单身毒妈（2005）
Weeds S08E11
Part 3
Nov. 25, 2020, 1:26 p.m.
An undying desire to majorly fuck you up.
噢 别这样 吉列尔莫
Aww. Stop, Guillermo.
重生吧 这是个商机
Reboot. This is business.
不 白妞 这是个人恩怨
No, blanca. This is personal.
带她去个私密的地方 我得接个电♥话♥
Take her somewhere private. I got to take this.
走吧
Let's go.
嗨 你来了 进来吧
Hey, you made it. Come on in.
我给你买♥♥了个橘子酸果蔓烤饼
I got you an orange cranberry scone,
但是我后来饿了
but I got hungry.
你还好吧
How you doing?
不太好
Been better.
为什么 家里都还好吗
Why? Is everything okay at home?
我跟你说过了 我被抓了
I told you, I got pinched.
听听这家伙说的话
Listen to this guy.
多戏剧化
so dramatic.
嗨 我给你弄了个小玩意儿
Here, I got you something.
史托迈尔亲手签的[洋基队功勋投手教练]
Signed by Mel Stottlemyre himself.
我第一次坑蒙拐骗 戴的就是那只手套
I ate my first piece of snatch wearing that glove.
他们想让我出♥卖♥♥♥你们
They want me to rat.
你说什么
What are you talking about?
押扣停车场
The impound yard.
是你偷了车的那个押扣停车场吗
You mean the one which you stole a car from?
是借的
Borrowed a car,
还是辆你准备偷偷转卖♥♥的车
which you were gonna sell and disappear from the registry.
你知道我什么意思
You know what I'm talking about.
以下是我的看法 你惊慌失措地给我打电♥话♥
Here's all I know -- you call me in a panic.
我出来了 给你买♥♥了个烤饼
I go out, I get you a scone,
给你带了个有意义的好礼物
I get you a nice, fucking meaningful gift
因为你干了件不可置信的蠢事
because you did something so colossally fucking stupid
所以 你现在没法归队了
that you can't get on the force now.
然后我觉得你需要点鼓励
Then I figure you need a little bit of a pick-me-up
因为你这经历一定很他妈的可怕
Because it's got to be a goddamn daunting thing
就你现在这样 你♥他♥妈♥得重新规划人生
to fucking reconsider your entire fucking life trajectory!
-米奇 -闭嘴 伯特温
- Mitch - Shut the fuck up, Botwin!
我救了你
I saved you.
你知道这话是什么意思么
You know what that means?
你♥他♥妈♥最好别做蠢事
Do the right fucking thing.
大家听着
Listen, everybody!
我看透了这栋建筑里勾当
I have seen what's inside this building!
我希望你停下 转过身 走开
I want you to stop, turn around, and walk away!
里面什么也没有 我们只是行尸走肉
There's nothing inside, for we are dying meat!
我们都只是块走肉 一点也不特别
We're meat, and we're un-special,
没人会记住我们 我们都孑然一身
and no one remembers us, and we're utterly alone!
对自己好一点吧 走吧
So do yourself a favor and walk away!
这世上没有计划可言
There's no plan!
除了随机和混乱什么也没有
There's nothing but randomness and chaos.
只有熵值和缓慢而无法阻挡的腐烂
And entropy and a slow, certain decomposition
最终 你和你爱的每个人
of everything you are and everyone you've ever loved
都会烂成一块块孤零零的小零件
Into their tiny, friendless, meaty little components.
你听懂了吗 伙计
Hey, did you get that, man?!
我是认真的
I'm really serious.
你是怎么找到我的
How'd you find me?
我去了你的旧房♥子
Went to your old house.
你当时正准备离开 于是我就跟来了
You were leaving. I followed.
真可惜 其实我挺期待
Shame. I was looking forward
你以前弄的那些烧烤呢
to one of your old barbecues
烧焦的肉和塔咖提啤酒
Burnt meat and tecate.
我绝不会把肉烤焦
I never burn my meat.
这有什么关系
Oh, it's okay.
这事每个人都会经历
Happens to every guy now and again.
你还是觉得你可以开个玩笑 笑一笑
You're under the impression you could just make a joke, smile,
跳支舞 然后就能奇迹般的
do a brick dance, and somehow, what,
让一切都好起来
everything becomes okay?
这方法至今为止都管用
Worked for me so far.
错了 我们不是小孩了 死亡现在离我们更近了
Nah. We older. Death is closer.
我们会再次联手的
We're gonna work together again.
你算错了 白妞
You miscalculated, blanca.
你还以为我们仍是过去的南希和过去的吉列尔莫
You still think of us as the old nancy and the old Guillermo.
