好想做一次（2020）

but you can't win 'em all.
人生总不能事事如意
Well, I guess I can't relate because I do win 'em all.
我不能产生共鸣 因为我任何方面都很优秀
I'm in all AP classes and got a perfect score on my PSAT.
我修了所有先修课程 在学术评估测试预考中取得了高分
Great segue, Devi. Effortless.
接的好 德维 毫不费力
All while volunteering at the kidney dialysis center.
我还在肾透析中心做义工
When I'm not doing that,
不做义工的时候
I read Vietnam vets their Bill O'Reilly books.
我会为越南老兵读比尔·奥雷利的书
Okay, look... I can say this because I married an Indian woman
听着… 我娶了印度人所以我可以这么说
and am a proud member of this vibrant community.
作为这个充满活力团体的一员我很骄傲
But schools don't want another Indian try-hard,
但大学不会想录取一个
who is president of the padded resume club.
简历过于精彩的印度优等生
What?
什么
Renal failure is what keeps me up at night.
我热衷于肾衰竭这门学问的
Colleges want kids with unusual stories.
大学想录取经历不寻常的学生
I had this kid.
我有个学生
He got into a car crash. He was dead a full 30 seconds.
他出了场车祸 死了30秒
He said god told him to go to Yale. It worked.
他说上帝让他去耶鲁大学 成功了
Uh, I outgrew a nut allergy, so that's something.
我克服了坚果过敏 这不算寻常吧
I actually know who you are. You do?
我其实知道你是谁 是吗
You're the girl whose dad died in front of her at a concert
你是那个在音乐会上亲眼目睹父亲去世后
and became paralyzed.
瘫痪了的女孩儿
Devi couldn't believe that the major trauma of her life
德维不相信自己这么大的人生悲剧
could be reduced to a single sentence, but there it was.
一句话就说完了 但事实就是这样
Yeah. What about it?
对 怎么了
That story is freaking amazing.
这个故事太精彩了
You have the golden ticket. If you're willing to talk about it,
这是你的通行证啊 如果你愿意说的话
I bet I can get you into any school you want.
我赌你可以进任何大学
But Devi didn't want to use the story of her father's death
但德维不想用父亲去世的故事
as a way to make herself more interesting to a bunch of admission committees.
博得大学面试官的兴趣
No, I'm not gonna do that.
我不会这么做的
Well, without it, I don't get your angle.
好吧 除了这个我没看到你有什么闪光点
To be honest, I don't see how you would be different
实话讲 我看不到你和其他那些
than any other Indian kid applying to college.
申请大学的印度学生有什么区别
I'm not like any other Indian kid,
我跟其他印度学生不一样
and I'm not interesting just because my dad died.
我也不是因为父亲去世了才有闪光点
Then what makes you interesting?
那你有什么特别之处
Oh, I don't know, Ron.
我不知道 罗恩
Maybe it's my perfect grades or my killer test scores.
或许是我优秀的成绩和考试分数
Or maybe it's my bitchin' personality
或是我特别的个性
or my insane PowerPoint skills.
演示文稿做得好
I don't need some washed-up white dude, who leases a Tesla
我不需要一个租特斯拉开的白种老男人
telling me what makes me special.
来告诉我我的特别之处
Leasing is still a financial commitment!
租赁也是一种财力证明
And my monthly payment is quite high!
而且我的月薪非常高
Oh, look, an open table.
看 有空座
No, no. Come, come.
不行 过来
Hey, kids, move.
孩子们 走开
Just take your slime and go.
那边玩去
Come on. People are still eating.
给吃饭的人腾地方
Why could we not sit there?
我们为什么不坐那
That's Jaya Kuyavar.
那是加雅·库亚瓦尔
She came from Chennai, went to UCLA for her doctorate,
钦奈人 在加州大学洛杉矶分校读博
parents found her a nice boy back home to marry.
父母给她在家找了个好男人
Then she ran off with an American man.
她却和一个美国人私奔了
A Muslim.
是个穆♥斯♥林♥
Parents never spoke to her again.
父母再也没跟她说话
Did they come for the wedding?
他们来参加婚礼了吗
Are you out of your mind? You heard me say he was a Muslim.
你疯了吗 没听见我说他是穆♥斯♥林♥吗
I feel bad for her.
我为她感到惋惜
We should sit with her.
我们该和她坐一起
Can't risk it right now.
不能冒这个风险
We're already borderline outcasts.
我们已经徘徊在边缘地带了
Devi, what did you do?
