怪兽上班（2021）

听懂我刚才说的没
You see what I did there?
我的第一个笑话
My first joke. Wow.
沃佐斯基先生 这课真的有用
Mr. W, the class really works.
别辞掉你的正职
Don't quit your day job.
今天我们将聊聊喜剧的十大规则 准备好了吗
Today we'll be chatting about my Ten Rules of Comedy. Ready?
开始吧
Here we go.
"双关语不是指真的要用双拳关照某人"
"Punch line does not mean actually punching somebody."
双关语不是指真的要用双拳关照某人
我在怪兽大学参加过"喜剧怪兽"提高小组
I joined the improve group at MU, Monsters of Comedy.
-你也参加过吧 -没有
- You were in it, right? - Nope.
我还记得有个环节 叫"是的 还有"
I remember they did this thing, called "Yes, and..."
你必须一直说"是的 还有"
where you always have to say, "Yes, and..."
他们那时找我要五十块钱
Like the time they asked I gave them 50 bucks
我说"是的 还有"
and I said, "Yes, and..."
"一百块" "是的 还有"
"Hundred bucks?" "Yes, and..."
"两百块" "是的 还有"
"Two hundred bucks?" "Yes, and..."
-那堂课非常贵 -我就讲这么多
- It was a very expensive class. - That's it for me.
比我想的要快得多
Got through that much quicker than I thought it would.
现在弗林特小姐要分享一些喜剧资料
Now here's Ms. Flint to share some comedy data.
回搞笑层去了
Back to the Laugh Floor.
"喜剧理论不是儿戏"
"Comedy theory. It's no laughing matter."
喜剧理论不是儿戏
讽刺
暗喻
明喻
曲解
又断电了吗
Another power outage?
别担心 小甜甜
Don't you worry, schmoopsie-poo.
你的喜剧能量球回来了
Your power ball of comedy is back.
时机刚刚好 方格斯
Perfect timing, Fungus.
先生 这些都断电了 我认为进去不安全
Sir, with these power outages, I don't think it's safe to go in.
别挡着我
Out of my way.
我的能量饮料作用还剩35小时45分钟
I still got 35 and three-quarter hours left on my energy drink.
-我觉得你不该进去 -我进去啦
- I don't think you should go in! - I'm going in!
重启 重启 重启
Reset, reset, reset!
没有用
Oh, that's not working.
我们遇到了一个13-20 一个13-20
We've got a 13-20. A 13-20!
大眼熊被困住了
Googly bear's trapped!
喜剧不仅仅是笑
Comedy is not just about laughter.
也与规则 类别 缩写词有关
It's also about rules, categories, and acronyms.
有任何问题吗
Any questions?
很有趣的观点
Interesting insight.
请注意 我们遇到了13-20
Attention, please. We have a 13-20.
我需要怪兽设团去搞笑层F站5号♥台报到
I need MIFT to report to Laugh Floor F-station-five.
13-20 一名怪兽被困
13-20. A monster is trapped.
-邓肯 拿上切割机 -明白
- Duncan, grab Cutter. - Got it.
-瓦尔 迅速行动 -迅速行动
- Val, gear up! - Gearing up.
泰勒 你和我们一起 快点
Tylor, you're with us. Come on!
我吗 我真的没什么可以
Me? Yeah, there's nothing really I can...
泰勒 你和我们一起 快点
Tylor, you are with us. Come on!
你叫香蕉面包吗
Actually, Banana Bread, is it?
你能留下一会吗
Could you stay behind for a moment?
-谁被困了 -是麦克
- Who's trapped? - It's Mike!
快点 我们走
Come on, let's go.
我们需要给这个控制面板通电
We need to get power to this control panel.
-瓦尔 发电机 -当心 过来了
- Val, generator. - Look out! Coming through!
-邓肯 我们需要电缆 马上 -是 长官
- Duncan we need cable, stat. - Yes, sir.
-卡特 旁路控制 -没问题
- Cutter, bypass control. - You got it.
我们有电了
We got power!
恢复运转
Back in business!
我花了一生试着把脚迈进门里
I spent my whole life trying to get my foot in the door.
然后我无法让它
Then I couldn't even get it...
麦克
Mike!
控制面板被烧了 卡特 打开检修站
The control panel's fried. Cutter, open the pit.
早就想到了 准备打开 三二一
Way ahead of you! Open in three, two, one.
-邓肯 下去盯着 -好
- Duncan. Eyes down below. - Yep!
