市长先生（2021）

要不要待会再一起
You wanna meet up in a little bit,
吃点晚饭
maybe get some dinner
参加「伯德小姐」远足什么的
and take the "Lady Bird" walking tour?
讲述校园情感纠葛
只要不像同名电影那么恐怖就行了
As long as it's not as scary as the movie.
你肯定不会相信的 今天早上
You're not gonna believe it, but just this morning,
我和这名女士几乎可以算是素不相识
that lady and I barely knew each other.
但现在 我都知道她人生中最大的遗憾
But now I know that her biggest regret in life
是在「挑战者号♥」爆♥炸♥时
is that she accidentally clapped
她不相信拍了一下手
when the "Challenger" Exploded.
这一切都归功于我下载的破冰软件
And it's all because of these icebreakers I downloaded.
你从哪里下载的
Where'd you get 'em?
我一直都在寻找假扮正常人的办法
I'm always looking for new ways to seem normal.
我搜索「破冰」
I just searched "Icebreakers,"
就发现了78问题网
and I found 78Questions.Com.
「你想陷入爱河
"The 78 questions you ask someone
就问ta这78个问题」
when you want to fall in love."
不
Oh, no.
天啊
Oh, boy.
准备好出发了吗
Hey, hey! You ready to hit the Sac'?
好了 我们得聊聊
Okay. We need to talk.
我知道我们在车里聊得很火热
I know that it got heavy in the car,
但是女士 不要爱上我
but, ma'am, don't fall in love with me.
-什么 -我刚刚发现
- What? - I just found out
那些问题是设计来
that those questions were designed
让人坠入爱河的
to make people fall in love,
当你告诉我你的理想型是90年代的
and when you shared with me that your ideal man
詹姆斯·布洛林时 说实话我有点慌张
was '80s James Brolin, frankly, I got worried.
我们没有坠入爱河 夸比斯先生
We are not in love, Mr. Kwapis.
而你 先生
And you, sir,
可算不上「鬼哭神嚎」里的詹姆斯·布洛林
are no "Amityville Horror" James Brolin.
那严格来说是1979年的片子 随便了
Technically, that's '79, but whatever.
好
Cool.
我只是觉得我们最好还是做
It's just that I think that we are better off
很好的朋友
as really good friends.
我们都不是朋友
We are not even friends.
朋友都有简称
Friends have a shorthand.
朋友会为彼此牺牲
Friends make sacrifices for each other
并且深入互相了解
and have a deep understanding.
我觉得我们现在互相之间
I don't think we're understanding each other
一点都不了解 你觉得呢
at all in this moment, do you?
当然了 我可以吃点东西
I mean, sure, I could eat.
先生 我们打入了
Sir, we're in.
奥丽接受了艾玛的申请
Orly accepted Emma's request.
你有什么发现 电子烟
What are you finding? Vapes?
还是纹身
Tattoos?
基本都是些自♥拍♥
It's actually mostly just selfies.
我要找的是那种高危俚语
What I'm looking for is red-flag slang in the captions.
「上」的意思是胡搞
So "Smash" Means hooking up.
「嗜血」的意思是嗑感冒糖浆
"Dexing" Is abusing cough syrup.
「GOW」的意思是周末有基
"GOW" Is "Gay on the weekends."
7个8连在一起是人体蜈蚣
Seven 8s in a row is a human centipede.
不 硼是什么 是什么毒品吗
No, what--what's boron? Is that a drug?
她说她终于结束了这硼噩梦
She says she's finally done with this boron nightmare.
我觉得她只是在吹嘘
I think she's just bragging about finishing
提早完成了她的化学项目
her chemistry project early.
-「TFW」是什么 -「就像那时」
- What's "TFW"? - "That feeling when."
就像那时你♥爸♥爸第一百多万次拉你去
That feeling when your dad drags you to Huntington Gardens
亨廷顿花♥园♥
for the millionth time.
但这张照片为什么是一个比中指的树獺
But why is it a picture of a sloth giving the middle finger?
她明明很喜欢我带她去的
She loves it when I take her there.
市长先生 我很遗憾你的工匠去世了 但...
Mr. Mayor, I'm sorry about your handyman, but--
等等
Wait.
我进来时 你为什么马上合上了你的手提
Why did you slam your laptop shut when I came in?
