主宰世界（2021）

他在我生命中最糟糕的时候离开了我
that he was leaving me at the worst time of my life
因为他真的要离开我了
because he was actually leaving me
在我生命中最糟糕的时候。
at the worst time of my life.
嗷呜。
Aww.
伟大。
Great.
闻起来像他。
It smells like him.
烧一个300美元的鹅绒枕头有错吗？
Is it wrong to burn a $300 goose-down pillow?
你如何拥有它？
How do you own this?
赃物袋,VMA。
Swag bag, VMAs.
我的意思是,我可以帮你把它从你手上拿下来
I mean, I could take it off your hands for you
如果需要说明,。
if you want.
他可能羞于和我在一起。
He's probably ashamed to be with me.
#whattheElla 在我的Reddit AMA之后流行了六个小时,
#whattheElla trended for six hours after my Reddit AMA,
所以他可能认为我是一个失败者。
so he probably thinks I'm a loser.
你不是一个失败者。
You are not a loser.
他是个失败者。该死的失败者。
He's a loser. Fucking loser.
但他是我一生的挚爱。- 我们不要夸张。
But he's the love of my life. - Let's not get hyperbolic.
也许你应该吃点东西。
Maybe you should eat something.
还记得上次我吃了5张餐巾纸吗
Remember the last time I ate 5 Napkin
我喝得酩酊大醉,吐得满床都是？
and I got so drunk I threw up all over my bed?
我得到了你,嘘。
I got you, boo.
我会确保你吐进厕所。
I'll make sure you puke into the toilet.
或者,你知道,靠近它的地方。
Or, you know, somewhere close to it.
我从没想过安德森值得哭泣,好吗？
I never thought Anderson was worth crying over, okay?
但是,嘿,她喜欢他,我爱他。
But hey, she likes him, I love him.
她没有地位
She is in no position
来判断我和马修的关系。
to judge my relationship with Matthew.
她什么时候判断的？
When did she judge?
我忍♥不住他成功了。
I can't help that he's successful.
而且,是的,他在我的职业生涯中说明了我,
And, yes, he helps me in my career,
但我们在同一个领域工作。
but we work in the same field.
他怎么能不呢？
How can he not?
我觉得我错过了什么。
I feel like I missed something.
然后在派对上,
And then at the party,
她站在角落里看著我,
she's standing in the corner watching me,
我知道她坐在那里
and I know she's sitting there
以为我表现得像个小姐
thinking I'm acting like a missus
他还不是我的丈夫,
and he's not my husband yet,
当然,当巴蒂斯特叫我出来时,
and, of course, when Baptiste calls me out,
艾拉什么也没说,因为她同意她的观点！
Ella says nothing because she agrees with her!
好吧,让我们说这就是艾拉的想法......
Okay, let's say that's what Ella was thinking...
你是个小姐,等等,等等。
That you're a missus and blah, blah, blah.
更好的问题是:
The better question is:
谁在赋予它生命？谁让这一切变得重要？
Who's giving it life? Who's making any of it matter?
我是？
I am?
镜子,镜子,甜心。
Mirror, mirror, sweetheart.
你似乎很确信你的生命在两年前结束了。
You seem pretty convinced your life ended two years ago.
我在20岁出头的时候感觉很特别！
I spent my early 20s feeling special!
我的未来是光明的。
My future was bright.
我受到了极大的青睐...
I was highly favored...
所有黑人女孩的魔法行话都完全有效,
All the Black-girl magic jargon in full effect,
然后,砰,它蒸发了。
and then, bam, it evaporated.
现在我被困在一份我非常确定我比
Now I'm stuck at a job I was so sure I was better than
那只是因为倒钩,上帝保佑她,
and that's only because Barb, God bless her,
很客气,给了我一个机会
was gracious enough to give me a chance
在我表现得像个傲慢的驴子之后。
after I acted like an arrogant ass.
布亚。
Booyah.
哇,这是... - 很多。
Wow, it's... - A lot.
我知道。
I know.
我把它放在一张纸条上以示效果。
I put it on a slip of paper for effect.
编辑总监。你说什么？
Editorial director. What do you say?
这是非常慷慨的,但是...
It's very generous, but...
我不能接受。
I can't accept it.
