怪兽上班（2021）

声明一下 我从没说过这句话
For the record, I've never actually said that.
欢迎来到怪兽设团大家庭
Oh, welcome to the MIFT family.
谢谢 但我其实并不属于你们大家庭
Uh, thanks, but I'm not really family.
我可以充当你的父亲角色
I could be to you like a father figure.
我父亲已经就是父亲角色了
My father's sort of a father figure.
-爷爷呢 -我爸爸的爸爸就是
- Grandfather figure? - That's my father's father.
那和你的亲姑姑离了婚
How about an uncle-who's-divorced from-your-biological-aunt
但人很不错 所以一直保持联♥系♥
but-was-really-cool-so-he-keeps-in-touch
有时侯会突然出现在你身边的姑父角色呢
and-sometimes-he-just-shows-up out-of-the-blue figure?
好啊 可你没我的电♥话♥号♥码
Sure? You don't have my phone number.
我可以去你的员工档案里找
I can get it out of your employee file.
喝掉
Drink this.
谢谢
Uh, oh, thanks.
再喝这个
Now drink this.
-怎么样 -都很难喝
- Well? - They're both disgusting.
瞧见没 我说了
See? I told ya.
你是分不出
You can't tell the difference
旧润滑剂和新合成剂的区别的
between the old lubricant and the new synthetic.
为什么这么对我
Why?
你最好多喝点水 守着点厕所
You might wanna drink plenty water, stay close to a bathroom.
那位是卡特 这位是香蕉面包
That was Cutter. And this is Banana Bread.
没人知道他的真名
No one knows his real name.
但他每天早上都会带香蕉蛋糕来
But he brings banana bread in every morning.
超好吃
Yummy scrumbos.
你是叫泰勒吧
Hey, there. Tylor, was it?
-是的 -很高兴认识你 泰勒
- Yeah. - Hey. Nice to meet you, Tylor.
我能跟你聊两句吗
Yeah, so, hey, could I just borrow you for a sec?
我想说几个事
Couple of things I wanna mention.
-私下说 -好 没问题
- In private. - Sure. Yeah.
我懂你
Look, I get it.
大家的第一印象是不是都有点神经兮兮的
First impressions, everybody seems a little bit crazy, right?
这下面整天看不见阳光
Down here where there's no daylight
机器重复的嘈杂声
and the repetitive din of machinery
永远都在砸向你的脑仁
is forever hammering into your brain.
但怪兽设团的人都是好意的
But look, the MIFT team, they mean well, all right?
你会和他们熟起来的 我发誓
You're gonna warm up to 'em, I promise.
-我只是真的不属于 -不属于这里 我懂
- I don't belong here. - ...belong here. Yeah.
-太对了 -我们俩的看法一样[对视]- Exactly! - You and me, we see eye to eyes.
总算见到一个懂我的人的感觉真好
It's nice to finally meet somebody who gets it.
不好意思 我还不知道你叫什么
I'm sorry, I didn't get your name.
-抱歉 我叫邓肯 -嗨 邓肯
- Oh! Hey, sorry. The name's Duncan. - Hi, Duncan.
但这里的人都叫我"副主管"
But people around here refer to me as "Deputy Supervisor."
知道为什么吗 因为等弗利兹退休或者死了
You know why? Because when Fritz retires or dies,
我就会接替他的职位
I'm takin' his job.
你这个大学少男的计划就别想了
You can forget your little "College boy" Plan...
-等等 什么 -妄想大摇大摆走进来
- Wait, what? - ...of waltzing in here
夺走应当属于我的东西 明白吗
and taking what's rightfully mine, you understand?
-我没有... -我看穿了你的计谋
- There's no... - I'm onto your scheme.
我对弗利兹的工作没有半点兴趣
I have no interest at all in Fritz's job.
你想耍这一套把戏是吧
So that's how you wanna play the game?
不不不 真的 我没耍把戏
No, no no no. Honestly, no games.
-我没耍把戏 -我只是在你成为国王路上的
- I'm not playing a game. - I'm just a pawn in the way
一枚小卒
of you becoming king.
一枚被弹飞出棋盘的无名小卒 乒
A little itty-bitty pawn that's knocked off the board. Ping!
什么 没有卒 没有乒 没人被乒
What? No, no pawn. There's no ping! Nothing's pinging.
我盯上你了
I'm onto you.
我盯上你了
I'm onto you.
-好吧 没别的事我就先走... -盯上你
- Okay. So if there's nothing else, I'm gonna... - Onto you.
你
You.
欢迎大卫
好吧 我认输 谁是大卫
Okay, I give up. Who's "David"?
你呀 我没时间做个新的标语
You are! I didn't have enough time to make a new sign.
大卫啊
Oh, David.
