心机女孩（2019）

你要回家了
You're coming home
就现在
right now.
你怎么花了这么长时间 戒指呢
What's taking so long? Where's the ring?
没有戒指
There is no ring.
这是一场失败 就像她承诺的其他事也没做到一样
It's a bust, just like everything else she's promised us.
我们现在就带走她
We're pulling her out right now.
我哪儿都不去
I am not going anywhere.
我们定了抢劫汤普森一家的计划
We made a plan to rip off the Thompsons.
不 是你制定了计划 然后说服我们加入
No, you made the plan and convinced us to go along with it.
但是别忘了
But don't forget,
我们是你的法定监护人
we're your legal guardians,
所以我们来决定
so we call the shots.
现在进去打包
Now go, pack.
行 我跟你们回家
Sure, I'll come home with you.
我进去后
Oh, and while I'm there,
会给儿童服务机构打电♥话♥
I'll call Child Services,
告诉他们你和其他九个寄养孩子
and let them know about the scams you're running
一起搞的骗局
with your other nine foster kids.
好了
Okay, whoa, whoa.
别太激动
Let's not get excited.
我不知道他们会怎么看待订阅杂♥志♥的非法勾当
I wonder how they'll feel about the magazine subscription racket,
太阳能电池板
the solar panels con,
还有你让孩子们为他们的"曲棍球队服"卖♥♥糖果
or the kids you have selling candy for their "Hockey uniforms."
"曲棍球队服"是真的
The "Hockey uniforms" Are real.
哈博老鹰队进入季后赛
The Harbaugh Hawks made the playoffs.
我不在乎
I don't care.
你们要坐10到20年牢
You'll go to jail for 10 to 20,
我都不会去社区服务
and I won't even get community service.
你来我们家之前
You didn't know anything
对骗局一无所知
about the con game before you came to us.
你所知道的一切都是我们教的
We taught you everything you know,
你就是这样回报我们的
and this is how you repay us?
是啊 我所知道的一切都是你们教的
Yeah, you did teach me everything I know,
所以我知道现在我占优势
and that's why I know I have the upper hand here.
-我想要我的钱 -我会帮你搞到的
- I want my money! - And I'll get you your money!
按我的计划来
On my timeline.
如果我们聊完了 我得上♥床♥睡觉了
Now, if we're done here, I've got to get to bed.
早上我有几何考试
I've got a geometry quiz in the morning.
好吧
Fine.
但我们最好赶快拿到现金
But we'd better see some cash real soon,
否则我就要戳穿你的老底
or I'm calling your bluff.
-祝你考试顺利 -谢谢
- Good luck on your quiz. - Thanks.
哎呀
Yikes.
不
No.
发生了什么 我错过了什么
What's happening? What did I miss?
你错过了最惨的"来资助我"
You missed the saddest GoFundMe ever.
市区另一边有个叫奥马尔的孩子
Some kid named Omar from across town
他全家经历了鲑鱼捕鱼事故
was the only member of his family
只有他一个人活了下来
to survive a salmon-fishing accident.
现在他得为葬礼筹集资金 因为
And now, he has to raise money for the funeral because...
收入不平等
income inequality.
我们都不认识他 这绝对毁了我的一天
We don't even know him, and this has totally ruined my day.
我甚至难以想象
I can't even imagine what it would be like
为自己的父母筹钱办葬礼是什么感受
to have to raise money for my own parents' funeral.
我会很厉害的
Oh, I would be great at that.
干嘛 我真的很擅长筹款
What? I'm really good at fundraising.
各位 怎么了
Hey, guys. What's up?
你看了奥马尔的"来资助我"吗
Have you seen that kid Omar's GoFundMe?
我不知道你们在说什么 "来找我"是什么
I don't know what you're talking about. What's a GoFindMe?
天啊 爸爸 我为奥马尔搞的"来资助我"
Oh my God, Dad, this GoFundMe I set up for "Omar"
赚了好多钱
is making so much money.
心机妹 第一季第七集
帮奥马尔支付父母的葬礼费用
如果我有社交媒体
If I had social media,
那我早就知道"来资助我"了
I would have found out about GoFundMe ages ago.
是啊 但你不能冒险让人们认出你
Yeah, but you can't risk people recognizing you.