啊。试图谈判。
Ah. Trying to negotiate.
精明。
Savvy.
倒钩,我要忙了
Barb, I'm gonna be busy
写我的第一本书！
writing my first book!
这将是一本回忆录。
It's gonna be a memoir.
回忆录？29岁？
A memoir? At 29?
我至少在34岁之前才变得有趣,
I didn't become interesting until I was at least 34,
我还没有写过他妈的书。
and I have yet to write a fucking book.
看
Look,
我不是故意在你的梦想中拉屎,孩子,
I don't mean to shit all over your dreams, kiddo,
但有很大的不同
but there's a big difference
在成为有影响力的博客人之间
between being an influencer bloggy person
和实际作者。
and an actual author.
听起来你在为我的梦想拉屎。
It sounds like you're shitting on my dreams.
哦。你知道我喜欢你。
Oh. You know I enjoy you.
你的小咆哮...“我的头发不是我的超能力,”
Your little rants... "my hair's not my superpower,"
呃,“我的眼泪很贵”...
uh, "my tears are expensive"...
经常让我在地铁上大声笑。
Often make me LOL on the subway.
但他们只是沉思。
But they're just musings.
十万粉丝不同意。
A hundred thousand followers disagree.
认为你需要做一个肠道检查。
Think you need to do a gut check.
看看你是否准备好深入回忆录。
See if you're ready to go deep enough for a memoir.
我的出版商刚刚发布了一本畅销书
My publishers just released a bestseller
由一个八岁的孩子,
by an eight year old,
证明你永远不会太年轻
proof that you're never too young
如果你有话要说。
if you have something to say.
是的。
Yeah.
你说的是三年级学生
You're talking about a third grader
内战期间在叙利亚长大,
growing up in Syria during the civil war,
“因为苹果和战区,亲爱的。
'cause apples and war zones, dear.
倒钩,我重视你的意见,真的,但是
Barb, I value your opinion, truly, but
有时,即使你错了。
sometimes, even you're wrong.
命名时间。
Name a time.
谢谢。
Thank you.
毫米。
Mm.
真是一场灾难。
What a disaster.
好吧,我不知道她是否真的说过,
Okay, I don't know if she actually said,
“真是一场灾难,”但是... - 听著。
"What a disaster," but... - Listen.
你失去一些信心是有道理的。
It makes sense that you've lost some confidence.
我们必须努力把它找回来。
We have to work on getting it back.
南城,不知道你有没有那种感觉,
Nanjo, I don't know if you get that feeling,
那种一旦你失去它就无敌了。
that kind of invincibility back once you've lost it.
我现在想的只是财务安全。
All I think about now is financial security.
它没有给无所畏惧留下很大的空间。
It doesn't leave a whole lot of room for fearlessness.
你是在用这本书作为借口。
You're using this book as an excuse.
这不是借口。事情就是这样发生的。
It's not an excuse. It's what happened.
这就是阻碍你前进的原因。
It's what's holding you back.
下一步是什么？
And what's next?
没有人会雇佣你来写这个悲伤的故事。
No one's gonna hire you to write this sad-sack tale.
你必须考虑你想说什么。
You have to think about what it is you wanna say.
你知道,已经两年了
You know, it's been two years
因为你写过任何个人的东西。
since you've written anything personal.
这是因为我太忙了
It's 'cause I'm too busy
在他妈的热茶文摘工作！
working at fuckin' Hot Tea Digest!
你说喜欢它让你痛苦。
You say that like it pains you.
上周,我们写了一篇文章
Last week, we wrote a piece
在 TikTok 上最受欢迎的狗身上。
on the most popular dogs on TikTok.
它不完全是普利策的材料。
It's not exactly Pulitzer material.
我跟著小猎犬巴迪。他很可爱。
I follow Buddy the Beagle. He's adorable.
答案是肯定的。
Of course.
看
Look,
热茶文摘是一个机会,好吗？
Hot Tea Digest is an opportunity, okay?
你有天赋,你有时间,
You've got the talent, you've got the time,
如果你愿意,你可以重新开始。
and if you choose to, you can start over.
这是一种奢侈,而不是负担。
That is a luxury, not a burden.
如果你没有为你的未来而出现,
If you don't show up for your future,
没有其他人会。
no one else will.