主宰世界（2021）

《主宰世界》前情提要...
Previously onRun the World...
我仍然认为我们可以避免
I still think we could avoid
很多这种愚蠢的偷偷摸摸的废话
a lot of this stupid sneaking-around nonsense
如果我们刚刚披露了我们的关系
if we just disclosed our relationship
到大学。
to the university.
我♥操♥了那个社区的皮人
I fucked that community peen guy
在灵魂男孩派对之后。
after the Soulja Boy party.
你为什么待两年？
Why did you stay for two years?
你不再接我的电♥话♥了。
You stopped answering my calls.
我赶回家干什么？-给我的。
What was I rushing home for? -For me.
离婚出奇地容易。
Getting divorced is surprisingly easy.
干杯！
Cheers!
离婚就像死亡一样。
Divorce can be like a death.
我很好,真的。
I'm fine, really.
厨房♥很小。
The kitchen's small.
你做饭？
You cook?
没有。
Not really.
这是一套低于3,000美元的两居室公♥寓♥,
It's a two-bedroom apartment under $3,000,
低于135街。
below 135th Street.
你想要吗？-我明天可以告诉你吗？
Do you want it? -Can I let you know tomorrow?
我没有把你当成赌博类型,
I didn't take you for the gambling type,
但可以肯定。
but sure.
我需要就业证明,
I'll need proof of employment,
连续三个月的银行对帐单,
three months of consecutive bank statements,
两年的纳税申报表-- -都在这里。
two years' tax returns-- -It's all here.
我还包括了我的血型,胸罩尺寸,
I also included my blood type, bra size,
以及我月经周期的开始日期。
and the start date of my menstrual cycle.
我出生在龙年
I was born in the year of the Dragon
我的星座是金牛座。
and my astrological sign is Taurus.
嗯,当然是。嗯。
Mm. Of course it is. Hmm.
你的鞋子解开了。
Your shoe's untied.
谢谢,妈。
Thanks, Ma.
呃,你能克制一下叫我妈吗？
Uh, can you refrain from calling me Ma?
明明我年纪还不够大,不能做你的母亲,所以...
Clearly I'm not old enough to be your mother, so...
你喜欢吗？
Are you fancy?
你看起来很花哨。
You look fancy.
嗯,谢谢你,嘘。
Well, thank you, boo.
你一定对那些新的篮球场感到兴奋。
You must be excited about those new basketball courts.
不,他们不是为我们建造的。
Nah, they ain't built it for us.
他们为花哨的人建造了它。
They built it for the fancy people.
里科,来吧。-再见,马。
Rico, come on. -Bye, Ma.
胡桃夹子！胡桃夹子！
Nutcrackers! Nutcrackers!
我得到了坚果,你们。
I got the nutties, y'all.
对不起！对不起,先生！
Excuse me! Excuse me, sir!
胡桃夹子上的二对十！
Two for ten on the nutcrackers!
你好！
Hi!
♪ We're running We're running, we're running ♪
♪ We run the world We run the ♪
猜猜是谁终于修好了冰箱灯。
Guess who finally fixed the refrigerator light.
查看了杂工格雷格教程
Checked out that Greg the Handyman tutorial
在YouTube上,瞧。
on YouTube, and voilà.
哦。-哦,呃-
Oh. -Oh, uh--
我还换了衣柜里的灯泡。
I also changed the light bulb in the closet.
哦！太好了,杰森。
Oh! Great, Jason.
我得到了金博的。
I got Jimbo's.
哦！-嗯嗯。
Ooh! -Mm-hmm.
早餐吃汉堡？
Burgers for breakfast?
是的,额外的乳酪和培根油炸得很厉害。
Yup, extra cheese and bacon fried hard.
胡安说嘿。
And Juan says hey.
我的男人。 -嗯嗯。
My man. -Mm-hmm.
总是煮得非常好。
Always cooks it perfectly medium well.
嗯！
Mmm!
嘿嘿...
Hey, um...
看看这个地方。
check this place out.
我,呃——我今天早上去看了。
I, uh--I went to see it this morning.
还有什么比专案中产阶级化更糟糕的吗？
Is there anything worse than gentrifying the projects?
其实真的很好。
It's actually really nice.
