市长先生（2021）

你好 米凯拉
Yeah. Hey, Mikaela.
抱歉 不 我到了
Sorry. No, I'm here.
就是今早遇到了点麻烦
I'm just having a bit of a rough start to the day.
我泡澡时我家猫吐在里面了
Yeah, no, my cat threw up in the bathtub while I was in it.
等一下
Hold on.
不是吧
Come on.
什么
What?
好 我马上来
Okay, I'm coming!
马上就来
I'm coming!
今天是美食车日
It's food truck day.
今天是美食车日
It's food truck day!
市长先生
第一季 第六集
这些抽屉里有好多旧垃圾
There's so much old junk in these drawers.
看这张五零年代市议会的悲催照片
Look at this sad photo of city council from the '50s.
没人看起来像我们一样
No one looks like us.
我说不好
Oh, I don't know.
左边数起第二个男的有点像你
That guy second from the left kinda looks like you,
不过他没有你这双
but he doesn't have the leg meat
几乎能把这条裤子穿得好看的美♥腿♥
to almost pull off these pants.
谢谢夸奖 这是快时尚品牌的一次性裤子
Thank you. They're H&M single-use.
今天是美食车日
It's food truck day!
什么 他在说什么
What? What is he saying?
美食 车 日
Food...truck...day.
这是一个月里最美好的一天
It's the most best day of the month.
各地的美食车都会开来停在外面
Food trucks come from all over and they park outside
售卖♥♥越南三明治 波奇饭
and there's gonna be banh mi and poke bowls
还有 手指交叉祈祷...
and, fingers crossed...
我没时间指出你的手指有多奇怪
Okay, I don't have time to address how weird your fingers are.
馅饼
Empanada Acoso.
他们大老远从河滨市开来
They drive in all the way from Riverside,
他们的馅饼就像柔软香辣的尿布一样
and their empanadas are like soft, spicy full diapers
包裹住你的舌头
for your tongue.
天啊 我们终于能吃上一次正经午餐了吗
Oh, my God, could we actually get decent lunch food for once?
培训结束后我们就下去
We'll go down right after training.
什么结束后
After what?
今天是我们强制性的
Today's our mandatory
「职场尊重」培训课
"respect in the workplace" training session.
不要啊
Oh, no!
那种课要上好久
Oh, those things take forever!
得考试通过了才能走
Oh, and then you can't leave until you pass a test,
到那时 美食车的美食都卖♥♥光了
and by then, all the food trucks are out of food,
就只剩下卡车而已
so they're just trucks again!
我是很喜欢卡车啦 不过...
I mean, I love trucks, but--
老天 今天的心情就像坐「小黄人」过山车一样
Oh, God, today is an emotional Minions ride.
-很快就会结束的 -是啊 我们很年轻 都很懂
- Dude, it'll be fast. - Yeah, we're young. We get it.
没错 我们看个视频 不问问题
Yeah, we watch a video, ask no questions,
做个测验 就搞定了
take a quiz, we're done.
然后我们就去狂吞馅饼
And then we empanada. Hard.
好
Yeah.
-我可以帮你拿 -谢谢
- I can help you with that. - Thank you.
-如果你不介意 -当然不介意
- If that's okay. - Yes, of course.
女性也很强大
Women are strong too.
像公牛一样壮
Strong like bull.
是母牛 女性是母牛 而不是...
Cows. Women are cows, not--
-没事 谢谢 -嗯
- It's fine. Thank you. - Yeah.
阿比·麦斯科曼 副市长
Arpi Meskimen, deputy mayor.
你好 我是苏珊 这场讨论由我主持
Hi. I'm Susan. I'm the discussion leader.
苏珊 早在八零年代
You know, Susan, I piloted this program
我就带领过这个项目 那时市政厅不给女性座椅
back in the '80s when city hall didn't even give women chairs.
我们只能坐在男人♥大♥腿上
We were just offered laps to sit on.
所以不用谢[受欢迎] 米凯拉
So you're welcome, Mikaela.
我是很受欢迎 我知道
I am welcome. I know.
是啊
Yeah.
我还带着当年保护我
I still carry the pepper spray I used
去复印时不遇袭的防狼喷雾
to go safely back and forth to the copier.
