我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst S01E02
Part 2
Oct. 14, 2020, 4:28 p.m.
Ew! That's my sister. I'm gonna vomit.
恶 那可是我姐 我都要吐了
Raspberry pomegranate tart.
覆盆子石榴果馅味的
Salted caramel pecan. Three times!
咸味焦糖胡桃味的 3次啊
Why don't we ever bone three times in one day?
你怎么就从来没当过"一天3次郎"
Where's he taken you?
他给你什么承诺了吗
Black forest cake.
黑森林蛋糕
Peanut butter rum.
花生酱朗姆酒味的
We don't go anywhere.
我们并不打算有什么进展
I told you, we're just having fun.
我跟你说过了 我们只是纯享乐关系
Be careful, Gretch. Jimmy is a soul vampire.
小心点 格雷琴 吉米可是个灵魂吸血鬼
And, face it,
并且 接受现实吧
you don't always make the best choices.
你有时会做出一些糟糕的选择
You're one to talk.
你还有脸说我
Mean.
刻薄
Kidding, Paul.
开玩笑的啦 保罗
So, what flavors have we settled on?
请问你们最终决定买♥♥哪个口味的
Nothing for me. I'm too full.
我不用了 我已经饱了
Me, too.
我也是
I got to go to work.
我得去工作了
See you soon. Stop worrying about me.
再见 别再担心我了
Never. As long as Jimmy's in this world.
只要吉米还活着 我就得担心
Bye.
再见
You know, you're kind of mean to me when Gretchen's around.
话说 格雷琴在的时候 你对我就有点刻薄
How can you say that? Gretchen is lonely.
你怎么能这么说 要体谅未婚空虚的格雷琴
We're so happy. I don't want to rub it in.
我们这么幸福 我可不想打击她
I love you.
我爱你
I'm so lucky.
我好幸运
Good work.
好样的
Now, um, go away. Picture books are over there, all right?
好了 你走吧 图画书在那边 知道吗
You can't read.
你又不识字
Nice try, dickhole.
想得美啊 傻♥逼♥
How dare you try and take advantage of my new dumb-ass cashier.
你竟敢无视我的蠢货出纳员 偷换推荐书目
No offense, Philippe.
无意冒犯 菲利普
You know, it is disgraceful that my bookstore won't support new writers.
我这儿的书店不支持新人作者真是可耻
Especially a local one of some acclaim.
尤其是一个来自本地的有一点名气的作家
Really? Where?
是吗 在哪儿呢
Haven't seen you in a while.
我已经有段时间没见过你了
One explanation: you got some new slizz
推测一个原因就是 你找到一个新的"公交车"
you've bamboozled into letting you throw your pasty junk into.
你成功欺骗了她 再把你那苍白的老二干进洞
No. She's not a slizz.
不 她才不是"公交车"呢
Oh, what's her problem then?
是吗 那她是哪里有毛病
Humpback? Scientologist?
驼背 山达基教♥徒♥吗
Did she absorb her twin's fetus?
她是不是在子♥宫♥里把她双胞胎姐妹吸收了
Nothing. It's perfect.
没有任何毛病 她很完美
She comes over, we have fun.
她会过来 我们一起享受极乐
You must've come across that kind of happiness--
你肯定也遇到过这种幸福吧
in a book, at some point.
我是说 在书里读到
I knew you were a dipshit.
我早就知道你是个傻♥逼♥
I was just heretofore unaware of the true depths of your dipshittery.
但我直到此时才真正知道你的傻♥逼♥程度
Look, take it from a woman...
听我这当女人的一句话吧
Really? Sorry, where?
是吗 不好意思 女人在哪儿呢
Look, I know how people date, okay?
听着 我知道人们是怎么约会的
But we both agreed we don't want anything,
但我们一致同意不去追求一些繁琐的东西
'cause we're different.
因为我们是不同的人
Oh, okay.
好吧
Well, keep going with that.
那你继续这样吧
See how long she sticks around. Hey, Philippe,
看她能在你身边坚持多久吧 嘿 菲利普
from now on, you see this guy, you throw him out.
从现在开始 此人与狗不得入内
And put his books back on the loser shelves.
并且把他的书放回到垃圾书书架上
All right, bye.
行吧 再见了您呐
Oh, and good luck finding another job in six months
对了 祝你在半年后找工作顺利
when this place is a Yoshinoya Beef Bowl.
到时这里就会变成吉野家牛肉店了
I'm sorry if all that sexual tension made you uncomfortable.
