怪兽上班（2021）

你是一个人来的吗
Did you come alone?
是的
Yes.
密♥码♥是什么
What's the password?
好的 密♥码♥是什么 密♥码♥是什么
Okay. What's the password? What's the password?
好吧 我不知道
Okay. I have no idea.
大写一二三 小写四五六
Capital one, two, three, lowercase four, five, six.
谢谢
Thank you.
一二三四五六
One, two, three, four, five, six!
请进 朋友
Enter, friend.
欢迎来到内德勒曼和斯密提的度假门商店
Welcome to Needleman and Smitty's vacation door emporium.
我超喜欢度假门
I love vacation doors.
没错
That's right.
这里的每扇门
Each of these doors was
都是我们亲手从碎门机前抢救回来的
personally rescued by us from the shredder,
保证能将您送往
and guaranteed to deliver you
与世隔绝 渺无人烟的目的地
to an isolated, human-free destination.
好 拜托 我要等不及了 快告诉我都有什么
Okay. Oh, please. I can't wait. Tell me, what do you got?
谁会不想惬意地坐着游轮
Who wouldn't wanna chill out on a cruise
去游览北极圈内的一艘弃船呢
to an abandoned ship in the Arctic Circle?
这条度假路线听起来很酷
This vacation sounds cool.
闭嘴 我才是推销
Shut up! I give the sales pitch,
你是展示模特
you're the glamour model.
罗马尼亚的特兰西瓦尼亚是吸血鬼的故乡
Transyl-Romania is known for blood-sucking vampires.
但不吸血[差劲]的是
But what doesn't suck are the
这座发霉废弃城♥堡♥中的奢华设施
deluxe amenities of this musty, deserted castle.
你会在这个
You'll have a rotten time
破败的林中小屋里度过一段腐朽时光
in this decaying cabin in the woods.
算了 不太对劲 还有什么选择
Nah, too fishy. What else you got?
在这个危险的加勒比海沙滩度假村享受日光浴
Soak up the sun at this condemned Caribbean beach resort.
沙滩度假 太好了 就它了
Beach vacation! Yes, yes, yes! That's the one!
极好的选择 好兄弟
Excellent choice, my good man.
这个空出来的度假天堂就归你了
This vacated vacation paradise is yours.
慢着
Hold it.
你非常确定
You're so sure that using a door
使用一扇本应该压碎的门
that was supposed to be shredded
没有违反公♥司♥规定吗
isn't against company policy?
我们不提什么"违反公♥司♥规定"
Oh, we don't say "Against company policy."
没错 我们把这叫"合理借贷"
That's right. We say "Debit or credit."
怪兽上班
第一季 第五集
好了 大家伙 都准备好了吗
Okay, everybody, are you ready?
因为是时候来玩...
'Cause it's time to play...
临时主管转盘咯
Wheel of Temporary Supervisor!
今天是我的幸运日 罗托
Today's my lucky day, Roto.
邓肯
副主管
邓肯
临时主管
你能感觉到吗 你有预感吗 没错
Can you feel it? Can you feel it? Yes!
等等 我的名字怎么也在上面
Wait, why is my name on there?
弗利兹每次去度假的时候
When Fritz goes on vacation,
转盘都会选出一位临时主管
the wheel picks a temporary supervisor.
别以为我没看出来你的野心 大学仔
Don't think I don't see the ambition in your eyes, College Boy.
你肯定很想让我听你的使唤
You'd love to have me under your thumb,
用你那临时主管的身份使劲指使我
squishing me with your little temporary supervisor thumb.
什么指 你说什么...
Thumb? What are you...
我跟你说过了 邓肯
I've told you, Duncan.
我对弗利兹的职位没兴趣 好吗
I have no interest in Fritz's job, okay?
-是吗 -我还签了你那离谱的合约
- Uh-huh. - I signed your ridiculous contract.
得了吧 你这种两面派假好人
Right. Like a two-faced charlatan like you
会遵守合约才怪
would honor a contract.
两面派...你在说什么呢
Two-face... What are you talking about?
来 转起来吧 转盘
Come on. Let's go, wheel!
老娘要临时升职
Mama needs a temporary promotion!
很好 很好 很好
Yes, yes, yes!
瓦尔
-过来过来过来 -不要啊
- Come on, come on! - Yes, no, no, no!
-太好了 -还好不是我
- Yes! - Glad it's not me.
恭喜 临时主管瓦尔
Congratulations, Temporary Supervisor Val.