德维 你干了什么
I heard from half a dozen aunties that you yelled at college counselor Ron,
我听七八个阿姨说你跟大学顾问罗恩吵起来了
and made fum of his electric car!
还嘲笑他的电动汽车
He deserved it.
他活该
He said I'm just like any other Indian kid applying to college.
他说我和其他申请大学的印度学生没区别
It was so offensive!
太没礼貌了
So disappointed in you.
我对你太失望了
I'm gonna eat somewhere else. Please go.
我去别的地方吃 快走
Is this yours?
这是你的吗
Oh, thank you so much! Yeah.
非常感谢 没关系
You left it on the table.
你忘在桌子上了
The table you were sitting at after you and your aunt
在你和你姑姑躲开我后
made a beeline to get away from me.
坐下来的那张桌子上
No, we weren't trying to avoid you.
不是 我们没想躲着你
You seemed so popular, we didn't want to take up seats for your friends.
你看起来很受欢迎 我们不想占了你朋友们的座
Sure.
好吧
Hey, um... I need a break from these aunties.
嘿... 我想避开这些阿姨一会儿
You want to go check out the vending machines? My treat?
去看看贩卖♥♥机那儿有什么 我请客
Okay.
好呀
Yeah, so basically, I'm the Hester Prynne of the Indian community
对 我算是圣费尔南多谷
I wish I had a less ninth-grade-book analogy for it,
我希望能不用9年级的阅读书目来比喻我的处境
but it's accurate.
但这个更准确
So you're ultimately very happy with your decision
那你最后为自己的决定开心吗
even though you got divorced?
即便你离婚了
Of course not.
当然不开心
No.
不
I mean look at me.
看看我
My closest Indian friend is a woman I met seven minutes ago.
我最亲密的印度朋友是我刚认识七分钟的人
No. I wish I had just listened to my family
我当时真应该听家人的话
and married the guy that they chose.
嫁给他们为我选的男人
Then maybe I wouldn't be divorced.
那样我没准就不会离婚
You know, my kids ask about their grandparents,
我的孩子们问到外婆外公的时候
and... I don't know what to tell them.
而... 我都不知道怎么回答他们
Maybe they'll get over it.
他们或许会不再计较的
Do you have a sibling, who could have a drug problem
你有吸毒的兄妹吗
or go to community college? That would help.
或是上社区大学的 那会好一些
No, I got two brothers, both neurosurgeons,
没有 我的两个兄弟都是神经外科医生
had a double-arranged wedding with millionaire Hindu sisters.
跟一对身家百万的印度教姐妹同一天结的婚
As my cousin would say, "That sucks a fat one."
要是我表妹 她会说"垃圾透了"
Yeah, I agree.
是的 我同意
Anyway, I think I'm going to head out.
好了 我该走了
You know, these things aren't really that fun
当别人都对你议论纷纷的时候
when everyone is whispering about you.
有些事就没那么好玩了
But hey, good luck on your engagement...
不过 祝你订婚成功
and don't screw it up, yeah?
别搞砸了 记住了
Devi?
德维
Paxton! What are you doing here?
帕克斯顿 你在这儿干什么
Swim practice. What are you doing here?
游泳训练 你呢
Just... Ganesh Puja.
就是… 甘尼许节
It's a weird Indian thing.
奇怪的印度风俗
What do you do for it?
你们怎么庆祝呢
We eat and pray to Ganesh.
吃东西然后向甘尼许祈祷
He's the elephant god.
他是象头神
He's sort of a big deal to Indians.
是印度人挺崇拜的神
I mean Hindus.
我是说印度教♥徒♥
'Cause, you know, there are Muslim Indians, Sikh Indians, Jains, and--
因为还有穆♥斯♥林♥教♥徒♥ 锡克教♥徒♥ 耆那教♥徒♥…
Honestly... You don't have to give me
其实… 好了 你不用
the Wikipedia page on India.
给我普及印度百科知识
Sorry.
抱歉
So is part of Ganesh Puja kicking lockers in anger?
所以是甘尼许节搞得你生气踢柜子
No, that was unrelated. That didn't have...
不 跟那个没关系 那没…
You were joking.
你是在开玩笑啊
No, I just got mad, which is something I'm working on.
我只是生气了 我在努力改啦
You do have kind of a temper, huh?
你确实脾气不小
It's not my fault.
不是我的错
Some old loser was telling me that I'm too Indian,
一个老混♥蛋♥刚说我太印度了
and some other people think I'm not Indian enough.
其他人却认为我不够像印度人
And honestly, all I want to do is eat a doughnut,
说实话 我就想吃个甜甜圈