抱歉我跟贱男的暧昧让你感到不舒服了
Jimmy? Jimmy?
吉米 吉米
All right, the official line is,
好吧 对外官方说法就是
"My account was hacked.
"我的账号♥被盗了
I have no idea whose vagina that is."
我完全不知道那是谁的阴♥道♥"
But it was my vagina.
但那确实是我的阴♥道♥照啊
You can clearly see my micro-tattoo of the Nickelodeon logo.
你可以清楚地看到尼克儿童国际频道的标识纹身
It doesn't matter, Pepper.
那无关紧要 帕波
A normal beaver shot is just a bad PR problem,
通常的下♥体♥照不过是个公♥关♥难题而已
but when a 16-year-old tweets it,
但是如果一个16岁的小孩发出去了
that's-- repeat after me--
那就是...跟我念
child pornography.
儿童色情照
You're so controlling.
你真是个控制狂
You're like my dad and my step-mom and my manager,
你简直是综合了我爸 我继母 我的经纪人
who's also my real mom,
她同时也是我的生母
and my TV dad Mario Lopez...
以及我在电视里的老爸马里奥·洛佩兹
Sorry, babe. That's the law.
抱歉 宝贝 法律就是这样的
What about my tits?
那能发我的大胸照吗
Don't worry.
别担心
We're going to roll out those tits
我们会用一种可控的
in a controlled, legal environment,
合法的手段把那些奶照流传出去的
like a very tasteful photo shoot with Terry Richardson.
比如跟大摄影师泰利·理查德森拍摄的高品质照片
Really?
真的吗
No! Maybe.
当然不是 或许吧
Edgar. What's up?
埃德加 什么事
Nothing. Oh, sorry.
没事 抱歉
Um, I was just cleaning the house
我之前在打扫屋子
and I wanted to return these hair thingies.
我想把这些发夹什么的给你
Thanks, but I have, like, a ton of these.
谢了 但我有好多啊
And some of them are not mine.
其中一些根本不是我的
Oops. Sorry.
哎呀 抱歉
Oh, yeah, uh, while I'm here,
对了 既然我都来了
Jimmy wondered if you wanted to grab a bite to eat tonight.
吉米问你想不想晚上一起出去吃个饭
Tonight? Really?
今晚 真的吗
Okay, I'll come over after work.
好吧 我下班后过去
He'll meet you at the restaurant.
他会和你在餐厅碰面的
I'll text you the address.
我待会儿把地址发你
Wait, why didn't he just ask me himself?
等等 他怎么不自己约我
Oh, he's slammed at work.
他在忙工作
What work?
什么工作
Okay. I should go.
行了 我该走了
I have to try to find Killian.
我得去找卡利安
uh, and Gretchen..
对了 格雷琴
if you go hiking in the next few days,
如果你接下来几天要去远足的话
you're gonna want to attach, like,
你最好那什么
some bells around your neck or-or something.
在脖子上系个铃铛什么的
Excuse me.
借过
Uh, I didn't know what you liked,
我不知道你喜欢喝什么
so I just got you one of their "Mixology" things.
所以我就给你拿了一瓶他们自调的酒
What's the other one?
另一瓶是什么
Whiskey soda.
威士忌苏打
It's called a "Reservation," Right?
这叫做"预定餐位" 对吧
Not a "Suggestion of eagerness to dine at a specific hour."
不是"在某个特定时刻进餐的热切渴望"
Wouldn't fit on the Web site.
那放在网上也不合适啊
They could at least give us chairs,
他们至少也该给我们准备个椅子啊
so we don't have to crouch under this pipe.
那样我们就不用屈身在这些管子下面了
Ah, yeah.
是啊
Oh, look, people are taking photos of their dinner.
看啊 那些人都在拍桌子上的菜
Are they afraid people won't believe they went to a restaurant?
他们是怕别人不相信他们去了餐馆吃饭吗
Excuse you! That is quite rude!
你搞毛啊 真是粗鲁无礼
Okay, whatever, man. Come on.
好吧 随你怎么说 走吧
Should we just go or...?
我们是不是该走了 或者...
Oh. Well, I mean...
那个 我觉得...
Follow me.
跟我来吧
Uh, great. Um, after you, uh...
好吧 你先请
Here we are.
就是这里了
Sorry, what the hell is this?
不好意思 这是什么玩意儿
This is our communal table.
这是我们的共享桌
我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst
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