大卫的角卡在了门轨道上
David got his horn caught in the door track,
被卷入了碎门机 之后再也没见过他
was pulled into a shredder shaft, never saw him again.
不过我找到了几根毛
I did find some hair.
我们把毛放在了纪念蜡烛旁的罐子
We keep it in a jar next to the memory candle.
老好人♥大♥卫 我想你 兄弟
Good ol' Davey. I miss you, buddy.
我想你
I miss ya.
我对他来说也像叔叔一样
I was his uncle figure, too.
知道吗 我无以言表
Hey, you know, I can't find the words to tell you all
自己有多感激能成为
how much I appreciate being a part of this whole
你们怪兽设团邪教组织的一部分
MIFT cult-thing you've got going on here.
事实上 你们可以都留在这
In fact, you guys all just stay here.
别跟着我 我去拿感谢甜甜圈
Don't follow me. I'll go get the appreciation donuts.
我们吓人 因为我们关心
怪兽公♥司♥诚挚邀请您担任惊吓专员
请于周一早上九点到弗林特女士处报道 接收惊吓任务
-扔得漂亮 -闭嘴 斯密提
- Nice shot. - Shut up, Smitty.
你看不出他想一个人待着吗 他抑郁了
Can't you see he wants to be alone? He's depressed.
他为什么抑郁
Why's he depressed?
如果你像他一样是个吓人的怪兽 你要怎么办
If you're a scary monster like him, now what do you do?
除非你能让小孩笑 否则没有前途
Unless you can make a kid laugh, you got no future.
-那确实抑郁 -闭嘴 他还能听见
- That's depressing. - Shut up! He can still hear you.
你才闭嘴
You shut up!
"让小孩笑"
"Make a kid laugh..."
仅限员工进入
中♥央♥区还剩两小时
Two hours remaining in the Central Zone.
还剩两小时
Two hours remaining.
你好啊 方格斯
Heya, Fungus.
谢谢你留下了我 沃佐斯基先生
Thanks for keepin' me on, Mr. Wazowski.
别客气 但你错过了坐我的车来上班
No problem. But you missed out on a ride in my car.
是弗林特女士派你来的吗
Did Ms. Flint send you?
这个 我今天早些时候确实见过她 所以
Oh, uh, well, I did see her earlier today, so...
完美 如果弗林特女士批准了 那就赶紧过来
Perfect! If you're Ms. Flint approved, then get in here.
我立即给他安排一扇门 方格斯
I'll get him a door, pronto. Fungus?
赶紧 时间很搞笑 等等
Come on, time is funny. Wait a second!
这可以成为新口号♥吗
Could that be the new slogan?
接着想 麦克 接着想
Keep trying, Mikey. Keep trying.
门开启
Door is active.
只要让小孩笑
Just make the kid laugh.
应该不难
Shouldn't be too hard.
你好啊 小家伙
Hey there, little guy.
你准备好笑了吗
Uh, you ready to laugh?
不 不不不
No! No, no, no...
我觉得有人撬了我的车
I think there is somebody is breaking into my car!
你去哪了
Where'd you go?
-真的假的 -不 不不
- Seriously? - No! No, no, no.
过来
Hey, come here!
这个如何
Hey, how about this one?
"吾之搞笑 汝之电力"
"Our jokeage gives you voltage!"
-你觉得如何 -我觉得...不行
- What do ya think? - I'm thinking... No.
"我们公♥司♥给你安心相伴"
"You're in good company with our company"?
-不 -小心
- No! - Watch out!
逃 赶紧离开
Run! Get out of the way!
小心
Watch out!
有小孩 有小孩
A kid! A kid!
不 不不
No! No, no, no.
不 等等 等等
No, no, wait! Wait!
小家伙 小男孩
Little kid, little boy!
抓到你了
Gotcha.
*树顶摇摇 沉睡宝宝*
* Rock-a-bye baby in the tree tops *
*微风拂过 鼻涕满满*
*When the wind blows Your nose fills with snot*
真抱歉
So sorry.
我们要关闭搞笑F层 开启搞笑G层
We're shutting down Laugh Floor F, activating Laugh Floor G.
我需要转移桑德森和普兰姆...
I'll need to transfer Sanderson and Phlegm...
真抱歉 苏利文先生 沃佐斯基先生
I am so sorry, Mr. Sullivan. Mr. Wazowski.
我很感激这个机会 但我彻底搞砸了
I, uh, appreciate the opportunity that I have completely blown.
你们永远不会再见到我了
You'll never see me again.
等等 你是泰勒·塔兹曼 对吧
Hold it! You're Tylor Tuskmon, aren't you?
对 是我 你怎么知道我的
Uh, yes, I am. How did you know?
你觉得是谁推荐让你做这份工作的
Who do you think recommended you for the job?
你是班上第一名
You graduated top of your class.