百味超市（2015）

Superstore S01E04

Part 2 Oct. 18, 2020, 12:32 p.m.

Oh! Oh, hey, man. Meet our new employee.
噢! 噢嘿兄弟过来认识一下新同事
Jonah, meet Jonah.
乔纳这是乔纳
He's got my.. You put my clothes on him.
他穿了我的.. 你们给他穿上了我的衣服
That's funny. The name tag, and...
真搞笑还有名牌还有...
So everybody thinks he looks like me?
所以大家都觉得他和我很像?
Eh, not exactly like you.
额也不是完全一样
You're a little bit more like,
你更像是这样
"Hey, it's me, Jonah.
"嘿我是乔纳
I like to eat croissants."
我爱吃羊角包"
Is that something I say?
额我之前说过这话吗?
It sounds like something you would say.
你大概会这么讲
Yeah, or like,
嗯哼或者是
Have you seen this documentary?
你看过这个纪录片吗?
It will change your life.
它会改变你的一生
Sounds kind of British.
还有点英国口音呢
I pretend to like jazz,
我装作喜欢爵士乐的样子
because it makes me seem cultured.
因为那让我看起来好有修养
I'm Jonah. I peel bananas weird.
我是乔纳我有特殊的剥香蕉技巧
Well, that's actually a life hack.
额其实那是一个生活小窍门
So the stems create a natural holding stick.
香蕉茎秆创造了一个自然而然支撑的枝条
That's why the monkeys do it.
这就是为什么猴子们那样剥香蕉
It's, um-I saw that in a-in a documentary.
额这是我在一个额纪录片里看到的
No, honey, not another foster child.
不亲爱的这次不再是随随便便领养的孩子了
This one would be our very own baby.
这次恰恰更会像是我们自己宝贝
Well, uh, she doesn't know the sex yet,
额她还不知道是男是女
but she did have a dream
不过查宁·塔图姆
where Channing Tatum told her it's a boy.
托梦告诉她是一个男孩
Oh, my gosh!
天啊
Word on the street is there's a baby up for grabs.
传言说有一个婴儿供人竞购
Huh? Oh-oh.
啊? 啊这个
Yeah.
算是吧
We're just thinking, maybe, about adoption.
我们只是在考虑要不要让人领养这个孩子
It's a tough call.
挺让人为难的
I'm so young, and it's a lot of responsibility,
我还太年轻养大一个孩子需要太多责任了
but at the same time..
但同时..
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
啊哈啊哈
I'd like to throw my hat in the ring.
我愿意加入这场竞争
You?
你?
Yeah, a baby's been part of my life plan
是的从十岁起
since I was ten.
有个小宝宝就一直是我人生的计划之一
I've got a crap load of love to give.
我有太多太多的爱想给她了
Anyway, here are the facts:
总之我的优势如下:
I have a comfortable lap,
第一我有一个超舒服的大腿
I can get a burp out of anybody,
第二通过拍别人的背部我能让任何一个人打嗝
and I already lactate as a side effect
第三因为真菌药物副作用
from some fungal medication I'm taking.
我已经进入泌乳期了
Cool.
酷啊
It is not cool.
并不
It is disgusting, if you want to know the truth,
说实话这很恶心而且让我想吐
but in this case, useful.
但是在这种情况下可以说是有用
The point is, if you go down the adoption road,
重点是过了这村就没这店了
you could do a heck of a lot worse than me.
如你选别人收养的话你会发现他们比我差得远了
Like Glenn, for instance.
比如说格林
He'd be a lot worse.
他弱爆了
Oh, hey.
嘿
Hey. Uh, listen.
嘿额我想说
About all that mannequin stuff, sorry.
关于那个模特的事真是的是很抱歉
Everyone was just messing around.
大家只是找点乐子打发时间
Yeah, I know, I know, I know.
我知道了知道了
I shouldn't have even reacted.
我就不该有那样的反应的
I'm still new here.
我还是个新来的
