市长先生（2021）

把包打开 出示证件
Bags open, IDs out!
亚洲人现在很火啊
Asian men are having a moment.
《寄生虫》 韩国流行乐 火星哥可能也算
"Parasite," K-pop, Bruno Mars, maybe.
火星哥的母亲是菲律宾人
你们种族也该火一把了 汤米
It's time for yours, Tommy.
把包打开 出示证件
Bags open, IDs out!
是要用证件确认我的年龄吗
Am I being carded?
请继续往前走
Keep the line moving, please.
你喷的是奥尔森姐妹推出的"白色涅槃"香水吗
Are you wearing "White Nirvana" by the Olsen twins?
下一位
Next!
你是剖腹产生产的吗
Were you a C-section birth?
因为你的头型简直堪称完美
'Cause your head shape is, like, perfect.
下一位
Next!
-我看到你了哦 孩子 -不了 谢谢 伯纳德
- I see you, son. - No, thank you, Bernard.
市长先生
第一季第五集
你怎么知道奈斯特是同性恋
How do you even know Nestor's gay?
在洛杉矶这种地方根本看不出来啊
It's impossible to tell in LA.
他做过穿线修眉
His eyebrows are threaded,
并且他身上有无糖红牛和烟雾机的混合气味
and he smells like sugar-free Red Bull and fog machines.
他还查了我的证件 然后什么都没说
But he just checks my ID and says nothing.
我都没办法让他看我一眼
I can't even get him to look at me.
这才是你的问题所在 这张照片太可怕了
Well, here's your problem. This picture is awful.
你是缺了一颗牙吗
Are you missing a tooth?
是蓝莓皮沾在上面了
It's a blueberry skin,
脖子上的荨麻疹是因为我对蓝莓过敏
and those hives on my neck are from my blueberry allergy.
早上好 团队成员 大家还好吗
Morning, team, how is everyone?
我爸的钙沉积原来不是钙
Well, turns out my dad's calcium deposit was not calcium.
-设问句无需回答 杰登 -早上好 先生
- Rhetorical, Jayden. - Good morning, sir!
为了省纸 你面前的打印件
To save paper, the printout in front of you
列出了洛杉矶目前没有着火的地区
lists the parts of LA that are currently not on fire.
真聪明
Oh, smart!
上午你需要去威尼斯镇推广
Now, this morning you're heading to Venice for the rollout
针对骑电动踏板车用户提出的头盔免费分享项目
of our free helmet sharing program for electric scooters.
我的选择可不会是保护人类 先生
Well, protecting humans would not have been my choice, sir.
毕竟现在野生动物的头号♥死亡原因
Not when the number one cause of wildlife death
就是人类强行跟它们拍照引发的心脏病发作
is heart attacks from humans posing for pictures with them.
我觉得这恐怕不是事实 阿比
I don't think that's true, Arpi.
感觉就是事实 先生
It feels true, sir.
下一项
Moving on.
道奇棒球队邀请市长
The Dodgers have invited the Mayor
明天去投第一个球
to throw out the first pitch tomorrow.
那听上去很有趣啊
That sounds like a hoot!
的确很有趣 先生
A hoot indeed, sir.
但我强烈建议你拒绝
But I'd strongly suggest you decline.
你是疯了吗 难道你不想看到这家伙
Are you crazy? What, you don't want to see
穿着棒球裤吃热狗吗
this guy in baseball pants eating a hot dog?
就是啊 市长无法拒绝棒球
Yeah, the Mayor can't say no to baseball.
这是全美娱乐项目
It's America's pastime.
但这事没有半点好处
But there's zero upside to this.
投第一个球就像当妈一样
Throwing a first pitch is like being a mom.
做得好 没人会注意或在意
If you do a good job, no one notices or cares.
这真是大实话
Well, that is true.
大家一般只会听说投得超级烂的第一个球
You only hear about first pitches when they go really bad.
然后你会想着 "50美分是快死了吗"
And then you're like, "Oh, no, is 50 Cent gonna die soon?"
歌♥手50美分曾投出超级烂的第一个球
好了 我明白是什么情况了
Okay, I see what's going on here.
-你们都觉得我太老了 -不是那样的 先生
- You all think I'm too old. - That's not true, sir.
就算你是个婴孩 我也会说同样的话
If you were a baby, I'd say the same thing.
你去告诉道奇队我会到场的
You tell the Dodgers I'll be there.
先生 我们还有大概20个项目要过一遍呢
Sir, we still have, like, 20 more items to go over.
我知道 早上好
I know. Morning!
谢谢各位今天前来帮助我们开启"安全洛杉矶"项目
Thank you all for coming out to help us kick off "SafeLA."
我知道你们当中的一些独♥立♥思考者不...
Now, I know a bunch of you independent thinkers wouldn't--
不愿意戴口罩
Wouldn't even wear masks.
但头盔呢 操作很简单的
But what about helmets? It's simple.