那两个穷鬼太单纯了
Those two poor fuckers are so innocent.
他们根本不知道
They don't know that they got
前路困难重重
10,000 miles of bad road ahead of them.
放下枪 黑鬼
Man, put down the gun, cocolo.
不 你放下
No, no, no, you put down the gun,
不然我爆了他的头
Or I will blow this motherfucker's head
然后直接拖到格伦戴尔
Clear to Glendale.
吉列尔莫 吉列尔莫 我预见未来了
Guillermo, Guillermo, I've seen the future.
未来就是合法大♥麻♥的
The future is in legalized pot.
你以为中国帮和越南帮都很厉害
You think the Chinese, the Vietnamese gangs are tough?
如果我俩练手 其威力绝对超乎你想象
Corporations are the biggest thugs you've ever seen.
我现在邀请你入伙
I'm offering you an in.
你让我们在这里种植 我给你做股东
You let us grow here, I make you a shareholder.
大股东
Ground floor.
忘记那个罪犯吉列尔莫·加西亚·戈麦斯
Forget Guillermo Garcia Gomez, criminal.
现在是董事会成员 吉列尔莫·加西亚·戈麦斯
Now it's Guillermo Garcia Gomez, board member.
你在东海岸是有了个根据地
You get a foothold in on the east coast
但你还没有良驹... 这是你的一次机遇
And not with tres seis -- you'll get in right.
能赚到大笔干净钱 你能拎得清吧
Money so clean you could -- you could see through it.
所以说 你们俩又是男女朋友了吗
So, what, are you guys like boyfriend and girlfriend again?
我们从来就不是男女朋友
We were never boyfriend and girlfriend.
我们...
Well, we --
不 我们好像做过...一次
No, we did it, like, what -- one time?
-两次 -两次吗 第二次是什么时候
- Twice. - Twice? When was the second time?
那次肯定干得不怎么销魂吧
Ah, must not have made an impression, then.
所以现在怎么说
So what's it gonna be?
你是待在这继续做二流帮派小头头
Are you gonna stay here, this low-level gangster shit?
还是跟我们一起迈向未来
You gonna come into the future, with us?
听着 各位 今晚不做小组治疗了...
Mm, listen, everybody -- no group therapy tonight...
因为我有个好消息
For I have good news.
一个预言者找过我了...他来自未来
A prophet came unto me -- came from the future.
他说我将会成为人类的领袖
He told me that I would be a leader of men.
于是我立马意识到 未来的那个道格
Right away, I knew that future Doug
是不是想出了什么惊天大骗局
Probably figured out some kind of scam.
所以我昨天花了一整晚 研究了税法
So I was up all last night reading tax code,
比花政♥府♥脏钱的收♥容♥所♥
And did you know an
更好的慈善机构
even better shelter for government tit-money
乃是宗教
than a charity is religion.
-放屁 我走了 -对
- This is bullshit. I'm out of here. - Yeah.
看到了吧 每个宗教都是从背叛开始的
You see? Every religion begins with a betrayal.
所以 一开始我实施"免费福利"
So, like, at first, I'm all, "Free money."
但之后我想起来 上帝确实点拨过我
But then I remembered that god actually did touch me.
几年前 这些狗屁墨西哥人把我丢进墓穴
A few years ago, these asshole mexicans dumped me into a grave.
我向上帝祈祷 然后一通电♥话♥拯救了我
I prayed to god, and a phone call saved me!
滚吧 鲁迪
So, go on, Rudy!
滚回垃圾桶里去
Go back to pooping in a garbage can
然后继续做战争噩梦吧
And having your nam flashbacks.
或者跟着我留在这儿
Or stay here with me.
好好地坐在地板上
Get in on the ground floor of this thing.
谁知道呢
Who knows?
这到头来可能只是一场空
This could turn out to be a big hunk of bullshit.
但也只是我们自己的一场空
But it'll be our hunk of bullshit.
这就对了 你们俩
That's right, y'all.
这将成为有史以来世上最棒的文...
This is gonna be the most awesomest fucking cult --
我是说宗教
I mean religion -- in the world,
最后 道格·威尔森最高
For finally, Doug Wilson is a great man!
现在 各位 该宣誓了
Now, everyone, it's time for sacraments.
道格...
Doug...
我不是真的来自未来 这你是知道的吧
You know I'm not really from the future.
我只是有边缘性人格紊乱
I just have borderline personality disorder.
闭嘴 格里格 坐下
Shut the fuck up, Greg. Sit down.
对 缓缓吸入 跟着它
That's right -- breathe it in. Take it in, hold it.
跟着道格·威尔森 让我进入你们每个人
单身毒妈（2005）
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