你的项目为我们的工作打下了良好基础
Well, your program has been a great base for us to work off of.
-非常感谢你的... -不用谢我
- Thank you so much for-- - No need to thank me.
你会做得很棒的
You're gonna do great.
相信材料就行
Trust the material.
馅饼餐车刚停好了
Empanada Acoso just pulled up.
顺便说一下 车开在减速带上
And by the way the truck is riding on the shocks,
他们应该有卖♥♥猪肉
I think they have pork.
好极了
Great.
如果人都齐了 我们可以...
So if we're all here, we can--
抱歉 抱歉
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
我刚才在男童厕所
I was in the little boys' room,
在那里把鸡鸡掏出来也没问题哦
where it is okay to take out your penis.
你好 我是市长
Hi. I'm the mayor.
我是苏珊·克劳 我没料到您会来
Hi. Susan Craw. I didn't expect you to be here.
大人物通常不会出席这种活动
Usually the big shots don't show up to these things.
是啊 先生 我本来打算用模仿签名的自动笔
Yeah, sir, I was just gonna use the autopen
帮您签到的
to sign you in.
你开玩笑吗 不
Are you kidding? No, no.
这种事很重要 非常重要
This is important stuff, very important.
我有个女儿 为了她我希望把这事做好
I have a daughter, and I wanna get this right for her sake.
没错 对
Right. Right. Yes.
好 通常一开始我会放一个视频
Okay, so I usually begin by showing a video
职场尊重
内容是一般职场情景
of a common workplace scenario.
视频
A video? Huh.
这么说你不再使用我的插图了
So you don't use my illustrations anymore?
不用了 好了
No, we do not. Okay.
你好 米歇尔 怎么了
Oh, hi, Michelle. What's wrong?
有人在休息室挂了一幅漫画
Someone hung a cartoon in the break room
让我很生气 卡罗斯
that upset me, Carlos.
关于亚洲人很擅长数学的那个吗
The one about Asians being good at math?
去告诉你的指导老师吧
Tell your supervisor.
我可不想当个不合群的告密者
I don't wanna be a squeaky wheel.
短片里的渣演技倒让我有种被骚扰的不适感
I feel harassed by the acting in these.
这到底是关于什么事的
What kind of business is this supposed to be?
整个文件分类体系完全没道理啊
The filing system makes zero sense.
芭芭拉
Hey, Barbara,
冈瑟给你发了他最新的健身照吗
did Gunther email you his latest bodybuilding photos?
是啊 又发了
Yes. Again.
那些照片让我很不舒服
Those photos make me uncomfortable.
我早就叫他别再给我发了
I asked him not to send them to me anymore.
我父母就是这么认识的啊
That's how my parents met.
我还叫他别再给我挠背了
And I asked him to stop giving me backrubs.
不是吧
Oh, no!
我刚收到一封邮件
I just got an email
说冈瑟把你调出阳光海岸那个客户项目了
that Gunther is taking you off the Suncoast account.
那可是我最大的客户啊
That's my biggest account!
苏珊 苏珊 你能暂停下吗
Susan, Susan, could you pause it for a second?
我已经有太多问题想问了
I've already got so many questions.
好了 挠背当然是很不合适的
Okay, now, of course, backrubs are inappropriate,
但侧边拥抱呢
but what about side hugs?
那是可以的吧
Those are okay, right,
因为这样抱你们的私密部位是平行的
because your privates are parallel.
我相信你一定很擅长拥抱
I'm sure you're a great hugger,
但最好还是别拥抱任何人了吧
but it's probably best not to hug anyone.
我能抚摸一个白人男的头发吗
Could I ask to touch a white man's hair?
就 还是别了
Just--just don't.
因为他可能是同性恋吗 好吧 明白了
'Cause what if he's gay? Yeah. Shoot. Of course.
我的意思是
My point being
如果仔细想想 总是有例外情况的
there's always an exception if you think about it.
闭嘴 闭嘴 闭嘴
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
-闭嘴 -没错 是有例外情况的
- Shut up. - Yes, I guess that would be an exception,
但我觉得是不会有人叫你
but I don't think anyone is going to ask you
帮他们喂母乳的
to "Help them breastfeed."
那么 还有人有问题要问吗
So does anybody else have any questions?
抱歉 我有