怪兽上班（2021）

奈特教授 我表现怎么样
Well, Professor Knight, how'd I do?
"表现怎么样"
"How'd you do?"
连詹姆斯·P·苏利文本人得分都没这么高
Not even James P. Sullivan himself ever scored this high.
-真的吗 -你是很出色的惊吓专员 塔兹曼先生
- Wait, really? - You're quite the Scarer, Mr. Tuskmon.
谢谢你 老师
Thank you, sir.
等你到了怪兽公♥司♥
And when you get to Monsters, Incorporated...
光是你引发的尖叫
Oh, the screams you
就能给半个怪兽都市供电
generate alone will power half of Monstropolis.
你是说如果我有机会进入怪兽公♥司♥
You mean if I get to Monsters, Incorporated.
不
No.
是何时
When.
泰勒·塔兹曼先生
怪兽都市
-这是什么 -打开它
- What's, uh... - Go on. Open it.
"亲爱的塔兹曼先生
"Dear Mr. Tuskmon.
怪兽公♥司♥很荣幸
Monsters, Incorporated is
向你提供惊吓专员的职位"
pleased to offer you the position of Scarer."
一鸣惊人
Straight to the top!
"请于周一早上九点报到
"Please arrive Monday morning at 9:00 a.m.
来接受你的惊吓任务
to receive your scare assignment.
怪兽公♥司♥
兽力资源办公室
亨利·J·沃特努斯三世
"Sincerely, Henry J. Waternoose III,
怪兽公♥司♥总裁敬上"
CEO, Monsters, Incorporated."
-我做到了 -你要成为惊吓专员了
- I did it. - You're gonna be a Scarer!
我要成为惊吓专员了
I'm gonna be a Scarer.
怪兽上班
第一季 第一集
不再惊吓
我不知道以后要干什么了
I don't know what I'm gonna do now.
我们吓人 因为我们关心 或者我们不吓人了
We scare because we care. Or maybe we don't scare.
事实上 我们根本不吓人 但我们确实关心
Or actually, we don't scare at all, but we do care!
-所以是真的 以后不吓人了 -我还有工作吗
- So it's true? No more scaring? - Do I still have a job?
笑声可以发动汽车 供暖 点亮城市吗
Can Laugh Energy power cars, warm homes and light the city?
你一定得跟弗林特小姐谈谈
You have to talk to Ms. Flint.
-我们完了 -是的 女士
- We're screwed. - Yes, ma'am.
但我不想改变
But I don't want things to change.
这上面说如果你主动碰孩子 他们没有毒性
Says here kids aren't toxic if you touch 'em.
要是他们碰你呢
What if they touch you?
我猜你还是会照常
I assume you still burst
炸成火球 呕吐着死掉
into flames and die of barfing, like always.
小甜甜
Oh, schmoopsie-poo!
大眼熊 谢天谢地你来了
Googly Bear! Thank goodness you're here.
-我需要你... -是不是很棒
- I need you to... - Isn't this great?
工厂照常营业 没人丢了工作
The factory's still open, nobody's out of work,
没人愤愤不平 而且最棒的是什么
no angry mob, and you know the best part?
我们可以回哈利豪森之家了
We can go back to Harryhausen's?
不 我和萨利被永久拉黑了
No, me and Sulley are banned for life.
最棒的是 我可以尽情抖笑料了
The best part is, I get to flex my funny bone!
他们得为制♥造♥笑声把这地方翻新了
They have to overhaul this whole place for laughs.
听着 沃特努斯找你们两个去办公室
Listen, you're both wanted in Waternoose's office.
-立刻 -沃特努斯
- Stat. - Waternoose?
我以为他们昨天就把那只老螃蟹扫地出门了
I thought they carted that old crab away yesterday.
不是沃特努斯要找你们
It's not Waternoose who wants to see you.
孩子们 我们得谈谈
Boys, we need to talk.
萝丝 见到你真扫兴
Oh, Roz, what an unpleasant surprise.
我跟董事会进行了一个简短的汇报
I had a little debrief with the Board of Directors,
他们想让我来传达这个消息
and they wanted me to relay the news.
他们要让你们两个管事
They're putting you two in charge.
你在开玩笑吧
You're kidding.
我当时也这么说
That's what I said.
但是 苏利文 你正式成为怪兽公♥司♥新一任总裁了
But, Sullivan, you're officially the new Monsters, Inc. CEO.
-沃佐斯基 你是... -等等 我知道
- And, Wazowski, you're the... -Wait. I got this.
怪兽公♥司♥的高级联合总裁
Senior Co-President of Monsters, Incorporated.
以及喜剧人力资源管理部
and Chief Executive Vice-Deputy Administrative Director
执行副总裁
of Comedy Resources Management,
或者简称 怪公高联♥总♥兼喜资副总
or, SCPOMICE-VDADOCREM for short.
这没我的事了
My work here is done.
