市长先生（2021）

Mr. Mayor S01E06

Part 4 March 15, 2021, 10:48 a.m.

老奶奶一样
in a Life Alert commercial.
接下来一整天我心情都不好
I was in a bad mood the rest of the day.
所以我们该解雇他吗
So should we fire him?
或是直接找个暴民把他推特网暴至死
Or just have an angry mob Tweet him to death?
坐下阿比
Sit down, Arpi.
什么我等你只是因为
What? The only reason I was waiting for you
那样我就不用一个人走了
was so I didn't have to walk by myself!
因为每次我一个人走汤米都会抓我肚子
Because when I do, Tommy grabs my tummy
让我交肚肚税
and makes me pay a tummy tax.
汤米那样做是不允许的
Tommy, that is not acceptable.
好但那没有情♥色♥意味我只是在捉弄他
Okay, but it's not sexual. I'm just being mean.
但那让人很困扰
Well, it's oppressive.
老实说我也不喜欢
Honestly, I didn't like it
你今天早上摸我大腿
when you touched my thigh this morning.
我也不喜欢
I didn't like it either.
如果双方都不喜欢那就不算是骚扰
It's not harassment if both people hate it.
不规定适用于所有人
No. The rules apply to everyone.
所以我是冈瑟吗不不不不
So I'm the Gunther? No. No, no, no.
我没通过
I failed this test
是因为它与我的经验不符
because it doesn't reflect my experience.
就好像一只羚羊参加鱼的考试
I'm a gazelle taking a fish test.
也不符合我的经验
It doesn't reflect me either!
我是个不摸任何人的好孩子
I'm a nice boy who doesn't touch anyone.
这小册子上的怪叔叔却和我长得一模一样
Yet every creepy guy in this pamphlet looks exactly like me.
我以为那就是你
I thought that was you.
这不公平
It's not fair.
我从不骚扰任何人
I don't harass anyone.
我只是贴心的小杰登
I'm just sweet little Jayden.
别别那样
No, don't do that.
好吧如果我不能刻薄
All right, if I'm not allowed to be mean,
他不能像英国婴儿一样讲话
he's not allowed to talk like a British baby.
我这样是为了表现得人畜无害
It's how I make myself nonthreatening.
-我的天 -说真的停下
- Oh, my God! - Seriously, stop.
别那样了
Stop that!
是蝙蝠侠做的蝙蝠侠
Batman did it. Batman.
我向上帝发誓我会解雇你的
I swear to God I will fire you.
好了好了杰登杰登
Okay, okay. Jayden. Jayden.
你现在根本就不用待在这
You don't even need to be here right now,
因为你通过了
because you passed.
而且事实上
And actually,
你们所有人都能从杰登身上学到很多
all of you could learn a lot from Jayden.
其实我作弊了
Actually, I cheated.
你什么
You what?
-我作 -不用大人的声音说
- I ch - No, talk in an adult voice.
我作弊了好吗
I cheated, okay?
在我帮你搬东西的时候我把答案记下了
When I was helping you set up, I memorized your answer key.
第一列是ECBDDC
First column is E, C, B, D, D, C,
每个怪小孩都做爹地的[首字母记忆法]
Every Creepy Boy Does Daddy's--
你作弊就是为了能去买♥♥馅饼吗
You cheated on the test so you could go get empanadas?
什么馅饼阿比
What empanadas, Arpi?
什么馅饼
What empanadas?
好了好了够了够了
Okay. Okay. Enough. Enough.
听着深呼吸杰登
Look, take a deep breath, Jayden.
好了我们得承认
All right, let's just face it.
这里没人知道正确答案是什么
No one here knows what the correct answers are.
我们只是想做对的事
We just wanna do the right thing
-因为这些新规定很重要 -没错
- because these new rules are important. - Yes.
还有苏珊我开始明白
And, Susan, I'm starting to understand
你想要我怎么样了
what you want from me.
所以就在这大庭广众之下
So here in broad daylight in front of these various witnesses...
我就问你一次
I'm gonna ask you this one time.