I don't want my thing to be that I'm the sensitive one.
我不想大家因为看到我的表现都觉得我是最敏感的那个
Your thing?
表现?
Yeah, like, you know,
恩你懂得比如
Garrett's the cool one.
加勒特是最酷的
Glenn's the nice one.
格林是老好人
Cheyenne's the perky, sweet one.
夏安是最活泼可爱的
Carol's the one that says "Hashtag" everything.
卡罗尔是那个最会"贴标签"的
Which one am I?
那我呢
You're the, uh, responsible one.
你额是最负责的
The responsible one?
最负责的?
In a good way!
不不不褒义的那个意思
You're like the house mom of a frat.
你就像兄弟会的看管大妈
Everybody loves her.
每个人都喜欢她
They just don't expect her to be the life of the party.
大家只是不希望她参与到聚会之中来
Oh, come on. Lighten up.
拜托放松点
I'm just saying you're not, like,
我只是说你一直不像
one to joke around all the time.
一个会乱开玩笑的人呀
I mean, at least I can take a little bit of teasing.
我想说的是至少我也可以偶尔被取笑一下吧
I can take teasing.
我也可以啊
Oh, really? Yeah.
真的吗? 当然
I had older brothers.
我有一个哥哥
I-teasing does not faze me.
反正他开我玩笑我根本不在乎的
Oh, teasing doesn't even faze you?
真的? 根本不在乎?
No, it doesn't at all. I'm fine with it.
一点都不真的我一点问题都没有
Oh, good. Yeah.
那很好是啊
That's good to know.
幸好你告诉我了
It is good to know.
是挺好的
Wh-why is that good to know?
额为什么是幸好知道?
What do you know?
你到底知道了什么?
You baited the bear, huh?
你在诱引熊吗?
It's fine.
没关系的
I think it's funny.
我觉得很有趣
It's fine. I'm fine.
哥根本不在乎
This is fine.
一点都不
Why is he holding the bananas wrong?
他为什么这么拿香蕉?
It's humans that hold them wrong!
就该这么拿其实人类都拿错了!
Okay.
好了
I think that is all of our princess party supplies.
我想我们的公主派对必需品已经齐啦
I hope your cat has a wonderful birthday.
祝你的猫能过一个美妙的生日
Call that teasing?
这也能算是戏弄吗?
Because figure skating
花样滑冰可是
is one of the few sports that is also an art.
体育竞技中的为数不多的艺术呢
So, if anything, thank you.
真是谢谢您嘞
Let me help you with that.
放着我来
Oh, thank you.
谢谢你啦
You might be carrying my baby.
你可能怀着我的孩子呢
Yeah, yours or Dina's.
或者是迪娜的
What?
什么?
Dina said she might be interested
迪娜说她也对
in adopting my baby too.
领养我的孩子有兴趣
Dina? Really?
迪娜? 真的吗?
Well, whatever you think is best.
好吧做你认为是最正确的
Don't stress.
别有压力
Bad for baby.
对孩子不好
I love you, Mommy.
爱你哦妈咪
So that's what you would do if your baby cried, huh?
你的宝宝哭的时候你就是这么对待他的吗?
Oh, I guess you've heard
看来你听说了
I'll be raising Cheyenne's child.
我要领养夏安的宝宝的事了
Oh, the "H" you will.
做梦吧你
You don't know the first thing about babies.
你对婴儿一点都不了解
Do you even know how to swaddle?
你知道怎么给宝宝裹毯子吗?
I used to work part-time at Chipotle.
我曾经在快餐店兼♥职♥
Same principle as a burrito.
跟摊玉米饼是一个道理
Different wrapper and different fillings.
不过就是不同的手法
Anyway, parenting's just about instincts.
总之养孩子是一种本能
Oh, I've got instincts for days, lady.
我的本能已经养成多年了大姐
I've got instincts up the W-A-Z-O-O.
我的本能已经要溢出来了
Oh, really?
真的吗?
That was your baby.
那是你的宝宝