慢走 萝丝
Well, adieu, Roz.
好朋友从不说再见 所以 再见
True friends never say goodbye, so... goodbye.
你能相信吗 萨利 我们说了算了 你和我
Can you believe it, Sulley? We're in charge. You and me!
还有一件事
One last thing.
董事会答应我把我的工作转给我姐姐
The Board promised to give my sister my old job.
她晚点到 祝你们好运
She'll be in later. Good luck.
她可不像我这么活泼
She's not bubbly like me.
那玩意还有个姐姐
That has a sister?
-我们当老大 -是啊
- Us in charge. - Yeah.
你没听错 我们说了算了 楼层主管西莉亚
You heard right, we're in charge, Floor Supervisor Celia.
-什么 真的吗 -对啊
- What? Really? -Yeah, yeah.
"楼层主管" 我吗
"Floor Supervisor"? Me?
我觉得新官上任第一件事
I thought the first order of business
就是提拔被忽视太久的你
should be your long overdue promotion.
所有人 快去工作
Everybody, get back to work!
我在练习楼层主管的声音呢
I'm practicing my Floor Supervisor voice.
-天啊 我... -再见
- Oh, my gosh. I'm... - Goodbye!
当老板这事我还真做得来
I could get into this being-in-charge thing.
倒不是我想谋取私利什么的
Not that I'd use it for personal gain or anything.
你觉得我该涨多少薪水 配一辆公车怎么样
How much should my raise be? What about a company car?
没什么...
You know, nothing...
如果我们没办法保持电力供应 就没什么涨薪了
There won't be any raise or car if we don't keep the power on.
走吧 我们得去惊吓层
Come on, we need to get to the Scare Floor.
-搞笑层 -"搞笑层" 对对
- Laugh Floor. - "Laugh Floor." Right, right.
而且我们得再找几百个搞笑怪兽
And we need to find a couple hundred more funny monsters.
我们还得需要个新口号♥
Plus, we're gonna need a new slogan.
我想想 "嬉闹表演 全城通电"
Let's see... "We clown around to power the town."
-不好 -"尽心搞笑 搞定灯泡"
- No. - "We are funny to keep the lights runny."
接着想 小麦 接着想
Keep trying, Mikey. Keep trying.
这个怎么样
How about this one...
我们吓人 因为我们关心
"我们吓人 因为我们关心"
"We scare because we care."
早上好 同事
Mornin', coworker.
项圈不错 今天我第一天上班
Hey, nice cone. First day as a Scarer.
也许是最后一天
Or your last.
全体请注意
Attention Monsters, Inc...
不敢相信我真来到这了
Wow, I can't believe I'm actually here.
有人吗
Hello? Oh.
怪兽公♥司♥ 我是西莉亚·梅
Monsters, Incorporated. This is Celia Mae.
以后接电♥话♥不归我管了 再见
I no longer answer the phones. Goodbye.
-你好啊 打扰了 -我的咖啡杯在这里
- Hi, there. Excuse me. - Here's my coffee mug.
-这是我的.... -我是惊吓专员泰勒·塔兹曼
- Now here's my... - Tylor Tuskmon. Official Scarer.
什么惊吓员
What Scarer?
不好意思 你得找前台接待员去说
No, I'm sorry, you'll have to talk to the receptionist.
我以为...
I thought...
-我是楼层主管 -那谁才是...
- I'm the Floor Supervisor! - Then who's the...
好吧 谢谢你
Okay, thank you.
你好
Hi.
如果我想去弗林女士的办公室 那我该去哪...
If I were Ms. Flint's office, where would I...
明白了
Got it.
请站在关闭的门前标记的位置上
Take your position on the mark in front of the closet door.
然后准备为人造假儿童们表演你们的幽默口才
Then proceed to perform your humorous dissertation
或是一系列的肢体搞笑动作
or series of physical buffooneries for the artificial child.
你们的表现
The metrics of your performance
将通过幽默计量器进行衡量
will be measured by our humor gauge
当然也包括电力计量器
as well as our power gauge,
它可以显示你们的行动产生了多少欢笑能量
which indicates the amount of gigglewatt energy produced.
-听明白了吗 -你好
- Is that clear? - Uh, hi.
-打扰了 弗林女士 -先坐下
- Excuse me, Ms. Flint? - Take a seat.
-我马上就来 -好的 明白 谢谢
- I'll be right with you. - Okay, got it. Thanks.
你好啊
Hey there!
或许我可以跟你讲个笑话
Maybe I can tell you a joke?
快想想 笑话 笑话
Okay, a joke, a joke.
要如何让一个怪兽漂浮起来[漂浮冰淇淋]Uh, how do you make a monster float?
一个怪兽 两勺冰淇淋 再加点根汁啤酒
One monster, two scoops of ice cream, and some root beer.
好笑吧
Funny!
挠痒痒 我可是在怪兽搞笑学院接受了四年培训啊