怎么了 我们在学习
What? We're studying.
你们在上图享吗
Are you on Instagram?
汤米觉得安全起见
Tommy felt it was important to access
很有必要接触到奥丽的私人账号♥
Orly's private account for security reasons.
所以我们现在是马尔伯勒的初中生 艾玛
So we are Emma, a junior at Marlborough.
我们是管弦乐队的 很自信但是不自满
We do orchestra. We're confident but not cocky.
你帮助市长创了一个假账号♥
You helped the mayor create a fake account
假扮成一个未成年少女吗
impersonating a teenage girl?
这资料照片是哪里来的
Where did you get this profile picture?
我们搜了「可爱金发高中曲棍球女郎」
We Googled "Cute high school field hockey blonde."
用政♥府♥服务器吗
From government servers?
你这么说出来是有点奇怪...
Well, when you say it like that...
你知道「蹲举」是什么意思吗
Also, do you know what "Squat" Means now?
因为他们说橘子味水很蹲举
Because tangerine seltzer squats,
但还说HPV很蹲举
but also somehow, HPV squats.
听着 这都是我的错
Look, this is all my fault.
奥丽很生气
Orly's just acting out
是因为我身为市长 扰乱了她原有的人生
because I uprooted her life with this mayor thing.
我废寝忘食地工作
I'm working crazy hours.
我逼她搬到一个
I forced her to move into an old house
糖鱼送货区外的老房♥子里
that's outside SUGARFISH's delivery zone.
我只是需要在她的层面上和她...重新熟络
I just need to reconnect... on her level.
艾玛教会了我该怎么做
And Emma showed me how to do that.
我要回家 今晚和她共进晚餐
I am going to go home and have dinner with her tonight.
我待会儿回来
I'll be back later.
今天干得真不错 汤米
Great work today, Tommy.
检测机构的决策备忘录整理得怎么样了
How's that decision memo on SROs coming?
我不想回去做汤米
I don't wanna go back to being Tommy.
艾玛就算明天要上课
Emma gets to go to a Glossier pop-up tonight
今晚还能去参加光彩误会
even though there's school tomorrow.
怎么样啊 姐们儿
So what's Gucci, fam?
有什么想吐槽的女孩烦恼
Any VSCO girls stress you about cheddar?
什么 没有
What? No.
完美
Perf.
爸爸 别说「完美」
Dad, don't say "Perf."
卧♥槽♥了 这墨西哥卷的口感啊
TFW. That feeling when these tacos squat.
爱吗
You up?
爸爸 你没事吧
Dad, are you okay?
你的中间名叫什么
What's your middle name?
你觉得今年是几几年
What year do you think this is?
我超级好
I'm mad fine.
那意思是你很帅
That just means you're handsome.
我是很帅
Well, I am handsome.
-你在给谁发信息 -没谁
- Who you texting? - No one.
听着 小婊贝
Look, salt bae,
我知道我最近陪你的时间没有以前那么多
I know I haven't been around as much as you're used to.
#市长人生
#MayorLife.
但你有任何事都能告诉我的
But you can always tell me anything.
我知道
I know.
我只是不希望我们失去情感联络
I just don't want us to lose our connection.
我们不是基础版 我们没有秘密协议
We're not basic. We don't have secrets IRL.
难道还有比我们更默契的组合吗
You know, name a more iconic duo.
-我等你想 -爸爸 别这么说话了
- I'll wait. - Okay, Dad, stop talking like that.
好吧
Okay.
想待会儿一起看电视吗
Wanna watch TV together later?
10点「蛋糕店老板」加爽一爽
"Cake Boss" And chill at 10:00?
「爽一爽」的意思是做♥爱♥
"And chill" Means sex.
呕 以及今晚我没空
Ew. And I can't tonight.
塞维奇要来一起完成我们的化学课项目
Ceviche's coming over to finish our chemistry project.
我们要用硼元素做一个纸面模型
We're making a papier-mâché of the element boron,
所以要花上好久
so it's gonna take forever.
好吧
Okay.
她骗我
She lied to me.
我的宝贝骗我
My baby lied to me.
我们都知道她其实已经完成了那个项目
We know she already finished that science project.
米凯拉在哪里
Where's Mikaela?
有人看到我的幕僚长了吗