市长先生（2021）

I've been lying here for an hour with that guy
一直盯着我 小声说"和我一起死吧"
staring down at me, whispering, "Join me in death."
那是阿尔菲斯·P·霍奇斯 洛杉矶第一任市长
That is Alpheus P. Hodges, first mayor of Los Angeles.
他也是第一个抱怨这里
He was also the very first person to complain
没有好披萨的人
that there's no good pizza out here.
你知道我现在要杀掉你有多么轻松吗
Do you know how easily I could kill you right now?
我只是想说 你现在扔不了任何东西
I'm just saying, you're in no condition to throw anything.
我让米凯拉去取消
I'll tell Mikaela to cancel.
-不 我必须要这么做 -不 你不用
- No, I have to do this. - No, you don't!
如果你取消了 没有人会在意的
No one will even notice if you cancel.
我们就说你忙着处理军队的事
We'll just say you're doing something with the troops.
这借口和例假一样万能
It's like a period; it gets you out of anything.
不 我必须要为我自己这么做
No, I--I have to do this for me.
我的祖父 菲利克斯·布里莫
My grandfather, Felix Bremer,
他是一个酸黄瓜推销员
he was a pickle salesman.
你有没有搬过酸黄瓜桶 阿比
Have you ever tried to lift a barrel of pickles, Arpi?
而且还得搬上一层层的公♥寓♥台阶
Let alone carry one up a flight of tenement stairs
且只能听到一句"我们不想买♥♥酸黄瓜"
only to be told, "We don't care for pickles"?
他就算70多岁时 转身离开房♥间
Even in his 70s, he never left a room
也会咔哒一声并上脚跟 就像再说
without clicking his heels as if to say,
"我宝刀未老呢"
"I still got it."
有一天 他戴上帽子
And then one day, he put his hat on,
走出前门的门廊
and he walked out the front parlor,
但是他做不到了
and he couldn't do it.
没有办法并上脚跟了
Couldn't click his heels.
那一刻 他死去了
In that moment, he died.
三个月后 他在科尼岛上
And then three months later, he really died
乘着「旋风号♥」真正地去世了
riding "The Cyclone" On Coney Island.
他被摔进了大海里
It just shot him right into the ocean.
他当时才74岁
He was only 74.
比现在的我大两岁
Two years older than me.
如果我都扔不了棒球
If I can't throw a damn baseball,
那就是我并不上的脚跟
that's my heel click.
我可以理解对衰老的恐惧
Well, I can relate to the horrors of aging.
我现在戴着假发
I'm starting to look more and more
越来越像我父亲了
like my father in a wig.
我绝对是不支持你的
And Lord knows I'm not rooting for you,
但我也不能让你给这间办公室蒙羞
but I don't need you humiliating the office.
这可是那个人曾经坐过的位置
A position once held by that man.
海滩派对的发明者
The inventor of the beach party.
那就帮帮我 阿比 拜托你
Then help me. Arpi, please.
好
All right!
我们需要马上准备一个冷水池
We're gonna need a cold pool, stat.
我的基♥督♥教会这时候有多动症青少年游泳活动
My Y has an ADHD teen swim right now,
但是我认识那里的接待
but I know the receptionist.
我才不去基♥督♥教会 我自己家就有泳池
I'm not going to a Y. My own home has a pool.
我们就用...你干什么
We'll use--what are you doing?
好了 只要把你弄上车就行了
Okay, we just need to get you to the car.
先生 你有扫地机器人吗
Sir, do you have a Roomba?
别太快 别太快
Not so fast, not so fast.
这地方真让我恶心
This place makes me sick.
1%的精英和他们的城♥堡♥啊
The 1% and their castles.
是0.01% 阿比
0.01%, Arpi.
我又不是律师什么的
I'm not a lawyer or something.
好吧 暴发户
All right, money bags.
为你明天愚蠢的投球做好准备吧
Let's get you ready for your stupid pitch.
别动 别乱动
Stiller! Less motion!
很好 再来
Good, again!
张嘴
Open.
不要嚼
Do not chew.
让迈克尔·威瑟利慢慢融化在你嘴里
Let Michael Weatherly dissolve.
冥想
Meditate!
不要拘泥于你的想法
Do not judge that you are having thoughts.
只要承认这些想法 让这些想法消失
Simply acknowledge them and let them pass!
再来
Again!
