神探夏洛克（2010）

that is the doom of our society,
将来它也一定会终结整个人类
and in time, one feels certain, our entire species.
-不过 我们还是说说约翰吧 -拜托了
- But anyway, let's talk about John. - Please.
如果我愿意在冒险时带上一个助手
If I burden myself with a little helpmate during my adventures,
不会是因为动了感情 或是心血来潮
this is not out of sentiment or caprice,
而是因为他有着诸多优良的品质
it is that he has many fine qualities of his own
只是他自己忽略了 因为对我太过着迷
that he has overlooked in his obsession with me.
其实 如果我被认为是思维敏锐
Indeed, any reputation I have for mental acuity and sharpness comes,
都是因为约翰极为无私地衬托了我
in truth, from the extraordinary contrast John so selflessly provides.
我想 新娘在她们最重要的一天
It is a fact, I believe, that brides tend to favour
总是会偏爱平凡无奇的女傧们
exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day.
新郎和伴郎也很类似
There is a certain analogy there, I feel.
可以说 对比
And contrast is, after all,
是上帝增强自己作品美感的方式
God's own plan to enhance the beauty of his creation.
除非上帝只是个荒谬的幻想
Or it would be if God were not a ludicrous fantasy
只为给愚人们提供职业而存在
designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot.
我想说的就是 我是一个
The point I'm trying to make is that I am
极为讨厌的 无礼的
the most unpleasant, rude,
愚蠢的 可恨的混♥蛋♥
ignorant and all-round obnoxious arsehole
谁遇见我 都是一种不幸
that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet.
我对美德不屑一顾
I am dismissive of the virtuous,
对美好视而不见
unaware of the beautiful
对幸福理解不能
and uncomprehending in the face of the happy.
所以 如果受邀做伴郎时我无法理解
So if I didn't understand I was being asked to be best man,
那只是因为 我从未想过我能成为谁最好的朋友
it is because I never expected to be anybody's best friend.
更别说 成为我有幸认识的
And certainly not the best friend
最勇敢 最善良 最聪慧的人
of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being
最好的朋友
I have ever had the good fortune of knowing.
约翰 我是个荒唐的家伙
John, I am a ridiculous man.
是你温暖而坚定的友谊拯救了我
Redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship.
但是 作为你最好的朋友
But, as I am apparently your best friend,
我无法赞同你对伴侣的选择
I cannot congratulate you on your choice of companion.
不过 现在可以了
Actually, now I can.
玛丽 如果我说你配得上这个男人
Mary, when I say you deserve this man,
这就是我能想到的最高赞誉了
it is the highest compliment of which I am capable.
约翰 你经受过战争
John, you have endured war
受过创伤和失去的痛苦
and injury and tragic loss -
再次为最后那个道一次道歉
so sorry again about that last one -
请你明白 今天在你身边的
so know this, today you sit
是你选做妻子的女人 和你所拯救的男人
between the woman you have made your wife and the man you have saved.
也就是 这世上最爱你的两个人
In short, the two people who love you most in all this world.
在此 我想对你说 我们永远不会辜负你
And I know I speak for Mary as well when I say,
我知道玛丽也是这么想的
we will never let you down
我们会用一生去证明这一点
and we have a lifetime ahead to prove that.
我要是想抱他 一定拦住我
If I try and hug him, stop me.
才不会呢
Certainly not.
好的 现在我们说说约翰的趣事
Ah, yes. Now onto some funny stories about John.
怎么了 怎么回事 你们都怎么了 约翰
What's wrong? What happened? Why are you all doing that? John?
夏洛克
Oh, Sherlock!
-我做错了什么吗 -不 没有 来
- Did I do it wrong? - No, you didn't. Come here.
-我还没说完呢 -我知道 我知道
- I haven't finished yet. - Yeah, I know, I know.
-现在来说说... -你能等我坐下再说吗
- So onto some funny stories now... - Can you wait till I sit down?
好的 约翰的趣事
So, onto some funny stories about John.
你们要是都开心点就好了
If you could all just cheer up a bit, that would be better.
现在开始
On we go.
要找趣事
So for funny stories,
没有比约翰的博客更好的了
one has to look no further than John's blog.
这里记录着我们共度的时光
The record of our time together.
当然 他喜欢把事实浪漫化
Of course, he does tend to romanticise things a bit,
不过呢 他就是个浪漫主义者
but then, you know, he's a romantic.
我们解决过一些奇怪的案子
We've tackled some strange cases.
不存在的委托人
The Hollow Client...
毒巨人
The Poison Giant...
蹲下 约翰
Get down, John!
还有些令人沮丧的案件
We've had some frustrating cases...
那是什么
What is that?