苏珊你愿意和我
Susan, do you wanna have dinner
在可脱游艇上共进晚餐吗
on a clothing-optional yacht with me?
可以脱衣服的裸体游艇
先生
Sir, ew.
不了谢谢
No. Thank you.
但我认为你做的不错
But good job, I guess,
因为你礼貌地问我了
because you did ask appropriately.
我没疯吧
I'm not going crazy.
我们之间不是有悸动吗
There was a vibe here.
现在就有点不礼貌了
Now it's getting a little inappropriate.
请尊重拒绝先生
Respect the no, sir.
苏珊接防狼喷雾
Susan, take Sergeant Peps.
吉明尼蟋蟀[卡♥通♥形象]
Jiminy Cricket!
肯定是因为我带着它游泳让它生锈了
It must have rusted apart 'cause I swim with it.
抱歉抱歉
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
-那是痛后失言 -没事
- That was the pain talking. - No problem.
不管这是谁请别再碰我了
Whoever this is, please stop touching me!
给你可以把这个敷在眼睛上
Here, you can put these on your eyes.
那是什么
What is that?
别怕
Don't be scared.
只是冰棒
They're only ice lollies.
我的天拜托别那样说话了
Oh, my God! Please stop talking like that!
你们是我见过最不健全
You people are the lowest-functioning,
最自我中心的一群人了
most self-absorbed group I have ever had.
为别人着想一下
Think of other people!
你别再抱怨这好难了
You, stop complaining that this is so hard.
这对大家都很难
This is hard for everyone.
至少你晚上去取车的时候
At least you can walk to your car at night
不用担惊受怕
without being afraid.
对我一点都不怕
Yes, I'm not afraid at all.
还有阿比
And, Arpi,
是的我知道是你创立的这个项目
yes, I know that you started this project,
但不是说在你之后就不会变了
but it doesn't end with you.
进步的意思就是往前进
Progress literally means moving forward.
米凯拉你的职责不是教那些人
And, Mikaela, it is not your job to educate these people.
他们要自己学到教训
They have to learn on their own.
但是你知道吗
But you know what?
如果他们真的努力
If they're really actually trying,
那你要...
then you have to--
慢点
Hold on.
你要让他们来
You have to let them live, okay?
因为同情
Because being compassionate
并不代表你是他们的人
doesn't mean you're being complicit.
谢谢
Thank you.
我会引用这一段但不会给你署名
I will post that to my story but not credit you.
你知道吗
And you know what?
是的我知道你很难过
Yes, I know that you are frustrated,
但你现在有权
but you're in power now,
权力带来责任
and that comes with responsibilities.
你都朝向我了我动了位置
You already pointed to me. I moved.
天啊我是在和那个肚肚汤米说
Oh, God, I was talking to the Tommy tummy guy.
我的眼睛真的要着火了
My eyes are, like, literally on fire.
谁能给我老婆打个电♥话♥
Can somebody please call my wife?
天啊
Oh, my God!
-你只顾你自己 -这不是针对你的
- You are so self-absorbed! - This isn't about you!
我知道我知道
I know. I know.
-我们给你弄点冰 -这些很有用
- Let's get you ice. - These really do help.
伙计们我们要小心处置这些
Hey, guys, we gotta be more careful with this.
辣脸
Spicy face!
-好吧 -你知道吗
- Okay. - You know,
「日内瓦公约」禁止了胡椒喷雾
pepper spray is banned by the Geneva Convention.
第一章第五节
Article one, section five.
但那只是战争时期的规定
But that's just for wartime.
天啊苏珊
Oh, my God, Susan!
-你没事吧 -内尔
- Are you okay? - Nell?
内尔是你吗谢天谢地
Nell, is that you? Oh, thank God.
赶紧带我离开这些家伙
Get me away from these people.
能帮我拿一下箱子吗亲爱的
Can you get that box for me, hon?
内尔
Nell?
尼尔·布里莫