我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）

You're the Worst S01E09

Part 3 Oct. 14, 2020, 4:30 p.m.

What a dork.
真是个傻瓜
I can't believe it took them two months
我真不敢相信他们用了两个月
to edit our wedding video.
才把我们的婚礼视频编辑好
Dave did it for free.
达夫是免费帮我们做的啊
Yeah, well, you get what you pay for.
是啊一分钱一分货不出钱就拖
Oh, I talked to Aunt Helen.
我还跟海伦阿姨谈过了
She insists she got us a blender.
她坚持说送给了我们一台搅拌机
You don't have to get us a wedding gift,
你可以不用送我们结婚礼物的
but don't lie about it.
但没送别撒谎啊
Um, anyway, I love you so much.
总之呢我非常爱你们
And, remember, there is no shame whatsoever
记住了比你的小妹妹
in getting married two years after your little sister.
晚两年结婚也没什么好丢人的
Siblings mature at different rates.
兄弟姐妹间成熟的速度也是不一样的
What a cooze.
真是个贱♥人♥
Paul, did you hear?
保罗你听说这事了吗
Jimmy took a photo of his dingus
吉米拿着每一部一次性相机
on every one of our disposable cameras.
给他的鸡♥巴♥拍了张照片
Seriously?
真的吗
Yeah. What a classic heckle.
是啊真会捣乱
Becca recognized it
贝卡认出了那是他的鸡♥巴♥
on account of it having been in her mouth so much.
因为那东西已经很久没插过她的嘴了
Did you hear?
你们听说了吗
They broke up.
他们分手了
Who?
谁
Jimmy and Gretchen?
吉米和格雷琴吗
No. What?
不是吧什么
Yeah. Gretchen's really upset.
真的格雷琴现在好伤心
I can't say I'm that surprised.
我觉得我并不怎么惊讶
They're both quite spirited.
他们都太能闹了
That's a bummer.
真够糟糕的
I should call him.
我该给他打个电♥话♥
He's probably waiting to hear from me.
他或许在等着我打过去安慰呢
Let me get one of those?
能给我抽一根吗
These are pretty expensive.
这烟很贵的好吗
Superman is aware that kryptonite is his kryptonite,
超人知道氪星石就是他的克星
and he keeps getting mixed up with it anyway.
但他却还是跟那玩意儿纠缠不清
Women, romantic happiness, is my kryptonite.
女人幸福的感情就是我的克星
I got complacent being with Becca and produced shit-all.
我当初跟贝卡在一起很满足结果却糟糕透了
And the minute she left me twisting up on that hill with that ring
她任由我拿着戒指把我抛弃在山上时
Bam, the book came to me.
我就灵感爆发写出一本书
Whole cloth.
一下子全写出来了
And then-- then I did it again.
但之后我又重蹈覆辙了
At that selfsame succubi's wedding, no less.
就在那同一个魔女的婚礼上
And, no doubt,
毫无疑问
my work suffered being with Gretchen.
跟格雷琴在一起我的创作灵感都枯竭了
And now,
现在
having broken up with her is guaranteed to release the words.
跟她分手肯定能让我思如泉涌
In fact, I can feel
实际上我都能感觉到
all my creative juices returning to me already.
创意的小火花又回到我大脑中了
I wouldn't be surprised if I started playing guitar again.
如果我又重新开始弹吉他我也不会感到惊讶的
Nope.
不会的
Would not be surprised at all.
完全不会觉得惊讶
Cheers, mate.
干杯老兄
This is normally where you make a weird non sequitur
通常这时候你会发表一些古怪的错误言论
and I chastise you and continue talking.
我会抨击死你然后继续说
Yeah, well, with Gretchen,
好吧有了格雷琴以后
you've been actually kind of fun to be around,
你似乎成了个挺有趣的人容易相处
but if you're telling me
但如果你是在告诉我
that we're going back to you being a hundred percent dick
我们又要回到你变成个彻头彻尾的混♥蛋♥的时代
so that you can write another stupid book I won't read?
