我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）

"Communal table."
共享桌
If we wanted to dine with total strangers,
如果我们想跟陌生人一起用餐的话
we would have taken an ad out on Craigslist.
我们就会回应分类网站上的广♥告♥了
Or invited our parents over for dinner.
或是邀请我们的父母一起用餐
You're not dining with them.
你们不是和他们一起用餐
You're just dining at the same table as them.
你们只不过是共用一张餐桌罢了
You're really cutting with a semantic Ginsu knife there, aren't you?
你还真会玩弄辞藻啊 是吧
Oh, man. I'm so hungry.
天啊 我真是饿死了
32 dollars for pellizzoni. What is pellizzoni?
"帕拉佐尼"要32美金 那是什么玩意儿啊
It's a type of pasta.
是一种粗意面
What is it made of?
那是用什么做的
Bald eagle foreskin?
白头鹰的包皮吗
Couldn't think of anything soft and expensive.
我想不到别的又软又贵的东西了
Bald eagles don't have penises, they have a cloaca.
白头鹰是没有包皮的 那叫泄殖腔
Thank you. Good evening.
谢你了啊 晚上好
Is this your first time at Insouciance?
今天是你们第一次来"悠闲餐厅"吗
Yes.
是的
Let me explain how our menu works.
我来解释一下我们的菜单是怎么操作的
Why? Is it electronic?
怎么 难道是电子菜单吗
You said you wanted to explain how the menu worked,
你刚说要向我们演示一下菜单是怎么操作的
which led me to the comic premise of taking your sentence at face value.
所以我就按照你的字面意思理解了
Never mind. Go on.
别管我 你继续说
Okay. Now, most of our dishes are meant to be shared,
好吧 我们大部分的菜品都是几人共享的
so we recommend three dishes from the top half
所以我们推荐点上半页的3道菜
and depending on your appetite,
再根据你们的胃口
two to three from the bottom.
点下面的两到3道菜
Can I start you off with bottled water or L.A.'s finest?
首先你们是要点瓶装水还是自来水
Tap. Bottled.
自来水 瓶装水
Bottled. Tap's fine.
瓶装水 自来水就行
Just bring both.
都要吧
You have to try the uni foam.
你一定要尝尝"单向泡沫"这道菜
I absolutely will not.
我绝对不尝
Are people allowed to actually talk to other people?
人们可以找邻座的人搭话吗
Seriously, we can go.
说真的 我们可以走了
No, we're doing this.
不行 我们一定要吃
Okay.
好吧
Don't worry, I promise I won't order the pellizzoni.
别担心 我保证不点粗意面
Oh, order whatever you like.
你喜欢什么就点什么
you should probably have some iron, right?
你可能得补铁补血 是吧
I knew it.
我就知道
Man! What?
天啊 怎么了
I knew I shouldn't have told you about...
我就知道我不该跟你说我的...
Hello.
你们好啊
Shouldn't have told you about
我就不该告诉你
the.Detroit Red Wings.
底特律"红"翼队的事的
How they're in town for a five-game series.
他们"来了" 要打5场比赛
I don't know anything about sports.
我对体育一无所知
You mean... do you mean your period?
你是指你的月经吗
Wait, did I do something wrong?
等等 我做错什么了吗
Yes!
是的
You were so weird about it.
你表现得古里古怪的
"See you in five days"?
"5天后见"
How is that weird? When your...
那怎么怪了 毕竟你...
the series is over
"逼塞季"结束了
and the red Wings leave town to go and play more...
"红"翼队离开了 去打更多的...
Hockey.
冰球
Hockey, elsewhere.
去别的地方打冰球
The ice will be cleared to play on.
我们又可以在那块冰场上"玩耍"了
That's not the point. That's a dick move.
那才不是重点 那是混♥蛋♥行径
That's exactly the point.
那就是重点
Look, if my favorite pinball game..
听着 如果我最爱的弹球机
Creature from the Black Lagoon in 3-D.
3-D版的《黑湖妖潭》
Yes. If Creature from the Black Lagoon in 3-D is out of order
没错 如果3-D版的《黑湖妖潭》出故障了
I'm going to wait to come back to the arcade when it's working again.
我会等到它恢复功能了 再大玩一场
There are other games!
但还有其他可玩的啊
Do you mean your butt?