是啊 那姑娘看了我站在滑板车上
Yeah, this girl saw a modeling photo of me
拍的定妆照 就马上说
on a scooter and she was like,
「我一定要看看面具下的脸庞」
"I need to get all up under that helmet."
所以我们待会儿要去看棒球比赛
So we're gonna go out later to a baseball game.
那可很危险
Which is dangerous.
因为那些垒都在求着我上呢
'Cause all those bases are just begging to be gotten to.
但这是第一次约会 她应该不会带父母来
But it's a first date, so I doubt she'll bring her parents.
她可能只会带几个叔叔过来
She'll probably just bring some uncles, you know?
-你好啊 巴里 -你好
- Hey, what's up, Barry? - Hello.
你这么大步流星的干什么
What are you doing striding in?
你脚下装了弹簧吗
Is that a spring in your step?
你成功了 阿比 我觉得好多了
You did it, Arpi. I feel great!
我什么都没做 还没做
I didn't do anything! Not yet.
赶紧给我坐下 什么都别做
Now drop and give me nothing!
好吧
Okay.
市长 他们在简报室里等你了
Mayor, they're all ready for you in the briefing room.
什么 谁啊
What? Who is?
不 你忘了吗
Oh, no. Did you forget?
你这个年纪的人的确压力很大
You have a lot going on for someone your age.
没事的 先生 我还记得我的罗拉
It's all right, sir. I remember when my Lola
会去冰箱里找鞋子穿呢
started putting shoes in the refrigerator.
今天是为再市政厅工作30年及以上
Today is the recognition ceremony for employees
员工的表彰仪式
who have worked at City Hall for 30 years or longer?
不 当然饿了 我当然记得了
No, of course I--of course I remember.
我的脑袋就像钢铁...
I've got a mind like a steel--
那个抓老鼠的东西叫什么来着
what's that thing that catches rats?
捕者
Tornk.
对 不 诱捕者
Yep--no, no. Snatcher.
对 我的脑袋就像钢铁诱捕者
Yeah, I got a mind like a steel snatcher.
我照我们昨天讨论好的
I prepared some remarks
给你准备了一些致辞
for you as we discussed yesterday.
我知道 效率很高 汤米
I know! Very productive day, Tommy.
对 很好
Oh, yeah, this is good.
优秀表彰
「30年前 拍证件照的丹妮奥拉
"30 years ago, Daniela, the ID badge lady,
怀着梦想来到了市政厅
"aame to City Hall with a dream.
她的梦想就是为员工们
"A dream of photographing employees
拍摄照片并打印出来
"and then printing out IDs for them.
她一直做得太好了」
And boy, did she ever!"
她的电脑再过30秒就要自动登出了 快点
Her computer logs out in 30 seconds, move!
我是个吃软不吃硬的人
I'm actually more motivated by compliments,
你最好注意一下你的语气
so you might want to adjust your tone.
「丹妮奥拉出生于20世纪
"Daniela was born in the 20th century.
那个世纪带来了滚石
"The century that brought us The Rolling Stones,
咆哮的20年代 低腰牛仔裤 呼啦圈
"The Roaring '20s, low rise jeans, the hula hoop,
翻盖手♥机♥ 还有在此之前的...
"Flip phones, and way before that...
普通手♥机♥
"Regular phones.
从梅内德斯兄弟到威廉姆斯姐妹
"From the Menendez brothers to the Williams sisters,
待会儿再说 赶紧打印出来 汤米
"we'll proof it later, just print it, Tommy.
还是说应该保险起见再多写一点」
Or should we write more just to be safe?"
男性 未婚
Male, unmarried.
要经典款还是坏男孩款
Classic or bad boy?
-看起来都一样 -一件的规格更高
- They look the same! - One has a finer gauge check!
「但是丹妮奥拉
"But Daniela is so much more
不仅只是女性化的...
"Than just the girl version...
丹尼尔」
of Daniel."
这东西太慢了
This thing is so slow!
红毯上的鲍勃·艾格尔
Red carpet Bob Iger!
哈里王子正在等你
Prince Harry wasn't expecting you.
调皮的米特·罗米妮
Naughty Mitt Romney.
「现在让我们看看...」
"So now let's enjoy a visual tribute--"
太好了
Oh, great!
「丹妮奥拉了不起的职业轨迹」
"to Daniela's phenomenal career."
瞧瞧你啊 丹妮奥拉
Look at you, Daniela.
都很棒呢 但是每张的故事都不一样
Oh, they're all stunning but they tell different stories!
随便选一张
Just pick one!