市长先生（2021）

亚历克莎 萨克拉门托今天几度
Alexa, what's the temperature in Sacramento?
萨克拉门托今天天气晴朗
The weather today in Sacramento is sunny
预测气温22℃
with a forecasted high of 71 degrees.
这才是我的首府城市
That's my capital city.
亚历克莎 放一首关于加州萨克拉门托的歌♥
Alexa, play a song about Sacramento, California.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
我不知道任何关于加州萨克拉门托的歌♥
I don't know any songs about Sacramento, California.
那我们就现编一首
Then let's make one up.
*收拾行李 准备前往萨城*
*I'm packing for the Sac'*
*美好的萨城*
*Sweet Sacramento*
*不能反悔*
*There's no takin' it back*
*好好待我 萨克拉门托*
*Do me right, Sacramento*
*噢耶*
*Ho, yeah*
亚历克莎 那里的人口...
Alexa, what's the population--
抱歉 阿比
Sorry, Arpi.
我现在真得给孩子们做早餐了
I really need to get my kids' breakfast now.
当然了 不好意思 亚历克莎
Of course. Sorry, Alexa.
我太兴奋了 因为我要去...
I'm just excited 'cause I'm going to--
萨克拉门托嘛 我知道
Sacramento. I know.
有完没完
Jeez.
市长先生
第一季 第四集
公园部门终于清理干净了
The parks department finally cleaned
"好莱坞"标志上的蝙蝠粪便
the bat guano off the Hollywood sign
使之恢复原来的橙色
and returned it to its original orange color.
-抱歉 我迟到了 -早安 市长先生
- Sorry I'm late. - Good morning, Mr. Mayor.
您周末过得如何
How was your weekend?
我和奥丽共度了一个美好的周末
Oh, I had a fantastic weekend with Orly.
我们去了亨廷顿花♥园♥参加蜂蜜节
We went to Huntington Gardens for the honey festival.
真好
So nice.
我刚说到哪儿了
Okay, uh, where was I?
他们有个活动 你可以装饰一个小托特包
They have this thing where you get to decorate a little tote bag,
然后还能薅走这个小托特包
and then you get to keep the tote bag.
-您的人生如电影般精彩 先生 -下一项
- Your life is a movie, sir. - Next item.
这是暴♥力♥犯罪的热度图
this is a heat map of violent crimes and--
先生 您在投屏您的手♥机♥
Sir, you're AirPlaying your phone.
我知道
I know.
我想给大家看看托特包的照片
I wanna show everybody a picture of the tote bag.
是蜜蜂公♥寓♥耶
Ooh, a bee apartment.
等待的同时我继续往下说
Okay, uh, other items while we wait.
麦斯科曼副市长和夸比斯先生
Deputy Mayor Meskimen and Mr. Kwapis
要驾车去萨克拉门托
will be driving up to Sacramento
提出我们的反对石油钻探倡议
to present our anti-oil-drilling initiative.
洛杉矶有一千多个钻探区
Los Angeles has over a thousand drilling sites,
许多离学校和住♥宅♥区不到一百码
many within a hundred yards of schools and homes.
我感到很惊喜
I was pleasantly shocked
布里莫市长居然同意了我的计划
when Mayor Bremer agreed with my plan--
石油最蠢了
Oil's dumb.
我们可是高贵的加州
We're California.
应该引领以下产业的潮流
We should be leading the way on this stuff.
太阳能 风能 火能
Solar power, wind, fire power--
有这产业吗 我们山火多的是
Is that a thing? 'Cause fires we got.
如果我能说服州长
If I can convince the governor
将社区健康摆放在首位...
to prioritize the health of our communities--
找到了 托特包
Oh, there it is. Tote bag.
令嫒好大方高贵啊
Oh, she is majestic.
格雷戈里学校 来电
等等 怎么回事
Wait, what's happening?
好像是您女儿学校打来
I think your daughter's school is calling.
-是来电 先生 -对哦 喂
- It's a phone call, sir. - Oh, yeah. Hello.
您得先关掉投屏 先生
You have to turn your phone off AirPlay, sir.
不 现在屏幕就是手♥机♥了
No, the screen is the phone now.
你好 我是布里莫市长
Hello. Mayor Bremer here.
喂 你能听见市长说话吗
Hello? Can you hear the mayor?
被停学了 那不像奥丽的作风
Suspended? That doesn't sound like Orly.
好 我马上赶过去
All right. I'll be right there.