你是说插♥你♥的屁洞吗
Shit!
我♥操♥
Oh, goddamn it. Should we...?
该死的 我们是不是该...
Jimmy.
吉米
What the hell are you...?
你们怎么会...
I'm surprised you're not on your honeymoon.
我很惊讶你们竟然没出去度蜜月
We go in a month.
我们一个月后再去
It's the busy time for Vernon.
弗南这段时间正忙
Old bags always want to get their hips replaced at the same time.
老年人都赶在同一时间做髋关节置换手术
It's like, if one of them can walk normal,
就好像 如果有一个人可以正常行走了
they all need to walk normal.
他们都想正常行走
You're dining alone?
你一个人在这儿吃饭吗
No, I am with someone,
不是的 我约了人一起
but she's not feeling well.
但她觉得不太舒服
Sucks, man.
真倒霉 老兄
Ditched at the commune tabes.
被甩在了共享桌上
Well, enjoy your solitary dinner. Honey?
祝你独自用餐快乐 亲爱的我们走吧
I'll be right there.
我马上就来
Wanted to say sorry about the ruckus at the wedding.
我想为婚礼上的那事道个歉
Tensions were high.
当时我情绪比较激动
Mostly on account of Becca's mom being such a cooze.
主要是因为贝卡的妈妈太刁难人了
Oh, you were throwing your life away.
你当时是要抛弃自己的美好人生了
You were stressed. I understand.
你压力很大 我理解的
Word. Well, I should get back to Bec before the amuse-bouche drops.
注意用词 我得赶在开胃菜上齐之前赶到贝卡身边
She's been known to take down hers and my bouche
如果我不动作快点 她就会把她那份
if I'm not quick enough. All right.
和我那份统统解决掉 行了不说了
There you are.
你在这儿啊
I've been looking for you everywhere I could think of.
我一直在到处找你呢
Turns out, parents don't really appreciate
事实证明 家长们很不喜欢
a grown man driving slowly past playgrounds over and over.
一个成年男人开着车一遍遍绕着操场开
Don't you have a phone?
你就没有手♥机♥吗
My parents are afraid
我父母担心
I'll turn into a YouTube celebrity if I have one.
如果我有了手♥机♥ 会变成Youtube红人
You okay?
你没事吧
Yeah.
没事
He didn't mean to forget you at the bookstore.
他不是故意把你遗忘在书店的
It's just, sometimes people just have weird ways of being friends.
有时候某些人的为友之道比较古怪罢了
Yeah.
是啊
In Iraq, we used to have this translator, Zaid.
在伊♥拉♥克♥时 我们有个叫扎伊德的翻译
Oh, he was so funny.
他真的超搞笑的
We used to teach him Eminem songs
我们以前会教他阿姆的歌♥
and make him do these lip-dubs,
然后让他模仿口形配音
and then, we'd put them up on the Internet.
录下来传上网
I miss that guy.
我想念那家伙了
What happened to him?
他后来怎么了
The videos got so popular that the insurgents discovered
那些视频在网上大火 那些暴徒发现
he was working with the Americans,
他在帮助美国人做事
so they buried him alive in the desert,
所以他们把他活埋在了沙漠中
and they ran over his head with a tank.
然后开着坦克碾过他的头
My point is, not all friends can
我想说的是 不是所有的朋友
be as awesome as Zaid.
都能像扎伊德那么赞
We just...
我们得...
have to appreciate the people who love us while they're still around.
趁那些爱我们的人还活着时 好好珍惜他们
Hey, you want to go get some doner kebab?
嘿 你想去吃一些土耳其烤肉吗
There's this awesome place on Hillhurst.
希尔赫斯特有家店超好吃的
Does it have gluten?
那里有面筋吗
We can ask. Come on.
我们可以点啊 走吧
Bye, Debra.
再见 黛布拉
They didn't see me, did they?
他们没有看到我吧
No.
没有
Ooh! That was close.
我靠 刚刚真是好险
I thought you were mad at me.
我以为你是生我气了呢
Not compared to what a disaster it would have been
那都不算个事儿 要是贝卡和弗南
if Becca and Vernon had seen us together.
看到我们在一起 那才是大灾难呢
Oh, right. Well, then I'm mad at you.
是嘛 那我生你的气了