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No, we're not gonna die.
听我说
Listen to me.
你叫什么
What's your name?
-史蒂夫 -史蒂夫
- Steve. - Steve.
好吧 史蒂夫
All right, Steve, well...
这一切 你的腿 坠机
you know, this whole thing, your legs, the plane crash,
都只是上帝的测试
it's all just a test from God.
正如古时的先知
Like the prophets of old.
祂不想夺去我们的性命
He doesn't want to kill us.
祂只想看看我们有多少能耐
He just wants to see what we're made of.
我们就让祂开开眼 好吗
And we're gonna show Him. Okay?
如果我不信上帝呢
What if I don't believe in God?
我不会怪你
Well, I wouldn't blame you for that.
你不需要相信祂
You don't need to believe in Him.
相信我就行了
Just believe in me.
好吧
Okay.
我是说 我都跟着你走了这么远了 对吧
I mean, you got us this far, right?
你要做我的贴身仆从
You're to be my valet.
是的
Yeah. Uh...
是这样的 我不太会
Thing is, uh, I don't really know a whole lot
服侍别人 但他说他们缺人手
about, um, valet-ing, but he said they're short staffed --
是我们缺人手 圣杯缺人手
well, we're short staffed, The Grail is.
是的 我会 我会做你的贴身仆从
Yeah, I'm -- I'm to be it.
我会服侍你
I will be valet-ing you.
你叫什么名字
What's your name?
玛妮·波莫兰茨
Marnie. Pomerantz.
我是耶稣基♥督♥
I'm Jesus Christ.
怎么了
W-What?
玛妮 你有麻烦了
Marnie. You're in trouble.
你能开下门吗
Uh, do you mind?
好的
Oh. Yeah.
圣父
Allfather.
阁下
Your Grace.
您可以随意享用梅察达的各项设施
Masada is at your disposal.
美食广场 健身房♥ 蒸汽浴 桑拿房♥
Food court, gym, steam, sauna.
某处还有个小礼堂
There's a chapel... somewhere.
您来自地狱的对手也刚刚抵达
Your counterpart from Hell has also just arrived.
-我觉得... -圣父
- I imagine -- - Allfather...
你的耳朵
your ear.
看起来像...
It looks like...
没什么可担心的
Nothing to concern yourself about.
外科医生说它已经在恢复了
Surgeon assures me it's on the mend.
好吧 如果没别的事
Well. If there's nothing else?
你太热情了 圣父
You're a most gracious host, Allfather.
我认识你吗
Do I know you?
不 先生
No. Sir.
我觉得很面熟
Your face is familiar.
也许 也许你在餐厅见过我
Maybe you've, uh -- Maybe you've seen me in the food court.
不
No.
我认识你
I know you.
圣父
Allfather.
我什么时候能见到我的孩子
When do I get to meet my Child?
我的后代 我的骨肉
My descendent. Flesh of my flesh.
我听说他很会跳舞
I hear he's quite a dancer.
没错
Oh, indeed.
别担心 阁下
Fear not, your Grace.
等时机成熟
When the time is right,
我保证会把您隆重地引荐给他
I'm certain you will have a glorious introduction.
到时见 阁下
Until then, your Grace.
看到了吗
See?
你真的有麻烦了
You are in trouble.
天堂
耶稣基♥督♥
地狱
阿道夫·希♥特♥勒♥
耶稣问起他的孩子了
Jesus is asking after "His Child."
那个克隆的替代品做得怎么样了
How are we progressing with the clone replacement?
当然 我们连个发布日期都没有
Of course we don't even have an air date yet,
但他总得能见人吧
but would he be presentable?
不能让任何人知道我们弄丢了他
No one can know we lost him.
明白吗 任何人
Understand? No one!
当然
Of course.
我会确保准备好替代品及时准备好
I'll make sure the replacement is ready if need be.
您还有什么别的想法吗 先生
Something else on your mind, sir?
没有
No.
允许畅所欲言 先生
Permission to speak freely, sir.
我注意到您最近
I can't help but notice a certain...
有些倦怠 先生
languidness in you as of late, sir.
作为您的知己 如果我不提醒您
As your sworn confidante, I would be remiss in my duties
别在意最近受到的挫折 就太不负责任了
to not remind you that, despite these recent setbacks,
您仍是至高无上的唯一圣父
you are still the sole and sovereign Allfather.
圣杯的所有军队都任您差遣
The full force of The Grail at your disposal.
世界唾手可得
The world at your fingertips.
虽然从我的角度
And from where I stand,
总是看到事物最黑暗的一面
while things may seem at their darkest,
但依我的拙见 您确实是
in my humble opinion, you are, in fact,
进展不错
sitting pretty.
演讲模板放在您的桌子上了 先生
Presentation packet on your desk, sir.
我先出去了
I'll leave you to it.
天启 2020年
世界末日
第一阶段
渗透
将圣杯信徒安插到政♥府♥关键位置
进展不错
Sitting pretty.
记得一定要系好绳结
Make sure you tie off the knot.
然后
Then...
系紧后支索
...make the backstay tight.
我们现在只需要一点风
All we need now is some wind.
你从哪里学会这些事的
Where the hell'd you learn how to do that?
我认识一个女孩很擅长这种事
Girl I know. She's good at this kind of thing.
厉害
Damn.
这不算什么
Ah, this is nothin'.
我有一次看到她用割草机和根汁啤酒
I once saw her build a land mine
造了一个地雷
out of a lawnmower and root beer.
是吗
Yeah?
我只需要女人懂怎么熨连衣裙
All I need is a woman who knows how to iron a dress shirt
-我就会娶她了 -该死 你的胳膊
- and I'll marry her. - Oh, shit. Your arm!
我的 我的手
My -- My hand.
我把手放在水里的时候肯定被鲨鱼...
When it was dangling in the water, a shark must've --
我怎么会没感觉到
How'd I not feel it?
因为我要你感觉不到
'Cause I told you not to.
这样好多了
That's better.
看起来应该会很疼
I mean, it looks like it should really hurt.
我们的计划是这样的
Here's the plan.
我们要行驶到澳大利亚的那个海滩
We're gonna sail to that beach in Australia.
我们能搞到一大堆啤酒 很多美味的牛排
We're gonna get a bunch of beers, a couple of nice steaks.
我们能坐在阳光下 我们能找人把你治好
We're gonna sit in the sun, and we're gonna get you fixed up.
这就是我们的计划
That is the plan, right?
你这个混♥蛋♥
Oh, you son of a bitch!
我知道你在干什么了
I see what you're doin'.
这是我和你之间的事 和他无关
This is between me and you! Not him!
他会死的 除非你赶紧停手
He's gonna die out here unless you cut this shit
做些什么
and do somethin' right now!
他怎么说
What'd He say?
他说 马上
He said, "Soon."
好吧
Oh, good.
马上总比再说好
Sooner is probably better than later.
对不起我之前撒谎了
Sorry I lied before.
你看起来像个很好的人
You seem like a super-nice person.
显然
Obviously.
你看上去也像个很好的人 玛妮
Well, you seem like a nice person, too, Marnie.
其实我叫图丽普 那也是我的谎言
Actually, my name's Tulip. I lied about that, too.
对不起
I'm sorry.
我明白了
I see.
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