那样你才能写出一本我根本都不会看的蠢书
Unsubscribe.
恕不奉陪
Whoa, what are you doing?
你在干什么呢
You never pay for drinks.
你以前喝酒从没掏过钱啊
I'm done owing you stuff, Jimmy.
我不想再欠你的了吉米
Oh, sit down, man.
坐下老兄
Don't tell me what to do.
别指挥我怎么做
You don't get to tell me what to do anymore!
你无权再指挥我怎么做了
It's PTSD.
创伤后应激障碍
He's all right, he's fine.
他没事没问题
You know that night you met Gretchen?
你还记得你和格雷琴相遇的那晚吗
Do you remember how nervous I was to go to Becca's wedding?
你知道我去参加贝卡的婚礼时有多紧张吗
How crowds freak me out?
人群让我有多惊恐
That was a lifetime ago.
那都是几辈子前的事了
It was two months ago.
才两个月前而已
You brought me as a prop and then forgot about me.
你把我当个道具带过去然后忘记了我的存在
I had to sit with a bunch of very condescending
我不得不坐在一帮颐指气使
and unfriendly children
非常不友好的孩子中间
who wouldn't even invite me to the after party.
他们都不愿意邀请我参加宴后派对
I'm going to get my stuff.
我去拿走我的东西
I'll leave the keys on the table.
我会把钥匙放在桌上的
Wait.
等等
You didn't read my book?
你没看过我的书吗
No way.
不可能看的
It looked crazy boring.
看上去超级无聊
Well, fine, go.
好吧你走吧
You're only helping me.
你这倒是在帮我
Now I'm even...
现在我更加...
even more alone.
更加孤寡了
Hey, I got something for you.
嘿我有个东西要送给你
She left. Huh. Bitches be trippin'.
她竟然走了女人可真够小题大做的
Speaking of bitches, where'd you say Lindsay was?
说到女人你刚说琳赛去哪儿了来着
Comforting Gretchen after the breakup. Still.
安慰分手后的格雷琴安慰到现在呢
Sweet.
好吧
Let's bust open some scotch and get dumb.
我们来喝点威士忌发发酒疯吧
I really shouldn't.
我不能喝
And didn't you say you have surgery in the morning?
你不是说你明早还要做手术吗
Come on, Paul.
别这样啊保罗
Don't be such a fa...
别这么...
Marriage is such bullshit.
婚姻可真够扯淡的
Why didn't you warn me?
你当初怎么不警告我啊
The morning of your wedding,
你办婚礼的那天早上
I said, "Lindsay, don't do this."
我说 "琳赛别结婚"
The girls are back.
"好闺咪"又回来啦
Oh, thank God.
谢天谢地
I never told you
我从没告诉过你
I was gonna move to New York after Becca's wedding.
我本打算在参加完贝卡的婚礼后搬去纽约的
What?
神马
I was like,
我心想着
"Everyone's getting so serious about everything.
"大家对一切都变得好认真
Ooh, my marriage, my career, I have groceries."
哎呀我的婚姻我的事业我要去买♥♥杂货"
I was like, "Nothing's keeping me here, let's go."
我心想"我在这里也没什么好留恋的了走吧"
Okay.
好吧
Okay what?
好吧什么
Let's go.
我们走吧
Let's go.
我们走吧
Gretchen, nothing's keeping me here, either.
格雷琴我在这里也没什么好留恋的了
Lindsay.
琳赛
Think about it.
好好想想啊
We can do drugs
我们可以嗑药
and go to weird Puerto Rican dance halls
然后去古怪的波多黎各舞厅
and take so much New York dick
狂勾引纽约大屌♥男
that our pussies start talking like,
直到我们的小♥逼♥逼抱怨说
"Oh, another one-- fuggedaboutit."
"哎呀又来插♥我♥啦休想"
But they won't forget about it, Gretch,
但不可能不插的格雷琴
because we're just that memorable.
我们就是那么令人一插难忘
How much blow have you done?
你是嗑了多少可♥卡♥因♥啊
Oh, my God, I'm so excited about this plan
天啊我对这计划感到好激动
that I have to pee.
我要去撒个尿
Yo, what the hell are you doing?
哟你在搞毛呢
Partying, what?
开派对啊怎么了