我知道 但"来资助我"超疯狂
I know, but GoFundMe is crazy.
你就发布一个催人泪下的故事 人们就给你钱
You just put up a sob story, and people give you money.
天啊 网络很愚蠢
Man, the Internet is stupid.
是啊
Yeah.
如果他们继续捐款
And if the donations keep going up,
说真的 我们赚了好多
honestly, we're making so much,
这可能是我最后一个骗局了
this could be the last scam I ever have to pull.
我会付清你的诉讼费
I'll pay off your legal bills,
你会出狱
you'll get out...
生活又会正常了
and life will be normal again.
好吧 妮可 一步一步慢慢来
Okay, Nicky, you know, one step at a time.
你打算怎么取出"来资助我"的钱
How will you get the money out of the GoFundMe?
我明天就去办银行账户
I'm setting up a bank account tomorrow.
别担心
Don't worry.
我们就快大功告成了
We're almost home free.
谢谢你擦干厨具 你真好
Thanks for drying. What a treat.
你为什么在帮忙 你想干什么
Why are you being helpful? What are you up to?
没什么 这是我的自然冲动
Nothing? It's my natural impulse.
我是个非常无私的人
I'm a very selfless person.
但是有个不相关的问题
But in unrelated matters,
你有没有可能考虑
is there any way you'd consider
现在给我买♥♥辆车 我以后还你钱
buying me a car now and letting me repay you later?
我觉得你把无私和自私搞混了
Oh, see, I think you're confusing selfless with self-serving.
无心之过 这很类似 只不过完全相反
Honest mistake. They're very similar, just completely opposite.
你拒绝之前 让我说出一些事实
Look, before you say no, let me just present some facts.
我申请了几十个工作
I've applied for dozens of jobs,
但它们都需要可靠的交通工具
but they all require reliable transportation.
如果我需要一辆车才能上班
How am I supposed to save money to buy a car
那我怎么上班赚钱买♥♥车呢
if I need a car to get a job?
这是典型的相互矛盾
It's a classic Catch-22.
你申请了什么工作
Okay, what jobs have you applied for?
来看看
Let's see.
国会选区的政策分♥析♥师
Policy analyst for our congressional district,
人♥质♥谈判专家
hostage negotiator,
iHeartRadio的直播明星
and on-air personality for iHeartRadio.
你根本没有资格做这些工作
You're not even remotely qualified for any of those jobs.
什么 我当然有
What? Sure I am.
我是解决问题的人
I am a fixer.
我有很强的人际交往能力和积极进取的态度
I have great people skills and a can-do attitude.
你甚至都没有高中文凭
You don't even have a high school diploma.
你需要申请入门级的工作
Okay, you need to apply for entry-level jobs.
没有捷径
There are no short cuts.
当然有捷径
Of course there's shortcuts.
我们的国家就是靠捷径建成的
Our nation is built on shortcuts.
你觉得我们妥协了
Do you think we settled
环绕南美洲航行
for sailing all the way around South America
来到达太平洋吗 不 我们分割了巴拿马
just to get to the Pacific? No, we cut Panama in half.
你这态度居然没找到工作真是"令人震惊"
With that attitude, it's shocking you haven't gotten a job.
我们不会给你买♥♥辆车
Look, we're not gonna front you a car,
但我知道一份工作可以让你挣钱
but I know a job you can do to earn the money.
-什么 -为我工作
- What? - Work for me.
裙带关系
Nepotism.
我愿意
That works for me.
我很高兴能开设我的第一个储蓄帐户
I'm so excited to open my first savings account.
苏茜·欧曼说为退休存钱永远不算早
Suze Orman says it's never too early to start saving for retirement.
天哪 你真早熟
Oh my word, aren't you precocious.
我下载了所有的文件 也填写完了
I downloaded all the paperwork, and filledxa0it out
以提高效率
to streamline the process.
我希望我所有的客户都像你一样有条理
You know, I wish all my customers were as organized as you.
我想你会发现一切都井然有序
I think you'll find everything is in order.
看起来很棒
It looks great.
你父母在停车吗
So are your parents parking?
没有
No.
我需要他们签字才能给你办账号♥
I need them to sign for your account.
他们已经签字了