我给我的员工定了好多好玩的活动
Oh, I have so many fun things planned for my employees.
周一正念冥想 周二玉米粉蒸肉
Mindfulness Mondays, Tamale Tuesdays,
周三华夫饼 周五有爱炸薯条
Waffle Wednesdays, Friendly French Fry Fridays.
然后呢 做瑜伽 不了
What next, yoga? Uh-uh.
我和我的日程安排都没那么灵活
Neither me nor my schedule is flexible.
是啊 祝贺瓦尔吧
Yeah, yeah, let's hear it for Val.
我那成为临时主管的
So much for my humble dream
卑微梦想就这样没戏了
of being temporary supervisor.
我还是扔掉我在渺小人生里
I'll just throw away the only thing
唯一渴望的东西吧
I've ever wanted in my insignificant life.
真棒
Ah, great.
我连我的梦想都扔不进去
I can't even throw away my dreams right.
虽然有违我的良好判断
Kinda goes against my better judgment,
但我居然有点可怜他
but I actually feel a little sorry for him.
嗯 是的 妈妈
Yeah. Yeah, Mom, you know
你总对我说"梦想会成真"
how you always told me, "Dreams can come true"?
可我今天发现并不是那样
Yeah, well, uh, I learned today that they can't.
别 别哭 别哭妈妈
No, don't cry. Don't cry, Mom.
我尽我最大的努力了 真的
I tried my best. I did. I did.
我替你哭
I'll cry for the both of us.
-弗利兹 -怎么了
- Uh, Fritz? - Huh?
好像我弄错了
Looks like I made an oopsie.
临时主管是邓肯
The temporary supervisor is Duncan.
我 真是我
Me? Moi?
命运已经做出了选择
The fates have chosen.
弗利兹先生
Well, uh, Mr. Fritz, sir,
我当然无法匹敌
there's of course no way I can match
您扎实的管理技能 诸如此类的
your robust managerial skills, blah-blah-blah,
但我会尽力让您骄傲 先生
but I will do my best to make you proud, sir,
主管我们团队
and, uh, supervise the team.
*我挥手告别*
*So I'm waving goodbye*
*在我离开期间*
*And while I'm gone*
我希望你们都能和睦相处
I expect you all to maintain the get-along,
怪兽设团精神
MIFTer spirit.
我的中间名就是和睦相处 先生
Get Along's my middle name, sir.
邓肯·P·和睦相处·安德森
Duncan P. "Get Along" Anderson.
你快去给自己来一杯诡异鸡尾酒
Now, you go get yourself a creepy colada
创造美妙回忆吧
and make some memories!
*足间裹着沙砾*
*I'm getting sand in my toes*
-玩得开心 -旅途愉快
- Have a great time. - Enjoy.
*两周后再会*
*And I'll see ya in two weeks*
一路顺风
Bon voyage-e!
哎哟哟
Well, well, well.
现在我就是主管啦
Looks like I'm now the supervisor.
-临时的 -主管
- "Temporary." - Supervisor.
-只是暂时的 -主管
- For a limited time. - Supervisor!
这意味着所有人要听命于我
And that means that everybody has to do whatever I say.
看看现在是谁在谁的手下
Now, who's under whose thumb,
大学仔 嘿嘿嘿
college Boy? Squishy-squish-squish.
希望你的决定是对的
I hope you did the right thing.
泰勒
听着 听着
Hear ye, hear ye.
有请尊敬的主管 邓肯·P·安德森
Now presenting his Supervisorship, Duncan P. Anderson.
万岁
Huzzah.
"亲爱的妈妈 我已经爬到中层了"
"Dearest Mother, I have clawed my way to the middle,"
"我现在指挥着一支能干的队伍"
"And I now command a capable workforce."
-把最后一点念给我听 -好的
- Read that last bit back to me. - I got it.
-从前面开始读 -"亲爱的妈妈"
- Read it back. - "Dearest Mother..."
-激♥情♥一点 -"亲爱的妈妈..."
- With enthusiasm. - "Dearest Mother..."
去我的管理室 快点
To my supervisory chambers, and be quick about it.
快
Chop-chop.
快 快 快
Chop-chop, chop-chop, chop-chop.
不够好 罗托 还不够好
Hmm. Not good enough, Roto. It's not good enough.
也许迷人的大学仔要来第五次
Well, maybe the fifth time will be the charm, College Boy.
这里 大学仔
Up here, College Boy.