下载我们的头盔免费分享软件 「安全洛杉矶」
Download our free helmet sharing app, "SafeLA."
利用里面的地图找到周围的头盔
Use the map feature to locate a helmet.
接下来请输入独特的14位数的密♥码♥
Now you're ready to enter the unique 14-digit code
开启头盔的安全防护层
that releases the helmet's security cover.
接下来在20秒内...你们是在开玩笑吗
You then have 20 seconds to--are you kidding me?
就不能直接把头盔放在一个箱子里或什么的吗
Couldn't we just put them in a bin or something?
-我不知道 -好吧
- I don't know. - Okay, all right.
总之 安全洛城 让洛杉矶更安全
Anyway, "SafeLA, keeping LA safe."
市长先生 我们能拍一张你骑踏板车的照片吗
Mr. Mayor, can we get a picture on the scooter?
我今天的的发型太完美 不想破坏
You know what? I'm having too good a hair day.
我让我的传媒部部长
I'm going to have my comms director
杰登·夸比斯来代替我
Jayden Kwapis model it for me.
这一球扔得可真好 先生
What a throw, sir!
行了 明天还有更多呢
Yeah, well, there'll be plenty more of that tomorrow
-就在道奇球馆 -你是指投球吗
- at Dodger Stadium. - You mean throwing?
当然啦 那是专业棒球队的比赛
Yeah, it's a professional baseball game.
那就是他们的职业啊
It's what they do.
不 是我会来投球
No, there'll be plenty more of me throwing.
我明天会去投第一个球
I'm throwing out the first pitch tomorrow.
一定会超级棒的 棒球队甚至会想签下他
And it'll be so good, he's gonna get hired.
然后他将成为第一位市长棒球队员
And then he'll be the first mayor baseball man!
发射啦
Blastoff!
我不知道要怎么刹车
I don't know how to do brakes!
记住我 我留下的遗产就是我的善良
Remember me! My legacy is my kindness!
你好啊 早上好
Hello, good morning.
我需要重新拍一张证件照
I need a new ID photo, please.
抱歉 不能重拍 下一位
Sorry, no retakes. Next!
我爱规矩 无规矩就会导致混乱
I love rules. No rules is chaos.
这就是我讨厌内陆牛排屋的原因
That's why I hate Outback Steakhouse.
但这事很紧急
But this is an emergency.
有6.1万人为洛杉矶市工作
61,000 people work for the city of Los Angeles.
其中大多数人都讨厌自己的证件照
Most of them hate their ID photo.
如果我允许你重拍 就会开启水闸
If I let you retake yours, the floodgates open,
整个体系将会不堪重负 城市将会陷入停滞
the system's overwhelmed, the city grinds to a halt,
我就得工作到6点才能下班
and I'd have to work till 6:00.
听着 我明白
Look, I get it.
丹妮奥拉 这名字真美
Daniela. Beautiful name.
是取自摆放在杂货店收银台旁的
Does it come from a romance novel
浪漫爱情小说吗
by the register at a grocery store?
请看指示牌 先生
Read the sign, sir.
「和玫瑰红葡萄酒说去」 什么意思
"Talk to the rosé"? What does that even mean?
「不能重拍 别问了」
"No retakes. Stop asking."
下一位
Next!
杰登·夸比斯 如果我听起来有点喘
Jayden Kwapis, if I sound out of breath
是因为我有个跑步机办公桌
it's because I have a treadmill desk.
你好 我是艾米莉·拜亚塔
Hi, this is Emily Biyata.
我在道奇队主场
I'm calling from the Dodgers
致电是想协调市长来参观的行程
to coordinate the Mayor's visit.
太好了 那休息室
Oh, great! So for the green room,
该准备什么食物拼盘呢
what are we thinking platter-wise?
虾和火腿吗 还是别的
Shrimp and ham, or?
听着 杰登
Look, Jayden.
我是做公♥关♥的 所以我上网搜过你
I'm in PR so, obviously, I Googled you.
没错 我就是垃圾处理马尾男
Yes, I'm garbage disposal ponytail guy.
那又怎样 我们都翻篇了
So what, okay? We've all moved on.
不 我是指滑板车的活动 你戴头盔很帅
No, I mean the scooter event. You look good in a bike helmet.
洛杉矶时报
我 很帅
Me? Good?
抱歉 我狂笑是因为有人在挠我痒
Sorry, I'm laughing because someone is tickling me.
爸爸 别挠了 我可是你儿子啊
Dad, stop it! I'm your son!
希望你能来现场看比赛
I hope you're coming to the game.
我很想见见你本人
I'd love to meet you in person.
我也希望
I'd... like that.
抱歉 我爸正在勒我
Sorry, excuse me. My dad's strangling me now.
爸 这里是工作场所
Dad, this is a workplace!
你得帮我弄个新证件
Hey, you need to get me a new ID.
因为奈斯特吗