房♥间很大,经过了全面装♥修♥。
It's huge and completely renovated.
电梯有点像尿的味道,
The elevators kind of smell like piss,
但一周后你会失明。
but you'll become nose-blind after a week.
我告诉那个家伙你明天会让他知道的
I told the dude you'll let him know tomorrow
如果你要接受它。
if you're gonna take it.
什么？如果我——
What? If I'm--
对不起。
I'm sorry.
我不知道我要搬出去了。
I didn't know I was moving out.
杰森。。。
Jason...
...我知道我们同意保持文明
...I know we agreed to keep it civil
并有意识地解耦,但是...
and consciously uncouple, but...
我们都不能继续住在这里。
we both can't keep living here.
你搬出去是有道理的。
It just makes sense that you move out.
我们现在都是和结婚时不同的人。
We're both different people now than when we got married.
现在是我们达成新协议的时候了
It's time that we make new agreements
这反映了我们已经成为谁。
that reflect who we've become.
我们的协定呢
What about our agreement
完成狂看热宝贝妈妈:底特律？
to finish binge-watching Hot Baby Mamas: Detroit?
嗯？
Hmm?
我们仍然可以这样做。
We could still do that.
我们也可以同意我保留电视吗？
Can we also agree that I get to keep the TV?
您可以保留所有电子设备。
You can keep all the electronics.
真？-是的。
Really? -Yes.
他们所有人？-他们所有人。
All of 'em? -All of 'em.
我把 Vitamix 算作电子产品。
I'm counting the Vitamix as an electronic.
很好,但我想要Wonderboom。
Fine, but I want the Wonderboom.
好吧,听著,我求求你不要拿走你的
Okay, listen, I begged you not to take yours
在你的小女孩去拉斯维加斯的旅行中,
on your little girls' trip to Vegas,
你失去了它。
and you lost it.
现在你想拿走我的。不。
And now you want to take mine. No.
好。
Okay.
我要去打坐。
I'm gonna go meditate.
好。
Okay.
并在这里“namaste”我的屁♥股♥。
And "namaste" my ass right here.
好。
Okay.
♪ Driving through the third ♪
♪ Yeah, we're cruisin' round ♪
♪ Turn the music up And the windows down ♪
♪ You're the company That I'm keeping now ♪
♪ Think I'll stay another week If time allows ♪
♪ You can hear love stories In the alleys ♪
♪ You can feel blown kisses In the air ♪
♪ Not taking life Too seriously ♪
♪ Although we ♪
♪ Pride ourselves On things providing flair ♪
什么？
What?
你知道在电影中当人们完成性行为时如何
You know how in movies when people finish having sex
他们,就像,同时平躺在床上？
and they, like, fall flat back onto the bed simultaneously?
他们从哪里来？
Where are they coming from?
哼？-
Huh? -
你知道,像这样。
You know, like this.
哦,就像婚礼破坏者一样。-完全。
Oh, like Wedding Crashers. -Exactly.
什么立场需要这种向后的信任下降？
What position requires this backwards trust fall?
他们从不承认湿点。
And they never acknowledge the wet spot.
或者去拿条毛巾。
Or go get a towel.
我去拿毛巾。-
I'ma go get a towel. -
我只是说,也许我们做得不对。
I'm just saying, maybe we're not doing something right.
我们需要「同时达到性高♥潮♥,
We need to be having "simultaneous orgasm,
不知从哪里掉到床上「电影性♥爱♥」。
fall out of nowhere onto the bed" movie sex.
我认为我们应该从Belly做性♥爱♥萤幕。
I think we should do the sex screen from Belly.
我想让珍妮特杰克逊做♥爱♥。
I wanna have Janet Jackson sex.
你说的是80年代的珍妮特还是90年代？
You talking '80s Janet or '90s?
九十 年 代。
Nineties.
哦,你想有棕褐色的性♥爱♥。
Oh, you wanna have sepia-toned sex.
我听著天鹅绒绳子度过了青春期,
I spent my adolescence listening to The Velvet Rope,
想知道性是什么感觉
wondering what sex felt like
如果真的感觉这么好,你就哭了。
and if it really feels so good, you cry.
我让你哭了吗？
Have I made you cry?
不是来自性。
Not from sex.