单身毒妈（2005）
Weeds S08E06
Part 3
Nov. 25, 2020, 1:24 p.m.
No, no. Play together, boys,
孩子们 好好的 一起玩
or it's bedtime, all right?
要不就去睡觉了
Fine. We can build the tower.
好吧 我们可以造个塔
And I'll get a bug and I'll put it on the tower
然后我抓个虫 放上去
And torture it.
折磨他
No. No torture.
不不 禁止折磨
Happy kings and queens, okay?
国王和皇后的幸福生活 好吧
Plant-eating dinosaurs.
你的翼龙吃草不人吃
Jesus, they're multiplying.
天哪 一个变俩
That's kyle.
这是凯尔
He's a little shit. Eh. Be grateful.
一个小操蛋 你知足吧
Boys are little shits when it doesn't matter.
男孩子 操蛋的时候不蛋疼
Girls wait till they're older,
女孩子 等她们长大一些
Till they can get piercings and stds
她们就身上到处打洞 再染个性病回来
And call their mom a bag of cunts.
还骂自家妈妈是半老徐娘
On the bright side, I'm getting a job.
往好的一面看 我找到工作了
It's a real banner-fucking-day.
真是一个值得庆祝的操蛋日子
Allosaurus, crush castle!
翼龙 消灭城♥堡♥
No, no, no!
不要 不要啊
Oh, god.
我去
It's okay! It's okay! You're okay.
没事的 没事的 不哭啊
Let me see. Let me see. Let me see.
让我看看 让我看看
Oh, it's just a bump.
就小小碰上那么一点点
It's just an itty-bitty, itty-bitty, little bump.
就一点点 一点点的一小碰
He hit me. I'm calling my dad.
他打我 我要给我爸打电♥话♥
We get a horse.
我们去搞匹马
What? A horse.
什么 一匹马
We take her riding, make it look like an accident.
带她去骑马 然后做得像是场意外
You're not acci-borting my baby.
你不能这么谋害我的孩子
Or mine. Nothing's proven yet.
没准是我的 现在还说不好
This is a weird office.
这个办公室真奇怪
That sitar was george harrison's.
那把西塔琴是乔治·哈里森的
It's amazing how much you can buy at an auction
是用骗来的慈善钱
with a shitload of charity money.
从拍卖♥♥会上买♥♥的
Not sure where that mattress came from.
那个床垫不知道从哪里搞来的
Pass the bottle.
酒瓶给我
Used up all my good karma.
攒的人品都用完了
Damn you, derby sex goddess.
都怪你 性感轮滑女
It's my fault, really.
其实都怪我不好
I usually make a go for the poop chute.
我没想到会搞成这样
It was late. I didn't even try.
我一般都不内♥射♥的 但这次拔晚了
Or is this good karma?
说不定是人品好才遭这罪的
Depends on me. Me. It was me.
都怪我 怪我 怪我啊
I'm too old to run out on another kid.
我太老了 再添个孩子不妥
Andy botwin, glue of the botwin family,
安迪·伯特温 伯特温家族的万能胶
Uncle, brother, mentor...
叔叔 小叔子 精神导师
Father.
爸爸
Maybe this is another chance to do it right.
也许这是我把事做做好的一次机会
Raise a good kid -- not gay.
把孩子好好抚养长大 别又变基了
Father, father. Actual father.
粑粑 爸爸 父亲
Birth through whatever, me and the kid.
血脉相融的父子情深
Ballgames and science projects.
打球 科学小实验
I should have come on her tits.
我当初应该主攻她的奶头
Report cards and lectures and yelling for no real reason,
学生手册 家长会 没有理由的争吵
Failed expectations, false expectations -- love?
对孩子的失望 自己过高的期望 父爱
Oh, you'd never know it. I can't do it. Shit.
无法体会 也真心做不来 操
Right this way.
就这儿了
Uh, hey, guys.
你们好
Uh, what's going on?
怎么了
Unwanted pregnancy.
意外怀孕
You got a horse?
你们能搞到马吗
I'm calling my daddy.
我要给我爸打电♥话♥
What about those, um...
我们来玩那些日本游戏卡吧
Japanese cards with the weird animals?
就.. 上面有丑不拉几怪兽的那个
Do you like those? I think we have some of those.