先生
Sir?
-先生 迅速问个问题 -现在没空 杰登
- Sir, quick question. - Not now, Jayden.
我害怕和麦斯科曼女士坐一辆车
I'm scared to be in a car with Ms. Meskimen.
你不会有事的
You'll be fine.
但车程要六小时 先生
But the trip is six hours, sir,
我不知道我们能聊什么
and I don't know what we're gonna talk about.
杰登 这种问题你怎么会来问我
Jayden, how am I the one you're asking about this?
因为我只追得上你
You're the only one I can walk as fast as.
问她关于她自己的问题
Ask her questions about herself.
人都喜欢聊自己的事
People love talking about themselves.
很好 哪种问题
Great. What kind of questions?
我不知道啊 破冰话题
I don't know-- uh, icebreakers,
开启对话的话题
conversation starters.
你不会上网搜一下吗 我的老天
You know, Google it, for crying out loud.
我会的
Will do.
有人突然间健步如飞了
And somebody turned on the long legs.
我们格雷戈里学校对网上行为
Here at Gregory, we take online behavior
和袜子高度同样重视
as seriously as we do sock height.
奥丽和一群同伴
And it seems Orly is part of a group
似乎利用社交媒体霸凌一位老师
that was using social media to bully a teacher.
孩子能霸凌成年人吗
Can children bully adults?
在我那个年代
'Cause in my day,
老师可以直接拳殴我们的
teachers could hit us with a closed fist.
我读几条人身攻击的评论给你们听
Allow me to read a few of the offending comments.
「如果酸奶表面的水是个人
"Ms. Adams is like if the water
那就是亚当斯老师的样子」
at the top of a yogurt were a person."
「亚当斯老师做了DNA检测
"Ms. Adams took a DNA test.
发现她是百分百的褐色土豆」
Turns out, she's 100% russet potato."
跟那首歌♥一样
Like the song.
不 这样太过分了
No, of course. That's--that is terrible.
但我发的内容都是为亚当斯老师说话的
But my posts are all defending Ms. Adams.
你们够了
Guys, stop.
我认为她很女权
I think it's feminist
在我们正式舞会上一个人跳舞
that she dances alone at our formals.
你们错了
You're wrong.
家庭日她带宠物沙鼠来学校很勇敢
It's so brave that she brought her gerbils on Family Day.
如果亚当斯老师是男人 社会就会赞美她
If Ms. Adams were a man, society would praise her
裤裆前面突出一坨
for having a front bulge in her pants.
够了 别放了 奥丽
That's enough, Orly.
对不起 亚当斯老师
Sorry, Ms. Adams.
你就是亚当斯老师
You're Ms. Adams?
我常告诉别人 因为我知道
Is what I tell people, 'cause I know that.
听着 亚当斯老师 奥丽只是为你说好话
Look, Ms. Adams, Orly was just being kind.
你不觉得该责怪的是其他女孩吗
Don't you think the other girls are to blame here?
有道理
Fair enough.
奥丽 你没有被停学
Orly, you are not suspended.
谢谢你 亚当斯女士
Thank you, Ms. Adams.
是啊 谢谢你 亚当斯女士 我能不能说一句
Yes, thank you, Ms. Adams, and can I just say,
我超爱你那缕白头发
I love what you're doing with the white stripe.
-别 -是啊 我被鬼触碰过
- Don't. - Oh, yes. I was touched by a ghost.
是啊 那 再见吧
Yup. Well, um, goodbye.
我就知道我不用担心你
I knew I didn't have to worry about you.
你是个好孩子 为你骄傲
You're a good kid. Proud of you.
既然我是个好孩子
Since I'm such a good kid,
能给我点钱回头跟塞维奇一起去看电影吗
can I have money to go to the movies with Ceviche later?
你们要看什么电影
What are you guys seeing?
「捅刀大屠♥杀♥2」
"Stab Massacre 2."
「捅刀大屠♥杀♥2」啊
"Stab Massacre 2"?
不可能
No way.
恐怖片会让你做噩梦
Scary movies give you nightmares.
还记得之前飞机上坐你前排的家伙
You remember when the guy in front of you on the plane
在看「小丑回魂」
was watching "It"
然后我们不得不取消你的生日派对吗
and then we had to cancel your birthday party?
-拜托 -好吧 行吧
- Come on. - Okay, fine.
但这一百块还是归我了
But I'm keeping the hundo.
就跟她妈一个样