个不停琳赛
You know what a jerk he is.
你知道他是个多大的混♥蛋♥
I told you all the time how he swallowed her up.
我一直跟你说他把她吞噬了
She disappeared her life into his
她的生活完全以他为中心了
and was never the same.
也彻底变了个人
Oh, that's 'cause Becca doesn't have a personality to begin with.
那是因为贝卡本来就没什么个性
Well, that's true.
那倒是真的
Jimmy's the worst.
吉米真是一朵奇葩
Did he say anything about me?
他说了关于我的什么话了吗
Nope.
没有
You're not gonna see him again, are you?
你不会跟他继续见面了吧
No way.
不可能啦
We did have fun, though.
不过我们昨晚过得很开心
Oh, God, I hope he doesn't think it was, like, an actual thing.
天啊我希望他别以为我们是来真的
No kidding.
开什么玩笑
Can you be careful where you're putting your makeup,
你化妆的时候能小心点吗
and can you take your feet off the take your feet off the dashboard?
你能把脚从仪表板上拿下来吗
This is a lease.
这可是租来的
Okay.
好吧
Stop the car.
停车
What? Stop the car!
什么停车
I'd rather walk than drive in this sterile,
我宁愿下来走路也不要坐在这寒碜的
suburban, piece of shit car with my best friend
老土的破车里听我最好的朋友
being shitty and judgmental to me
指责我评判我
'cause I had sex with a guy at a wedding.
就因为我跟一个在婚礼上认识的男人做♥爱♥了
How many guys did you blow at our five-year reunion?
你在我们的5周年聚会上给多少男人口♥交♥过
Four.
4个
Four? You told me three.
4个吗你之前跟我说是3个
I might have left out Tor Borgfeldt.
我可能漏掉了托尔·伯格菲尔德
Ew! I'm seriously nauseated right now.
恶这下我真要吐了
Oh, God. We used to have so much fun.
天啊我们以前玩得多开心啊
Yeah, we did.
是啊没错
Why'd you have to get married?
你为什么非得结婚啊
I know. I'm sorry.
我懂的对不起
Do you like my new haircut?
你喜欢我的新发型吗
No, you look like Ellen Barkin.
不喜欢你这样跟艾伦·巴金似的
If you get your real estate license,
如果你搞到了房♥产证
I will stab you in the tits.
我就捅破你的奶♥子♥
Brilliant,
好啊
Absolutely Brilliant.
真是"好极了"
What?
搞毛
I just moved in... over there.
我刚搬过来住在那里
Of course you did.
当然了
Why do you say that?
你为什么这么说
Because the death of any interesting neighborhood
因为任何有趣的邻里社区的灭亡
is the influx of white procreators.
都是因为白人生育者的涌入
Oh, that's cool. My nutritionist is gay, too.
没关系我的营养专家也是基佬
I'm not gay.
我不是基佬
I'm English.
我来自大英腐国而已
What's that?
那是什么
A royalty check for my book for...
我新书获得的版权费
$17.43.
就17.43美元
Do you know, if there was any doubt
你知道吗如果有人不相信
that the book industry was dead, it is here in my hand.
图书行业已死那证据就在我手中
R.I.P., literature. 2000 BC to this moment.
安息吧文学生于公元前2000年卒于此刻
You want to hang out sometime?
你想抽空一起玩玩吗