你喜欢玩吗 我们家貌似有
Pokemon. I hate pokemon.
我不要玩神奇宝贝 我最讨厌神奇宝贝了
Okay.
那好吧
Um, what about, um, a book? No, a movie.
看书怎么样 看电影呢
You want to watch a movie? Let's watch a movie.
想看电影吗 我们来看电影吧
I'm telling my dad,
我要告诉我爸爸
and he's going to hate you.
他会恨死你的
Kyle.
凯尔
Sit down before I microwave your allosaurus!
坐下 要不然我就用微波炉蒸干♥你♥的翼龙
Okay.
听话
You're into bugs and dinosaurs
你喜欢小虫子和恐龙
and not so into sports,
却不喜欢运动
so I'm thinking you're pretty smart, right?
我觉得你肯定很聪明 是吧
and inexplicably mature.
而且莫名地成熟
Do you know what "Mature" Means?
你知道"成熟"的意思吗
No?
不知道
Grown up,
就是长大成人
able to handle things, like the truth,
能处理很多事情 比如理解真♥相♥
and getting hit with blocks.
还有 碰上很多挫折
Lots of blocks are gonna come your way in life, Kyle.
你将来会遇上很多挫折 凯尔
Lots.
很多很多
Especially if you go on acting like this.
如果你还像现在这样行事的话 更会如此
You're gonna grow up, and people are gonna hate you --
等你长大了 大家都会讨厌你...
really not like you at all.
一点都不喜欢你
Forget girls.
女孩子就别想了
Forget friends.
朋友也别想了
Sure, some might act like your friends, but really,
有些人会装得像你的朋友 但实际上
they just want something from you --
他们只是想从你这里得到点什么
money, sex, drugs.
金钱 性 毒品
You're an asshole, and it gets you to the top.
你是个混♥蛋♥ 因为做混♥蛋♥能让你为所欲为
And guess what. There's nobody else there.
可你猜怎么着 高处不胜寒啊
So you double down and keep working.
所以你翻倍下注 穷兵黩武
And before you know it,
然后 不知道什么时候起
any family you had is long gone, too.
你所有的亲人也都离开你很久了
But...
但...
I'm thinking it's not too late
我在想 现在还不算太晚
for you to do things differently.
如果你可以换个方式行事的话
Is this 'cause you got shot in e head?
你就是因为这个才被爆的头
Um, Kyle, you're gonna play with shane for a while, okay?
凯尔 和希恩玩一会 好吗
I owe you one.
我欠你一个人情
Silas? Silas?
塞拉斯 塞拉斯
Oh, hi, mom. Just doing a little cleaning up.
老妈 我在做清洁工作
I think I pimped out both your brothers tonight.
我觉得我今晚 把你两个弟弟都给卖♥♥了
Oh, well, if you're trying to go for the trifecta, sorry,
如果你想连下第三注 晚喽
'cause I already pimped myself out.
我已经把我自己给卖♥♥了
You're drunk and dressed like a ninja.
你喝醉了 还穿得像个忍♥者
And what... Where are your plants?
还有... 你的大♥麻♥植株哪去了
Oh, those? They got stolen weeks ago.
那些啊 几周前就被偷走了
But I had a plan.
不过我有个计划
All I had to do was sneak into the house when nobody was home
我只要趁没人的时候 溜进房♥子里
and get them back.
把它们搬回来就是了
Is it technically robbery
如果要偷的东西
if you're stealing stuff that's already yours?
本来就是自己的 理论上算不算抢劫啊
Whose home?
谁家啊
You know, I don't even know their names.
我甚至都不知道他们的名字
Well, I mean, there's Tracy, of course.
不过 当中有个人叫特莱茜
She turned 50 today.
她今天五十岁了
But really, they're just strangers.
但无论如何 他们只是陌生人
Never did anything to me.
也没把我怎么地
I just let myself right in.
我就这么不请自去了
Oh, but wait.
等等
I'm not a burglar.
我可不是什么窃贼
I'm...a burglar stripper.
我...是窃贼版的脱衣舞男
Wow. Not a single piece of that made sense.
好吧 一句都没听懂
When -- what --
时间 地点
You got freaking robbed, and you didn't say anything.
你被诡异地洗劫了 可你却只字不提
单身毒妈（2005）
Weeds
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