备用系统短路了
Backup system's shorted out.
别担心 大眼熊 我们马上把你救下来
Don't worry, googly bear, we're getting you down.
切换到手动超控
Switch to manual override.
小甜甜
Schmoopsie-poo!
-麦克 -大眼熊
- Oh. Mike... - Googly bear...
邓肯 把输送轨道调成反向
Duncan, reverse the conveyor track.
反向 遵命
Reverse! Yes, sir.
正向 反向
生锈卡住了
It's rusted in place!
我拧不动
I can't turn it.
邓肯的小手臂太瘦弱了 不够力气
Duncan's arms are way too scrawny and far too weak.
-我听见了哦 -瓦尔你来
- I heard that. - Val?
抱歉 我的暴龙小短手也不够长
Sorry, these puppies aren't long enough.
糟了
Oh, dear.
我怎么没想到 泰勒
Of course. Tylor.
我吗 不行的
Me? No, no, no.
把手伸进去 猛♥男♥ 扳动那螺母
Get in there, champ, and wrench that nut.
上啊 大只佬 扳动那螺母
Come on, big guy. Wrench the nut.
扳动那螺母
Wrench the nut!
扳动那螺母
Wrench the nut.
-扳动那螺母 -扳动那螺母
- Wrench the nut. - Wrench the nut.
扳动那螺母
Wrench the nut.
扳动那螺母
Wrench the nut.
扳动那螺母
Wrench the nut.
扳动那螺母
Wrench the nut.
泰勒
正向
预备 接
Ready. Now!
又一罐笑声
Another Laugh Canister...
装满了
...filled.
他只花了两小时
Only took him two hours
就把36.5小时的能量消耗殆尽了
to burn through all thirty-six-and-a-half hours of energy.
让他睡吧
Oh, let's just let him sleep.
怪兽设团好样的 谢谢你 泰勒
Great job, MIFT. And thank you, Tylor.
没有啦 是团队合作的结果 真的
No, no. It was a team effort, really. Really.
没有你 他们是做不到的
Well, they couldn't have done it without you.
你成功了 你狠狠扳动了那螺母
You did it! You wrenched the heck out of that nut.
你完成了在怪兽设团的第一个任务
You finished your first job as a MIFTer.
-没错 -必须庆祝一番
- Yeah! - This calls for a celebration!
-第一轮清凉爽口饮我请客 -好棒
- First round of Drooler Coolers on me! - Oh, yeah.
给
There you go.
这样吧 第二轮买♥♥单的人是...香蕉面包
You know what, guys? The second round's on... Banana Bread?
蕉包 快来和你的小伙伴们一起庆祝
Hey, Double B. Come celebrate with your buddily bud-buds.
恐怕没时间庆祝了
I'm afraid there won't be time for that.
搞笑层需要温彻斯特过去
Winchester here is needed on the Laugh Floor.
你叫温彻斯特吗
Whoa. Your name is Winchester?
等等 什么 搞笑层
Wait. What? Laugh Floor?
温彻斯特对喜剧理论的细致见解引起了我的兴趣
I was intrigued by Winchester's nuanced insight on comic theory.
所以凭着那直觉 我做了些测试
So, on that hunch, I ran some tests
结果发现他非常幽默
and, well, turns out, he's hilarious.
别闹了
Stop! Stop.
真的啦 留着去逗乐孩子吧
Seriously, save it for the kids.
我笑到肚子都疼了
Oh. My stomach hurts from laughing.
做得好 香蕉面包
Way to go, Banana Bread.
是啊 我的免费点心没望了
Yep. There goes my free baked goods.
你以为自己很了解一个人 除了他的真名
You think you know a guy, other than, of course, his real name.
但看来对某些人来说 怪兽设团
But I guess for some people... MIFT
就是不够特别
just isn't special enough.
但现在 我们有泰勒了
But now, we've got Tylor.
*熟手男工挥扳手 欢迎来到新工位*
*Swift with the wrench I welcome you to your new desk*
是临时新工位 只是临时 没打算久留
Temporary new desk. Just temporary. Not planning on staying.
老好人泰塔
Good ol' Double T.
那彩罐我还留着
I still have the pinata!
砸彩罐啦
Pinata time!
老娘来砸
Ooh. I'll take that action.
我想先砸头部 先生 如果可以的话
I'd like to bash the head first, sir, if I may.
砸彩罐啦
Pinata time!
砸彩罐啦
Pinata time!
确实奇葩