一个法国十项全能选手被发现时精神失常
A French decathlete found completely out of his mind,
周围环绕着1812个火柴盒
surrounded by 1,812 matchboxes,
全是空的 除了这一盒
all empty except this one.
这盒里面有什么
And what's in that one?
无法解释
Inexplicable.
感人的案件
Touching cases...
她打算按门铃
She's going to ring the doorbell.
不对 她改主意了
Oh, no. She's changed her mind.
她又回来了 不 她要走了
Oh, she's going to do it. No, she's leaving.
她走了 又转回来了
She's leaving. Oh, she's coming back.
她是委托人 很无趣
She's a client, she's boring.
以前见过类似状况
I've seen those symptoms before.
在人行道上徘徊不定 通常都是感情问题
Oscillation on the pavement always means there's a love affair.
当然我应该提一下房♥间里的大象
And of course I have to mention the elephant in the room...
但在这个特殊的日子
But we want something
我们需要一些特别的事情
very particular for this special day, don't we?
血染的卫兵
The Bloody Guardsman...
血染的卫兵
玛丽 教堂环节你的那部分要加强
Need to work on your half of the church, Mary,
略显不足
looking a bit thin.
孤儿嘛 我就只有很多朋友
Oh, orphan's lot. Friends, that's all I have, lots of friends.
按照安排 风琴于11点48分准时演奏
Schedule the organ music to begin at precisely 11:48...
还有两周才排练 淡定
But the rehearsal's not for another two weeks, just calm down.
淡定 我很淡定 非常淡定
Calm? I am calm. I'm extremely calm.
还是来谈宴会安排吧 来
Let's get back to the reception, come on.
约翰的表亲 坐主桌吗
John's cousin, top table?
她讨厌你 根本都不愿意想起你
Hmm, hates you. Can't even bear to think about you.
-真的吗 -二等邮件 卡片是便宜货
- Seriously? - Second class post, cheap card.
加油站买♥♥的
Bought at a petrol station.
看邮票 舔了三次
Look at the stamp, three attempts at licking,
她显然在下意识的咽唾沫
she's obviously unconsciously retaining saliva.
-那就把她丢到厕所旁边去 -好
- Ah, let's stick her by the bogs. - Oh, yes.
还有谁讨厌我
Who else hates me?
很好 多谢
Oh, great, thanks.
价值连城的画作被盗 似乎很有意思
"Priceless painting nicked." Looks interesting.
-第四桌 -完成
- Table four... - Done.
我丈夫是三个人
"My husband is three people."
-第五桌 -詹姆斯·邵托少校 他是谁
- Table five... - Major James Sholto - who he?
约翰以前的指挥官
John's old commanding officer.
-我觉得他不会去的 -他会去的
- I don't think he's coming. - He'll be there.
-来的话他会回复的 -他会去的
- Well, he needs to RSVP, then. - He'll be there.
我丈夫是三个人 很有意思
"My husband is three people." It's interesting.
他皮肤上的痣呈现三种不同的样子
It says he has three distinct patterns of moles on his skin.
三胞胎 五十万分之一的出生几率
Identical triplets, one in half a million births.
不用出门就能解决
Solved it without leaving the flat.
那么 餐巾叠成天鹅还是悉尼歌♥剧院
Now, serviettes... Swan or Sydney Opera House?
你在哪儿学的这一手
Where did you learn that?
刑侦领域
Many unexpected skills are required in the field
需要很多技能
of criminal investigation...
撒谎 夏洛克
Fibbing, sherlock.
我揭穿过一个不在场证明
I once broke an alibi by demonstrating
-方法是展示折痕的... -我不是约翰
- the exact severity of a fold... - I'm not John,
-我知道你在说谎 -好吧 找网上视频学的
- I can tell when you're fibbing. - OK, I learnt it on YouTube.
那就悉尼歌♥剧院 等一下 手♥机♥震动了
Opera House, please. Oh, hang on, I'm buzzing.
喂
Hello?
嗨 贝思
Oh, hi, Beth.
是啊 是啊 行啊
Yeah, yeah, I don't see why not.
如果是贝思 大概也要找我 等一下
Actually, if that's Beth, it's probably for me too, hang on.
他知道我们没有一个叫贝思的朋友
He knows we don't have a friend called Beth,
他会知道这是我们对的口令
he's going to figure out that it's code.
-他在网上学叠餐巾 -他想得周到
- He's YouTubing serviettes. - He's thorough.
-他害怕了 -当然不是
- He's terrified. - Of course he's not.
当你害怕一些事情
When you're scared of something you
你就希望快点发生 只为赶快完事
start wishing it sooner, just to get it all going.
他就是这样
That's what he's doing